Health: Today, I found out my anti-depressants are super-effective. So... - FML

By full bladder - 28/04/2015 22:39 - United States - Valrico

Today, I found out my anti-depressants are super-effective. So effective, they affect things they aren't even supposed to. Like my ability to pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 868

You deserved it 2 346

And today, on Dr Phil…

Our house, in the middle of our street

Money management

By Anonymous - 17/01/2015 00:37 - United States - Mantua

Today, I told my dog to give me the stick he had in his mouth so I could throw it for him. After I picked it up I realized it was a dried-out piece of shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 862

You deserved it 13 229

Unloveable

By Anonymous - 16/01/2021 23:01

Today, I was paired up with a girl in my class for a project. She started crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 889

You deserved it 73

By Vandrefalk - 01/03/2012 00:09 - Norway

Today, I got myself an organ donor card, just to feel wanted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 898

You deserved it 5 350

Victim blaming

By Anonymous - 28/08/2014 21:16 - Portugal

Today, my demented little sister walked up to me and kicked me between the legs. I told my parents, but they just accusingly asked me what I did to provoke her. When I said, "Nothing", they accused me of lying. There is no justice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 042

You deserved it 3 471

By GlowInTheDark - 09/12/2011 07:41 - Australia

Today, I told my boyfriend about how a few years ago I had cancer, and how I underwent radiation therapy. His response? "Did you glow in the dark?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 598

You deserved it 3 946

Panic

By Danger Dave - 21/12/2020 04:58

Today, it's been almost 24 hours since my wife bent down and couldn't get back up. After laying in bed all day in agony with a bad back, an ambulance was called. She still currently can't stand in the hospital. I have two kids to look after and am supposed to be in work tomorrow. I have no idea what to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 161

You deserved it 398

By tsukinoie - 02/02/2014 06:33 - United States

Today, I invited my best friend to sleep on my couch while he looks for a new place. He walked inside, dropped his stuff on the floor and asked me my policy on hookers. I laughed it off as a joke. Half an hour later my doorbell rang. He took my laughter as a yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 551

You deserved it 6 842

My little boy

By Anonymous - 16/04/2021 00:30

Today, my 12 year-old son came home with two broken arms after finding an awesome place to ride his bike. He found a sweet jump and his handlebars broke. He's currently in slings and waiting for an appointment with a surgeon, the breaks were so bad, the hospital couldn't reset them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 009

You deserved it 76

By Anonymous - 05/05/2012 07:08 - United States

Today, it was my wedding. Everyone showed up, except my fiancé. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 236

You deserved it 3 205

By DrugsRX - 17/10/2012 22:58 - United States - Winder

Today, for the second day in a row, I was constantly abused, yelled at, insulted, and berated by my wife for "endangering our child's life." I took her to the doctor for a vaccination and flu shot yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 088

You deserved it 3 857

By Walk of Shame - 13/11/2018 22:00

Today, my boyfriend, who is also my boss, was giving me a blowjob at work. Halfway through, his boss knocked on the door and I had to quickly get dressed and slip out the other door. After leaving, I realized that I was still barefoot and I had to walk back to my desk in front of my colleagues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 436

You deserved it 5 863

By southernluxe - 04/09/2011 09:36 - United States

Spicy

Today, I got my first handjob. She ripped out a pube. It hurt so bad my eyes teared up. She asked what was wrong and not wanting to make her feel guilty I had to tell her it was "Just so good." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 804

You deserved it 10 579

By notsoonenufdeparted - 02/10/2010 05:07 - United States

Today, my four-year-old asked me when I was going to die. I replied "Not for a long time, why?" He looked at me and stated "Because I only want to live with Daddy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 201

You deserved it 4 788

By Anonymous - 17/10/2009 16:26 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around when he accidentally elbowed me in the eye and I couldn't see. He rolled over, turned on the football game, and told me to just walk upstairs and get ice. He also added that he would like a coke while I am up there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 863

