By Lilo4life - United States - San Francisco Today, I discovered that I am just tall enough and my hair is just long enough, to get caught in the ceiling fan if I flip it over to dry it. FML I agree, your life sucks 24328 You deserved it 2782 41 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By scarred for life - United States - Carmel Today, I realized my recent weight loss probably wasn't caused by working out and eating more healthily. It was from the tapeworm I discovered hanging out my ass after I took a crap. I had to pull it out with my bare hands. FML I agree, your life sucks 18355 Phew, glad it wasn't me 4029 92 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By haku4u - United States - Port Charlotte Today, I got served paperwork stating that my ex-fiancée is suing me again for child support. About 7 years ago, I proved via DNA testing within the court system that I was not the father the first time. I see a talk show in my future. FML I agree, your life sucks 45052 You deserved it 2902 71 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By melean - Trinidad and Tobago Today, on my way to school I dropped my money. As I turned to pick it up, I saw an old lady snatch it up. We began to argue when a police officer came over. Not only was I accused of being a disorderly thief, but that old lady just walked away with my lunch money for the entire week. FML I agree, your life sucks 41554 You deserved it 3051 145 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Wrongword - China - Shanghai Today, I congratulated a bride standing in front of a church in a white dress. Turns out she'd been stood up at the altar. She thrashed me with her bouquet. FML I agree, your life sucks 30511 You deserved it 4078 120 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia Today, I awkwardly had to comfort my 32 year old friend when he broke down crying in the middle of a crowded McDonald's. Apparently they no longer serve barbecue bacon cheeseburgers. FML I agree, your life sucks 32937 You deserved it 3727 238 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By nice education you've got there - United States - Monroe Today, my friends and I were exchanging stories with one another. I barely got a few sentences in before they started mocking and viciously insulting me for saying "swaggered", claiming it comes from the slang term "swag", and that they never thought I was a "dumbass hipster". Really now? FML I agree, your life sucks 37241 You deserved it 7270 116 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my very traditional parents told me that I should start a savings account for my marriage. I told them that I wouldn't get married until much later because I don't even have a boyfriend yet. They said, "Don't worry we already found a boy for you." FML I agree, your life sucks 39364 You deserved it 3808 93 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Papillion Today, I was left at home alone while my friends went on a trip to Paris I paid for. FML I agree, your life sucks 4320 You deserved it 642 16 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By marie - 2/12/2020 23:02 - United States - San Jose Gamers rise up Today, after a stressful day at work, I just wanted to go home and play video games. And then I broke my thumb. FML I agree, your life sucks 809 You deserved it 77 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Sylvania - United States Today, I was playing a medieval game with my brother, when he took all of his character's clothes off and said, "Let's have sex!" I looked at him and said, "UH YOU ARE MY BROTHER!" He turns and looks at me, smiling and says, "But not in the game!" I am a 19 year old girl. He is 12. FML I agree, your life sucks 77528 You deserved it 5554 325 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By awkward - United States - Oakland Today, I was out to dinner with a friend I had a crush on. The whole time, he was flirting with the waitress while I was trying to get him to notice me. When we got the check, he looked at her and said, "She's not my girlfriend, I only go out with pretty girls. So, can I have your number?" FML I agree, your life sucks 16881 You deserved it 1340 103 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Frank - United States Today, I came home from work tired and horny, and asked my girlfriend if she wanted to go make love. While all she had done all day is lay on the couch and watch television, she said, "I'm too tired, why don't you just go into the bathroom and grab a quick wank." FML I agree, your life sucks 38802 You deserved it 6363 261 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By oops - Canada - Victoria Today, I was on a date, and I went to put my arm around her, trying to be romantic, but my coordination went straight to hell. Instead of her shoulder, I ended up accidentally grabbing her tit. FML I agree, your life sucks 34010 You deserved it 8306 94 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, my boyfriend looked so unhappy in a photo we took that I downloaded an editing app, and edited the photo to make it look like he was smiling before posting it. FML I agree, your life sucks 1125 You deserved it 866 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Faithful - Singapore Today, my boyfriend told me that if I ever cheated on him, he'll chop my body up and dispose of all the parts, but keep my boobies, because he likes them. FML I agree, your life sucks 51113 You deserved it 