Kids and Health: Today, I felt so unwell that I didn't fall asleep until 4 AM.... - FML

By Calimero0 - 05/12/2017 01:30

Today, I felt so unwell that I didn't fall asleep until 4 AM. The baby woke up at 5, ready to start the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 280

You deserved it 580

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Same thing different taste

Bumpy ride

By Mum2be - 25/07/2021 02:01

Today, my baby kept me up all night, and I only got 3 hours sleep. Normal, right? He's not even born yet and I'm only 5 months along. FML

I agree, your life sucks 819

You deserved it 212

Forgetful

By Jane - 02/03/2024 12:00 - Switzerland

Today, I woke up unusually early for an appointment and got ready real quick. Only after passing the front door did I realize I had forgotten my sleeping baby inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 299

White light/White heat

By Anonymous - 27/08/2022 10:00 - Australia

Today, I didn't get to sleep until 5 a.m., as I stayed up to finish off a big project that I have been working on for the past week. I was then woken up at 6 a.m. by my daughter saying she was ready for school. School starts at 9 a.m., and is a 2-minute drive away. I'm now at work, living off an hour of sleep and coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 872

You deserved it 273

Chainsaw

By Anonymous - 21/08/2021 07:01 - United Kingdom

Today, after a very poor night's sleep, I've had to stay awake and do housework while my husband, who slept like a baby last night, keeps on sleeping because he "didn't sleep well." He was snoring all night long, the reason I didn't sleep well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 927

You deserved it 130

By yrfavweapon - 02/07/2010 19:29 - United States

Today, after two hours, I finally got my very cranky, sick baby to fall asleep. Five minutes later, a neighbor started shooting off fireworks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 524

You deserved it 3 879

By adderallgirl - 12/06/2009 20:04 - United States

Today, I woke up feeling like shit after I had spent the whole night taking care of my sick boyfriend. He got up early, feeling great, bouncing around the house. When I finally got up I told him I didn't feel well and he yelled at me for being a bitch in the morning that slows him down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 947

You deserved it 5 331

Burn out

By ShitOuttaLuck - 02/10/2021 20:00

Today, I'm dead on my feet after being awake since 1AM with the baby. I begged my wife to watch both the baby and our four year-old for an hour while I napped. She refused, and instead said she needed a rest more. Her reason? “I might need to do a shit later.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 007

You deserved it 199

New parents know

By Anonymous - 19/03/2019 08:00 - New Zealand - Palmerston North

Today, I've reached a level of tired I didn't think was possible. I've had less than 3 hours sleep in the last 72 hours and have not slept more than 20 minutes each stretch because my newborn is so unsettled. The baby has been peacefully sleeping for the last 3 hours and I can't sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 072

You deserved it 312

Sleepless in Singapore

By Anonymous - 30/07/2022 10:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I was having trouble sleeping due to jet lag. I was finally sleepy and looking forward to a decent night of rest when my 4 year-old woke up and refused to stay in his room or try to rest. The next two hours involved him shouting at me, kicking me, and crying because he wanted Daddy, who is on a business trip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 819

You deserved it 208

By better late than never - 08/05/2015 21:32

Today, and for the first time in months, I woke up feeling well rested and ready to face the day. At 7pm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 291

You deserved it 3 715

Next

Top comments

MadJessTic 29

Tuesday 5 December 2017 2:53

Welcome to Parenthood! Its crazy, it can definitely suck at times. But in the end, is Totally Worth ALL of it!

Lobby_Bee 17

Tuesday 5 December 2017 3:06

Two shots of whiskey should quiet the baby down.

Comments

MadJessTic 29

Tuesday 5 December 2017 2:53

Welcome to Parenthood! Its crazy, it can definitely suck at times. But in the end, is Totally Worth ALL of it!

Allie614032 34

Tuesday 5 December 2017 2:58

Try to nap when your baby does. Just make sure to be nearby or leave on the monitor so you can hear when (s)he wakes again :)

Lobby_Bee 17

Tuesday 5 December 2017 3:06

Two shots of whiskey should quiet the baby down.

Manav Shukla 7

Tuesday 5 December 2017 11:16

Lol nice idea.... ???

exileonmainst 16

Tuesday 5 December 2017 3:31

Feed the baby to the squirrels and you’ll have your sleep.

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 5 December 2017 3:47

If you fell asleep in the garage, you would have got to sleep at 2 am and you wouldn't hear the baby over the industrial fans.

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 6 December 2017 6:45

Where are all of these children coming from? I’m not even getting laid, yet I’m having offspring!!!!

manb91uk 22

Tuesday 5 December 2017 13:24

I bet you REALLY wish your neighbor hadn’t poked those holes in your condom now eh?

ChakatBlackstar 29

Tuesday 5 December 2017 16:31

And yet my mother insists I should have one of these terrors for myself. I have yet to hear a compelling reason that can override the horror of stories like this.

sweetbliss3 37

Wednesday 6 December 2017 3:41

ahh, the luxury of not having kids. enjoy the screaming. seriously, feel better.

Seymore Collins 7

Wednesday 6 December 2017 10:28

It's weird what you have to do when you have kids right? lol

gbomb82 5

Wednesday 6 December 2017 21:54

next time use Nyquill

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The Top

Today, I was at the gym on the elliptical. Feeling proud of myself for finishing a very intense workout, I looked to my left to see that the maintenance guy fixing the machine next to me had burned more calories testing the machine than I did during my entire workout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 577

You deserved it 5 576

Today, I was wearing my yoga pants for my boyfriend. He's infatuated with them. He claims they make my ass look nice. I found out it's because I constantly get a camel toe, and it gives him a semi every time he sees it. I found this out by listening to him and his father at dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 983

You deserved it 10 418

The Top

Today, while in the shower with my boyfriend, I tried to heat things up by washing his knob with my loofa. He couldn't stop laughing and eventually laughed so hard that he slipped and fell. He now has a bruised butt while I have a missing toenail from catching his fall. Ouch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 291

You deserved it 2 896

Today, at the age of 23, I brought my boyfriend over to meet my parents. My father swabbed his mouth for DNA and fingerprinted him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 613

You deserved it 3 758

Today, I accidentally twisted my balls in my own underwear so badly that I had to be hospitalized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 021

You deserved it 8 045

Today, I was talking to an art critic at an exhibition. He told me that the artist had no talent and went on to tell me everything wrong with each painting. I'd painted them all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 389

You deserved it 2 617

Today, I got naked in front of a girl for the first time. Too bad it happened when my "friends" pulled down my swimsuit at a party. Everyone saw my penis. I got a boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 757

You deserved it 379

Today, I would understand if my mom left the stove a bit greasy after cooking, because it’s too hot to wipe down right away. What she actually does is she leaves the stove HAIRY. FML

I agree, your life sucks 815

You deserved it 86