Today, I discovered my 10 month old is terrified of my laugh.... - FML

By easily amused - 12/10/2013 05:40 - United States

Today, I discovered my 10 month old is terrified of my laugh. Every time I start to laugh, she screams in terror. It's getting depressing. FML

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Ambien conversations are the worst

Breaking Badly

The end of the road

By creepster - 11/2/2010 01:39 - Canada

Today, I was hit on by an older man. I rolled my eyes at him and informed him I was 16, hoping that would get him to leave me alone. He shrugged and said, "We're both human." FML

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By guiltyschuldig49 - 28/5/2020 14:00

Noise annoys

Today, and for months, my upstairs neighbor has been stomping on their floors, hard enough to shake our walls. We thought it was their child, but found out it’s the mother. She took up running, and due to the pandemic, she does it in the living room. She's already been told to stop. Repeatedly. I work 12-hour nights. FML

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By Anonymous - 23/5/2012 01:24 - United States

Today, I found out that my little brother has been rubbing my toothbrush in dog shit for the last month because I accidentally broke one of his toys. FML

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By upsetandannoyed - 1/1/2012 05:41 - United States

Today, my friend set me up with a cute guy who is very germaphobic. So, I spent 4 hours cleaning my apartment. 2 minutes into the date, I sneezed. He politely told me he wasn't feeling well and left. FML

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By fmjob - 21/7/2009 04:39 - Canada

Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML

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By Anonymous - 27/9/2014 03:30 - New Zealand

Today, my boyfriend tried to be dominant during sex. It was so out of character for him, I couldn't help but break into hysterical laughter. FML

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By Anonymous - 4/4/2009 02:55 - Canada

Today, my siblings came home for the weekend. At dinner, my dad started complaining at how one of my siblings had gotten fired, one was failing college, and the other was gay. He went on to say I was 17 and already had a bright future. I'm pregnant. FML

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By Jaymail - 17/8/2020 08:01

It's close enough

Today, after many hours studying a complete course of Spanish, I felt really good. I had accomplished something, something I could really use next week when I fly to Mexico on vacation. Then I found out what I had learned was Spanish as they speak it in Spain, not how they speak it in Latin America. FML

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By Anonymous - 25/8/2015 06:49 - United States

Today, while in line at the supermarket, I told the lady behind me that she had a cute baby. She shot me a disgusted look and straight up accused me of being a pedophile. FML

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By Anonymous - 5/12/2010 01:28 - United States

Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. The problem is she convinced me to get a vasectomy two years ago. FML

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By subduedbeast - 27/10/2014 18:48 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend for what I thought would be a romantic horse-drawn carriage ride. We didn't expect the horse to die in the middle of it. FML

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By Anonymous - 31/7/2012 03:36 - United States - Chicago

Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML

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By WeakerThanaLittleGirl - 5/2/2013 01:00 - United States

Today, after weeks of practice, I proudly did 9 chin-ups on my chin-up bar. As soon as I was done, my 11-year-old daughter came over and banged out 12 of them. Then she wiped her sweaty hands off and did 8 more. Then she gave me pointers on my technique. FML

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By Anonymous - 19/3/2018 15:00

Today, my boss yelled at me in front of several customers for gesturing too much while I talk, because it's "unprofessional". I was using sign language. FML

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By awkwardencounters - 12/11/2013 11:18 - United States - Belleville

Today, at the gym, I realized the guy who has been staring at me for the past 3 days is the same guy I promised to text back 5 months ago. FML

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By me:( - 16/7/2013 23:44 - United States - Romulus

Today, I went to the grocery store with my husband, only to find that his ex-wife worked there. Then I found out he never actually divorced her. FML

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By Anonymous - 9/1/2011 19:08 - United States

Today, I woke up early to go to church with my parents. When I got in the car, I was struck with the worst diarrhea I've ever had in my life. My parents told me I'd be cleaning the car out when we got there, because if we turned around, we'd be late. FML

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By I quit - 19/11/2011 00:48 - United States

Today, MS Word kept crashing with a memory error, so I called tech support. Instead of actually fixing the problem, their tech wasted over an hour of my time defragmenting the hard drive, disabling the anti-virus, and downloading new video card drivers from some shady site, before giving up. FML

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By lashless - 22/5/2010 20:32 - United States

Today, while getting ready for a friend's wedding, I was curling my eyelashes. My cat decided to jump onto the towel rod. As I went to catch her, I ripped all the eyelashes out of one eye. I called my boyfriend crying. When he saw me, he laughed and said, "You look really surprised in that eye." FML