You deserved it 5 284

Creepy

By bam.93 - 14/04/2020 17:00

Today, my supervisor asked me to help him for some modifications on an Excel sheet. I helped him for some stuff, but couldn't help him completely. He said to me, " Try to learn more about Excel, I want someone to satisfy my needs." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 520

You deserved it 198

By oops... - 12/09/2014 05:50 - Canada - Sylvan Lake

Today, my daughter was going to Bulk Barn so I asked her to pick me up something to snack on. When she got home, she brought over a bag and without listening to her explain what it was, I began eating it. She looked at me confused, then began laughing. It was a dog treat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 543

You deserved it 29 532

Definitely confusing

By Anonymous - 05/10/2021 10:00 - United States

Today, I lost my job, neither by quitting or getting fired. I don't know whether to be mad or confused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 751

You deserved it 66

By shinymcface - 19/11/2018 14:00

Today, I went to the bathroom at work and there was a reed diffuser placed on the tank of the toilet. As I sat down, my hair knocked it off and the reed diffuser landed behind me, spilling the scented oil into my butt crack and vagina, burning me completely. I only had to work 6 more hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 855

You deserved it 274

By momac86 - 19/01/2015 06:34 - United States

Today, I lost a sewing needle in the carpet. No worries, my big toe found it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 112

You deserved it 4 195

By ReallyMom - 09/01/2014 21:48 - United States - Shawano

Spicy

Today, my mom tried giving me the sex talk. Her version of "the talk" consisted of making me watch videos of guys jacking off and reassuring me that "it's natural." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 550

You deserved it 5 179

By Anonymous - 31/12/2013 08:08 - United States - Seattle

Today, I got an e-mail regarding an IT support job I applied to. The e-mail had numerous formatting errors due to bad code, and typos all over the place. It said I wasn't qualified for the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 766

You deserved it 3 286

By dumbass - 15/12/2010 03:00 - United States

Today, I got into my first car accident. I hit my own parked car while trying to drive my mother's car into the garage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 858

You deserved it 27 011

By Anonymous - 14/03/2012 19:31 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was masturbating, and out of the corner of my eye I saw a figure. It was my neighbor staring at me through the window with a total look of disgust. I moved in this weekend and hadn't yet introduced myself to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 819

You deserved it 32 935

Basic Instinct

By too proud to beg - 23/09/2020 02:02

Spicy

Today, I told my husband that it makes me feel unattractive and undesirable that I’m the only one to ever initiate intimacy. Not just sex, but also basic affection like hugging and kissing. His response? "Oh." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 125

You deserved it 220

Bass, how low can you go?

By Anonymous - 06/10/2020 02:02

Today, I tried to study for my upcoming engineering exam. The class I’m in is notorious for being incredibly difficult and is oftentimes the reason for people dropping out of the major. Too bad the dudes in the apartment next to me have a subwoofer and keep playing music that has way too much bass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 012

You deserved it 86

By Benji - 22/01/2009 12:06 - France

Today, my 19 year old girlfriend dumped me because she thinks I'm immature. I'm 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 508

You deserved it 65 157

By Anonymous - 12/01/2016 21:03 - United States - Newport

Today, my father contacted me for the first time in years to ask about my upcoming wedding and possibly walking me down the aisle. He claimed the only reason he left was because he thought I'd be gay. I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 756

You deserved it 2 151

Thanks, "Mom"

By thafinest - 12/10/2009 23:32 - United States

Today, I received a call from a collection agency. Since I had no clue, I was ready to file a police report for stolen identity. I then called my mom only to find out she has been opening new credit cards with my information for 3 years and not paying them. My credit is ruined and I'm only 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 534

You deserved it 2 266

Talk about not getting the picture…

By Anonymous - 28/02/2017 19:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I finally worked up the courage to break up with my boyfriend. His parents weren't able to pick him up for 5 hours. I ended up taking him to a movie to kill time and end on a positive note, but now he thinks we're cool and back on track. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 394

You deserved it 1 988

Betrayal!