7697 291 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By licensed_ginger - United States - Barberton Today, my boyfriend told me he didn't feel attractive. I tried to cheer him up by telling him that I find him very attractive, and so do my friends. He said that didn't matter, because my friends and I aren't attractive either. FML I agree, your life sucks 38349 You deserved it 4333 77 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Denver Today, I found a picture of myself on the "People of Walmart" site. FML I agree, your life sucks 31583 You deserved it 18004 140 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By appleville - United States Today, a customer at one of my tables left his phone number and a smiley face on the credit card slip. I was completely flattered until I looked at the bottom of the slip and realized that he had left me a $0.26 tip. FML I agree, your life sucks 33504 You deserved it 3064 52 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By soldiergirl - United States Today, my boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me because he "can't date someone who supports the war". We started dating because he thought I looked cute in my uniform. FML I agree, your life sucks 35993 You deserved it 3786 150 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 16/6/2020 14:01 All kinds of wrong Today, while at my friend's house, she had to leave the room for a few minutes. Her dad then put me in a headlock and told me that I had "better treat his daughter right if I ever wanted to walk again," because she's in love with me. Then he left. I'm a gay guy. FML I agree, your life sucks 1622 You deserved it 162 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada - Stoney Creek Today, I was woken up and kicked out of my friend's party at 3:00 in the morning. This wouldn't have been so bad if someone hadn't stolen my shoes. I had to walk for an hour in the rain, in my socks. FML I agree, your life sucks 1520 You deserved it 370 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Omegared - United States Today, I gave myself a bloody nose while trying to show my brother how to use a yo-yo. FML I agree, your life sucks 16287 You deserved it 25438 66 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 16/12/2020 05:02 - Germany - Emden Triage Today, I realised that Gmail has been sending lots of important messages directly into the spam folder, where I never saw them. All were from people who I had either contacted myself, or had regular contact with in the past. One address even had a filter on it, specifying, "Never send it to spam." FML I agree, your life sucks 988 You deserved it 105 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Richard - France Today, there was a new and extremely attractive girl at youth group, so I decided to introduce myself. Her reply was, "Wow, I've always wanted to meet a gay guy!" FML I agree, your life sucks 37225 You deserved it 4486 127 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Sunny - Canada - Ottawa Today, every time I write the word "analyst," I can't help but giggle because it begins with "anal." I'm 24, and studying to be a conflict analyst. FML I agree, your life sucks 22472 You deserved it 34009 112 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By AudraRose - United States Today, I have my very first gynecologist appointment. I'm 15. My mom wants to "be on the safe side" and make sure I'm not sexually active. This is my punishment for being a virgin. FML I agree, your life sucks 37375 You deserved it 3510 374 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By crunknasty - United States - El Cajon Today, I was on the toilet, when I noticed I could see my daughter dancing in the other room in the mirror, so I took a picture with my phone. After I uploaded it, people pointed out that I was visible in the picture, sitting on the toilet and smiling. FML I agree, your life sucks 16993 You deserved it 61620 115 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I sent the girl I like a Twinkie with a note saying "Enjoy! You deserve it". I found out later through an angry email that someone had written "you damn fatty" on the end of the note. FML I agree, your life sucks 32069 You deserved it 6871 130 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Jack00412 - United States - Montague Today, I walked outside to find my 3 year old daughter and her pet fish playing together on the swings. FML I agree, your life sucks 45190 You deserved it 5507 98 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jellymoon14 - United States Today, after being recently laid off at work due to "cutbacks", I went job searching around town. During my drive, I cruised past my old workplace and saw a "now hiring" sign in their window. FML I agree, your life sucks 37749 You deserved it 4020 207 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By EwokLover17 - United States Today, my iPod came back from repair and still had a distorted sound. I've been through calls, meetings, and repairs with Apple since Christmas, and it still sounds like the half speaker in my old car. Then I found out the new Nano requires you to push the headphones plug in harder. FML I agree, your life sucks 6594 You deserved it 41845 134 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Today, one of the customers at work shat all down the side of the toilet and on the floor. They didn’t even try to make it in the bowl. Guess who had to clean it