Work: Today, I finished a fence around my house that I have been working...

By Anonymous - 18/07/2009 14:23 - United States

Today, I finished a fence around my house that I have been working on all week. About an hour after I finished, a water company truck pulled into my driveway. They told me they would have to take down my fence to make repairs on a water pipe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 181

You deserved it 3 183

Work

Late term

Separation anxiety

Judge and jury

By Anonymous - 06/10/2014 23:41 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a massage. I guess I hit the spot, because he muttered, "Please marry me" into the pillow. Considering we've been going out for years and had spoken about marriage before, I stopped in my tracks. He stammered, "Oh, I mean... Not like that. Will you keep going?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 813

You deserved it 4 528

By aylla - 06/01/2012 17:51 - Canada

Today, I was diagnosed with vertigo. It's like being perpetually drunk, but without any of the fun bits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 893

You deserved it 2 390

On the beat

By Anonymous - 11/09/2020 00:02 - Greece - Thessaloniki

Today, in my orchestra, I was one of the 2 instruments that starts first. The conductor raised his hands, but while I was waiting for the preparatory beats, I blinked. When I opened my eyes, the conductor had already started. I started late, in front of a thousand people. The conductor is still angry with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 134

You deserved it 503

By Jamie - 04/04/2009 14:42 - United States

Today, I was at working at Burger King as a cashier. A girl I met last night came in and said, "Aren't you that guy from last night?" Last night, I had told her I was going to medical school and was going to be a doctor in less than a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 408

You deserved it 154 175

By screaming monkey - 04/04/2012 10:13 - United Kingdom - Whitton

Today, I'm recovering from colon surgery. They gave me codeine as pain relief, which has made me constipated. I'm currently sat on the toilet, trying to push out what feels like a small child wrapped in barbed wire out without busting my stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 233

You deserved it 2 093

By just trying to be nice - 21/06/2013 02:17 - United States - Tucson

Today, I honked at a man in a Subway parking lot. He rolled down his window and screamed insults and slurs at me before driving away. Why did I honk at him? He'd left his lunch on top of his car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 277

You deserved it 4 018

It never rains…

By Anonymous - 09/02/2021 17:01

Today, it's my ninth day off work. I should have been back 4 days ago, but whilst resting a swollen knee at home, I got a hair stuck in my eye so badly that I had to go to A&E at 4 a.m. to get it taken out. Now work won't let me come back until the resulting conjunctivitis clears up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 758

You deserved it 101

By Lucas79 - 08/10/2011 01:23 - Australia

Today, I was walking down the street on my way to work, when an old lady's walking stick caught my leg and sent me crashing to the ground. She apologised for the accident and watched me stumble to my feet. I said not to worry. Just as I turned to leave, I could swear a smirk crept over her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 175

You deserved it 3 418

By Samantha Glennie - 13/07/2018 20:30

Today, due to the high pollen count and despite taking hay fever medicine, I passed out in the bathroom from not being able to breathe. My mother accused me of doing it on purpose to make her late for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 620

You deserved it 221

By Susan - 23/08/2009 17:08 - United States

Today, I was driving my car and I thought the construction guy was flirting and waving at me. So I drove by him, waving back and hit an oil spill and my car ended up spinning out of control. He was trying to direct me away from the oil spill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 853

You deserved it 43 656

Outlaw

By me_the_maniak - 12/01/2012 10:14 - India

Today, my parents want me to become a lawyer, all because our family members keep getting into feuds and court cases. I'm a successful developer, and run my own company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 733

You deserved it 2 432

By happyturtle - 10/10/2013 11:27 - Croatia

Today, someone stole my umbrella. It was pouring heavily, and I was using it at the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 278

You deserved it 3 306

By anon - 21/06/2014 12:50 - United States - Edison

Today, I got hit by a car while walking into the hospital to visit my wife, who had also gotten hit by a car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 841

You deserved it 4 848

By Wendizzle - 27/01/2012 05:35 - United States

Today, I had to work late. I missed the last bus so I called a cab. That was 3 hours ago. I called my dad for a ride. That was 2 hours ago. I guess I'm sleeping under my desk tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 922

You deserved it 2 758

By QuietGirlSucks - 30/08/2016 15:51 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I tried talking to the very quiet girl in my grade. We were having a conversation when a very hot guy walked into the cafeteria. I said to the girl, "The things I would do for him…" She looked at me dead in the eye and said, "That's my boyfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 680

You deserved it 4 671

By Angel - 25/10/2016 20:54

Today, while out to dinner with my adult daughter, I told her I look at her Twitter because it helped me to feel close to her since she rarely calls or visits. When I got home from dinner and looked at her Twitter, she had set it to private. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 236

You deserved it 2 515

By harry - 04/12/2009 05:55 - Hong Kong

Today, I started growing hair on my upper lip. I'm finally becoming a man! Too bad I'm a 17 year old girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 930

You deserved it 5 190

Happy Thanksgiving!

