Miscellaneous: Today, I found out my dad has a folder full of baby pictures... - FML

By Anonymous - 15/01/2011 14:38 - United States

Today, I found out my dad has a folder full of baby pictures and things that I drew when I was younger, labeled "Shit from when Annie was cute." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 433

You deserved it 3 943

This Charming Man

Pampered

Spreading

NDA FML

By Anonymous - 12/11/2021 16:00 - United States - Corpus Christi

Today, a coworker told me something I didn't realize was confidential, until later when my boss called me, saying someone may have shared something confidential with me, and me, not thinking so, said I don't think anyone did. We hung up, they called back and elaborated, and it dawned on me now they think I'm a liar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 736

You deserved it 137

Check yourself

By Anonymous - 28/10/2014 23:54 - United States

Today, my mom talked to me and my brother about how great it was that our cousin was getting away from drugs and becoming sober, as he would have so many more opportunities opened up for him now. She explained all this while sitting on our patio, smoking a blunt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 457

You deserved it 3 847

By Anonymous - 18/11/2009 11:47 - Denmark

Today, I got the flu. Feeling really sick and depressed, I called my boyfriend to get some comfort. When he didn't answer his cell, I called his house, only to hear his mother telling me "he was so sad that we broke up." I didn't know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 524

You deserved it 2 475

By blacklove - 12/02/2010 20:19 - United States

Today, I got a rose from my boyfriend. The card read, "It's over." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 506

You deserved it 2 695

By Niquesha - 23/04/2011 23:56 - United States

Today, while trying on an outfit in the dressing room at the mall, I got locked in. I decided to take 5 minutes to try and get out by crawling under the door. After I got out, I realized I left my cell phone, my purse and my pants inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 927

You deserved it 34 554

By spasticock - 19/08/2012 18:09 - Portugal - Barreiro

Today, I climbed the tree in my backyard so I could cut off some stray branches. I ended up getting stuck, and instead of immediately getting help, my wife started laughing and recording me. The video is now circulating on Facebook, and my new nickname is "Hawkeye." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 311

You deserved it 3 649

Clever girl.

By Anonymous - 12/10/2017 23:15

Today, I made a cup of coffee for a lovely old lady on the dementia ward. She asked for quite a lot of sugar in her drink, but I didn't question it. The moment I gave her the coffee, she threw it all over me. While scalding my skin, it also stuck to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 197

You deserved it 240

City boy

By Anonymous - 29/06/2021 00:01

Today, my boyfriend realised that I’m from the part of Louisiana where we hunt gators for food, and dumped me because he doesn’t want to be a city boy who ends up fathering redneck kids, and having to sail through swamps to visit the in-laws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 944

You deserved it 148

Anticlimax

By Anonymous - 27/11/2021 22:01 - United States - Odenville

Spicy

Today, a guy drove an hour and a half to get to where I live, only to literally last less than 30 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 040

You deserved it 211

Cover up

By atsukobo - 02/11/2020 22:59 - United States

Today, after a nasty fight with my military husband, which resulted in mandatory marriage counseling, he told me we needed to talk about the fight. Not talk it over and apologize; talk it over so our stories are consistent when we see the therapist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 292

You deserved it 154

By marray - 23/07/2018 12:46 - United States - Aurora

Today, I received a grade of 0 for a paper I worked really hard on. When I emailed my professor for feedback, she told me she gave me a 0 because I misspelled Colombia as "Columbia" and that she's not responsible for my low IQ. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 874

You deserved it 612

By banana2894 - 10/08/2012 04:40 - United States - Eugene

Today, I looked over at the car parked next to me and noticed a very large woman plucking her mustache. She locked eyes with me and kept plucking. After that, every time I looked over, she was still staring. Staring and plucking. Now when I close my eyes, I can still see her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 504

You deserved it 3 464

By Anonymous - 24/04/2015 17:39 - Qatar - Doha

Today, my boss's incompetent, lazy son got another raise. He only started working here five months ago. Since then he's been promoted twice and given a Bentley as a company car. All this while company profits are in the shitter and the rest of us are facing a wave of layoffs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 160

You deserved it 2 062

By DemCherries - 28/03/2017 15:00 - United States - Overland Park

Today, at my job as a police officer, I had to arrest my own girlfriend for having sex at Walmart. She tried to get me to let her out on the grounds of being "pretty" and dating me. She wants to continue the relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 116

You deserved it 545

By Sailorjoe - 25/08/2009 01:45 - United States

Today, I had to take out the trash at work and I kept trying to throw it in the dumpster. After five tries I finally made it in. I was feeling pretty good since the bag was heavy. That was until I turned around and saw about 30 of my coworkers applauding and laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 504

