Today, I found out my older brother put tanning lotion in the lotion I use to masturbate with. Now I have orange palms and an orange penis which won't go away for weeks. FML
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By
untoward
| 0
well if your masturbating so much, probably no one is seeing your penis anyway
By
katieebabyy
| 0
carrot crotch!
COMMENTS
By
CoolAsian
| 0
first suckas
Reply
Tikwichka
| 5
Not for long, Mr Wolfie!
OP, now you know to hide your wanky paraphernalia.
OP, now you know to hide your wanky paraphernalia.
Reply
mattman1994
| 0
shut up
Reply
bean_dip21
| 0
This us funny.
Reply
Stupified
| 0
op if you have small hands you can tell people snooki gave you a hand job!
Reply
KingDingALing
| 9
Well...I would say that you've been caught red handed but that wouldn't be true, now would it? :D
So you've been caught orange handed, OP!! :p
So you've been caught orange handed, OP!! :p
Reply
MmissyT
| 8
lmfao thtt sukkz urr brothr wins
Reply
alizzette_nabash
| 6
this came from a tv series! lies and slander!!!
Reply
TheIrishJaneDoe
| 8
48, you didn't read the username, did you?
Reply
jaderrrx3
| 0
you must be blind to not notice the color of the lotion. Orrrrr your lotionwas already orange.
but anyway. FYL orange penis dude.
but anyway. FYL orange penis dude.
Reply
skysaresunny
| 0
because it was mixed . jeez . read . they didn't say there was more tanning shit than lotion.
Reply
iHOOT4Hooters
| 0
Just go to Florida beach, walk up to some random group of chicks and say, "Hey ladies, I have some Florida oranges here. Feel free to give them a squeeze, but watch out, orange juice might come out from the orange tree."
Reply
5t3ff1k4h
| 44
95 - Not necessarily. I've used self tanners that started out as a clear (or white) lotion and gradually reacted with my skin to turn it "tan".
Reply
I_iz_special
| 0
102 win lol
Reply
MAGNAVOX
| 0
Ydi for not having a girl that gives you hjs,bjs, and has sex with you.
Reply
KylaaKatastrophe
| 0
This is directed towards 112 :) * clears throat* I have to say being naturally tan wins. No dealing with any type of yucky lotion. ;)
Reply
KingDingALing
| 9
83- Unfortunately, I read it after I posted the comment.., :(
Reply
XxDevilxXGt
| 26
why would you masterbate with with lotion anyway, you fool! :/
Reply
ImaZebraIrl
| 0
You must be so proud #1. You want a cookie (:::)?
Reply
5t3ff1k4h
| 44
142 - I don't use them anymore, and when I did, it was only once or twice. I don't see why your comment should be directed towards me. I'm also happy with my pale skin.
Reply
xmmichelleex
| 0
just put the lotion on ur other hand and tell people ur hands were dry and u thought it was hand cream. dont worrry bout the other part cause no one will prob see that anyway hahaaa
Reply
Brannie
| 4
you're cute :)
just saying =] lol
just saying =] lol
Reply
rasellersjr
| 0
Could be blind... they say it causes that :P
Reply
sixtimessix
| 0
I think the keyword here is "palms" this guy either has tiny hands or an elephant trunk for a penis.
Reply
MetalHead93GB
| 0
144 - unfortunatelly almost every one does, so suck it up (literally) !
Reply
FMLRelapse
| 4
your brothers a dick
Reply
KYLAsaysRAWR
| 0
#142...you and I have the same name :) it's very unusual to find someone with my name; HI!!!
Reply
simonsaysYDI
| 8
144- 99% of the worlds population will admit they masturbate. 1% of the worlds population are liars.
Which are you? =)
Now, go read a book. Everyone knows masturbation is healthy.
Which are you? =)
Now, go read a book. Everyone knows masturbation is healthy.
Reply
madarchod
| 0
144 - then u shud help those single men, they will bless u
Reply
bennyboy111
| 7
y do u need lotion WTF?
Reply
glitchedgamer
| 0
Oompa Loompa Doopity dick
Here's an idea that might do the trick
When you want to go masturbate
Just leave the lotion alone for god's sake
Here's an idea that might do the trick
When you want to go masturbate
Just leave the lotion alone for god's sake
Reply
xxroseyxx
| 0
that's hilarious!
Reply
cheeseonmyburrit
| 0
why would you use lotion that's what your foreskin is for
Reply
Suds29990
| 0
And you don't think maybe his brother might have seen that t.v series and thought, hey now theres an idea?
I love how people seem to think since it's happened before it will never happen again, even if it was just a t.v show or a movie.
I love how people seem to think since it's happened before it will never happen again, even if it was just a t.v show or a movie.
Reply
bbuba
| 0
I'm older than you by 2 weeks.
and nice angel of death
and nice angel of death
Reply
Slagathore
| 0
why is there 2100 that he deserved it and only 700 saying it sucks. so what if he deserved it. it still sucks!!
Reply
progrematic
| 0
Dude... wtf
Reply
AngryNinja
| 1
78's right. This is from Rescue Me. Whether or not OP's lying or OP's brother is a copycat is the real question. Either way, funny as hell. :P
Reply
5t3ff1k4h
| 44
245 - Not every guy has a foreskin.
Reply
KylaaKatastrophe
| 0
157... Oh. I think you took that the wrong way. I didn't intend to insult your paleness.
*Facepalm* Pardon my idiotness.
207... Hello. It is, indeed, unusual to happen upon someone with the name Kyla.. Nice to meet you.
*Facepalm* Pardon my idiotness.
