Today, I fell down the stairs and broke my leg. My dad helped... - FML

By wo-ow - United States - Bronx

Today, I fell down the stairs and broke my leg. My dad helped me to the car so he could drive me to the hospital, but when he saw our neighbor, he went over and had a 15 minute screaming match with him over how his dog keeps shitting on our lawn, all while I sat in the car in agony. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53133

You deserved it

4305

Tweet

Share

Messed up

Assumptions

You snooze, you lose

By job hunter - United States - New York

Today, I interviewed for my dream job. Everything was going great until the interviewer asked, "So, what's your least favorite race?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

4443

You deserved it

310

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - New Zealand

Today, my boss rang me for the 5th time on my day off. Frustrated I pushed 'ignore' and yelled a string of obscenities at my phone. Turns out I pushed 'talk'. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13510

You deserved it

50777

Tweet

Share

By TANT - United States

Today, I decided to start working out because my friends said I'm scrawny and weak. I bought an expensive giant container of protein powder to take before during work outs. I wasn't strong enough to open the lid. FML

I agree, your life sucks

74416

You deserved it

24504

Tweet

Share

By master6

Today I was pulling in to my work parking lot gate, accidentally hit the accelerator instead of the brake pedal, ran through the gate arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1625

You deserved it

1210

Tweet

Share

By pinkpurplegurl - China

Today, while taking the subway home, a woman offered me her seat. I smiled and declined. She said she insisted because of my "pregnancy". I was too ashamed to say I'm not pregnant that I just took the seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23005

You deserved it

3996

Tweet

Share

By - France

Today, I drank a beer that I thought was mine, it wasn't and someone had put out their cigarette in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27426

You deserved it

11835

Tweet

Share

By MGZ - United States

Today, I told my 13 year old daughter that she was grounded from using her phone. Later on, I get an important call regarding a job that I have been after. After I'd picked up the phone, my daughter starts screaming "HELP! RAPE! HELP!" on the other phone. I don't think I'll be getting the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45230

You deserved it

8524

Tweet

Share

By angry - Canada - Scarborough

Today, I came out as lesbian and introduced my new girlfriend to my family. My mom angrily told me that I should have waited until my grandparents had died before coming out, and that I was "extremely disrespectful" for making this announcement. I honestly thought everyone would be fine with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9707

You deserved it

1104

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I got a phone call, and the person on the other line started speaking French. I assumed it was my friend since we usually speak French with each other, so I said in French "What do you want, asshole?". It wasn't my friend. It was a representative for the exchange program I'm applying for. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17986

You deserved it

97286

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Las Vegas

Today, after I requested a sick day, a very close co-worker texted her boyfriend that I'm a bitch for pretending to have the same rare illness that she recently suffered. She said it was unlikely, disrespectful and unfair that I didn't even look sick. I know this because she texted me instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27134

You deserved it

2788

Tweet

Share

By ConfusedCollegeKid - United States - Normal

Today, my theatre studies professor played a soundscape, then had us write what we thought the meaning was. I thought it was a simulation of what schizophrenia was like. Turns out the teacher bet her friend she could convince us that a bunch of people speaking gibberish meant something. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4583

You deserved it

541

Tweet

Share

By arse of fire :( - United Kingdom - Slough

Today, I was struck down with horrible diarrhea. With barely any toilet paper left, I texted my husband to buy some more and rush home. He replied, "Sorry babe, getting shitfaced with the lads. Get it? 'Shitfaced'. LOL!" and stopped replying to my desperate pleas. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34004

You deserved it

3851

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Germany

Today, after five long years of having been together, my boyfriend told me that he wanted to take our relationship to the "next level". We now have a Sims relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33648

You deserved it

4934

Tweet

Share

By uetlqdja - United States

Today, my ex husband is marrying my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks

106475

You deserved it

7143

Tweet

Share

By blondie - Australia

Today, I was trying to convince my boyfriend that I am NOT a dumb blonde. After screaming at the top of my lungs, I tripped over a bin and hit my head on a wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22976

You deserved it

87926

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my ex-boyfriend, with whom I'm still madly in love, called me and begged me to come back to him. In shock, I asked, "Is this some kind of joke?" He giggled, said yes, and then promptly hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

63131

You deserved it

7046

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I came home to find that my pregnant cat had given birth to a stillborn kitten in every room of the house. It had then rubbed its butt around the house, leaving bloody stains everywhere. When I went to clean the white carpet, the bleach turned it green. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40704

You deserved it

5959

Tweet

Share

By Shelly - United States

Today, I used the restroom at a department store. While I was in my stall, I overheard a little girl say to her mother, "I see someone wearing pink!" I remembered that I was wearing pink just as she finished her thought, "And she's pooping." She was peeking at me through the stall. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53101