By Anonymous - 23/05/2010 05:32 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my best friend of 10 years told me she had slept with a man who had a girlfriend. I told her that it wasn't that bad. She then informed me that it was my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 820

You deserved it 10 378

By Anonymous - 15/10/2010 22:52 - United States

Today, my mother gave me an early Christmas present; a Bissell mop so I can "do a better job" when I "clean her floors". FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 933

You deserved it 3 950

By dumped - 05/06/2011 05:17 - United States

Today, my five year old daughter asked me what a divorce was. When I asked why she wanted to know, she replied with "Daddy wants one. He says you can have me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 890

You deserved it 4 151

By ilikemusicokay - 08/08/2009 05:04 - United States

Today, I was going to the bathroom at work. Since I knew it would take a while, I brought my iPod in for entertainment. To bad it disabled me from hearing the continuous knocks on the door as well as the manager eventually picking the lock and busting in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 568

You deserved it 46 479

By Anonymous - 23/11/2014 12:52 - United Kingdom

Today, my grandpa came into my room and asked for a pen. As I gave it to him, he let rip the foulest fart I've ever smelled in my life, and walked out without a word. 2 hours later, the smell is not only still there, it's filled the room. Looks like I'm sleeping downstairs on the couch tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 248

You deserved it 2 970

By chickenshit4 - 15/05/2016 00:57 - United States - Pine Ridge

Spicy

Today, my 43 year old mother came home covered in hickeys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 148

You deserved it 3 039

By CaptainFluffyPaw - 29/06/2015 01:59 - United States - San Francisco

Today, a customer complained about me for getting their order wrong. This would have been fine if they hadn't sent their ten-year-old kid to order for them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 705

You deserved it 1 853

By stixx - 25/10/2009 17:18 - United States

Today, I got a new cat. I tried to reenact the opening scene from Lion King, where in Simba gets held up for everyone to see. The fan was on when I lifted my cat up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 689

You deserved it 75 376

By somebody - 08/06/2012 23:13 - United States - Lexington Park

Today, when I was laying in my bed, I looked on the opposite side and saw a spider the size of my palm staring at me. And if that wasn't bad, I found out it hops. I still can't find it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 285

You deserved it 2 066

No Ragerts

By "Sonofaquiche" - 07/05/2017 00:00

Today, after a night of drinking, I woke up in the hospital with a broken coccyx. Apparently, my drunk self came to the glorious conclusion that it would be a good idea to cannonball into a puddle while screaming "POOLPARTYYYY!" at the top of my lungs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 080

You deserved it 5 607

By I keep failing it all - 02/06/2013 19:45 - Lithuania - Vilnius

Today, my dad found the Father's Day present that I spent at least ten hours preparing and decorating. I'd expected him to be extremely happy about this lovely gift. His only reaction was to ask if he could exchange it for something else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 855

You deserved it 3 934

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Wednesday 29 April 2015 9:34

Well, on the bright side, you can devote all that time spent not peeing to being not depressed :D But seriously, call your doctor ASAP. Anti-depressants can have all sorts of weird side effects; I took one that made me forget an entire day. I aced a test, attended and participated in several classes, and finished two major homework assignments, but when I woke up the next morning I thought it was still Monday.

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Wednesday 29 April 2015 9:37

Same happened here. Only, it wouldn't let me doo doo. Change meds, asap. Good luck, OP.

Comments

negb 30

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Wednesday 29 April 2015 9:28

It could be a side effect of the medication you're on. You can always try different ones that will actually let you pee :p

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Wednesday 29 April 2015 9:40

I think OP is having the opposite problem... It seems as if they can't control their bladder and constantly pee, from what I'm reading...

darksouls4life 8

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Wednesday 29 April 2015 10:42

To #13 if you look at the name posted its full bladder; which probably means they can't go to the bathroom. At the same time though I could see how it could be full often. idk just my thoughts

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Wednesday 29 April 2015 11:08

@13 - My meds do that to me. I can't sit through an hour-long television program without using the bathroom, and my ADHD meds dehydrate me so fast that I need to constantly drink water, which makes me overshoot how much I actually need. ??? LIFE PLS, give me a break!

