Work: Today, I found out that being rushed unconscious to the hospital...

By pissedexworker - 18/12/2010 15:10 - United States

Today, I found out that being rushed unconscious to the hospital and missing work qualifies you for termination if you don't call in, even if you have a note from the ER doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 907

You deserved it 2 403

Work

Good kid

Rude!

Influencer behavior

By WhatALoserAmI - 27/06/2016 16:08 - India - Bhopal

Today, an old friend of mine refused to go to a movie with me. Turns out he was sitting in front of me with my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 635

You deserved it 859

By EliseV - 03/11/2014 18:56 - United States - Chino Hills

Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 804

You deserved it 5 964

The one with the asshole friend

By Anonymous - 07/11/2020 06:31 - India

Today, after going through a surgery related to my ovaries, having a life-threatening complication during the surgery due to anesthesia, my doctor warning me about future infertility, a friend tells me that no one will marry me now, since I have stretch marks and stitches marks on my abdomen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 056

You deserved it 49

Slipped up

By hate my job - 24/09/2021 20:00

Today, I sent my resumé to a former coworker to get some pointers, except that I sent it to his old work email account and now my boss knows I’m looking for a new job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 875

By Anonymous - 25/04/2009 06:52 - United States

Today, I was in an elevator with my family and a family I didn't know. I was about to press the number when somebody came up behind me. I thought it was my brother trying to press the number first, so I aggressivly pushed him out of the way. Turns out it was the other family's ten year old son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 953

You deserved it 61 212

By arctic1 - 27/05/2009 09:45 - United States

Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 276

You deserved it 68 473

By corleon198425 - 19/02/2010 18:44 - United States

Today, I was walking to work, when I slipped and landed on my tail bone. Worse still, my hot coffee went flying into my face. I currently can't see out of my left eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 060

You deserved it 2 370

By Check Writer - 20/05/2013 23:07 - United States - Oceanside

Today, I was notified that the company did not give me a raise two months ago like I thought. The increase was a typo. Two months ago I wrote a thank you for the raise email to my boss. Now I get to write a check to the company to pay back my "raise." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 671

You deserved it 3 208

By WishIWasAWriter - 08/09/2011 18:03 - United Kingdom

Today, I bought a book by a #1 bestselling author, hoping it would distract me from having my manuscript rejected, as well as learn what made their book so successful. Now I realize I need to say stuff like, "I wish I had great boobs (hehe... boobs)" to get my works published. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 313

You deserved it 3 316

By Anonymous - 20/12/2013 14:27 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, my boss decided that a mug and a public 'thank you' were a sufficient substitute for a Christmas bonus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 391

You deserved it 3 873

By uhhh what? - 10/04/2012 17:47 - United States - Bellevue

Today, my parents told me that I will grow up to be a criminal, living on the streets, on drugs. All this because I took the last chocolate egg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 261

You deserved it 5 518

By jaymaag25 - 20/10/2016 06:28 - United States - Saint Joseph

Today, it seems like everyone in my family knew about my boyfriend's new engagement, all except me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 093

You deserved it 932

Keep the peace

By Anonymous - 02/10/2020 18:02 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my girlfriend accidentally put rubbish in the neighbour's bin. Then the old lady took all the rubbish out and threw it on the floor. I came out and tried to calm the situation, but then my girlfriend ran downstairs and tipped her cat food and cat milk bowls over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 662

You deserved it 92

By kysier - 01/03/2015 23:36 - United States - Campbellsville

Today, I was turned down from the dream job that I was promised two years ago, once my chemo and radiation therapy was finished. His excuse? He never actually expected me to survive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 320

You deserved it 2 407

You snooze, you lose

By Jaymail - 17/05/2020 17:00

Today, I saw some really nice dining room chairs sitting out on the curb waiting for the garbage man. I went to the door to ask the owners why they were throwing them out. They told me it was because they had just bought new furniture. While I was talking to the owner, somebody else picked them up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 593

You deserved it 480

By "willkftw" - 14/04/2019 16:00

Today, despite putting all the food in the fridge, taking all the rubbish outside, cleaning the house top to bottom and setting up bait, we're still dealing with a bloody huge ant problem. I've now got a rash all over from being bitten while I sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 893

You deserved it 146

Teamwork works

By Anonymous - 16/02/2021 01:58 - Australia

Today, I had a huge amount of work to get through. Two colleagues offered to help, because one had nothing else to do, and the other couldn't work until I was done. My boss got really pissed at me for "making" them do my job and wasting their time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 914

You deserved it 72

Where did you guys come from?

By Brad - 04/07/2021 21:59 - United States

Today, I woke up to find two pitbulls viciously tearing up my couch. I have never owned a dog and I live alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 965

You deserved it 61

By loser - 10/12/2018 14:00

Today I bought the Gold edition to a game for $90. I expected to be very good only to realize it was the same as the previous installment. I went to check the refund policy and it said that I had to have played less than 2 hours, I had 121 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 488

You deserved it 954

By welptimetoburntheplacedown - 11/08/2014 15:02 - United States - Louisville

Today, I decided to spend a few days at my grandma's house, to help her clean the place up a bit. So far, she's given me a "no masturbating under my roof" talk, used multiple racist slurs, and yelled "QUIET DOWN!" when I so much as sneezed in the next room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 191

You deserved it 3 654

By Anonymous - 15/06/2009 04:48 - Australia

Today, my grandpa died. I decided to call my grandma to make sure she was going to be fine. After talking over the phone for 30 minutes or so, I told her goodbye and said, out of habit: "Say hi to grandpa for me". FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 652

You deserved it 25 852

By Anonymous - 25/08/2015 17:44 - United Kingdom - Saint Leonards

Today, I shaved my pubes while staying at my senile grandma's place. I guess I didn't clean up properly, because she found some hair and insisted someone must have broken in while we were out and used the shower. I had to play along to spare myself embarrassment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 502

You deserved it 7 178

Age ain't nothing but a number

By why lie - 04/06/2020 20:00

Today, my boyfriend renewed his driver's license and showed me the picture. I told him he needed to go back because they'd put the wrong birthdate. Turns out the idiot forgot he’s been lying to me about his age the whole time we’ve been together. He’s not actually 30. He’ll be 43 in two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 688

You deserved it 473

By Nice Melons - 29/09/2013 21:12 - United States

Today, at work as a cashier, I was scanning cantaloupes. The man buying them then looked me straight in the eye and said, "Nice melons." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 655

You deserved it 4 933

How d'you think I look so good?

