By Unemployed - 28/08/2016 17:16 - Australia - Hinchinbrook

Today, I discovered that my supervisor, who I thought liked me, actually thinks I am incompetent and lack emotional intelligence. I'm a student nurse and I've just listed her as my reference for our single, statewide job application. There's no way to change it. FML
I agree, your life sucks 14 702
You deserved it 1 274

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Wow, that is bullshit. Not telling someone that you think they need improvements in a region vital to their job is such a dick move. I really suggest trying to get help from someone that works in the application program and explaining the issue. I'd also seriously advise taking what she did up with her superior, because that was seriously inappropriate of her and almost sounds like she was trying to sabotage your career. It really sounds like she baited you into using her as a reference just so she could fuck you over...

There's only one way out: murder her. You can't give a bad reference from the grave!

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There's only one way out: murder her. You can't give a bad reference from the grave!

I'm sure prison isn't worth it. Can't get a decent job from there.

You don't need a job in prison; food, accommodation- it's all free!!

Or just throw her/his phone away or hide it until the Interview day. This way you're happy as well for doing that to him/her

That would be dumber than killing her

Wow, that is bullshit. Not telling someone that you think they need improvements in a region vital to their job is such a dick move. I really suggest trying to get help from someone that works in the application program and explaining the issue. I'd also seriously advise taking what she did up with her superior, because that was seriously inappropriate of her and almost sounds like she was trying to sabotage your career. It really sounds like she baited you into using her as a reference just so she could fuck you over...

Whoa whoa whoa, what exactly has this supervisor done that is worthy of running away and telling HR about? There is NOTHING here to suggest that they baited OP at all. Seems that OP just made a bad judgement. It happens. The supervisor may be perfectly civil and appropriate at work, and just happens to not like OP much as a person. They could potentially suggest that OP has some emotional training if they really need help with it but that's a pretty hard conversation in itself and if it didn't seem to be affecting her work then there'd really be no reason to bring it up. It would be quite rude to do so for no reason. Tbh, even if OP actually tried to explain this to someone, it could easily be interpreted as backing up the supervisor's thoughts - that OP lacks emotional intelligence, seeing as they clearly had no idea about their own relationship with the supervisor. I'm not saying that's necessarily the case, I don't know enough about OP. But it could certainly be seen that way.

Because giving a student false impressions on their skill set is really unethical for someone in a teaching/guiding position, for one, since they can't improve on it unless they know there is a problem. There's also the fact that it could be that OP might not actually be socially inept, and that the supervisor is simply a prolific liar. Or even that the supervisor just doesn't like OP and it makes them perceive OP as being a bad worker. Either way, the fact that the supervisor never tried to correct OP's behaviors that they found to be bad, means they are at best lazy and at worst, yes, manipulative. For two, maybe it's different in Australia, but in the USA, you generally ASK the person if you can use them as a reference. If someone asks and you don't feel you can give them a reference that is relatively positive, you tell them that you don't feel you are the best person to serve as a reference. If it IS the same in Australia, that would mean that the supervisor mislead OP.

#13 im from australia. its common courtesy to ensure you've asked the person to be your reference.

Wow! To me that seems like she literally set you up. Jealousy maybe? Either way, so sorry OP!

It sucks so much when you think you are doing a good job and then it turns out you aren't. Your supervisor should have told you. You aren't alone OP. Take care.

if your applications are anything like the one i did last year for SA, hopefully you were able to have three references, & if one doesnt sound the greatest, they check the other two. i wish you the best of luck!

You can't change your application but maybe you can change her mind. Have a coffee talk with her and find out the reason why she thought of you like that. It's good if she agrees to give compliments about you. If not, make sure she post the-best-FML-ever after that conversation with you. Cheers!

Would it be possible to include a warning on your application about your supervisor having a… speech impediment? You could try to convince them she's saying you're incontinent and lack emotional finned-pelicans (so you won't be distracted by your pets).

...she can’t change the application. That is, in fact, the original problem.

...she can’t change the application. That is, in fact, the original problem.

Looks like you really do lack emotional intelligence.

My first thought exactly. Of course, a supervisor’s job is to help employees under them become better, which requires the supervisor to make sure they are communicating effectively, so that part must’ve not happened either.

That really sucks. I know how it feels to find out a supervisor whom you thought liked you is in fact against you. It's not a nice feeling. Hopefully things work out somehow, OP. Best of luck.

"Emotional intelligence" is subjective and overrated. The current trendy way of prioritizing it in business is one of many ways that people favor their cronies. It's also ableist .

With that logic every metric used to choose applicants is “ableist”. Emotional intelligence is very important to nursing. Not excusing the behavior of the supervisor, just arguing the logic of your comment.