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By yeah - 25/10/2019 14:00 - United States

Nightmare

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. In Walmart. Over the loudspeaker. FML

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By crystalwho - 20/1/2009 21:06 - United States

Today, I went downstairs to grab a snack and a glass of Silk (you know, the soymilk). When I get back to my room, I go to throw the snack on my bed to shut the door, but I tossed with the wrong hand. FML

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By too young for this - 12/4/2013 05:11 - United States

Today, my mom broke the news that my dad secretly got married two months ago, to a woman he has been dating for 15 years, and that my parents have actually been divorced for 12 years. They just lied about it this whole time. FML

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By ripo95 - 26/11/2008 06:18 - France

Today, I put my hand up in class. I forgot that I hadn't shaved. FML

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By Inga44 - 23/7/2009 23:25 - United States

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend. He was at the police station for breaking into a model home to hook up with the girl he's been cheating on me with for the past 4 months. I was his one phone call. He was expecting me to bail him out. FML

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By Anonymous - 19/2/2011 15:08 - Australia

Today, I went to a haunted show restaurant. I needed the toilet badly, but they were inside the building, which could only be gotten to via a ghost train. The footage of me peeing myself in terror on the train was played on a big screen inside, in front of a crowd of onlookers. FML

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By Anonymous - 7/12/2014 04:48 - United States - Watertown

Today, I felt bad about rarely complimenting my mom about her cooking, so during dinner, I raved about her incredible, creamy, macaroni and cheese. It came from a box. FML

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By kraussy - 4/5/2009 06:28 - United States

Today, I went to the eye doctor and they used dilating eye-drops on me. After I left, my vision was still pretty blurry. I walked to the subway and when I went to step onto the train, I missed and my whole left leg got stuck in the gap. The train was delayed 10 minutes because of me. FML

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By morenita27 - 21/12/2010 01:52 - Canada

Today, a woman came to my counter and ordered 12 donuts. I said, "OK sure, a dozen donuts." She paused, looked at me with disgust and yelled, "I said 12, NOT a dozen." FML

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By minder97 - 17/10/2011 04:04 - Canada

Today, my sister had a friend for a sleepover. They filmed a video in which the friend was lying in my bed, singing. An hour after the girl went home, her parents called. She has lice, and had brought them to our house unknowingly. I can see each and every individual larva on my pillow. FML

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By Anonymous - 10/11/2010 01:31 - United States

Today, there was an animal rummaging around in my trashcan, so I kicked the trashcan to see what it was. The fox then chased me for three blocks to find out what I was. FML

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By izoliv - 22/11/2008 08:17 - France

Today, after a tremendously hot night with a guy I met the night before, I ask him his phone number. To which he replied: "What for?" FML

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By onedollar - 24/7/2010 21:56 - Venezuela

Today, someone gave me 13 dollar bills. I rejected one because I'm very superstitious about the unlucky 13. Later, I waited half an hour in the car for someone to bring me exactly 1 dollar because I did not have enough for the parking fee. FML

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By CaptMacLeod - 26/1/2016 09:18 - United States - Lancaster

Today, after weeks of eating in the same restaurant, I finally worked up the nerve to ask the super-cute cashier for her phone number. "Aw, how cute. Do you have an older brother?" FML

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By Anon - 24/3/2012 02:42 - United States

Today, while hiking and wearing sandals, I stubbed my toe. This wouldn't have been so bad had it not been into a cactus with 3 inch thorns. FML

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By crazycatlady - 24/8/2016 09:43 - United States - Ashland

Today, I woke up with my cat's asshole planted firmly on my forehead. FML

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By creepedasfuck - 23/9/2012 16:50 - United States - Limington

Today, my step-brother had some serious bowel distress and rushed to the bathroom. Because he forgot to quit his group chat with his buddies, I quickly found out that the reason he's so over-protective, and hostile to my male friends, is because he wants to get into my pants. FML

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By FreshDonuts - 28/2/2015 05:03 - United States - Antioch

Today, my girlfriend said she was going to start appreciating the little things in life. She's starting with my penis. FML

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By smashed - 24/9/2012 14:33 - United States

Today, I bought my nephew some giant green Incredible Hulk fists for his birthday. He thanked me by Hulk-smashing me in the nuts. FML

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By zboy_123 - 23/8/2009 18:33 - India

Today, I went to this meditation center which my mom suggested to get mental peace as I have been hating my job and life for some time now. I drove for an hour and then walked around in scorching Indian sun for 2 hours trying to locate the damn place. I got lost and returned home angrier than ever. FML

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By crashednowcrushed - 26/4/2009 00:44 - United States

Today, was my 16th birthday and I was supposed to be surprised with a new car. I have overheard my parents talking about bringing it home tonight while I was at a friend's house. We snuck back to my house to see them bring my car home. All I saw was my Dad crash my new car into a street lamp. FML

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Top comments

By SasaCeceGogo | 18

#5713180 - Saturday 12 October 2013 12:05

Let me guess, does metal relax her as well?