You deserved it

3398

Tweet

Share

By moron - United States

Today, I drove my boyfriend to hospital because he felt extremely ill. His buddies had gotten their hands on a taser, and he had the brilliant idea of being shot as part of a Youtube stunt video. Now I have an empty gas tank and have to clean up a puddle of vomit in my living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31261

You deserved it

3714

Tweet

Share

By Rachel - United States

Today, I bit into a cereal bar and thought the inside was oddly damp. I took a look at it and saw a maggot worm wriggling around. Its friend was in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51139

You deserved it

3231

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend dumped me, all because he's scared of my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33695

You deserved it

5672

Tweet

Share

By anon - United States

Today, I was eating at a diner one of my friends from work recommended to me. I ordered a chicken salad sandwich, which was pretty good despite the used bandaid in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21736

You deserved it

1337

Tweet

Share

By savioyr

Today, my business partners of 5 years asked me right after our 5-hour audit with the tax department, "Oh, we have to pay tax?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

2819

You deserved it

357

Tweet

Share

By ertyo - Romania - Oradea

Today, it's Christmas Eve. I was the happiest ever realizing that all the bills are paid, all the presents are bought, all the food is ready, and I still have some money left. This my biggest accomplishment so far as a young adult. Until I realized I don't have a tree. Adulting is hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7636

You deserved it

939

Tweet

Share

By dre_bro11 - Australia

Today, I found the same spider which I had let live yesterday hidden in my bath towel. I didn't find it until it was smeared on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33975

You deserved it

12439

Tweet

Share

By Ouch - United States

Today, as I was closing my car door, I realized I had left the keys in the ignition. Not wanting to lock myself out, I reached to stop the door from closing. Not only did I scream when the door slammed on my hand, but in my furious pain, I leaned on the door, locking my keys inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45329

You deserved it

13204

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me and left me with the responsibility of the turtle that I never wanted but she insisted we buy "together." A little bit of research has revealed that Andre will live for "at least 30 years." FML

I agree, your life sucks

49537

You deserved it

7299

Tweet

Share

By stinky car - United States - Bessemer

Today, I went on a new medicine. One of the listed side-effects was "anal seepage" and I spent the better part of the day laughing with my coworkers about how it's "not a real side-effect". I found out that it really is while stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic on the way home. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43924

You deserved it

10369

Tweet

Share

By Gone With the Wind - United States - Omaha

Today, the tornado sirens went off so my family went to the basement and turned on the TV to the local news. The station goes to their sky cam as a trampoline flies by. Quite the sight. When the storm passed, I looked outside to see our trampoline was gone. It was the one flying by on TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53569

You deserved it

4854

Tweet

Share

By kharrington - United States

Today, a woman called my work and accused me of having an affair with her husband, my coworker, demanding that my boss discipline me. I don't know her, I barely know her husband, and I haven't had sex in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42465

You deserved it

3509

Tweet

Share

By Lola Smith - 3/11/2020 11:02

Weird questions

Today, a customer asked me if we serve spaghetti. She then asked for a manager because I was giving her a weird look, laughing softly when telling her yes, and apparently making her feel stupid. My manager wrote me up. I work at the Old Spaghetti Factory. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1088

You deserved it

157

Tweet

Share

By Thewatcher - Mauritius

Today, I tried to download some network-monitoring software for the office as I suspect that one of my staff has been constantly downloading torrents. It wouldn't download because someone was using all the bandwidth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32815

You deserved it

3243

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Ukraine - Kiev

Today, I was walking to the movie theatre with my boyfriend, when three guys muscled over and told us to hand over our phones. My boyfriend didn't waste any time pushing past me and running like hell, leaving me in tears and almost having a panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34015

You deserved it

3043

Tweet

Share

By Stank

Today, my husband is going on his 5th consecutive day without a shower. He’s been working 16-hour shifts, and though I'm empathetic to his exhaustion, his foul body odor has overtaken the bedroom and his excretions have discolored his side of the bed. I fear the worst. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4174

You deserved it

375

Tweet

Share

By J-Sauce - Canada - Salmon Arm

Today, I went to a club with 6 girls thinking it would be awesome. As soon as we got there, they all said they wanted to go dance and asked if I could watch their purses. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12722

You deserved it

2758

Tweet

Share

By Ages ago - Poland - Warsaw

Today, two guys robbed me. As I wrestled them on the ground, my best friend just stood next to all this, telling me to give them the money already, or we'd be late for school. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1858

You deserved it

214

Tweet

Share

By sunny_funny - Cyprus - Nicosia

Today, my car broke down. My colleague came to get me and then, later, my husband picked me up from work. We went to collect my abandoned car, but it was gone. It took 10 minutes of me panicking and thinking it had been stolen before he crumpled in laughter and told me he'd already collected it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7759