207... Hello. It is, indeed, unusual to happen upon someone with the name Kyla.. Nice to meet you.
Reply
ShatteredDreams8
| 0
230- EPIC WIN!!!
Reply
Trichardson
| 0
don't knock it until you've tried it.
Reply
attatood
| 7
maybe a really dry dick? No precum? Weird. I never need lotion. I put A535 in a buddies vaseline as a prank once though :)
Reply
Zebidee
| 8
Wait until he's asleep, then rub tanning lotion around his mouth. I guarantee he won't say a damn thing about his joke to anyone after that!
Reply
TanyaTwoTits
| 0
Um, most self-tanning lotion isn't tinted. The color appears a few hours after application.
Reply
niggatyrone
| 0
#48, did you happen to read the OP's fucken username?
By
untoward
| 0
well if your masturbating so much, probably no one is seeing your penis anyway
Reply
krushr
| 3
This ^
Reply
StefanG
| 0
Or he masturbated once, but it was so furiously that he ended up permanently "Jersey Shore"-ing his dick
Reply
KiddNYC1O
| 20
#2 ftw
Reply
Mylees
| 0
u crack me up lmfao
Reply
glambert1998
| 0
#30. LMFAO at jersey shoreing
Reply
kalm23
| 0
if fml had a like button like Facebook did I would def be hitting that shit :)
Reply
boopityboppity
| 11
92 must not know what the "thumbs up" button means.
Reply
WJCool
| 0
burnn
Reply
goldenone
| 2
It's the one hand's palm that's the fml you idiot.
Reply
brennboo
| 3
there's no "thumbs up" button on the app for the itouch/iPhone
Reply
omgpotato
| 5
burn man burn
Reply
Brittaneyyy
| 0
#30 win lmaoooo
Reply
kalm23
| 0
thank you, as I use the iPhone I had no idea there was a thumbs up button.. k thanks
Reply
amayaa_fml
| 7
Haha just what I was thinking >:)
Reply
xxkourtneyxx
| 0
lol ftw!
Reply
RainingAcidSkitt
| 0
omg!! win
Reply
bfavrefan4
| 1
hope you dont have a gf or she might mistake you for an oompa loompa
Reply
IeatzurKat
| 3
nice
Reply
jackii007
| 0
hahaha ur my hero for saying that xD
Reply
cod3rEd
| 2
maybe he was trying to masturbate until someone devastated his spank session...
Reply
FYLeveryday
| 0
looks like he has a "situation"
Reply
AssassinsCRB
| 0
#243 i use a iphone too and i see the button?
By
7mood75
| 7
Lucky you
Reply
jakii_
| 0
its not like you get much anyway, OP
i mean, you're a frequent masturbator..
with your special lotion and everything
i mean, you're a frequent masturbator..
with your special lotion and everything
Reply
TheAICore
| 0
oh gosh.. lucky I never seen one before.
Reply
Skiittleez
| 0
how is he lucky? lol having an orange penis isn't lucky. I feel bad for the guy. haha
Reply
sarcasm
By
2riteluvonherarm
| 0
Too many negative votes, comment buried.
Show the comment
Reply
Alexitis1
| 3
ikr !! how would he not notice the difference in color tho? lotion and tan lotion r completely different in colors... haha
Reply
lauralea2010
| 3
actually, ive seen tanning lotion thats white like most other lotions... but it smells completely different than regular lotion lol idk how he didnt notice that
Reply
ChrisCTL
| 0
not only that, but it must be rather embarrassing that his brother knows he jacked off recently, with the orange hands as proof. WIN!
Reply
hahaalolz
| 0
fuck flavored condoms, tanning lotion is all the rage! yum yum.....
By
minty1807
| 9
I agree with untoward XD it shouldn't really bother you too much op ;)
By
katieebabyy
| 0
carrot crotch!
Reply
MissaGirl1
| 9
that's for fingers
Reply
MissaGirl1
| 9
woah there. I meant gingers.
Reply
shocka_fml
| 4
that was a pretty great typo haha
Reply
kitgurl100
| 0
LMFAO
Reply
AaronSeal
| 0
I am actually laughing out loud!
By
MissaGirl1
| 9
fifth
Reply
7mood75
| 7
Yup....
Reply
CoolAsian
| 0
fail
Reply
cuddlee
| 0
Seventh actually
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cuddlee
| 0
Seventh actually
By
Manda_Goes_Rawrr
| 0
fail. ydi for not having a girlfriend(;
Reply
illmatic2
| 16
Because every guy that has a girlfriend gets laid....
Reply
LiL_e7
| 0
;]
Reply
TheWhiteBunny
| 3
TMI
Reply
nikkired
| 0
Mine get laid quite often
Reply
phatdaddy62
| 23
I have a wife and I flog the log. all guys whack it. if they say they don't , they're liars.
Reply
hahaalolz
| 0
#61 ur fuckingg SEXY! id tap that shit ;)
Reply
BethiiGeex
| 0
agreed 247.
Reply
ytgfa
| 0
#8 is hot
Reply
jt525
| 1
wow fkin Brit chick go suck on some teabags. you might as well scream your ass off you fkin screamo fag. Nuff said. and btw, you're really ugly
By
lonesomeXheartbr
| 0
fyl sucks that your penis is gonna go away in a few weeks
Reply
steelersfan78
| 0
^This
Reply
Domonator
| 16
Hands are going too, but with no meat to best, who needs hands?
Reply
Domonator
| 16
not best, I meant "beat"
By
bigbadtim
| 7
Good luck getting a girlfriend now.
Reply
Quidikic
| 9
Pun fail...