Today, I found out that my daughter is dating my boss' daughter....

By Anonymous - 1/11/2009 17:51 - United States

Today, I found out that my daughter is dating my boss' daughter. I found this out because my extremely homophobic boss told me and wants me to 'heal' them or get fired. I didn't even know my daughter was gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30847

You deserved it

3356

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Intimacy

Serious times

Rich people problems

Empathy hurts

By Anonymous - 14/2/2010 14:21 - United States

Today, I realized that the "pimples" on my back weren't pimples at all. Because I was unable to see how bad they were for the last week, I never caught on to the fact the they were, in fact, ticks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40115

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By Dana - 10/5/2011 08:36 - Netherlands

Today, I finally mustered the courage to tell my crush how I feel. He's a straight-A student and very nice in general. After I finished pouring my heart out, he stared at me for a bit and then said: "Nice rack." FML

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42950

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By EmmaleeSupertramp - 14/2/2014 03:16 - United States

Today, it was the first dress rehearsal at a community theater. I'm playing a grandma to a bunch of little kids, and the guy who is playing the grandpa wears a fat suit. I put on my costume and one of the kids comes up to me and says, "Are you wearing a fat suit too?" and pokes my stomach. FML

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42612

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - 6/11/2019 05:15

What is the real feeling?

Today, my friends and I were acting out porn scenes without sex. Then, I realized that we all watch too much porn, and we are still all virgins. FML

I agree, your life sucks

823

You deserved it

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By Not Again! - 14/6/2019 04:16

Today, while riding a massive draft horse, the horse thought it would be fun to walk under a very low apple tree that sat level with his back. A branch hit me and made me fall off onto a coil of barbed wire, twisting my ankle in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks

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You deserved it

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By GladYoureConcerned - 30/12/2015 18:15 - United States - Glendale

Today, after we had sex, my boyfriend told me how my orgasms used to make him think I was having a seizure. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33502

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - 6/12/2009 22:13 - United States

Today, I got a birthday present from my boyfriend's mom. It was ProActiv acne solution. He tried to make me feel better by explaining it's because she wants to be able to include me in family pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40076

You deserved it

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By furred - 1/6/2012 04:48 - Philippines

Today, I was playing an online game in nothing but my boxers, when suddenly a girl joined my team. I immediately felt embarrassed and put some pants on. There were no webcams involved. I need to get out more. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22783

You deserved it

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By crazydog - 10/6/2011 20:39 - United Kingdom

Today, my dog surprised everyone by somehow managing to climb on the roof. I followed him up and spent the next hour trying to catch him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29560

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By Binks - 23/11/2018 09:30 - United States - Bonneau

Today, my dad took away my Xbox because "You never do anything active." I had just run a 5K. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2817

You deserved it

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By fuck my goddamn life - 15/2/2014 20:51 - United States

Today, I'm stuck in a hotel with my psychotic mom, all because she swore there were "demonic" noises coming from our oven. Yeah, our oven is totally possessed, you idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42421

You deserved it

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By FirstDaddy - 16/6/2014 21:38 - United States - Southfield

Today, my daughter told me that she liked her "other daddy" better. I don't know who's she talking about, but my wife is doing a good job telling her to be quiet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

63137

You deserved it

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By yolomane - 6/12/2019 01:00

He does not care!

Today, I was walking to the bus stop for school. And the bus drove past me, I chased it and fell in a puddle, my boyfriend was in the bus, and he laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1940

You deserved it

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By sewdevastated - 18/5/2016 02:02 - United States - Fremont

Today, I found out that my mother intentionally donated the quilt that I had made for her, because, "It didn't match anything". That was $70 worth of fabric and 7 and a half weeks spent on that handiwork of mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13956

You deserved it

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By foreversingle - 30/6/2013 18:09 - Netherlands - Helmond

Today, I bought some makeup supplies at the supermarket. The cashier snorted and muttered, "Not enough in the world for you." FML

I agree, your life sucks

49320

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - 18/12/2008 04:32 - United States

Today, I was jacking off casually to a picture of my ex-girlfriend, when all of the sudden, my friend sends me an IM picture of a granny bending over which pops up on my screen. I think my sex life is ruined forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19602

You deserved it

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By redneckpunk - 16/3/2015 19:15 - United States - Schaumburg

Today, during a date with my girlfriend, I found out you can hiccup hard enough to convince someone that you're having a seizure. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31561

You deserved it

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By KittenTitz - 3/5/2020 20:00

Planned parenthood

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I also found out that the dad has a fiancée. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1604

You deserved it

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By idontmakethedresscode - 23/10/2015 08:17 - United States - Napa

Today, my classmate went into rage mode and cursed at me, complaining how it's so unfair that I'm allowed to wear a hijab in class but she isn't allowed to wear a Flamingo hat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27843