You deserved it 7 250

He prefers the dog

By Anonymous - 19/11/2019 14:00

Today, my boyfriend kicked me out of bed so the dog could get under the covers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 885

You deserved it 337

By Anonymous - 04/09/2009 04:31 - Canada

Today, a customer came in who only spoke Spanish. I speak Spanish rather well so I helped the customer. She ended up buying $2300 worth of stuff. I got written up because not speaking English apparently "has the potential be offensive to other customers if they are not able to understand you". FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 049

You deserved it 3 488

By Barrel - 05/02/2009 07:57 - United States

Spicy

Today, my wife left me the following voicemail: “Alex, last night was amazing. You took me to places I’ve never been to before. I can’t wait to see you tonight after work.” My name is Rob. We haven’t had sex in two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 594

You deserved it 9 016

By sucks - 05/01/2011 07:41 - Netherlands

Today, my boss walked in and said something I didn't quite hear, but my co-worker chuckled so to be polite, I laughed with him. They gave me some weird looks. My boss was actually talking about his wife's tumor and my co-worker was coughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 744

You deserved it 34 486

By Anonymous - 09/11/2015 00:18 - Netherlands

Today, after months of Tinder-ing, first dates and being rejected, I finally was able to hook up with a girl. We met, we kissed, we danced and I took her back to my place. She then promptly tried to make out with my roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 149

You deserved it 3 146

Fake plates

By Blake - 02/11/2021 03:59 - Mexico - Mexico

Today, I received a traffic ticket by mail, presumably for speeding. Not a big deal, if my car hadn't been totalled three months ago. My driver's license is expired, too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 829

You deserved it 101

By evilplatypus - 11/02/2019 14:00 - United States - Cromwell

Today, after talking to my psychiatrist about a delusion I have - that I know is a delusion but simply can’t shake - he started frowning and pulled out the DSM-V. After thumbing through it for a while he looks at me and says, “That’s not in here.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 113

You deserved it 170

By theRoomie - 02/11/2009 06:47 - United States

Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 724

You deserved it 2 821

By RWW - 28/07/2010 17:38 - United States

Today, at work, I was talking to a customer. She kept shaking her head "no" at everything I said. I asked what she was disagreeing with. She told me she has Parkinson's Disease, teared up, and asked to speak to my manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 540

You deserved it 7 480

You've got some explaining to do

By Anonymous - 19/11/2020 23:01

Today, my boyfriend accidentally synced his contacts to my phone. I'm not sure who I want to message first, "Amber (Big Ass)", "Kayla (Baby Girl)", or one of the other 64 with similar descriptions in parentheses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 257

You deserved it 96

By Syferix - 18/03/2009 22:42 - United States

Today, I was leaving to go over to a friend's and my parents suddenly ask if I'm gay. I reply that no, I'm bisexual. My mom then asks if I've ever made out with someone of the same sex and I say yes. She turns to my dad and says 'I told you so. You owe me $20'. My parents bet on my sexuality. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110 517

You deserved it 27 014

By Anonymous - 02/02/2011 14:30 - United States

Today, I was eating breakfast at an IHOP. As I was eating, the old man sitting directly behind me started discussing every aspect of his spastic colon, in vivid detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 157

You deserved it 3 004

By bandit99999 - 19/08/2011 18:59 - United States

Today, to keep my phone safe while I went on some rides, I took it out of my pocket so I could put it in my bag. Just as I pulled it out, a woman ran into me, knocking my phone to the ground and breaking the screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 987

You deserved it 2 841

Our house, in the middle of our street

By Anonymous - 27/03/2021 20:59 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I realized I could say nothing in my home without being interrupted, talked over, or the subject derailed into a 30 minutes monologue by my housemates. And they wonder why I'm so quiet all the time… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 356

You deserved it 157

By automaticfail_00 - 17/06/2009 23:27 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was on the phone with my best friend who lives out of town. He was strangely quiet. Later that day I asked him why he didn't talk much. He admitted he was jacking off to the sound of my voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 940

You deserved it 5 033

By fu2then - 09/03/2010 06:04 - Canada

Today, I ran into my manipulative ex-boyfriend at a party. We were chatting and I mentioned that the guys I have been seeing lately all turn out to be jerks. He says "yeah well you dumped me and don't deserve to be happy." Apparently he has been creeping and scaring off any guys interested in me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 524

You deserved it 4 097

By jasminejzhu - 14/04/2013 09:58 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, after an exhausting weekend of work, I decided to take a nap. I was awoken several hours later by my mother-in-law knocking on my door. Apparently my 11-year-old called up grandma to complain that she was hungry and that mum was sleeping instead of cooking dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 945

You deserved it 11 650

By kaytiebobaytie - 24/01/2010 18:30 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend. We were driving to his hockey game and he was joking around about throwing my favorite hoodie out of his window. While swinging it around, my brand new iPhone flew out of the pocket and the window, getting run over by a car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 371

