Kids: Today, I discovered my 10 month old is terrified of my laugh.... - FML

By easily amused - United States

Today, I discovered my 10 month old is terrified of my laugh. Every time I start to laugh, she screams in terror. It's getting depressing. FML

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Understandable

Coherence dude, do you have it?

Harsh

By ihatemylife - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. When I asked her why she did, she said that the psychic that she was texting (one of those 44644 numbers) said we have a 2% compatibility rating. How does that explain 4 years of happy dating? FML

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By anamota89 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML

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By skyhigh - United States

Today, I discovered my parents have spent my college fund because "2012 will happen" before I graduate. FML

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By Alex Kiwi - 2/4/2020 20:00

Preemptive strike

Today, I grounded my son for vaping. However, the coronavirus has already grounded all of us. FML

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By cjd - Canada - Montreal

Today, in health class we were watching a documentary about anxiety. My teacher asked if any of us often feel anxious. I was too anxious to raise my hand, and went into a minor panic attack. FML

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By pandapantsMD - United States - Chesapeake

Today, my fiancé freaked when he noticed the tattoo on my wrist, and demanded to know when I got it. It was two years before we even started dating. FML

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By Anonyme

Today, I went to my first ever job interview, in a totally stressed out state. The employer's first question was: "What's your name?" I forgot. FML

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By susan - United States

Today, my husband actually was cleaning our bathrooms. I had to pee and the floor was wet in my upstairs bathroom. My wonderful husband told me to go downstairs. I did and sat on the toilet seat which felt wet. He forgot he had sprayed it with Tilex. Chemical burns on your butt are great. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I finally met the cute guy I've been seeing around town. Bad news is, I was drunk off my ass, and when he told me his name, I burst out laughing because it's the same as my puppy's. He did not take it well. FML

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By Drafty - United States - Sylmar

Today, a stray dog came up to my living room window. My pitbull went into attack mode and tried to jump through said window, while it was closed. Now I have to pay to replace the window, and pay to get stitches for my idiot dog. FML

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By unsurprised - United States

Today, I visited my friend in a nasty part of town. When I saw the shattered window of the car next to me, and the missing stereo, I moved my car to a safer location. Luckily, though, I have a common car, so the thieves were able to jimmy the lock and steal my stereo without making any noise. FML

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By Husband

Today, my wife called to me from across the house just to look at the penis-shaped period bloodstain on the back of her underwear. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was drinking from a water bottle while in a lecture. The water caught in my throat and it felt like I was choking to death. Instead of asking me if I was okay or trying to help, the guy sitting next to me told me to shut up. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Madison

Today, after countless nights spent together and flirty texts, I decided ask my crush on a date while at a party. We went on a walk and held hands. Just as I asked him, he said no, let go of my hand and briskly walked away. He was my ride home. FML

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By pinchy - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he was taking me out to eat to his favorite restaurant. He said I could order whatever I wanted and he'd pay for it. He took me to Red Lobster, knowing full well that I'm allergic to seafood. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to take our first shower together. When he came into the room, he had swimming trunks on. FML

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By steppppphhhhhh - United States - Pacifica

Today, I got called an "evil Nazi bitch" because I let a customer know that this is the last day our store will have free plastic bags. FML

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By SucksToBeMe - United States

Today, I had a meeting with the CEO about a promising job with good pay and benefits. Upon meeting, we immediately recognized each other. He was someone I used to make fun of in school all the time. He responded by refusing to interview me and had security throw me out by force. Karma bites. FML

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By YipYop - United States - Brandon

Today, I rode a skateboard down a street past a busy two-story outdoor cafe. As I rode by, a group of people thought it'd be funny to kick stray pebbles at my wheels, trying to make me trip. It worked. My backpack ripped open in the process letting all my school-work float away in the wind. FML

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By notgoodenough38 - United States

Today, my girlfriend left me for my sister. I can't stop thinking about all those days they went out alone for "girl time." FML

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By SetoAyumi - United States

