Today, I found my husband in the bathtub, which was filled with... - FML

By TuT - 19/9/2014 17:58 - France

Today, I found my husband in the bathtub, which was filled with blood-red water, motionless and staring blankly at the ceiling. I started screaming and crying, and he burst into laughter at his "hilarious" prank. He only seemed regretful that his video camera hadn't been recording properly. FML

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Serious times

Out of it

Boozehound alert

By Anonymous - 12/3/2016 14:13 - United Kingdom - Neath

Today, after struggling to get something out of my eye, I kept my eye open long so it would start to water. My mother in law noticed and said, "Aww, do you need a therapist again?" She knows full well I struggle with chronic depression. FML

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By mommabuser - 1/7/2012 15:59

Today, my daughter's hamster pulled the water bottle off the glass, so I decided to super-glue the bottle back on. We came back an hour later to see if it had stuck, only to find both the bottle and rodent glued to the glass. FML

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By overlandparkmommie - 14/5/2009 21:09 - United States

Today, I was so totally stressed out at work that I took my car into the park and reclined my seat and shut my eyes. Soon I noticed the soothing sounds of raindrops on my car and I felt a little better for once. I opened my eyes to see that a bunch of birds had crapped all over my car. FML

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By Sad bitch - 18/6/2018 19:00

Today, I realized why my lavender products were no longer helping me calm down. I use lavender so much when I'm anxious that I've associated the smell with anxiety. FML

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By mrboston - 1/9/2009 23:44 - United States

Today, my college roommate whom I've never met moved in. Good thing I wasn't completely naked, playing with myself on the couch when he walked in. That would've been awkward. FML

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By Anonymous - 29/3/2013 17:13 - United States - Lakeland

Today, while on the way to Florida for spring break, I pointed out to my mom a bright blue car in the rear-view mirror. As the car overtook us, we both got a horrifyingly detailed view of the driver jerking off her passenger. FML

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By doesntkissalot - 28/8/2010 16:19 - United States

Today, I was watching TV when a Dentyne gum commercial came on and stated that the average person spends more than 20,000 minutes kissing. I've spent less than three. FML

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By Anon - 31/10/2009 11:08 - United Kingdom

Today, I invited my very animal phobic boyfriend over. I have a dog and a rabbit, who are always well behaved so I insisted they wouldn't do him any harm. My dog peed all over his shoes and my rabbit furiously humped his leg and wouldn't let go. He's now even more terrified of animals. FML

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By Anonymous - 30/7/2015 21:50 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I learned companies can legally lie to fire an employee, and unless anything they say is on record, they are legally correct, no matter how unethical the company is. FML

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By nycgirl424 - 5/2/2009 22:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years sent me a text messages saying, "Don't worry I'm gonna break up with her soon. Love you." FML

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By Notthemaid - 30/9/2009 19:49 - United States

Today, I was talking to my mom about how my fiancé has been ignoring me and that I didn't know why. Turns out, my mother told him that I was too much of a handful, was mentally disturbed and also cheating on him. Just so I wouldn't move out and would keep cleaning her house for free. FML

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By Stupid Drunk - 22/12/2012 05:01 - United States

Today, I was drunk at a party and confessed my love for my crush and told her how I felt. According to my friends, I made out with another girl not long after my confession. FML

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By Anna - 18/6/2011 16:54 - Estonia

Today, I woke up with a high fever and hallucinations. I called for my mother, who after checking me, swore that I was just hungover from a night of partying, called me a "f*cking hedonist", and refused to help. FML

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By hihipanda - 30/8/2009 12:58 - Singapore

Today, my friend and I went to a bar for drinks. I noticed this cute girl and went over to say "Hi." I had a great conversation with her and I asked for her number before she left. She passed it to me on a piece of paper with instructions specifying for my friend to call her and not me. FML

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By medstudent - 4/2/2009 21:24 - United States

Today, it was the first time I ever saw a vagina in person. It was during medical school training on how to do a pelvic exam. FML

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By montextes - 25/7/2011 16:12 - United States

Today, my mom finally learned how to text. Now it's her way of communicating, even when we're in the same room. FML

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By Anonymous - 11/4/2010 19:11 - United States

Today, my cat brought yet another chipmunk into our house. She never kills them, so they stay in our house until we either capture them or they escape. So far, she's brought in three squirrels, four chipmunks, four mice, and a snake. FML

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By Anonymous - 24/7/2019 20:00

Today, I've had bad gas all day. In bed, almost asleep, I felt the urge to fart, and thinking nothing of it, I let it rip. It wasn't a fart. FML

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By anonymous - 25/7/2013 05:47 - United States - Gerald

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, saying, "I'm not ready for a serious relationship." We're supposed to get married in a month. FML

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By JAMjessie - 20/9/2016 16:54 - United States

Today, I found out that my boss's ex-husband is my company manager. They are one office space apart and constantly shouting about one another. I'm in that one office space between them. In the office across from me? Their daughter. FML

