Today, I discovered my 10 month old is terrified of my laugh.... - FML

By easily amused - 12/10/2013 05:40 - United States

Today, I discovered my 10 month old is terrified of my laugh. Every time I start to laugh, she screams in terror. It's getting depressing. FML

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Understandable

The student becomes the master

You snooze, you lose

By Anonymous - 1/8/2013 07:36 - United States - Goodyear

Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks gave me an ultimatum: marry her, or she kills herself. FML

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By supapimpin - 25/9/2012 15:09 - United States

Today, my wife of four years revealed to me that she once had sex with six men at once back in college. Apparently she still fantasizes about it when we have sex. FML

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By aragmir - 18/12/2016 06:10 - Sweden - Stockholm

Today, while working at a nursing home, I was alone in the station and figured I could sneak one out. It wound up being very loud, and I could hear the faint snickering of a patient in the next room. Every time he saw me for the rest of the day he would burst out laughing. FML

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By Incompetent - 2/5/2016 12:27 - Pakistan - Lahore

Today, my boss admitted that he seriously regrets hiring me, but can't really do anything about it because that would make the senior management question his judgment, making him look bad. So he's just 'putting up' with me. FML

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By Anonymous - 19/3/2014 06:25 - United States - Rochester

Today, I was telling my friends about a date I had recently that went badly, because the guy turned out to be a moron. I said the last straw was when I used the word "decipher" and was met with a blank stare. I was then met with more blank stares. FML

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By buggedout - 25/11/2009 08:24 - United States

Today, I realized that when the pest control man said that we may see a few more bugs in the next few days, what he meant was "your kitchen will be covered in them." It's the day before Thanksgiving and I have several people invited over for the Holiday. FML

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By Vince - 9/12/2011 19:38 - Canada

Today, I was cuddling up on the couch with my girlfriend, when my drunken mother walked in the room, slurred out, "Room for one more?" and leaped on top of us. FML

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By yrfavweapon - 2/7/2010 19:29 - United States

Today, after two hours, I finally got my very cranky, sick baby to fall asleep. Five minutes later, a neighbor started shooting off fireworks. FML

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By cllutz - 7/2/2011 03:18 - United States

Today, I found out my husband is sleeping with my best friend. The best part? We all just signed a 12 month essentially non-breakable lease on a house together. FML

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By happybirthday2me - 19/6/2019 19:00 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, it's my 25th birthday, I celebrated it by cooking my favourite meal for my parents and sister, while they watched TV and house-hunted for my sister. I have yet to hear a happy birthday, receive a card, a present or a phone call. Oh, and my parents are on a diet, so they complained my cooking wasn’t "on their plan." FML

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By AnnaMarie. - 28/2/2009 20:41 - United States

Today, I was standing in the parking lot with my sister, after my aunt's funeral, when my grandma walks up and says to my sister, "You're the one going places in life, I'm proud to have you as a grand daughter." She then looked at me, and walked away. FML

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By MexicanMe - 14/9/2012 14:13 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had breakfast with his grandmother. She told him how I'm prettier than "that Mexican" he'd brought home for dinner last week. We had dinner with her last week, and I'm that same Mexican. She then went on to how Mexicans are what's wrong with the economy. FML

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By unforgettablee - 29/4/2013 07:08 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was getting into the mood with my boyfriend. Ten minutes into it, I told him to "teach me a lesson." His response: "I ain't no teacher." FML

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By Bad Uncle - 13/5/2018 19:00

Today, I came home to my mother, wife, sister, and certain family members cussing me out. My daughter and niece told them that I took them to visit and pray at The Church of Satan. Girls! It's The Church of Saint Anne! FML

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By Karen - 5/3/2012 02:00 - United States

Today, in the middle of sex my boyfriend asked if he could use the bathroom. It would've been fine, if he didn't fall asleep on the toilet. FML

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By Anonymous - 8/5/2020 23:00

Candid camera

Today, I prominently touched my boobs and put my hand inside my shirt to adjust my bra… all while I had my camera on during a Zoom meeting with the whole department FML

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By Bummed - 12/6/2016 19:44

Today, I found out that after interviewing for two jobs at great companies, I was neck and neck with one other person for each position. They both offered the job to the other person. FML

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By Nomoreballs - 10/7/2012 23:10 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I went to an amusement park with my ex in the hopes of re-kindling our relationship. While taking a break at the petting zoo, I got rammed in the balls by a goat. She laughed and patted the goat. FML

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By Anonymous - 6/10/2015 04:18 - United States - Lake Oswego