You deserved it

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By Katrina - 13/2/2011 22:32 - United States

Today, I was busily having fun with my girlfriend, when suddenly the bedroom door opened and a man walked in, picked me up, and threw me outside the apartment. I was naked and didn't even know she was into men, much less had a husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48356

You deserved it

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By momma - 16/8/2013 15:21 - Canada - Toronto

Today, while getting ready to welcome my first child into the world, my father in law decided to "help out" and threw out a bunch of papers I needed. Like my child's application for a health card, social insurance number, and my birth plan, as well as instructions from my doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50868

You deserved it

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By Kidsthesedays - 9/11/2015 19:33 - United Kingdom - Saint Neots

Today, a kid came into the classroom I teach in to tell me there was "something" in the girls' toilets. "What kind of something", I asked? I was not expecting the answer "A period mural". FML

I agree, your life sucks

24688

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - 8/12/2012 19:30 - United States - Long Beach

Today, feeling very distant to my daughter recently, I decided to sneak a peek in her diary to see what was on her mind. The book was apparently one of those that play the sound of a woman screaming when opened improperly, and alerted everyone in the house to my actions. FML

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6759

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By fuckingtrollingskankwhoreshitwankcuntfuck - 13/7/2013 17:33 - United States - Enfield

Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when a girl came out of nowhere, screaming at me for cheating on her, and saying she was dumping me. I've never seen her before, and she was almost grinning during her little act, but my girlfriend believed it, and I'm now single. FML

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You deserved it

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By Anonymous - 7/11/2017 06:00

recoils in horror

Today, I am violently allergic to my boyfriend's new hand cream. I know this because after last night's quickie on the sofa, I now have a rash all over my skin and weeping sores inside my vagina and around my bum hole. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6514

You deserved it

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By unashamed - 5/6/2014 08:11 - Australia - Ipswich

Today, an older gentleman came into my work for underwear. I helped him find his size, pulled out a pair of navy ones and he then turned to me and said, "I don't want dark colours because I can't tell if I've shit myself." He then continued looking for all the white pairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45940

You deserved it

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By antisocial - 12/8/2010 08:07 - Canada

Today, I told my parents that I wasn't feeling very social and up for company. How do they try to make me feel better? By inviting a whole bunch of people I don't know to a pool party at my house. They said I should face my fears. I'm now in my room, hiding. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31861

You deserved it

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By anonymous - 20/10/2010 06:38 - New Zealand

Today, I got so nervous that I actually peed my pants during a job interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31492

You deserved it

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By a.baybay - 7/1/2010 06:03 - United States

Today, I noticed that my long distance boyfriend of almost four months only calls me to have phone sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12046

You deserved it

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By ShameMonkey - 27/9/2016 10:15 - Australia - Glen Waverley

Today, while commuting to work on a peak hour train, I lost my balance and accidentally grabbed a bald mans head to steady myself. To make matters worse, the words "oh gosh, I'm so sorry. I thought you were a knob" came out of my mouth before I could think about what I was saying. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11121

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - 14/7/2020 20:01

Age appropriate

Today, I got refused a Red Bull because I didn't have my ID on me and you have to be over 16 to legally buy one. I'm 26 and was paying for petrol for the car that I was going to drive away in. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1329

You deserved it

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By occam's pube-razor - 5/9/2015 04:26 - United States - Buena Vista

Today, I parked my car, went to pay for my spot, and returned to my car only to find a parking violation ticket tucked under the windshield wipers. This all happened in less than a minute. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27574

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - 1/8/2011 08:32 - Australia

Today, I found out why my cups of tea have been tasting a bit funny. It turns out my kettle is full of ants, so every time I boil water to make tea, the ants get re-boiled along with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35457

You deserved it

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By Greattitan2 - 29/6/2015 20:34 - United States - Beaufort

Today, I was working at a fast food restaurant when I cut my hand. There was a good amount of blood flowing out so I ran to my manager and asked where the first aid kit was. He then picked up a washcloth and some tape and handed it to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25502

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - 27/7/2019 16:00

Today, my youngest of four children turned 18. It was also the same day that my ex-wife called to tell me that after 18 years of paying child support, I wasn't the father. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2611

You deserved it

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By this sucks - 5/8/2013 04:00 - United States - El Paso

Today, after gaining all the weight back that I had lost after my first marriage, I realized that the only thing that fits me now is my wedding ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40013

You deserved it

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By snowbell18 - 25/9/2012 07:08 - United States

Today, I had to pay my manager $10 just to take my stalker's order so I didn't have to. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23834

You deserved it

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By fatteningmeup - 26/5/2011 14:24 - United States

Today, I found out my mom intentionally puts extra butter and oil in the food she cooks for me because she wants me to be fatter than her. FML

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59277

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - 11/12/2009 05:10 - United States

Today, my mom picked my ex-boyfriend up early from school to take him to see a special screening of a documentary that's showing in town. She left me after school for an hour and a half because they ended up going out for coffee afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34577

You deserved it

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By Unreality - 26/1/2011 21:26 - United States

Today, I discovered my fiancé has been telling everyone else we are just friends, yet last night he wanted me to go with him to pick up my engagement ring. I'm supposing the wedding will be a surprise to everyone. FML

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Top comments

By gravityplanx | 0

#649809 - Sunday 1 November 2009 23:54

blessing in disguise!!!

