Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML
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By
mattsan1992
| 0
mmhmm. where are you hiding her
By
cheeser9
| 0
sounds like a fun night
COMMENTS
By
mattsan1992
| 0
mmhmm. where are you hiding her
Reply
kiran_fml
| 5
what would a fire poker have to do with a prisoner?
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Iamnotmyself
| 17
it's not where it's how many
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tatababe
| 1
OP that is just plain creepy
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arlekin21
| 0
hey you should kidnap those girls so that other fml'er can take his usual route home
Reply
Thunderbender
| 2
Sticks and stones may brake my bones but chains and whips excite me...
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Jacobt24
| 19
*break
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Tektite
| 14
LOL @ 24.. Sooo true.
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littlemissFYL
| 5
the police interrupted what OP had in store for tonight.
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atreyafail_666
| 4
how many sex slaves u have?
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enonymous
| 8
Credit card profiling happens... anytime I buy a bag of lime, shovels, anarchy handbook, 2 tons of fertilizer, ammonia nitrate, a confederate flag, blasting caps and 2 slim jims. Cops are all over me... they don't understand I'm just trying preparing for my audit at the IRS. I think it's the slim jims that give me away
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officeradvil
| 8
*ammonium nitrate
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shoopd
| 19
It's not lime. It's lye you want, to make bodies decompose faster.
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Rand0mPlaces
| 0
really dude you should be ashamed of your horrible comment
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mrjmaster1234
| 0
torture...duhhh
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HolyCarp
| 5
You're obviously an amateur..
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HolyCarp
| 5
11- you're obviously an amateur..
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AaronTkr
| 0
LOL #24
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randomthingstv
| 5
And what else, ammo? Sounds legit :|
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cfalen
| 0
you could clearly see that he was making a alien communication device.
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bpell15
| 5
That has been my monthly shopping list since I was about 15. and they've never found my prisoners...
Reply
dolphincheddar
| 10
good thing I don't use my credit card to buy the ropes, dog food, cattle prod, and hydrochloric acid. otherwise they might find
grandma.. she's safer in my basement. the illuminati is out to get her! at least that's what the voices in my head tell me
grandma.. she's safer in my basement. the illuminati is out to get her! at least that's what the voices in my head tell me
Reply
acdc923
| 0
(To the main FML):
I once almost walked out a garage sale with a bat, a saw, hedge clippers, and a can of gas, but I thought better of it.
I once almost walked out a garage sale with a bat, a saw, hedge clippers, and a can of gas, but I thought better of it.
Reply
cH1N1chunga
| 5
I kno what im buying
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Iamnotmyself
| 17
-92 Why do you steal my old pictures?
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Its_A_Trap
| 0
74 - where can an honest folk get a copy of anarchy handbook nowadays?
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MinkaGraham
| 0
HAHA , i was thinking the EXACT same thing , Arlekin21 ! (x
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Thunderbender
| 2
#36 damn, I didn't even notice I did that. I thumbed myself down for that one : P
Reply
enonymous
| 8
It is actually lime as lye will let the DNA leech into the soil enough for comparison and will also cause the body to have a foul odor but with lime it will eat the body and DNA faster than lye and will also have a much less noticeable odor. but I was wrong on ammonium nitrate
Reply
TheBitchOfChuckN
| 7
WHY DO YOU KNOW THESE THINGS.
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tjv3
| 10
welcome to the "police" state. go back to the store you bought the stuff from and kick the cashier's ass
Reply
Rosalie_Haostn
| 0
CSI :)
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Sacurason
| 0
199- Best. Pic. Evar. I don't care if I get thumbs down for the dumb comment, but the world must see that insta-lol
Reply
redsfan
| 4
Are you Buffalo Bill? "It puts the lotion on the skin."
Reply
HeXr
| 22
The Internet?
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Wolfy1337
| 7
183) the Internet!
