Love: Today, I found out that just because your boyfriend asks you... - FML

By Loveless - 20/07/2009 01:06 - United States

Today, I found out that just because your boyfriend asks you to marry him doesn't mean that he will show up at the wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 247 291

You deserved it 15 352

Own it

Boozehounds

Family ties

By Disturbed son - 16/09/2018 01:30

Today, my mother sent a picture that was meant for her husband. I cannot unsee what I have seen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 997

You deserved it 184

Check 'em

By David H. - 23/12/2010 08:18

Spicy

Today, I saw my first boobs ever, at 18, volunteering at a retirement home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 865

You deserved it 7 750

By santa_maria - 25/08/2011 21:45 - Reunion

Today, I had an interview for an internship at an independent lawyer's office. Hoping to increase my chances of being hired, I dressed up sexily with a short skirt, high heels, and ample cleavage. Turns out his wife handles the interviews. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 189

You deserved it 106 567

By thatwasembarrassing - 04/09/2018 15:00

Today, at a dinner I'd been planning for months with my fiancé to talk to our families about the wedding for the first time, he told me he didn't want to get married. I cried in front of both of our families and a dozen of strangers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 173

You deserved it 406

By Anonymous - 29/05/2019 00:08

Today, I find myself in an unfortunate situation. I met my girlfriend's family and it turns out she's the baby of the family with 7 older brothers, a dad and a granddad, and 6 uncles. That’s 15 very large, very overprotective men I’m sure all want me dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 963

You deserved it 308

By Ugly - 22/08/2013 23:40 - United States - Jerseyville

Today, I went to my high school reunion. Someone walked up to me and said, "Wow, you look so different!" She then followed it up with, "You used to be so pretty, what happened?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 088

You deserved it 3 486

By Dipping Tired - 20/04/2016 23:17 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, while half asleep, I dipped my finger in ketchup instead of a fry, and bit down on it so hard I needed stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 709

You deserved it 7 125

By cannabis_this420 - 17/03/2009 01:42 - United States

Today, my mother called me and told me that she went to the hospital. This wasn't a surprise 'cos she normally goes to the hospital for the smallest things. So, I was a smart ass and asked, "What now? You finally have lung cancer from all those cigarettes?" Apparently, she does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 877

You deserved it 100 779

By Melinie - 24/06/2012 03:23 - United States

Today, I found an empty parking space in a crowded parking lot. When I came back later, a lady and a cop were standing by my car. Her car used to be parked there and got stolen. They think I'm involved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 551

You deserved it 1 892

By Anonymous - 11/02/2017 06:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, by helping my sweet, caring boyfriend get over his crippling insecurities and develop some confidence, I've turned him into a lying, cheating asshole I can't stand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 390

You deserved it 1 442

By Fuperman - 02/06/2013 23:14 - France - Illange

Today, I went on my first ever assisted skydive. I fainted after we jumped, and only came to as we touched the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 612

You deserved it 6 709

By loveless - 24/09/2009 04:30 - United States

Spicy

Today, I surprised my girlfriend with U2 tickets. Still no action. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 121

You deserved it 33 357

By CutieBooty - 22/02/2011 21:02 - United States

Spicy

Today, after some passionate love making with my husband, I accidentally farted on his leg. He shrieked and frantically began shaking his leg while screaming, "Get it off! Get it off!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 295

You deserved it 35 635

We need to know more!

By Anonymous - 27/02/2021 08:00 - Austria

Today, I lost the best girl that I’ve ever met, she blocked me on every social media and I don't know why, she wrote to me every day, and suddenly I got blocked. Her birthday is in one month, I had the best present and I can't even change or return it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 214

You deserved it 162

Superspreader event

By Anonymous - 03/08/2021 05:59

Today, my son had a fever and bad cough all night. Turns out he has RSV. My friend's baby, whose birthday party we went to a few days ago, also has RSV, and had been sick all week. She knew this and still went through with the party, without informing any of us parents. Now my baby is on breathing treatments. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 167

You deserved it 72

By Steph - 21/06/2009 12:05 - Bulgaria

Spicy

Today, I realized how much I hate my apartment. Not only can I hear my creepy upstairs neighbor having sex with random hookers every few night, I can also hear him everytime he takes a shit. I honestly don't know which is worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 224

You deserved it 3 252

By Username - 21/04/2011 18:30 - United States

Spicy

Today, I came home to find that all my porn magazines have been "censored" with a black sharpie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 145

You deserved it 55 559

By hawkknight - 23/02/2017 15:00 - United States - Portland

Today, at work, I broke the drinks machine for the third time. The first two times I broke the key, this time I switched it off and couldn't turn it back on after my manager warned me not to mess with it AFTER I had switched it off. The best part? The key is still broken from last time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 291