Get yourself fired. File a HUGE lawsuit. Go get a job somewhere where your boss isn't a total A-hole.

Seriously, he can't fire you because your daughter is gay. He can't even legally fire you if YOU'RE gay, let alone your daughter. So let him try to do it and then get yourself a good lawyer... this should work out well...

By ericalew_xo | 0

#649783 - Sunday 1 November 2009 23:39

That is a pretty shitty way to find out your daughter is gay, but that's not really the FML here. I'm sorry your boss is so homophobic and would fire you for something completely out of your control.

COMMENTS

By slitherbomb | 0

#649745 - Sunday 1 November 2009 23:30

wow that sucks...

WTFuckMiranda | 0

#779207 - Sunday 17 January 2010 7:11

You should tell him that homophobia is actually the fear of sameness.

austinryansmith | 0

#793196 - Saturday 23 January 2010 15:58

holy crap that's funny

diaRocks | 0

#989579 - Sunday 9 May 2010 1:52

im definitely going to say that next time someone says their homophobic, make them look like idiots lol

By pinktiger | 0

#649748 - Sunday 1 November 2009 23:31

the term is lesbiannn duh

xxorganizedmess | 0

#649771 - Sunday 1 November 2009 23:36

Um, "gay" encompasses both homosexual men and women.
the term can be gayyy duh.

JustinKingr | 0

#843538 - Thursday 11 February 2010 5:14

finally someone who knows and it only took 2 years

By ericalew_xo | 0

#649783 - Sunday 1 November 2009 23:39

That is a pretty shitty way to find out your daughter is gay, but that's not really the FML here. I'm sorry your boss is so homophobic and would fire you for something completely out of your control.

nerdchic | 5

#2290336 - Monday 4 April 2011 3:40

um maybe her daughter couldn't tell her bc she was afraid of disappointment..

izzie321 | 27

#5612370 - Sunday 4 August 2013 9:19

#76 - Maybe you didn't comprehend that right? It doesn't really have much to do with OP knowing her daughter is lesbian, it's more that OP's boss is homophobic and that OP will be fired unless he does something he can't do.

By electro_fml | 0

#649789 - Sunday 1 November 2009 23:41

starcrossed lovers! so romantic. just have them pretend they're "healed."

By blland | 0

#649806 - Sunday 1 November 2009 23:53

hire a bishop at the boss' expense. ask to create a scene. then you realize the bishop is gay, too.

nintenDX | 0

#840210 - Wednesday 10 February 2010 5:55

lol

By gravityplanx | 0

#649809 - Sunday 1 November 2009 23:54

rndg | 0

#1249430 - Monday 16 August 2010 2:01

The boss won't say anywhere he fired the OP for that reason. He'll just look for the slightest reason to fire the OP, and make it look legitimate.

283leis | 8

#5471523 - Tuesday 30 April 2013 2:53

It's the US. Chances are if OP filed a lawsuit the judge would also be homophobic, and OP would lose.

waffle3z | 6

#5622371 - Sunday 11 August 2013 7:46

No no, have it all backward. He's threatening to fire him because his own daughter is gay.

By Guitarist45 | 0

#649836 - Monday 2 November 2009 0:08

I agree, this is a lawsuit in the making.

By kukopia | 0

#649837 - Monday 2 November 2009 0:08

Tell the boss that your daughter is only pretending to date his daughter so your daughter can infiltrate the gay-clan.

By rhymethyme | 0

#649942 - Monday 2 November 2009 1:15

Okay that honestly sucks
It's her business who she f*cks
If I were you
I'd totally sue
Or at least hit the guy with a truck

apfunction | 0

#925796 - Monday 8 March 2010 19:56

^^this comment is awesome^^

cutieepie101 | 0

#4214445 - Sunday 25 March 2012 21:22

best commet I have ever read.

buhrittanyerin | 6

#4423040 - Saturday 12 May 2012 5:19

thats the best rhyming i've seen in a while.
where can i find all of your comments compiled?

(get it? mine rhymed tooo. :)

i'm such a loser.. :/

By Godavari | 0

#649968 - Monday 2 November 2009 1:36

I'm sorry your boss is a dick. FYL

What is the real feeling?

He does not care!

Planned parenthood

*recoils in horror*

Age appropriate

recoils in horror