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By MiniJeans - 30/4/2015 02:25 - United States - Casselberry

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend for the first time. I moved my leg to wrap it around him and accidentally hit his penis. Without thinking, I said, "Sorry little guy!" FML

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By Madagascar - 19/12/2009 10:18 - Australia

Today, when my boyfriend and I were becoming intimate, his cat decides to jump onto the bed and lie right in between us. He then informs me that he wanted to stop to "preserve his cat's innocence." FML

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By Oh hello there - 17/6/2018 01:30

Today, I accidentally left my Nintendo 3DS at the barbershop, so I rushed back to get it. The 60-year-old barber had destroyed it with a hammer, saying it was a weapon of the devil. I was gone 5 minutes. FML

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By Anonymous - 12/1/2015 09:46 - Denmark - Copenhagen

Today, I returned a rental car and almost got charged extra for the "funky and rotten" smell in the car. I blamed it on a sausage roll, not having the heart to tell the woman it was my fart from a minute before. FML

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By Grimmy - 17/3/2016 08:12 - United States - Brunswick

Today, after asking my hubby for what seems the millionth time to stop shoving his finger into my bum crack, I thought it would be funny to give him a taste of his own medicine by doing it to him. Right as my finger was in his crack, he let loose a huge fart. FML

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By Come on - 29/1/2012 00:46 - United States

Today, I was sitting on a bus. I'm deaf. An old lady looked very angry at me and started talking. Then she looked like she was screaming. I had to type on my phone that I'm deaf. Apparently, I'd been stepping on her foot. She decided to poke me in the eye and type, "Now you're blind too." FML

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By thankyouforcalling - 1/6/2015 22:46 - United States - Bremerton

Today, the phone lines at work have been cutting out in the middle of calls. I'm a receptionist at an animal hospital. I now have less than two minutes to figure out what's wrong with a client's pet and how best to schedule them before I become "That rude bitch who hung up on me." FML

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By howembarrasing - 19/4/2009 20:49 - United States

Today, I went to the sandcastle contest at my local beach. While waiting in line for my hotdog, a man cut in front of me and demanded a cup of water. I called him a jack ass and was saying how people like him give us a bad reputation on the beach. I then see him running to his choking daughter. FML

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By HunniBeeHuni - 17/11/2009 05:25 - United States

Today, I was leaving the train station when a man came up to me and asked me if I have an unlimited metrocard to swipe him in. I did have an unlimited card so I told him sure. While taking out my metrocard from my wallet, he grabbed my wallet and ran away as fast as he could. FML

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By spellbound - 19/12/2012 14:59 - Australia - Perth

Today, someone painted the "Dark Mark" on the side of my car. It won't come off and my kids refuse to get in because it means "a wizard died in there." FML

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By sportyhusband - 20/1/2010 03:46 - United States

Today, I heard the sounds of women grunting in the living room. My husband knows I don't like him to watch porn, so I confronted him. He was masturbating to professional Women's tennis. FML

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By Beefballs - 29/7/2009 06:22 - Canada

Today, I just found out my dad got remarried a year ago. The woman is officially living with us, I got to have lunch with her alone today. I found out she is only 22, with a 14 year old little brother. My dad's 47. I'm 17, now with a 14 year old uncle and a mom that can pass for my girlfriend. FML

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By Nofoodcoloringisnotasubstituteforfood - 9/12/2013 05:52 - United States - West Bend

Today, my 13-year-old daughter excitedly told me about a new diet she read about online. Apparently, the diet entirely consists of bottled water and a mixture of food coloring. The food coloring "takes care of all that vitamin and mineral stuff." My daughter is an idiot. FML

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By Anonytard - 2/3/2014 22:38 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I tried to kill a spider by throwing a shoe at it. All it did was slice the spider's egg sac open, releasing all its babies. FML

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By JRLJLS - 15/4/2013 09:09 - United States - Lehigh Acres

Today, I had phone sex with my boyfriend. He had an asthma attack. FML

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By itwasntme - 7/9/2019 16:00

It Wasn't Me, by Shaggy

Today, we found out my brother in law cheated on my sister. Somehow they’ve blamed me for the whole incident. I don’t know the guy. FML

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By Anonymous - 28/10/2011 04:17 - United States

Today, I talked to my mom about hanging out with her. She got out her phone to schedule an appointment. FML

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By piliseep - 1/12/2017 09:00 - United States - Apex

Good Meowrning!

Today, at 6 am, I was suddenly jerked from the warm embraces of sleep by the smell of poo. I was very groggy and confused when my hand landed in something wet and cold. I turned on the light and was horrified to find that my kitten took a huge dump in my bed. It was everywhere. FML

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By gabe8 - 15/6/2009 05:42 - Mexico

Today, after buying the plane ticket to Glendale, CA to visit 17 year old Courtney who I met on a dating website, she called me for the first time to say that she was actually 19 year old Seth from Atlanta, GA. FML

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By Anonymous - 3/10/2010 05:08 - United States

Today, at work, I was called into the office by my supervisor, on whom I have a massive crush. He called me in to get my password to make some adjustments on my work account and asked me what my password was. I had to hold eye contact with him and tell him my password is his full name. FML

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Top comments

By SarahSehhati | 40

#6069386 - Saturday 20 September 2014 5:07

I would take a picture of him in the tub put it on Facebook and post: Someone started their period....

