Miscellaneous: Today, I discovered that I am just tall enough and my hair is...

By Lilo4life - United States - San Francisco

Today, I discovered that I am just tall enough and my hair is just long enough, to get caught in the ceiling fan if I flip it over to dry it. FML

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24338

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Miscellaneous

Rock, hard place

Walk on the wild side

I'm late… for business!

By Annienomous - United States - Marion

Today, I witnessed a man die from a heart attack. When I told my dad later, he said "Lose some weight or you'll be next." FML

I agree, your life sucks

25149

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By leah

Whooped

Today, I was standing in the shower drying off when my sister came in the bathroom. She must have thought I was a burglar because she hit the shower curtain and punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1387

You deserved it

124

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I went on a date with my new boyfriend. When the check came, he asked, "Do you accept food stamps?" When the waiter said no, he checked in his wallet and said, "Well all I have is five dollars." I ended up picking up the $20 tab. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33005

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8322

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By Ann - United States

Today, I went to the store to buy some groceries. While I was at the store, an employee came up to me and said, "You're beautiful!" When I came home I told my husband what had just happened. My husband then asked, "What was wrong with him?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

54446

You deserved it

5458

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By ahhnotoy - United States

Today, I bought a box of Fruit Loops. When I got home, I noticed a free prize would be in the box. I sifted through the box, looking for the small toy. It wasn't in there. I don't know what is more sad, the fact that I got ripped off by a children's cereal or that I'm 21 and upset by it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53065

You deserved it

14547

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling with the lights off. It was 1AM, and I'd just finished watching a scary movie, so I was a little paranoid. I was about to fall asleep, when an eerie light lit the room. I jumped, got tangled in the sheets, and hit my head against the bed frame. Where'd the light come from? Not a space ship. Not someone breaking in. It was my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10536

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By Anonymous - United States - Brooklyn

Today, a coworker told me she may be in love with me. I admitted similar feelings and we agreed, since we're both happily married, not to spend time together anymore. Two hours later we were both promoted to run the same project, where we'll be "working hand in glove for the next couple of years." FML

I agree, your life sucks

56811

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14768

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to my grandmother's house to pick up her cat for the vet. She forgot who I was and sprayed me in the face with pepper spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37498

You deserved it

2403

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By suhleedah18 - United States

Today, I realized just how bad my problem with making eye contact is, when I caught myself looking the other way when the singer in a music video looked directly at the camera. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24759

You deserved it

4958

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By nbj10 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, my dad went snooping on my laptop, and saw that I'd recently looked up 2 Girls, 1 Cup. It was out of morbid curiosity, but he thinks I'm into "satanic porn", and confiscated every electronic device I own. Now I have to sneak to the library just to check my emails. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41975

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15242

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By alexbobalex - Aland Islands

Today, my mom found a pack of cigarettes in my pocket. She hates smoking, so she tore every single cigarette to pieces, then emptied a bag of kitty litter on them. On my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11872

You deserved it

57457

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By theflasher - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, a woman who works in the clinic across the road told me that my glass isn't frosted enough and she and all her patients can see me when I shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27455

You deserved it

3408

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By Z - United States

Today, after a large, dramatic fight with my girlfriend in a parking lot, we stopped arguing altogether and hugged, dropping the issue. Twenty seconds later, I accidentally slammed her hand in the car door, breaking two of her fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49747

You deserved it

14243

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By BriSwag4321

Today, I accidentally sent a nude to my girlfriend's father. He screenshotted it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1349

You deserved it

2832

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New revelation

Today, my Dad sat me down and told me that I was adopted. I was unbelievably shocked by this revelation and asked him why he'd never told me this before. His response was, "I didn't know!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

2227

You deserved it

173

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By wtf - United States

Today, I found out that my overprotective parents hired a private investigator a month ago, who since then has been watching my perfectly normal boyfriend, in case he "tries to rape or kill" me. We're both 25 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43203

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2881

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By Anonymous - United States - Amarillo

Today, my dog overturned and ate my trash, leaving coffee grounds and dog puke all over my floor. She also ate the broom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22553

You deserved it

2891

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me because I was "letting myself go". When I told the little girl I babysit in the afternoons why I was so upset, she looked at me for a moment before saying, "Well, I definitely can't blame him." FML

I agree, your life sucks

30593

You deserved it

8382

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, my boyfriend came over for dinner, but couldn't eat because he had just gotten his tongue pierced. My grandpa heard this, winked at my boyfriend and said "Can't eat now, but I bet that's all you'll be doing in a few weeks..." My super protective father was sitting right next to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

85766

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9534

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By blkchkrm - United States

Today, I decided I was going to do something nice for my parents for Christmas. So, I cleaned the entire house top to bottom, baked cookies, and made them both Christmas cards. What did I get in return? They asked me to wrap my four year old sister's presents, and let me know I got nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31830

You deserved it

2709

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By emergencyroom - United States - Parkton

Today, I locked myself out and had to enter my house via the back door. Thinking I was an intruder, my 7-year-old daughter slammed a metal rake into the back of my head. Nice to know she can take care of herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51383

You deserved it

9355

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By PineapplePizza - United States - Irwin

Today, I should be starting my last year of college next week. But no. My old advisor messed up my schedule so badly that there's no way I'll graduate for another year. So I'll be in school five years for a four year program because as a freshman I thought my advisor was helping me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13758

You deserved it

1359

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By Anonymous - United States - San Antonio

You did ask…

Today, I was visiting my 8-year-old nephew. He told me he learned about fire safety, so I asked him what he'd do if there were a fire right now. He pushed me out of the way and I fell, then he ran over me and out the front door, leaving me on the floor in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23863