Today, a neighbor came by while I was cooking. She asked for some of my cheese, so I gave her a big slice and told her I only had cheddar. She angrily refused to accept the slice, and made her way to my fridge. She then yelled at me for not having an assortment of cheeses. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I told my dad that I had a herpes infection. He said "Good." FML

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By ben - United States

Today, I took my 5 year-old son to the barber shop. When the man finishes with him, I tell the guy, "while we're here, I might as well get a trim too." My son then exclaims very loudly in front of a very full barber's shop, "Dad! You don't need a haircut, you need hair!" FML

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By aspiemeanswell - Germany - Rudolstadt

Today, my boyfriend gushed for several minutes about how amazing it is that I suddenly look hot when he takes his glasses off. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

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By IronMonkey - United States

Useless tools

Today, I work for a company that sells a leading brand of condoms. They give away free condoms to employees at the office. I haven't gotten laid since I began working here. FML

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By nixwolfwood

Today, I woke up to a fog. Literally. A pipe burst in my apartment and scalding water was everywhere. To make matters worse, when I called maintenance he told me he'd come by later, hung up on me, and turned his phone off. He did eventually show up, but it was 5 hours later, well after I'd paid a plumber $200. FML

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By Bekah - United States

Today, I finished reading a book about the treatment of mental patients and decided to use some of the strategies on my dad. We've never gotten along better. FML

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By PghSportsNation - United States

Today, I awoke to my cat with micro pellets all over him. He'd destroyed a pillow containing them, and now there are thousands of these pellets throughout the entire house. My vacuum is broken. FML

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By VoiceMail - Australia

Today, when I picked up my repeat subscription of anti-anxiety medication, they had changed the packaging to be more 'child safe'. Now it's so hard to get the pills out that I had an anxiety attack trying to take one. FML

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By 1DisGR8

Today, while writing a midterm, my period came unexpectedly. Too bad my male professor was the one to notice and not me. FML

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By Rejected. - United Kingdom

Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend of one year when an attractive girl walks over. She asks him, "Is this your girlfriend?" He replied "That depends... are you single?" FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Dearborn

Today, I learned that if you go through your best friend's phone, you can find sexy texts and nude pictures between him and your girlfriend. FML

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By fmlsheffgirl - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Today, after months of putting up with it, I finally asked my manager not to put me on shifts with this old guy who is racist, sexist and lazy. This was how I found out that he died over the weekend. FML

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By Bonngoo - United States

Today, at school, we were supposed to say something that we are thankful for. When I was about to speak, one of the girls at my table said, "It's okay, you can say PornHub." FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, while out for lunch, a guy approached me and asked for my number. I politely declined. To my dismay, he dropped to his knees, grabbed his head, and started moaning about how nobody ever gives him a chance. I felt the accusing stares. FML

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By ITSnotFUNNYtoMEass - United States

Today, my mom talked about how it's interesting how there's so many different size of penises. She also told me that since she's doing hormone therapy she's able to orgasm a LOT more. We were stuck in stop and go traffic for 3 hours. When I turned on the radio, she turned it off and talked more. FML

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By pubes - United States

Today, I came back to my room and sat down at my desk to find pile short, curly hairs on it. Neither me or my roommate have curly hair, and it isn't mine. I think he trimmed his pubes over my desk and forgot to clean it up. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Carbondale

Today, I ran into my favorite teacher from high school, the one that really inspired me to become one myself. I told her that I'm in my last year of college preparing to become a teacher, to which she replied, "Wow, they really are letting anyone have a crack at being a teacher these days." FML

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By hair2daygone4ever - United States

Today, my four-year-old daughter thought it'd be funny to cut my hair while I was sleeping. FML

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Top comments

By SasaCeceGogo | 18

#5713180 - Saturday 12 October 2013 12:05

Let me guess, does metal relax her as well?