By Anonymous - 26/11/2020 14:08 - United States - Sacramento

Today, my daughter repeated what she had heard her grandma say when asked to say grace. It happened to be, "Dear God, why the fuck did we invite all these assholes to Thanksgiving?" I don't want to attend any more family gatherings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 931

You deserved it 122

By notsobig - 29/01/2013 22:39 - United States

Today, I jokingly asked my girlfriend if she thinks I have a big package. She replied that she didn't want to upset me and get into another fight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 604

You deserved it 40 819

By Anonymous - 11/03/2011 02:27 - United States

Today, for our last kid-free dinner before the birth of our 4th child, we chose a Japanese hibachi restaurant. They sat us with a family with a toddler, who started screaming at the first flame trick, causing the chef to cease to do anything entertaining. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 696

You deserved it 4 556

By RS - 17/03/2015 16:25 - United States - Delray Beach

Today, I tried a new hairstyle to impress a guy I like. I was pretty confident, until he took one look at me and said, "Uh... why's there an onion on your head?" So much for that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 170

You deserved it 6 816

By mitsuko045 - 10/08/2010 00:33 - Ireland

Today, after moving into my new house, I agreed to let my house mates have a house warming on the condition it be a small one, as I have exams all day that day and one that I can't fail on the very next morning. The facebook event guest list now has 100+ confirmed guests. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 114

You deserved it 25 886

By pussystroker - 19/11/2009 17:20 - United Kingdom

Today, a cat came up to me on the pavement so I petted it a little. An elderly man rode past on his bicycle and shouted "I'd like to stroke your pussy too!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 201

You deserved it 3 978

By NotYourToy - 27/01/2016 07:59 - United States - Binghamton

Today, a customer scared me for the sole purpose of watching my breasts jiggle when I jumped in surprise. I know because his head moved as they did, and he said, "Nice." before walking away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 655

You deserved it 2 124

Mood breaker

By Anonymous - 01/10/2021 06:30 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, I was having sexy time with my girlfriend when she said she needed to pee. She came back 5 minutes later and started talking about how she hasn't seen her best friend in ages and misses her. Needless to say, I couldn't get the man downstairs back up when we continued. FML

I agree, your life sucks 865

You deserved it 137

By fuck me - 28/11/2013 19:13 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, my dad is forcing me to go shopping with him tomorrow for Black Friday, because he's convinced that my martial arts classes will come in handy when people "inevitably" try to beat the shit out of us in the rush for cheap stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 967

You deserved it 3 649

By TotallyDeservedIt - 19/05/2016 17:19 - United States - Midlothian

Today, my plan to prank my husband backfired when I forgot about the "pop-its" I left under the toilet seat and set them off. It not only scared the shit out of me, it also woke up my 2 month-old and my grumpy husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 051

You deserved it 12 804

By FranticFarAwayDaughter - 16/11/2017 19:00

Today, my mother was transferred from the hospital to a long-term care facility. Nobody I talk to at the hospital knows what facility they sent her to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 649

You deserved it 204

By Anonymous - 05/07/2013 04:59 - Canada - Newmarket

Today, my daughter asked me to get her razors. When my 19-year-old son saw them he asked what they were for, to which my daughter replied, "For my armpits." My son then said, "Girls don't grow armpit hair." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 878

You deserved it 6 882

By Anonymous - 02/03/2011 21:26 - United States

Today, I was out skating with a guy I really like. I put on my best moves, to impress him. I ended up slicing his lip open with my skate mid-jump. His lip is now wired shut by twelve stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 869

You deserved it 36 316

By Richard - 06/02/2010 18:39 - France

Today, there was a new and extremely attractive girl at youth group, so I decided to introduce myself. Her reply was, "Wow, I've always wanted to meet a gay guy!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 266

You deserved it 4 489

By tan disaster - 27/02/2009 23:09 - United States

Today, I went to get my spray tan before my semi-formal. After I applied lotion to the bottom of my feet as instructed, I went in the booth and began to start the tanning session. I lost my balance and fell right as the machine began to spray. I look like a spotted cheetah. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 478

You deserved it 39 257

By ohno - 01/12/2011 14:38 - United States

Today, due to "severe cuts to the budget" at work, I had to stir my coffee with a paper clip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 323

You deserved it 5 425

By Danger. Hard Hat Area. - 28/01/2017 20:00 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, while walking past a construction site on my way to class, a hard hat fell off a roof and hit me on the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 234

You deserved it 496

By "ZeroG57" - 04/05/2017 14:00

Today my friend invited me to an afro-indigenous event. Eager to learn more about my roots, I tagged along. The bean bag toss and warrior dance was fun, until the Q&A came and it was clear that the focus wasn't the African diaspora but "consistent ritualized self-improvement". Yup, it's a cult. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 122

You deserved it 465

By Disturbed son - 16/09/2018 01:30

Today, my mother sent a picture that was meant for her husband. I cannot unsee what I have seen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 995

You deserved it 184

By Anonymous - 11/09/2011 19:16 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to clean up after the kid that discovered he could finger paint with his poo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 177

You deserved it 3 158

By Fairymyass - 17/07/2011 16:01 - United Kingdom

Today, an argument broke out between me, my girlfriend, and her sister. They were trying to convince me that not only were fairies real, but there were "scientific facts" that "prove" their existence. My girlfriend's 20 and her sister teaches primary school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 855