By AFaye3964 | 17

#6069379 - Saturday 20 September 2014 5:06

Thats a horrible prank to pull!

COMMENTS

By AFaye3964 | 17

#6069379 - Saturday 20 September 2014 5:06

Thats a horrible prank to pull!

Reply

OysterPearls | 33

#6069404 - Saturday 20 September 2014 5:11

I will never understand why people find it funny to do things like this to people that care about them...

Reply

Silver7827 | 14

#6069406 - Saturday 20 September 2014 5:11

I agree, would have been worse if she fainted though, there might be actual blood if she hit the floor hard enough.

Reply

littleteapot | 21

#6069427 - Saturday 20 September 2014 5:30

Next time he does this just start laughing and say, "Good thing I took out a life insurance policy on him!"

Reply

Martnikk | 15

#6069576 - Saturday 20 September 2014 9:29

#11 this is called morbid humor and some people get a crack out of it.

Reply

ChevyRedneck85 | 13

#6069713 - Saturday 20 September 2014 15:26

That's great. I'm trying this on my wife.

Reply

garrett_8614 | 14

#6069814 - Saturday 20 September 2014 17:42

So since the camera messed up, does this mean we won't see the video on YouTube?

Reply

Sports_guy3 | 28

#6073419 - Thursday 25 September 2014 4:20

Kinda does.

Reply

xXxGraveStonexXx | 20

#6268502 - Tuesday 21 April 2015 1:05

Dexter ♥

By SarahSehhati | 40

#6069386 - Saturday 20 September 2014 5:07

I would take a picture of him in the tub put it on Facebook and post: Someone started their period....

Reply

ChristianH39 | 30

#6069393 - Saturday 20 September 2014 5:08

I really doubt any good could come from having that picture

Reply

ChristianH39 | 30

#6069410 - Saturday 20 September 2014 5:13

Didn't see the edit, I stand corrected lol

Reply

Nyx7 | 24

#6069527 - Saturday 20 September 2014 7:30

That sounds wonderful, bet he wont do it again

Reply

orsombre_fml | 11

#6069770 - Saturday 20 September 2014 16:32

What a great idea!

By Razi_tail | 25

#6069388 - Saturday 20 September 2014 5:07

Oh I would be furious with him! Time for some revenge.

Reply

Lct1196 | 31

#6069474 - Saturday 20 September 2014 6:30

As long as it doesnt include that type of humor. It really isnt funny to pretend to commit suicide. In fact, Im glad the "prank" didn't record correctly

By theladygamer | 10

#6069389 - Saturday 20 September 2014 5:07

Bloody hell man xD

By A07 | 48

#6069391 - Saturday 20 September 2014 5:07

Sounds like you have a keeper.

Reply

Sports_guy3 | 28

#6073421 - Thursday 25 September 2014 4:22

Come back to the website when you have learned how to use your brain.

Reply

TheLynx_fml | 20

#6530846 - Sunday 7 February 2016 5:47

Lol I agree

By Drfucked | 9

#6069394 - Saturday 20 September 2014 5:08

Your husband sounds awesome. Still an awful joke to pull on someone who loves you!

By Pingvinai | 37

#6069395 - Saturday 20 September 2014 5:08

He has started a war. Get back at him!

By KaterinaPatrova | 10

#6069398 - Saturday 20 September 2014 5:09

this is hilarious!

By MLardinos | 14

#6069405 - Saturday 20 September 2014 5:11

That is horrible! I'm sorry OP. I would have had a heart attack.

By Godsofdracos | 15

#6069407 - Saturday 20 September 2014 5:12

Be happy you have a humorous husband :)

Reply

Khaleesi_26 | 30

#6069433 - Saturday 20 September 2014 5:37

Thats not funny for someone to fake their death for a prank. Thats just plain horrible.

Reply

iwadasn | 32

#6069452 - Saturday 20 September 2014 6:07

I don't think you or OP's husband understand what humor actually is. Making a loved one think you killed yourself is cruel, not funny.

Reply

Nordrag | 26

#6069521 - Saturday 20 September 2014 7:26

To be fair. Some people find humor in cruelty. I would assume if that was part of their sense of humor you would know before marrying them. So this type of prank shouldn't be completely unexpected.

Reply

Godsofdracos | 15

#6069648 - Saturday 20 September 2014 13:32

Keep in mind he may have got the idea from a friend or the internet; the main point is that if he pulled one prank he's probably pulled more. Who the hell wants a boring relationship?