Today, at my annual checkup, the doc looks down at my foot and says, "Oh, you have an extra toenail. 6, huh?" Then sort of scraping at the side of my foot below the pinky toe, he pulls off a long piece of dead, dried skin and says, "Oh." FML

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By Unlucky - 24/5/2010 00:22 - Australia

Today, I have both a cold and a period. Tomorrow, I will have a cold, my period and my wisdom teeth taken out. FML

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By Anonymous - 6/7/2015 01:48 - United States - Tampa

Today, I was bored of doing nothing so I decided to take my 4-year-old brother and 3 of our dogs to a school playground nearby. When we got there, one of the four of them pooped in the field. It wasn't one of the dogs. FML

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By TooSunnyForSkin - 5/6/2013 04:22 - United States - Huntington

Today, I found out my work gave me a vacation for my performance. It's a trip to somewhere in the Caribbean, with the nickname "The Sunniest Place on Earth." I have skin cancer. FML

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By unemployable - 5/12/2010 00:08 - United States

Today, I had an important job interview. The interviewer really seemed to like me. Instead of hiring me, he asked me out on a date. FML

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By JAMjessie - 20/9/2016 16:54 - United States

Today, I found out that my boss's ex-husband is my company manager. They are one office space apart and constantly shouting about one another. I'm in that one office space between them. In the office across from me? Their daughter. FML

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By Syd - 21/12/2012 16:00 - United States - Plano

Today, I looked at my neighbor's empty lawn; he's an old guy and he usually has the best Christmas lights. We knew he might not be able to do them this year, so I felt bad and I did them for him. Later, a neighbor asked about them and I told her that I helped out. She said, "You do know he died, right?" FML

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By Username - 16/7/2010 04:17 - France

Today, my wife, daughter, and I get to spend the next 4 hours in the ER. Why? Because we're all throwing up at the same time. At least it counts as a family activity. FML

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By Real Life Sucks - 26/5/2015 16:50 - United States

Today, it's been exactly 2 years since I graduated college. I make less money in my full-time job now than I did working part-time in college. FML

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By Radioo - 18/1/2010 09:00 - United States

Today, my rabbit died. He died a painful death from ingesting too much carpet. I now have no rabbit and a patchy carpet. FML

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By Anonymous - 21/9/2009 20:22 - United States

Today, I got a new computer because my old one crashed, deleting all music, photos, and documents. I still had all my music on my iPod though, and went to sync it to the new computer. By accident, my younger brother pulled the cord out before it was done, deleting all 3,000 songs forever. FML

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By ben - 18/9/2009 06:17 - United States

Today, I took my 5 year-old son to the barber shop. When the man finishes with him, I tell the guy, "while we're here, I might as well get a trim too." My son then exclaims very loudly in front of a very full barber's shop, "Dad! You don't need a haircut, you need hair!" FML

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By dummy - 11/7/2011 19:21 - United States

Today, while babysitting a five year old, I found a cartoon called Metalocalypse for him to watch while I made dinner. I didn't realize it was an "adult" cartoon until afterwards. He watched a whole episode about a clown with a cocaine problem. FML

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By mista hunna - 8/9/2016 05:31 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I found the dog I lost while I was dog sitting. It was with its new adoptive family. FML

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By Anonameow - 2/1/2016 16:57 - United States - Fairfax

Today, after driving for four hours to visit my best friend for the New Years break, she still hasn't finished up her skype conversation and left her room to greet me. She knows I'm here. I've spent the last hours watching youtube videos with her cat. FML

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By Anonymous - 20/1/2011 17:18 - Philippines

Today, I wanted to do something special for my upcoming second anniversary with my girlfriend, so I decided to make a short animation of our lives together since we were preschoolers. In the middle of working on the storyboard, she called and broke up with me. FML

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By CalebNotShomo - 25/12/2014 15:25 - United States - Houston

Today, my boss sent me a text message saying, "You're fired. Merry Christmas!" FML

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By Anonymous - 1/3/2013 12:02 - United States - Belmont

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, because he didn't trust himself not to cheat on me. What? FML

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By Anon - 17/2/2012 20:43 - United States

Today, I sneezed while I was in the middle of getting a root canal. I managed to warn the dentist that I was going to sneeze, but he didn't manage to get the tools out of my mouth in time. FML

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By depressed - 10/3/2013 02:05 - United States - Hull

Today, I finally told my dad about how I've been diagnosed with clinical depression. He began to recite a commercial for depression meds, but he couldn't finish because he was overwhelmed with laughter. FML

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By lamb-chop - 2/12/2008 06:32 - France

Today, my philosophy teacher asked me about my parents. I replied that my mum was a cleaner and my dad was a bus driver. In an astonished voice, she said, "But, you're clever..." FML

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By Anonymousagb - 24/4/2009 15:18 - United Arab Emirates

Today, as I was washing the dishes, I felt what I thought was a mosquito on my leg. I kicked at it with my foot only to realize that I had just kicked my adopted puppy in the face. Now, whenever I come into a room, he runs to the corner and pees. FML

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Top comments

By SasaCeceGogo | 18

#5713180 - Saturday 12 October 2013 12:05

Let me guess, does metal relax her as well?