You deserved it 7 733

Stability

By Terrible Boss - 18/09/2019 02:04 - United States

Today, I fired all 12 of my employees, purely out of anger and frustration. Realizing my mistake when I'd calmed down, I called each employee and apologized, asking if they'd come back. Only one said yes. The mailroom clerk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375

You deserved it 6 319

Through the wall

By Jeynna - 08/05/2021 00:01

Today, I bumped into my next door neighbor. She said, "Not for nothing, but I heard you fighting with your boyfriend last night, you're pretty harsh on him." I don't have a boyfriend, I was just drunk and castigating myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 476

You deserved it 729

By Meg - 17/10/2018 15:30

Today, we moved 2,700 miles across the U.S. to better our lives, with job offers and home options lined up. All of them were given to other people or turned out to be scams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 017

You deserved it 557

By voltronn - 23/01/2010 05:04 - France

Today, I had to lie to my boyfriend about having plans on tonight so he'd think I had a life outside of him. All my "friends" are going to a party. I'm not invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 945

You deserved it 6 940

By Ella - 05/07/2011 11:48 - Australia

Today, I tried to talk to my boyfriend about our communication problems. He fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 182

You deserved it 7 575

By pass_the_tp - 13/01/2010 02:57 - United States

Today, I was at the movie theatre. I went to the bathroom, and was about to wipe my butt when I realized that where the toilet-paper dispenser should have been, there was a large hole. The woman in the next stall waved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 248

You deserved it 5 506

By CutePenguin - 17/03/2012 22:26 - Canada

Today, I returned to my university residence following spring break. I was greeted by a letter stating I'd been caught on camera vandalising a wall repair. At the time in question, I was asleep on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The REZ coordinator is avoiding me, and I can't clear my name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 663

You deserved it 2 045

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Top comments

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Saturday 15 January 2011 19:46

It could be worse OP, mine is labelled "Least favourite child".

aback 4

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Saturday 15 January 2011 19:43

Be glad you're not a puppy. Your ass would be at the pound.

Comments

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Saturday 15 January 2011 19:33

penis

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Saturday 15 January 2011 20:02

Hey it could have been worse, the folder could have been labeled "shit from when Annie was fuckable"

I_iz_B_a_troll 23

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Saturday 15 January 2011 21:28

Annie, are you OK Are you OK Are you OK, Annie Annie, are you OK You OK Are you OK, Annie Annie, are you OK You OK You OK, Annie Annie, are you OK You OK Are you OK, Annie

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Saturday 15 January 2011 19:38

#1 must be gay, thanks for sharing

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Saturday 15 January 2011 19:38

damn

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Sunday 16 January 2011 1:42

Agree with that! Annie are you ok? So, Annie are you ok? poor OP

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Sunday 16 January 2011 4:06

Smooth Criminal Win!!!!! :D

LOLOLOLOLOLOL123 2

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Sunday 16 January 2011 8:02

#3 looks like a fat justin bieber.

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Sunday 16 January 2011 9:45

u shouldn't be talking about looks...

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Sunday 16 January 2011 11:11

not gonna lie... this FML is pretty damn hilarious

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Sunday 16 January 2011 12:33

one must hope her name is actually Anna

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Sunday 16 January 2011 12:35

or Annie

WallyTheWombat 0

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Sunday 16 January 2011 13:42

Well go back to being cute then.

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Monday 8 August 2011 21:14

well he maybe he means, you WERE cute but now you're pretty?

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Tuesday 13 March 2012 3:04

You should make a folder called "Shit from when Dad was young".

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Saturday 15 January 2011 19:39

he's a man.... that's probably not something you should look into too much.

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Sunday 16 January 2011 0:16

Sexist pig!!

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Sunday 16 January 2011 0:39

it's not sexist, it's reality.

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Sunday 16 January 2011 0:41

Well aren't you just a little lost duckling.

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Sunday 16 January 2011 1:16

oh so I guess saying fat girls are ALL ugly, and it's just reality huh? Bitch.

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Sunday 16 January 2011 1:50

No need for hostility.

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Sunday 16 January 2011 2:15

hostility brought! I think brunettes on FML are ugly, have no personality and tiny A cups

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Sunday 16 January 2011 2:34

am I supposed to be bothered that you don't think brunettes are attractive on fml? I really don't care nor do I believe I'm being sexist. If you want to take it that way then fine, I'm just saying a man is not going to write some cute & sweet if there's a chance for someone else to see it.

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Sunday 16 January 2011 2:49

52, not true.

Bosia 0

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Sunday 16 January 2011 6:25

#4 is quite correct, I once write a poem for a girlfriend with the sweetest line being, 'You need to shave'. Now, if that doesn't scream "REALITY", I don't know what does!