By Kiwimaid | 9

#5713182 - Saturday 12 October 2013 12:05

OK, that is kinda tough, but don't stop laughing. In fact, laugh MORE so that she'll get used to it.
I knew a ababy boy like this, he outgrew it with lots of exposure :)

COMMENTS

By SasaCeceGogo | 18

#5713180 - Saturday 12 October 2013 12:05

Let me guess, does metal relax her as well?

By Kiwimaid | 9

#5713182 - Saturday 12 October 2013 12:05

OK, that is kinda tough, but don't stop laughing. In fact, laugh MORE so that she'll get used to it.
I knew a ababy boy like this, he outgrew it with lots of exposure :)

Reply

SmuggletheBudgie | 15

#5713217 - Saturday 12 October 2013 13:01

yeah exposure is the best course of action babies are like sponges so they can get overwhelmed by everything being so new and foreign.

Reply

Wowxoxo | 17

#5713343 - Saturday 12 October 2013 16:38

Or try classical conditioning

Reply

Epikouros | 31

#5713353 - Saturday 12 October 2013 16:42

Maybe conditioning is the problem. If you tend to laugh when you're surprised, the baby will associate the sound with danger.

Reply

Axipiter | 24

#5713365 - Saturday 12 October 2013 16:46

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

iLike2Teabag | 27

#5713673 - Saturday 12 October 2013 21:21

#39 good idea. Maybe if we taser every child abuse jokester on FML, there would be fewer crappy jokes.

Reply

TurtleLightning | 7

#6029480 - Wednesday 6 August 2014 18:29

I would say tie her to a chair an laugh in her face

By micha090 | 21

#5713184 - Saturday 12 October 2013 12:06

Dont worry OP, i know babies who are scared of their own fart. Your baby will get over your laughter soon.

Reply

jw90 | 18

#5713209 - Saturday 12 October 2013 12:34

@ 7 it's actually quite common. A lot of babies are scared of a lot of things at first. You've just got to get them used to it.

By Jocgre | 13

#5713186 - Saturday 12 October 2013 12:08

:( sorry OP

By niftyismybitch | 21

#5713190 - Saturday 12 October 2013 12:12

Are you Janice from friends ?

Reply

NoFlippinWai | 24

#5713239 - Saturday 12 October 2013 13:40

or Fran Dreshier (sp) her laugh terrifies me and I am 24.

Reply

perdix | 29

#5713263 - Saturday 12 October 2013 14:35

Daphne from Seinfeld?

"like Elmer Fudd sitting on a juicer."

Reply

perdix | 29

#5713310 - Saturday 12 October 2013 16:05

Oops, I meant Naomi.

Thanks for the catch ;)

By juststephhere | 23

#5713204 - Saturday 12 October 2013 12:25

That's cruelly really sad! Maybe laugh a tad quieter?

Reply

nnnope | 26

#5713284 - Saturday 12 October 2013 15:19

how is it cruel? OR sad? it's just a baby being a baby. jebus.

By wisericky | 12

#5713205 - Saturday 12 October 2013 12:25

You could try laughing like Spongebob or Mandark. Shouldn't take long for you to get into the habit.

Reply

mFUNdo21 | 17

#5713334 - Saturday 12 October 2013 16:32

hahaha hahahahaha. hahaha hahahahaha

Reply

meladuh | 16

#5714319 - Sunday 13 October 2013 12:16

That comment with that profile pic. (Y)

By mastervuk | 9

#5713208 - Saturday 12 October 2013 12:30

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

xxthexmisfitxx | 25

#5713244 - Saturday 12 October 2013 14:04

someone else flag this down! I accidentally thumbed it up and it won't go down Dx

Reply

nnnope | 26

#5713288 - Saturday 12 October 2013 15:21

not sure if talking about the comment

or priapism

By monnanon | 13

#5713210 - Saturday 12 October 2013 12:35

my son used to do that with clapping. loud noises can startle them. i wouldnt worry too much OP

By jw90 | 18

#5713211 - Saturday 12 October 2013 12:35

Your baby will eventually get used to hearing it OP. Especially if you laugh everyday. Don't let it depress you.