By Anonymous - 07/06/2021 17:00

Today, I got home and my wife asked me to help yell at the kids for ruining over £1000 of her makeup supplies. I did an almost double take at the fact I had no idea she had spent over £1000 just on makeup. No wonder we’re always broke the end of the month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 188

You deserved it 192

By whoababy55 - 21/08/2009 17:07 - United States

Today, at around 1 am, my boyfriend drunk-dialed and broke up with me. He didn't seem to remember he had already broken up with me yesterday. Thanks for reminding me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 376

You deserved it 2 624

Y'all need him!

By Anon - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had to tell my mom to stop sending pictures of Jesus to my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 774

You deserved it 3 502

By loser - 20/07/2009 22:39 - Canada

Today, I was testing out my new webcam on an msn Video Call with a friend I hadn't seen in a while. In an attempt to look cool, I pretended to have a very interesting phone conversation. Later I found out my webcam has a mic. She "heard" the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 367

You deserved it 69 233

By MusicLover18 - 03/09/2014 23:35 - Canada - Leduc

Today, I caught my little sister taking a selfie in the mirror with a fake nose piercing, peace sign, and a duck face. She's 12. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 529

You deserved it 4 213

By kjmsit - 16/06/2009 04:38 - United States

Today, I reached into my fridge to grab a strawberry soda. I noticed the can had started to leak from the top so I slurped up the spilt red liquid on the top of the can. I realized it wasn't soda, but blood from a defrosting steak on the shelf above it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 642

You deserved it 23 381

Good initiative

By cough - 27/12/2019 14:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was choking on an apple and asked my sister to get me some water. She got some. Then drank it herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 691

You deserved it 211

By screwed - 10/02/2013 10:41 - United States

Today, I finally figured out why I've been getting diarrhea so often over the past six months. It only happens whenever I do something "sneaky". My body reacts strongly to how I stress over potentially getting caught. I'm a private investigator, and I apparently need a new career. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 472

You deserved it 4 268

Just a prank, bro!

By Scared - 13/07/2019 02:30

Today, I played a harmless joke on my neighbors by pointing a laser pointer out of my window onto their wall. Apparently, my neighbors don't take jokes lightly as one of the sons pointed at my window while screaming and swearing, then took out a gang bandana and wrapped it around his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 667

You deserved it 2 606

By ambiiii - 20/08/2015 03:25 - United States - Marble Falls

Today, my niece started crying because she thought that someday she'll look like me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 508

You deserved it 2 024

Pay up, dude

By Anonymous - 23/11/2020 20:02 - Canada - Barrie

Today, I found out I had gotten a parking ticket while I was travelling a few months back in California. I moved since, so I didn’t know I had it so it increased to 200$ and when I told the guy who was actually driving the car about it, he blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 852

You deserved it 114

By Local Welsh - 16/08/2018 18:30

Today, my husband's cousin told me it's a tradition that I should have sex with the eldest male cousin (him) as a rite of passage, and I probably don't know this being of foreign origin. I emigrated here and met my husband when we were 6. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 654

You deserved it 242

By Sunny - 18/09/2013 22:59 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, every time I write the word "analyst," I can't help but giggle because it begins with "anal." I'm 24, and studying to be a conflict analyst. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 487

You deserved it 34 051

By Anonymous - 08/03/2010 14:35 - United States

Today, I have a rash all over my face because yesterday my boyfriend broke up with me. Apparently, I am allergic to the something in the tissues with which I was blowing my nose and wiping away my tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 596

You deserved it 2 982

By alostr1 - 06/02/2015 17:32 - United States

Today, while in the waiting room at the dentist's, some kids were running and screaming. One of them stopped right beside me, turned to face me, and threw up in my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 473

You deserved it 2 482

By happy bday - 17/09/2010 04:02 - Canada

Today, is my 21st birthday. My friends took me to a bar to celebrate, knowing I don't drink. I am now in charge of driving my friends home after they had an awesome night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 932

You deserved it 9 365

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Top comments

Doortje 29

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Saturday 18 December 2010 19:55

SUE.

bigphill1333 0

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Saturday 18 December 2010 20:04

Show up and kill everyone at work?

Infosys 0

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Saturday 18 December 2010 19:50

Now listen up guys, I want you to guess my age based on no info other than that I screamed first, and of course I have an extremely loose anus due to constantly requesting prostate exams from DocBastard. So, can you do it, can you guess my age?

sexybeastsexybea 0

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Saturday 18 December 2010 19:58

8 or somethin

sourgirl101 28

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Saturday 18 December 2010 20:08

40 year old virgin? Can't be first at anything else?

I_iz_B_a_troll 23

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Saturday 18 December 2010 19:53

dammit.

sexybeastsexybea 0

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Saturday 18 December 2010 20:08

hey if I commented on number ones post and number one was erased, my comment gets erased too?

McMan 23

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Saturday 18 December 2010 20:44

Well from the fact that you keep commenting on the highest up post I'd say you're an attention whore but that's just me :P Also to answer your question yes, yes it does.