You deserved it

4322

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By SkinsCastSelection - France

Today, I signed my own plaster-cast to make people believe that I actually have friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29793

You deserved it

7668

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By mustachioed - United States

Today, I tried to bleach my upper lip hair. I now have a bright red mustache. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18017

You deserved it

18759

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By BrewPack - United States - Slinger

Today, the couple who had written the offer we had accepted for our house withdrew it because apparently when they came by for the home inspection, my next door neighbor's teenage son tried to sell them heroin. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46981

You deserved it

3404

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By Loser

Today, at school, I offered my friend $5 to climb up a tree and jumped off. I was already having a hard day and just wanted a bit of a laugh. What I didn't expect was to end up in the hospital with a broken arm because my friend jumped on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1563

You deserved it

4249

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By jonhapimp - United States

Today, I found out that my Mom had taken out a loan out on my car from the repo man taking my car away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31886

You deserved it

2454

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By Pooping - Canada - Aldergrove

Today, while I was at work, a coworker began ranting about his theory that the government is going to create a disease that sterilises everyone, and use the antidote to control the population. I was just trying to take a crap in the stall next to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21791

You deserved it

1887

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By rachlette - United States - Seattle

Today, I coughed so hard that I fractured two ribs. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33420

You deserved it

2788

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By bullsonyourface

Bread is serious stuff

Today, it's my 6-year anniversary with my fiance, but due to a lot of different family issues, I had to drive 9 hours with my dad to go visit them. Long story short, there was a giant argument about bread, my dad stormed out and I'm left to deal with this shit storm. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1348

You deserved it

139

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By peestain - United Kingdom

Today, I babysat my neighbour's spoilt bratty twins. When I told them it was their bed time, they pushed me over. One then started smashing me with a plastic sword, and as I lay helpless on the floor the other one peed on me. I got owned by two five year olds. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20627

You deserved it

32022

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By dEpPrEsSeDgIrL - United States

Today, my dad decided to clean my 20 gallon fish tank. I had 6 fish. One of them was called a transparent fish, clear with a bright orange tail, which was my favorite. My dad didn't see it, and dumped the water out along with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35807

You deserved it

3909

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By sly - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided to come over and surprise me. When he got to my apartment and heard the shower running, he decided get in and join me. I was walking my dog, my mother is in town for the weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47000

You deserved it

4436

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By peace_lost - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I walked to her couch while kissing with our eyes closed. Stumbling, we reached the couch and dropped our bodies, her on top of me. What I didn't know was that her kitty, Elvis, was napping. Elvis was very angry. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42680

You deserved it

16116

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By QueueJumper - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was waiting in line at a clothes store when someone cut in in front of me, and the gentlemen in front of me. I shouted, "Hey! Queue starts back here!". He responded by pointing out the "gentlemen" in front was actually a very realistic mannequin. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38467

You deserved it

17523

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By Jazzyfayyye - United States

Today, my boy friend said "you know who you remind me of? Sarah Palin." And then for the next 15 minutes continued to discuss how ugly she is. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52212

You deserved it

3676

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By sleep deprived

Three years

Today, it's been three years since my sister gave me a kitten. Coincidentally, it’s also been three years since I've had sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1482

You deserved it

335

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, while working at a dollar store, I was clobbered by a woman because apparently, I was ripping her off by charging two dollars for two doughnuts. She didn't understand that she couldn't buy multiple items at once for one dollar. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33422

You deserved it

2666

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By Noname - United States

Today, I yelled at my spouse in front of 20 guests for not coming to blow out his birthday cake candles. Turns out he was in the other room, quietly changing his disabled friend's diaper. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22400

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Top comments

By mds9986 | 24

#6373511 - Friday 7 August 2015 1:20

Human helicopter

By Emmamazing | 26

#6373515 - Friday 7 August 2015 1:22

I have long hair. This is my biggest fear come true

COMMENTS

By mds9986 | 24

#6373511 - Friday 7 August 2015 1:20

Human helicopter

Noelletakumi | 36

#6373574 - Friday 7 August 2015 1:53

Ouch, I imagine that being very painful, OP.

LOLS_ftw | 11

#6374073 - Friday 7 August 2015 13:46

GET TO THE HELICHOPTER

By Emmamazing | 26

#6373515 - Friday 7 August 2015 1:22

I have long hair. This is my biggest fear come true

By triplebeerox | 27

#6373520 - Friday 7 August 2015 1:23

I would get really freaked out if something like that happened to me. What ended up happening? Did some hair get torn out?

HeadlessSparrow | 20

#6373691 - Friday 7 August 2015 3:56

oh no, the fan probably just ripped off from the ceiling

By Emmers__27 | 7

#6373522 - Friday 7 August 2015 1:23

Yikes, hope you and your hair are alright!

By beeferjay | 34

#6373526 - Friday 7 August 2015 1:23

get it on video, and follow up with the link.

rileyrae0000 | 23

#6373591 - Friday 7 August 2015 2:06

I don't think OP would ever want to experience this again, especially not for the enjoyment of random people

By samlovesham1234 | 9

#6373546 - Friday 7 August 2015 1:40

Maybe it's long enough to donate for making a wig?

By EclipseCandy6 | 24

#6373552 - Friday 7 August 2015 1:44

Holy shit are you okay?

By hoosiergirl94 | 31

#6373555 - Friday 7 August 2015 1:46

By dylanhasemann413 | 8

#6373556 - Friday 7 August 2015 1:46

So did the hair dry?

By rileyrae0000 | 23

#6373568 - Friday 7 August 2015 1:51

My scalp hurts from reading this. But wow you must be quite tall, have long hair, or just really short ceilings.