By Kiwimaid | 9

#5713182 - Saturday 12 October 2013 12:05

OK, that is kinda tough, but don't stop laughing. In fact, laugh MORE so that she'll get used to it.
I knew a ababy boy like this, he outgrew it with lots of exposure :)

COMMENTS

By SasaCeceGogo | 18

#5713180 - Saturday 12 October 2013 12:05

Let me guess, does metal relax her as well?

By Kiwimaid | 9

#5713182 - Saturday 12 October 2013 12:05

OK, that is kinda tough, but don't stop laughing. In fact, laugh MORE so that she'll get used to it.
I knew a ababy boy like this, he outgrew it with lots of exposure :)

Reply

SmuggletheBudgie | 15

#5713217 - Saturday 12 October 2013 13:01

yeah exposure is the best course of action babies are like sponges so they can get overwhelmed by everything being so new and foreign.

Reply

Wowxoxo | 17

#5713343 - Saturday 12 October 2013 16:38

Or try classical conditioning

Reply

Epikouros | 31

#5713353 - Saturday 12 October 2013 16:42

Maybe conditioning is the problem. If you tend to laugh when you're surprised, the baby will associate the sound with danger.

Reply

Axipiter | 24

#5713365 - Saturday 12 October 2013 16:46

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

iLike2Teabag | 27

#5713673 - Saturday 12 October 2013 21:21

#39 good idea. Maybe if we taser every child abuse jokester on FML, there would be fewer crappy jokes.

Reply

TurtleLightning | 7

#6029480 - Wednesday 6 August 2014 18:29

I would say tie her to a chair an laugh in her face

By micha090 | 21

#5713184 - Saturday 12 October 2013 12:06

Dont worry OP, i know babies who are scared of their own fart. Your baby will get over your laughter soon.

Reply

jw90 | 18

#5713209 - Saturday 12 October 2013 12:34

@ 7 it's actually quite common. A lot of babies are scared of a lot of things at first. You've just got to get them used to it.

By Jocgre | 13

#5713186 - Saturday 12 October 2013 12:08

:( sorry OP

By niftyismybitch | 21

#5713190 - Saturday 12 October 2013 12:12

Are you Janice from friends ?

Reply

NoFlippinWai | 24

#5713239 - Saturday 12 October 2013 13:40

or Fran Dreshier (sp) her laugh terrifies me and I am 24.

Reply

perdix | 29

#5713263 - Saturday 12 October 2013 14:35

Daphne from Seinfeld?

"like Elmer Fudd sitting on a juicer."

Reply

perdix | 29

#5713310 - Saturday 12 October 2013 16:05

Oops, I meant Naomi.

Thanks for the catch ;)

By juststephhere | 23

#5713204 - Saturday 12 October 2013 12:25

That's cruelly really sad! Maybe laugh a tad quieter?

Reply

nnnope | 26

#5713284 - Saturday 12 October 2013 15:19

how is it cruel? OR sad? it's just a baby being a baby. jebus.

By wisericky | 12

#5713205 - Saturday 12 October 2013 12:25

You could try laughing like Spongebob or Mandark. Shouldn't take long for you to get into the habit.

Reply

mFUNdo21 | 17

#5713334 - Saturday 12 October 2013 16:32

hahaha hahahahaha. hahaha hahahahaha

Reply

meladuh | 16

#5714319 - Sunday 13 October 2013 12:16

That comment with that profile pic. (Y)

By mastervuk | 9

#5713208 - Saturday 12 October 2013 12:30

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

xxthexmisfitxx | 25

#5713244 - Saturday 12 October 2013 14:04

someone else flag this down! I accidentally thumbed it up and it won't go down Dx

Reply

nnnope | 26

#5713288 - Saturday 12 October 2013 15:21

not sure if talking about the comment

or priapism

By monnanon | 13

#5713210 - Saturday 12 October 2013 12:35

my son used to do that with clapping. loud noises can startle them. i wouldnt worry too much OP

By jw90 | 18

#5713211 - Saturday 12 October 2013 12:35

Your baby will eventually get used to hearing it OP. Especially if you laugh everyday. Don't let it depress you.