up. FML I agree, your life sucks 2180 You deserved it 166 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ugh Today, I got a job offer and was asked to come in at 5am for training. I sat there for about 2 hours before giving up. I was at the wrong site. FML I agree, your life sucks 2162 You deserved it 2803 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Spiller - United States Today, I took the bus to work. I was exhausted and had a big mug of coffee. Half asleep and thinking I was in my car, I reached forward to put it in the "cup holder" during the ride. When I let go, I poured hot coffee not only all over myself, but also on the large, angry-looking man next to me. FML I agree, your life sucks 10296 You deserved it 28931 41 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Southampton Today, a couple asked me to donate my eggs so they could start a family. When I refused, I was called heartless by my ex-husband and the woman he cheated on me with for over two years. FML I agree, your life sucks 39799 You deserved it 2382 110 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By QueenCortana Tiffany Turner Today, my toddler shat on her carpet again. She also decided to play in it. This is the third time in a month. She's fully potty trained, and thinks it’s funny. FML I agree, your life sucks 1504 You deserved it 284 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By coloradoman - United States Today, while flying on American Airlines back from visiting family, a new born puked its breakfast all over my HP mini, knocked my orange juice ino my lap, and than coughed up another layer on top of it all. I couldn't change my pants because of we were about to experience turbulance. FML I agree, your life sucks 40421 You deserved it 3092 164 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By akvan - 30/10/2020 06:01 - Canada - Toronto Sounds lovely Today, my coworker, who keeps calling me Mexican even though she knows I'm not, is telling everyone that I act like a bitch to our boss, even though she's the one who is always contradicting and fighting with her, and I always try to keep everything professional. No other jobs are calling me back. FML I agree, your life sucks 945 You deserved it 54 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Superdumb Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about sex and I asked him if he had ever finished inside a woman. He looked directly into my eyes and said, "Babe... I have a son, remember?" Yeah, I forgot. FML I agree, your life sucks 1671 You deserved it 4888 25 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Heatherrolstonn - United States - Suwanee Today, I received an email asking for a Skype interview at 11 am sharp. I waited for half an hour. He never even accepted my contact request. FML I agree, your life sucks 12779 You deserved it 920 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mds9986 | 24 #6373511 - Friday 7 August 2015 1:20 Human helicopter Send a private message 178 2 Reply
By Emmamazing | 26 #6373515 - Friday 7 August 2015 1:22 I have long hair. This is my biggest fear come true Send a private message 38 6 Reply
By mds9986 | 24 #6373511 - Friday 7 August 2015 1:20 Human helicopter Send a private message 178 2 Reply
Reply Noelletakumi | 36 #6373574 - Friday 7 August 2015 1:53 Ouch, I imagine that being very painful, OP. Send a private message 3 5 Reply
Reply LOLS_ftw | 11 #6374073 - Friday 7 August 2015 13:46 GET TO THE HELICHOPTER Send a private message 5 1 Reply
By Emmamazing | 26 #6373515 - Friday 7 August 2015 1:22 I have long hair. This is my biggest fear come true Send a private message 38 6 Reply
By triplebeerox | 27 #6373520 - Friday 7 August 2015 1:23 I would get really freaked out if something like that happened to me. What ended up happening? Did some hair get torn out? Send a private message 5 13 Reply
Reply HeadlessSparrow | 20 #6373691 - Friday 7 August 2015 3:56 oh no, the fan probably just ripped off from the ceiling Send a private message 22 2 Reply
By Emmers__27 | 7 #6373522 - Friday 7 August 2015 1:23 Yikes, hope you and your hair are alright! Send a private message 13 0 Reply
By beeferjay | 34 #6373526 - Friday 7 August 2015 1:23 get it on video, and follow up with the link. Send a private message 5 21 Reply
Reply rileyrae0000 | 23 #6373591 - Friday 7 August 2015 2:06 I don't think OP would ever want to experience this again, especially not for the enjoyment of random people Send a private message 21 1 Reply
By samlovesham1234 | 9 #6373546 - Friday 7 August 2015 1:40 Maybe it's long enough to donate for making a wig? Send a private message 10 2 Reply
By EclipseCandy6 | 24 #6373552 - Friday 7 August 2015 1:44 Holy shit are you okay? Send a private message 12 2 Reply
By dylanhasemann413 | 8 #6373556 - Friday 7 August 2015 1:46 So did the hair dry? Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By rileyrae0000 | 23 #6373568 - Friday 7 August 2015 1:51 My scalp hurts from reading this. But wow you must be quite tall, have long hair, or just really short ceilings. Send a private message 20 1 Reply
Today, I had to resort to telling my boyfriend that I have a praise kink, just so that he would actually compliment me. FML I agree, your life sucks 549 You deserved it 166 2 Comments
Today, I had a huge argument with my wife because I declined a lunch invite with a married couple who live nearby. My wife has severe social anxiety, so... I agree, your life sucks 840 You deserved it 129 10 Comments