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Sunday 16 January 2011 7:08

chill 4 is just a women

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Sunday 16 January 2011 9:41

You're terribly mistaken, nikkibeez. Source: Myself, man.

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Sunday 16 January 2011 10:20

I agree with 62, let it go 4 is just a women. She knows nothing.

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Sunday 16 January 2011 10:29

>_> <_< ..................... Woman*

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Sunday 16 January 2011 12:04

I joked btw people

WallyTheWombat 0

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Sunday 16 January 2011 13:39

Psh and you guys all yourselves "men". MEN wouldn't let a WOMAN'S opinion bother them. I don't care if you're throwing the whole "when women stereotype men it's feminism and when men stereotype women it's sexism" standard in her face. Let them have that one. Us men have: man with lots of women = stud woman with lots if men = slut (Feminism view:) Man of any kind = pig Woman with lots of men = empowered And before anyone else says it, a key that opens a lot of locks is a master key but a lock that is opened by many keys is a shitty lock.

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Sunday 16 January 2011 18:01

Wow, that was really sexist, and I'm not even a feminist. =/ Just because I'm a woman, that means my opinion isn't valid? The examples you gave are extreme, ridiculous ideas,and I agree. But not all women are feminists, and it isn't right for you to judge us all because you know some women out there who are feminists. It is not a feminist view to see a woman as a human being who is capable of intelligent thought. It is a sexist view, however, to suggest that men aren't "men" because they not only let a woman have an opinion, but let her voice it, and then have a debate with her about it. I'm sorry, dude, but you're wrong here.

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Sunday 16 January 2011 18:05

Just so you know, this was before I read nikkibeez's comment, which WAS sexist, sorry. Not all men lack the capacity to be sweet and nice. Some actually are quite good at it. Some are bad at it. The ones that are bad at it =/= all men. However, my point still stands. Women still deserve opinions. :)

WallyTheWombat 0

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Monday 17 January 2011 5:34

I know women have valid opinions and not all man-hating lesbians. I was trying to sound ignorant like #4.

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Monday 17 January 2011 6:09

Bitch, make me a fucking sammich

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Monday 17 January 2011 6:14

overreact much?

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Monday 17 January 2011 7:35

Yeah, I guess I did, lol. I was in an argumentative, "I'm going to get offended" mood. Sorry! :)

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Saturday 15 January 2011 19:40

That sucks :(

aback 4

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Saturday 15 January 2011 19:43

Be glad you're not a puppy. Your ass would be at the pound.

LightningLadyy 0

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Saturday 15 January 2011 21:38

Haha poor ugly Annie :P

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Monday 25 March 2013 1:57

How nice of #38...

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Monday 25 March 2013 2:07

#31*

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Saturday 15 January 2011 19:46

It could be worse OP, mine is labelled "Least favourite child".

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Saturday 15 January 2011 19:54

LMAO. Well that sucks

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Sunday 16 January 2011 1:34

haha this post was funnier than the FML

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Monday 16 July 2012 19:55

I'm sorry, but that me lol. I'm sorry:(

I_iz_B_a_troll 23

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Saturday 15 January 2011 19:46

Well op, no ones ever as cute as an adult as they were a baby(: sucks but that's life for ya!

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Saturday 11 August 2012 20:20

I don't think people can get back to that initial cuteness from when they were a baby

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Saturday 15 January 2011 19:46

Well, on the brightside...He once cared about you right?

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Saturday 15 January 2011 23:02

thats true

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Wednesday 2 May 2012 6:02

At least he didn't throw the drawings away.

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Saturday 15 January 2011 19:47

hey, at least he thought you were cute at some point!

starrs_movingIn 0

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Saturday 15 January 2011 23:02

ironically, I have a friend in NC whose name is Annie...& I believe her dad would do something like this...HAHAHA

Nearly

Today, it has been 7 years of me submitting FML’s. I don’t know what worse, that I’ve submitted so many of that none have never been featured. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21

You deserved it 13

Today, I spent my 25th birthday crying alone in my room with my baby, because no else seemed to care it was my birthday. My partner and I had a fight the night before and we haven’t spoken or seen each other since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59

You deserved it 17

Spicy

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend has spent all morning claiming there’s nothing to do when it’s raining outside. Sex is always an option, but he’s missed all my hints, including stripping naked and kissing him, because he thought I was on my way to get a shower instead of trying to fuck him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9

You deserved it 14

Today, I found out I’m going to be a father, twice over, with two different women. Sisters, in fact. Only one of those sisters is my wife. Should I flee abroad, or walk calmly towards the firing squad straight away? FML

I agree, your life sucks 126

You deserved it 2 409