By
cheeser9
| 0
sounds like a fun night
Reply
xlord
| 27
I know how OP feels... why the other day I just wanted some wire explosives casing and detonator but the FBI wouldn't let me
Reply
shovels
| 0
It was a fun night!
Reply
MrTittySprinkles
| 7
all your missing is some good scotch and you got your self one hell of a night
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iSitt
| 0
did you buy a basket to put the lotion in?
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tobabo101
| 0
bahaahahahahha @ 72 , Joe dirt :D
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macca1234
| 1
72 deserves sooo many more likes!! that is gold!!
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dolphincheddar
| 10
112. it's silence if the lambs dinkus McGee.
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dolphincheddar
| 10
of.
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probably quite a kinky one ;)
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gntfmlingnow
| 12
Giggity
By
bethyc4
| 26
FIRST!!!!!!!!
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bethyc4
| 26
lame I wad five seconds too late
By
hannahtaskey
| 9
That doesn't look suspicious at all...
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Red_Ranger_Rules
| 0
yea if you are Casey Anthony! hahahha too soon
Reply
knights95
| 9
He just described my shopping list.
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JokerJohn7
| 0
thats the point...it looks suspicious
Reply
daisyloo
| 7
164, it's called sarcasm.
Reply
xleanne_aLly
| 23
this FML actually made me laugh.
Reply
spadekqj10
| 0
that's hella funny.. but wtf ?
By
mortiz91_fml
| 6
haha at the same time, that combination if kind of suspicious
Reply
shenaniganry
| 3
Well spotted, Sir!
Reply
dansco
| 24
My thoughts exactly! Why give this thumbs down?
OP is a kidnapper ffs ;) lol
OP is a kidnapper ffs ;) lol
Reply
forever2life
| 0
No shit Sherlock
By
KingGeorgeGal
| 12
I don't blame him... Sounds fishy.
Reply
bethyc4
| 26
you smell fishy , damn close those legs!
Reply
KingGeorgeGal
| 12
I meant to say them, oops, oh well(:
Reply
xbigmeatx
| 0
haha like your underware jk
Reply
KingGeorgeGal
| 12
& How would you know? Creeepppper.
By
zacharytk72
| 5
that's illegal here isn't it?
Reply
a_nutritionist
| 10
coincidences are only illegal in russia you fucking commie.
Reply
SpankyMcThrust
| 6
Illegal for the police to search your house at random? Yes, unless OP gave them permission.
[And no, they didn't get a signed warrant in the same day, it doesn't work that way.]
[And no, they didn't get a signed warrant in the same day, it doesn't work that way.]
Reply
captainsuperdawg
| 0
they probably asked permission first if they didn't have a warrant
Reply
GuessWhatKids
| 13
7- No, it's illegal over there.
By
darkch0colate
| 0
now why would one need all of those?
Reply
KingGeorgeGal
| 12
For a fun time?(;
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KingGeorgeGal
| 12
For a fun time?(;
Reply
Mysanitywins
| 10
To make Cupcakes silly.
Reply
DoubleEdgedBlade
| 4
It's for getting that 25 kill streak for a Tactical Nuke. What did you expect?
Reply
JenniferTheDark
| 0
Instantly %20 more awesome.
By
codyfranta
| 0
*Unconciously kidnaps and rapes a susbstantial amount of people.*
Reply
Rand0mPlaces
| 0
best comment ever!!!
Reply
Babalu722
| 3
i work as a cashier, and i had a guy probably in his late 60's buy a pack of trojans, whipped cream and chocolate syrup
Reply
KMFiredancer
| 0
I was in line behind one of those... the cashier thought I was with him!
By
itzNaynay
| 0
You forgot the beer!!!
Reply
THRASHtillDEATH
| 6
Hell yeah, haha
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Nosrebor
| 8
that just goes without saying!
Reply
scarppy
| 0
hey y u no
Reply
gaga_fierce
| 0
Yesss, put the 69th thumbs up!