You deserved it 5 622

By aligator1009 - 09/05/2012 04:54 - United States

Today, I went to the beach. While I was enjoying the sun, an old man with prosthetic leg and no clothes on sat next to me. He took off his fake leg and put it behind his head. Then he opened his legs revealing his "stuff." I will never unsee this. Ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 040

You deserved it 2 563

Close shave

By Elisabeth - 16/08/2020 17:01

Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. He went to get popcorn and I went to the bathroom. Thinking he had got back before me, I sat down next to him in the theater. I leaned in to kiss him, then realized it was some 70-year-oldish woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 541

You deserved it 1 402

By youfuckingslut - 11/11/2012 19:11 - United States

Today, I accidentally bumped into another car on the road. The worst of the damage was a slight chip to the other driver's paint, but she played it up so much that she ended up being taken away in an ambulance. I'm now terrified that the crazy bitch is going to sue me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 600

You deserved it 3 340

Shut your pie hole, please

By An unemployed doorman - 14/02/2021 20:30 - United Kingdom

Today, I have to listen to my flatmate complaining that ladies don’t shag him anymore since his dad, in Saudi Arabia, cut him off. Apparently, they show a lot of interest until he reveals his financial situation. The dude actually thought he was God's gift to women instead of a mobile ATM. What a tool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 854

You deserved it 106

Poor little bunny

By Anonymous - 30/06/2021 04:01

Today, after I warned my son repeatedly that if he wanted a rabbit he had to clean and feed it, I checked on it. It wasn’t just dead, it was dead and rotting in a pool of its own pee and faeces. I yelled at him, but he just shrugged and told me rabbits are boring and he forgot it was even there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 533

You deserved it 1 796

By Profucktardor - 24/01/2014 20:33 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, my university professor admitted to sometimes just winging it when she's teaching. "Yeah," she said, "sometimes I just don't get this stuff either." No wonder I'm failing. 5ML

I agree, your life sucks 46 805

You deserved it 3 889

By Anonymous - 10/11/2018 13:30

Today, my sister got fired and I got promoted to her job, got a nice payrise for it. My relationship with my sister will never be the same again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 556

You deserved it 312

By Anonymous - 11/08/2012 14:20 - United Kingdom - Bishops Stortford

Today, my social anxiety hit a new low. I was playing bingo and, although I won, I didn't shout "bingo" because I thought too many people would look at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 420

You deserved it 8 858

By Anonymous - 04/03/2012 07:07 - United States

Spicy

Today, things were getting heated with my boyfriend and I told him that I was finally ready to lose my virginity. Clearly he couldn't wait to get started because he fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 683

You deserved it 4 216

By Anonymous - 12/02/2021 23:01

Spicy

Today, I was texting my boyfriend while in the car with my family. He sent a particularly racy text, and my little sister happened to look over at my phone and then asked quite loudly, "What does anal mean?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 523

You deserved it 984

By HungerStrike - 29/12/2013 23:28 - Czech Republic - Hostivice

Today, me and some friends had home-made burgers for lunch. The guy who did the cooking later insisted that spitting in a frying pan is a perfectly acceptable way of guessing the right time to add the oil. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 110

You deserved it 3 554

By brenami - 31/12/2010 06:13 - United States

Today, I took my daughter to the grocery store. The bag boy seemed to be flirting with me and smiling. He had to be half my age. Once in the car I glimpsed myself in the rear view mirror. I had chocolate completely covering one of my front teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 754

You deserved it 7 685

By Anonymous - 11/06/2019 06:00

Today, I was picking up after my dog with a poo baggie over my hand, like a mitten. Too bad the bottom ripped open and my bare hand poked through it just as I grabbed a big handful of steaming dog turd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 784

You deserved it 288

No kink shaming

By Anonymous - 15/09/2021 08:01 - United States - Mountain View

Spicy

Today, I found out the real reason for my parents' divorce. Not because they had grown apart as they claimed, but because my dad was sleeping with hookers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 069

You deserved it 67

By Anonymous - 27/01/2013 11:10 - United States - Grand Junction

Today, the rollercoaster I was on stuck upside down for a few minutes. I shat myself in terror. Then, gravity took effect. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 704

You deserved it 10 772

By Lisa - 23/08/2019 22:00 - United States - Tupelo

Today, a woman came knocking on my door. Not to sell something or to chat, no. To punch me in the mouth. Apparently, I stole her husband and I'm a homewrecker. We don't have a clue who she is. My husband and I have been married for 5 years, and were high school sweethearts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 989

You deserved it 219

By yif2 - 16/05/2015 11:47 - United States

Today, while mowing my backyard, I messily discovered that a family of rabbits has been living out there in the tall grass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 008