You deserved it

1000

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to visit my grandmother. My grandfather recently died, so I had gotten her a cat for comfort. Turns out in her sadness, she had forgotten about the cat. I found its remains being eaten by ants and birds. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1799

You deserved it

399

Tweet

Share

By alone_forever - United States

Today, my best friend who I have been secretly in love with forever, was ranting about her ex-girlfriend. Then she said : "If only you were gay, we'd be perfect for each other." So I took the chance to tell her I was. She responded : "Well I am still not attracted to you though." FML

I agree, your life sucks

77694

You deserved it

7839

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Concord

Today, I got really horny during a 10 hour shift, so I snuck into a storage room and relieved myself. Then as I went to leave the room, I noticed the security camera above the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7989

You deserved it

25073

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By superrocket19 | 17

#5967454 - Saturday 7 June 2014 5:14

I'm sorry op... Hopefully your leg gets better!

By stupidface15 | 16

#5967461 - Saturday 7 June 2014 5:16

who won

COMMENTS

By superrocket19 | 17

#5967454 - Saturday 7 June 2014 5:14

I'm sorry op... Hopefully your leg gets better!

Reply

gjikvtj | 18

#5967477 - Saturday 7 June 2014 5:19

Oh doggum, he was just pulling her leg

Reply

AlwaysWatching | 27

#5968250 - Sunday 8 June 2014 0:03

You mean #9

By jstorie95 | 8

#5967455 - Saturday 7 June 2014 5:14

Did you finally get to the hospital?

Reply

gjikvtj | 18

#5967472 - Saturday 7 June 2014 5:18

This was actually typed with a broken leg and tears on the phone screen

Reply

Ian7890 | 23

#5967663 - Saturday 7 June 2014 9:11

#8 your profile pic confused me. i thought there was something on my screen

Reply

B1GK3N | 8

#5967712 - Saturday 7 June 2014 11:16

#8 you got me twice on the first two comments... -_- anyway, OP I hope you have a speedy recovery!

Reply

Blaphlafagus | 19

#5969054 - Sunday 8 June 2014 20:24

Some say she still sits in that car to this day..

By Miss_Whipped | 43

#5967460 - Saturday 7 June 2014 5:15

Clearly this was the best time to rain down a shit storm.

Reply

tpm45 | 25

#5967490 - Saturday 7 June 2014 5:25

According to OP, it most certainly was not.

By stupidface15 | 16

#5967461 - Saturday 7 June 2014 5:16

who won

Reply

IllestRated | 17

#5967502 - Saturday 7 June 2014 5:28

Her leg

Reply

J215B | 33

#5967610 - Saturday 7 June 2014 7:12

The stairs.

Reply

Rainhawk94 | 27

#5968275 - Sunday 8 June 2014 0:50

The dog

Reply

Mii99 | 16

#5969375 - Monday 9 June 2014 3:52

Why not both?

By Mii99 | 16

#5967465 - Saturday 7 June 2014 5:16

Well this is awkward..

Reply

AnonymousFunFMLs | 18

#5967629 - Saturday 7 June 2014 7:43

How is it awkward?

Reply

emily4040 | 18

#5967832 - Saturday 7 June 2014 14:47

I agree with #39 how is it awkward?

By Rozay333 | 34

#5967469 - Saturday 7 June 2014 5:17

Wow, that's suckish. Sorry OP. I hope you eventually got to a hospital to get your leg checked out.

By bcofelia | 22

#5967470 - Saturday 7 June 2014 5:17

Here come the shitty puns.

Reply

stupidface15 | 16

#5967479 - Saturday 7 June 2014 5:20

this could be a sticky situation

Reply

tpm45 | 25

#5967495 - Saturday 7 June 2014 5:26

OP shouldn't have to put up with this shit.

By tpm45 | 25

#5967478 - Saturday 7 June 2014 5:19

Clearly shit takes priority above all.

By spignona84 | 11

#5967480 - Saturday 7 June 2014 5:20

Dogs shitting on your lawn is pretty fucking annoying

By TisAPenguin | 16

#5967494 - Saturday 7 June 2014 5:26

I would have let out a blood-curdling scream a couple minutes in.

Reply

Brandi_Faith | 33

#5967789 - Saturday 7 June 2014 13:27

I completely agree, I would've been screaming, crying, honking the horn, anything to get him moving. It makes me wonder if the OP just say there quietly, patiently waiting? If so, than I guess the pain had subsided by then?

Reply

TisAPenguin | 16

#5967962 - Saturday 7 June 2014 18:10

I was wondering if maybe the father doesn't respond well to being interrupted, regardless of the situation. I've know people with parents that will put off their kids' needs for something totally unimportant.