You deserved it 4 486

By danii - 05/10/2011 03:28 - Reserved

Today, I drove to the liquor store completely naked except for my dressing gown, with a carload of idiot stoners who ran in and stole vodka, tequila and whiskey. We drank in a bush. Last week I was a good citizen, and now I'm white trash. I'm not quite sure what happened in between. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 096

You deserved it 64 830

By thanksad - 23/08/2013 01:38 - United States - Cerritos

Today, my 50-year-old dad was in a foul mood after taking an online test that put him in Slytherin house instead of Ravenclaw where he "belongs" because he's "so smart". FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 344

You deserved it 3 667

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Top comments

WolfgangDS 0

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Saturday 18 July 2009 21:28

Tell them that if this water pipe isn't affecting you specifically, they can put the fence back up when they're finished.

divineinstrument 2

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Saturday 18 July 2009 20:26

I dislike people like #2. They can't understand that an FML is just a way of sharing annoying things that have happened to you. Posting an FML does not mean you are in tears about it or anything like that. I haven't seen a single FML where some retard hasn't something with the theme of "This isn't an FML..." What has to happen for it to be an FML? Do all your family have to die in some unbelievably ironic way to submit an FML? God...

RosarioRivera 0

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Saturday 18 July 2009 20:02

That stinksss!

jud420 0

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Saturday 18 July 2009 21:08

They never said it was a sewage pipe.

Cramps_fml 0

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Saturday 18 July 2009 21:35

The people saying "Get over it, big deal" etc etc, suck my sweaty balls. The water company WILL NOT replace your fence, it is a big deal. Someone undoing your hard work and then forcing you to redo it is a BAD TIME.

rofl_lol_lmao 0

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Sunday 19 July 2009 1:45

no offense because that totally does suck and this is in no way your fault but you must have a big yard if putting up a fence takes a week...

Lummy 0

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Monday 20 July 2009 5:28

Yeah, right. Shenanigans!

HarleyRider77 0

Monday 20 July 2009 6:19

Yeah right. Like they're not going to put it up again. NOT AN FML.

esquared77 0

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Monday 20 July 2009 18:53

Listen to you, Mr. perfect thinks of everything. People make mistakes, they learn from them, and move on. It sucks that he did all that work and it gets torn down. He'll know for next time, even if he is an adult or not... Just from your response I bet you bitch and moan everytime something goes wrong.

troyboyd05 0

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Wednesday 24 February 2010 6:19

44 said no one is allowed to put a fence on their property because they're supposed to know something is going to go wrong with a water pipe. His level of stupidity amazes me.

crackAjack 0

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Saturday 18 July 2009 20:04

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

Tuckerr 0

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Saturday 18 July 2009 20:07

so posting an FML is crying about stuff? huh. thought it was just to get stuff off your chest

SiLveRStaRLIGHT 0

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Saturday 18 July 2009 20:09

I know, it's strange. I thought that's what it was for too.

divineinstrument 2

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Saturday 18 July 2009 20:26

crackAjack 0

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Saturday 18 July 2009 22:45

no but this isn't an FML because they put it back together right after they're done

divineinstrument 2

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Saturday 18 July 2009 22:56

But that's annoying. He spent a week building the fence, and now he has to do it over

jjenniferr05 0

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Sunday 19 July 2009 0:26

they won't put it back together.

crackAjack 0

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Sunday 19 July 2009 6:19

they will, the same thing happened to me.

bbobe900000 0

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Monday 20 July 2009 4:29

#3 and 4, you made me laugh more than I've laughed all day.

ledara111 0

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Thursday 19 May 2011 7:01

Bitch shut up nobody gives 2 shits about lesbian anal lovers like you. make my white ass a corn dog

sugarcupcake 0

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Saturday 18 July 2009 20:13

dont they tell you when they are coming so then its not a surprise?

blalien 0

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Saturday 18 July 2009 22:33

Not if it's an emergency. If a water pipe ruptured, they're going to want to fix that right away.

coloradodude12 0

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Saturday 18 July 2009 20:14

Oh no, you have to take out a section of fence and put it back in later! Horrible!

cpatrick820 3

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Saturday 18 July 2009 20:18

Eh, have to agree that sucks. Oh well, at least you have a house with a fence. You could be living on a bench.

helpmeiamblind 0

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Saturday 18 July 2009 20:25

FYL dude. That sucks hardcore.

divineinstrument 2

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Saturday 18 July 2009 20:28

That is SO annoying. It's really annoying when you've done something, and then something goes wrong you have to do it all over again. I really feel for you

notapplicable123 0

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Saturday 18 July 2009 20:29

fyl Whether it's one board or one hundred. They're ruining your hard work. And even if they DO fix it, it might be messed up.

nobgobblin69 0

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Saturday 18 July 2009 20:29

i find this is a worthy fml. i agree with #9

Kataie 3

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Saturday 18 July 2009 21:03

I have a feeling it might be fake, normally you'd get some kind of notice from the company saying "we've gotta fix some pipe in your yard" a week or so before. Or at least that's what they do here in Canada. But if it is true, that blows =/