By grossed the f out - 13/12/2010 05:01
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Wow. FYL. And FyourmothersL. But there is something terribly wrong with 'boyfriend of two years' and 'father of my son'.
Much better? I'm already dying of irritation when a couple has decided that two years of dating is already enough to get married (jeej for the high divorce rating!). But yes, alright, a child in a loving relationship is better than one from a one-night stand, but I doubt the relationship is now still loving. Having a baby with a creep, splendid. Get to know each other before fornicating, that's my humble opinion. And I doubt OP's biological clock was ticking, my guess is that she's in her twenties. And her boyfriend is in the creep-stadium.
Nothing. 'the length of time before you get married has little to do with whether or not the marriage will last. it's the amount of effort each person puts into making the marriage work that counts the most' I miss the 'love' part in your explanation. It's all about love and the effort you're willing to spend. But be honest, the high divorce rating is there for a reason. My guess is that the marriage doesn't end well for most people who marry too soon. How good can you know each other after 10 months? I read somewhere that most split-ups happen in relationships of 2 years. So I would still recommend 3 years of dating or being engaged, before marrying. That's just my vision.
My parents moved in together after 4 months of being a couple and married within 8. They have been together 25 years. They are not unique. I'd apportion high divorce rates more to our fast paced culture in modern society rather than the length of time people date before marriage. People expect all public and commercial services to be delivered seamlessly, instantly and exactly to their specifications. Whilst for example utilities and transport can be ordered to near perfection, I think many individuals fail to recognise that personal relationships and life in general cannot be manipulated to this extent. It seems to me that too many people nowadays are too lazy or unwilling to put enough effort into their personal issues. I believe divorce rates are high because it is easier to give up than to persevere in a difficult time in a marriage. I'm not disregarding your opinion that it is important to know your partner before making a lifetime commitment, but high divorce rates are also going to be boosted by our changing western culture. Unlike in the 1950s is not now shameful to be a divorcee. The average family now includes step brothers, sisters, and half siblings in a much more fluid model. To suggest that the length of time a couple spends together before marriage determines the longevity of the union is quite narrow minded in such a multi factoral subject.
Jup, I agree completely. But I can't help it, I always start rolling with my eyes whenever I read 'married at less than two years of dating'. You should know each other perfectly before making a (hopefully) lifetime commitment. The only reason I can think of why people can't wait a couple of years before marrying, is because of their belief in abstinence. And that is such a wrong reason for a marriage. And otherwise, why wouldn't you wait some years? Why would you rush? If he/she really is the one, those years doesn't matter.