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Wednesday 29 April 2015 22:57

You could be right #1 - especially as the op stated that it was the anti-depressants affecting her bladder right in the fml! :(

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Thursday 30 April 2015 2:52

seriously, why is this downvoted? it makes sense

incoherentrmblr 21

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Thursday 30 April 2015 20:27

Well, at least you're not full of sh**...

adamo_erebus 26

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Saturday 2 May 2015 23:30

Some antidepressants have this side effect. I'm not sure about the US brand names, but in Australia, Endep (amitriptyline) can cause this, as well as a dry mouth and dry eyes. So I agree with the original comment, you should speak with your doctor to switch meds to one that won't have that side effect.

leng 3

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Wednesday 29 April 2015 9:29

Please do tell your physician about it if it's really bothering you. it's the side effect.

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Wednesday 29 April 2015 9:31

Clearly, you're supposed to cure your depression with golden showers

man_in_black08 28

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Wednesday 29 April 2015 9:31

Looks like the anti-depressants are gonna make u depressed after all, if your situation doesnt change! Stay strong and get medical help soon, OP! Good luck!

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Wednesday 29 April 2015 9:32

I hope they are at least doing their intended job as well! Either way, you should probably talk to the doctor. Good luck, op.

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Wednesday 29 April 2015 9:33

did you have too much?

Cads1 24

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Wednesday 29 April 2015 9:33

Is a smaller dose available?

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Wednesday 29 April 2015 9:34

Well, on the bright side, you can devote all that time spent not peeing to being not depressed :D But seriously, call your doctor ASAP. Anti-depressants can have all sorts of weird side effects; I took one that made me forget an entire day. I aced a test, attended and participated in several classes, and finished two major homework assignments, but when I woke up the next morning I thought it was still Monday.

AnOriginalName 19

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Wednesday 29 April 2015 10:43

So it made you productive and focused as well. I need some of that.

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Wednesday 29 April 2015 13:23

Care to hook a buddy up on some smarticle pills?

SystemofaBlink41 27

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Wednesday 29 April 2015 16:17

That sounds like some Limitless shit.

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Wednesday 29 April 2015 17:35

But you are lelouch , you need no pills

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Thursday 21 May 2015 16:48

What antidepressants are you on? Mine aren't working

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Wednesday 29 April 2015 9:35

I suppose a full bladder is better than a constantly empty one.

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Wednesday 29 April 2015 13:53

How?

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Wednesday 29 April 2015 15:33

Would you rather constantly be pissing yourself?

MalcolmRodrigues 9

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Thursday 30 April 2015 5:28

Out of control pee pee. That's not cool.

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Wednesday 29 April 2015 9:37

Same happened here. Only, it wouldn't let me doo doo. Change meds, asap. Good luck, OP.

Brandi_Faith 33

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Thursday 30 April 2015 17:58

I had a medication that affected my peeing as well. I could pee but I had to sit there and really concentrate to do it. Kind of sucked.

Nearly

Today, my maid sat me down to tell me that she doesn’t like it when me and my partner fight. We don’t like each other anymore and I keep trying to break up with him, but he won’t let me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

Today, I was diagnosed with anorexia. My mother still keeps on calling me a fat fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41

You deserved it 4

Spicy

Spicy

Today, at the age of 25, I learned that it is not normal to have absolutely zero sexual desire. All this time, I thought you had to have sex first before developing a sex drive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76

You deserved it 13

Today, my college fuck buddy started sending my wife our dirty chat logs. Not only have I not spoken to her in years, but the logs are time/date stamped from when Obama was still President. She's never met my wife and I have no idea what she hopes to get out of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 090

You deserved it 143