You deserved it 5 670

Zzzzzzzzz

By driving me crazy - 26/05/2017 16:00

Today, I had to temporarily relocate to my brother's room after mine was being repainted. Not only do I have to sleep on the floor, but I also have to put up with my brother and dog both snoring loudly. What's worse is that they alternate in snoring. Goodbye sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 783

You deserved it 396

Covidiots

By Anonymous - 14/01/2021 02:01 - United States - Orlando

Today, I found out my roommate was exposed to COVID back on New Year's. She tested positive on the 4th and was scared too tell me because she, "didn't want me to see her as irresponsible." Now I can't work for 2 weeks and need to find a place to stay because my roommate still doesn't think it's "that serious." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 103

You deserved it 152

By RandomMe - 26/02/2016 08:00 - Cambodia - Sihanouk

Today, I was craving some popcorn, so I went to the supermarket and bought the microwaveable type. When I got home, I remembered I didn't have a microwave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 641

You deserved it 11 876

By FutureMarine3658 - 08/08/2012 14:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, out of habit, after scratching my balls, I then smelt my hand. It was at that moment I realized most of my gym was staring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 418

You deserved it 50 386

FML Uncensored

By Nightmares - 07/08/2012 02:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I surprisingly found two empty seats on the subway. Before anyone could get to them, I rushed and triumphantly sat down, enjoying my victory, until I noticed why they were empty. I had just sat down next to a guy vigorously trying to fellate himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 481

You deserved it 8 222

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Top comments

Broc 0

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Monday 20 July 2009 9:05

I hope you never give him a second chance after a stunt like that.

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Monday 20 July 2009 9:02

ooo. that sucks.... fyl

Comments

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Monday 20 July 2009 9:02

ooo. that sucks.... fyl

Send a private message

Monday 20 July 2009 9:30

sounds like you need a new boyfriend or a vibrator to calm your nerves

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Thursday 23 July 2009 2:33

i agree

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Thursday 1 April 2010 3:41

I agree with you and #101

jasonsaied 1

Saturday 12 June 2010 0:34

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

missmontreal97 4

Send a private message

Wednesday 11 August 2010 22:26

he's a jerk

whoisthisgirl 4

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Sunday 5 June 2011 10:54

holy shit Jason I'm screen printing this because I think you're the Jason saied I know lmfao! I'm gunna Text it to you later hahaha

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Monday 20 July 2009 9:02

awwww thats so bad

Monday 20 July 2009 9:03

You PHAIL.

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Monday 20 July 2009 9:25

NO! It's Phale lol

Send a private message

Tuesday 6 March 2012 2:39

FUCK U NIGGER ASSHOLE JIGGERLO! IT WASNT HER FAULT ASS HOLE HOW WOULD U LIKE IT IF SOMEONE ASKED TO MARRY U AND DIDNT SHOW UP? THATS RIGHT MOTHER FUCKER UR LIFE FAILS

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Sunday 24 June 2012 3:00

How do they fail?

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Monday 20 July 2009 9:04

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Broc 0

Send a private message

Monday 20 July 2009 9:05

I hope you never give him a second chance after a stunt like that.

Send a private message

Monday 20 July 2009 9:05

That's awful! I'm sure he just had last minute nerves and didn't mean to hurt you though. I hope things work out.

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Monday 20 July 2009 9:09

you're better off without him. no worries.

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Monday 20 July 2009 9:40

you sound so sure. do you know him??

ichwillkeinengel 0

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Monday 20 July 2009 23:41

You can tell by the fact that he's a huge enough piece of shit that he leaves his fiance at the alter.

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Monday 20 July 2009 9:10

Im so sorry. That really must've hurt. He probably had last minute plans or something. Maybe he was getting you some luxorious gift and was stuck in traffic? .__.

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Monday 20 July 2009 9:11

Ouch... fyl is an understatement you'll be better off without him anyway

PandaPandaPandaX 0

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Monday 20 July 2009 9:12

Ohh dam that sucks

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Sunday 26 June 2011 15:20

photo shop broo

Nearly

Today, I feel like I'm going crazy as I'm in a 2-year relationship with a guy who's 17 years older than me (I'm 23). He's a wonderful partner and I'm totally in love, but the age gap causes monthly, sometimes daily, shifts between wanting to have it all with him, and wanting to leave him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 29

Today, it has been 7 years of me submitting FML’s. I don’t know what worse, that I’ve submitted so many of that none have never been featured. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41

You deserved it 23

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I found out my husband has to take Viagra to get it up with me. He never needed it with his ex-wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 651

You deserved it 196

Today, my boyfriend has spent all morning claiming there’s nothing to do when it’s raining outside. Sex is always an option, but he’s missed all my hints, including stripping naked and kissing him, because he thought I was on my way to get a shower instead of trying to fuck him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 873

You deserved it 266