By ShanghaiSam - China - Shanghai
Today, I found out half of the staff at work have been spreading rumours I'm sleeping with my boss. The other half are spreading rumours I'm sleeping with my subordinate. In reality, every night I go home to an apartment so empty that I don't even have condiments, to sleep alone. FML
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By  Mike_Oxhard  |  14

Your only option now is to actually sleep with your boss and your subordinate. Everyone already thinks it's true and you're lonely, so no damage done. Except if either of them have a wife, then you should keep it hush-hush.