By Kiwimaid | 9

#5713182 - Saturday 12 October 2013 12:05

OK, that is kinda tough, but don't stop laughing. In fact, laugh MORE so that she'll get used to it.
I knew a ababy boy like this, he outgrew it with lots of exposure :)

Comments

By SasaCeceGogo | 18

#5713180 - Saturday 12 October 2013 12:05

Let me guess, does metal relax her as well?

By Kiwimaid | 9

#5713182 - Saturday 12 October 2013 12:05

OK, that is kinda tough, but don't stop laughing. In fact, laugh MORE so that she'll get used to it.
I knew a ababy boy like this, he outgrew it with lots of exposure :)

Reply

SmuggletheBudgie | 15

#5713217 - Saturday 12 October 2013 13:01

yeah exposure is the best course of action babies are like sponges so they can get overwhelmed by everything being so new and foreign.

Reply

Wowxoxo | 17

#5713343 - Saturday 12 October 2013 16:38

Or try classical conditioning

Reply

Epikouros | 31

#5713353 - Saturday 12 October 2013 16:42

Maybe conditioning is the problem. If you tend to laugh when you're surprised, the baby will associate the sound with danger.

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Axipiter | 24

#5713365 - Saturday 12 October 2013 16:46

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

iLike2Teabag | 27

#5713673 - Saturday 12 October 2013 21:21

#39 good idea. Maybe if we taser every child abuse jokester on FML, there would be fewer crappy jokes.

Reply

TurtleLightning | 7

#6029480 - Wednesday 6 August 2014 18:29

I would say tie her to a chair an laugh in her face

By micha090 | 21

#5713184 - Saturday 12 October 2013 12:06

Dont worry OP, i know babies who are scared of their own fart. Your baby will get over your laughter soon.

Reply

jw90 | 18

#5713209 - Saturday 12 October 2013 12:34

@ 7 it's actually quite common. A lot of babies are scared of a lot of things at first. You've just got to get them used to it.

By Jocgre | 13

#5713186 - Saturday 12 October 2013 12:08

:( sorry OP

By niftyismybitch | 21

#5713190 - Saturday 12 October 2013 12:12

Are you Janice from friends ?

Reply

NoFlippinWai | 24

#5713239 - Saturday 12 October 2013 13:40

or Fran Dreshier (sp) her laugh terrifies me and I am 24.

Reply

perdix | 29

#5713263 - Saturday 12 October 2013 14:35

Daphne from Seinfeld?

"like Elmer Fudd sitting on a juicer."

Reply

perdix | 29

#5713310 - Saturday 12 October 2013 16:05

Oops, I meant Naomi.

Thanks for the catch ;)

By juststephhere | 23

#5713204 - Saturday 12 October 2013 12:25

That's cruelly really sad! Maybe laugh a tad quieter?

Reply

nnnope | 26

#5713284 - Saturday 12 October 2013 15:19

how is it cruel? OR sad? it's just a baby being a baby. jebus.

By wisericky | 12

#5713205 - Saturday 12 October 2013 12:25

You could try laughing like Spongebob or Mandark. Shouldn't take long for you to get into the habit.

Reply

mFUNdo21 | 17

#5713334 - Saturday 12 October 2013 16:32

hahaha hahahahaha. hahaha hahahahaha

Reply

meladuh | 16

#5714319 - Sunday 13 October 2013 12:16

That comment with that profile pic. (Y)

By mastervuk | 9

#5713208 - Saturday 12 October 2013 12:30

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

xxthexmisfitxx | 25

#5713244 - Saturday 12 October 2013 14:04

someone else flag this down! I accidentally thumbed it up and it won't go down Dx

Reply

nnnope | 26

#5713288 - Saturday 12 October 2013 15:21

not sure if talking about the comment

or priapism

By monnanon | 13

#5713210 - Saturday 12 October 2013 12:35

my son used to do that with clapping. loud noises can startle them. i wouldnt worry too much OP

By jw90 | 18

#5713211 - Saturday 12 October 2013 12:35

Your baby will eventually get used to hearing it OP. Especially if you laugh everyday. Don't let it depress you.