Work: Today, I didn't pay enough attention while sending a music file... - FML

By Mortifiedcharityworker - Austria

Today, I didn't pay enough attention while sending a music file to be used in a powerful video my class-mates and I made about the Syrian civil war. Instead of a moving classical track, viewers were shown graphic scenes of devastation to the tune of Gangnam Style. FML

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Out of it

Booty pic

You dingdong!

By anon - Canada - Goderich

Today, my father tripped over the dog and hit a wall. He was so convinced his arm was broken that we waited for 3 hours in emergency to find out he had a bruise. FML

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By soldier - United States

Today, I was running late for work. To save time, I grabbed my belt on my way out the door and was putting it on in the elevator, which stopped at the next floor before I had put my belt all the way on. A hot girl stepped into the elevator, looked at my undone belt, screamed "Ew" and got off. FML

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By Anonymous - 25/11/2020 03:00 - Australia - Warners Bay

What are the odds?

Today, while driving my car, there was a talk on the radio about road safety. I got so engrossed that I drifted and crashed my car into a sign promoting the talk. FML

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By phonegotlostinthepark - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I lost my phone. I called the number from my friend's phone, hoping I could find it. A guy answered, laughed "Thanks for the phone!" and hung up. FML

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By susan - United States

Today, my husband actually was cleaning our bathrooms. I had to pee and the floor was wet in my upstairs bathroom. My wonderful husband told me to go downstairs. I did and sat on the toilet seat which felt wet. He forgot he had sprayed it with Tilex. Chemical burns on your butt are great. FML

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By that1guy - United States

Today, My girlfriend who I've been dating for over a year was going to Florida for a short trip with a few friends without me since I couldn't get work off. She asked me to put her iPod in her bag for her as she was almost ready to walk out the door. Thats when I saw she packed 10 condoms with her. FML

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By Lauren Smith - United States

Today, I came home from work. I was really tired and told my son that I would make him dinner later. He called the cops saying, "Mommy won't feed me." FML

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By the next james herriot - United States - Laurel

Today, I found out my extremely anti-war relatives hate me because they think I served in the Army, after hearing I was "a vet". I'm a veterinarian. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - New York

Today, I stole a pen from the doctor's office while she wasn't looking. Later on at work, I idly pulled the pen out during a meeting. My colleague looked at me, horrified. The pen had the words "minimally invasive gynecological surgery" emblazoned on it. I'm a man. FML

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By WaitingByThePhone - United States

Today, I got excited when my cell phone lit up because I hadn't received a single phone call all day. Turns out it was the "low battery" indicator. FML

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By mog - United States

Office embarrassment

Today, the girl who works at the liquor store came to where I work. She recognized me. FML

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By Matt - Australia - Tyabb

Wrong end of the stick

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house to break up with her. It was a hard decision and both of us became quite emotionally overwhelmed at the time. We began to hug as a final goodbye, then her mum burst in the room and yelled, "HE FINALLY PROPOSED!" FML

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By Anonymous - Canada - Windsor

Today, I saw my girlfriend walking hand-in-hand down the street with another man. When I confronted her, she claimed she had no idea who I was, and the guy told me to beat it. Later on, she returned to our apartment and actually tried to act as if nothing had happened. FML

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By smallmediumatlrg - United States

Today, I went to a yard sale and found a cute plush duck. I sent a pic of it to my friend with the message "Jackpot!" I guess she didn't see the pic because she called me up all excited, thinking my boyfriend of 6 years finally proposed to me. "No, I said, I just found a big duck for $1." FML

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By scarred4life - Canada

Today, I was absentmindedly playing with a piece of lint. When I looked at it, I realized that I had been rolling and squeezing a dead spider in my fingers for about five minutes. FML

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By ScarletBuckeye

Today, I didn't want to get sand in my shoes. So I walked down to the beach barefoot. The sand was so hot that it burned the soles of my feet. I now have blisters across the bottom of my feet and between my toes. But at least there's no sand in my shoes. FML

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By csc4lyfe09 - United States

Today, while at my tutoring job, a middle school kid couldn't find a word in the online dictionary. I told him he could check a regular paperback dictionary. His response was, "That's what you did in your day. That's not what we do in our day." I'm only 19. FML

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By anonymous - Canada - Saint John's

Today, my boyfriend discovered you can send sound clips as text messages. So far I've heard 5 of his farts in the past half hour. FML

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By myworstday - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was let go from an unpaid internship. The reasons cited was that I seemed unhappy at work. No, that's just my face. FML

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By Anonymous - 26/9/2020 02:02 - United States - New York

Stable genius

Today, I went on a short date with a new girl in the office, who everyone thought was a tad bit odd. Also today, she showed me the names of our future children. FML

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By SmokedSalmon - United States

Today, I woke up next to a slumbering girl I had just met the night before. She had all the covers on top of her and I was cold. Not only was I cold, but the sheets were really cold. So I got up and realized she'd peed a drunken night's worth of beer all over my sheets. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Blythe

Today, a woman accused me of bullying her son, and said that she is going to get me fired. Her son is a 27-year-old teacher at my school, whom I disciplined for showing up drunk. FML

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By help me - United States - West Hartford

Today, I walked in on my 15 year old daughter and her boyfriend. They were standing in my bathroom, both naked from the waist down. Supposedly, he was trying to "teach her how to pee standing up." FML

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By embarassed_chick - United States

Today, I got my first period. My dad bought me a card and had everyone in my family sign it. FML

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By kayin - United Kingdom

Today, I was giving a tour for parents who wanted to send their kids to our school. One of the parents had a kid on crutches with what appeared to be a broken leg, so I asked him how he broke it. He replied, "I was born like this." FML

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By faglypoog

Today, my $200 drone malfunctioned and wouldn't stop. For fifteen minutes I followed it on my bike until it finally disappeared. On the way back I was pulled over for not wearing a helmet. FML

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By asdfghjkl - United States

Today, after getting home from school, I realized I'd tucked my shirt into my underwear this morning. I'm fairly certain everyone got a good look at my lime green underwear. FML

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By Anna L. - United States - San Antonio

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

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By Emily - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via the medium of free-style rapping. FML

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By superclutz - United States

Oh, hello…

Today, I left something in my boss's office. The door was closed which usually means she isn't in there, so I asked her coworker/friend for the key. When I opened the door, she screamed at me to get out of there. Turns out, she has just stopped breast feeding her son and was pumping her breasts. FML

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By Username

Today, my boyfriend told me he had to go pick up his family from the airport. I assumed he meant his parents. He apologized and said he meant his wife and child. They'd got their visa sooner than he'd thought. FML

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By SkinsCastSelection - France

Today, my boyfriend moved. He moved from my room... to my housemate's room. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Denver

You tried

Today, after a solid month of hard work, I finally finished modeling and animating a 3D insect character for a scene. After presenting it to the rest of my team, one of my teammates pointed out that it looks exactly like a flying penis. FML

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By Anon - United States - Stony Point

Broke

Today, I spotted a $100 bill on the ground. Being a little strapped for cash, I excitedly picked it up. I discovered it was one of those religious tract papers made to look like a folded bill, with a message scolding me for being greedy. FML

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By bananapie69

Social distancing gone wrong

Today, waiting in the deli line at the store, a woman stood directly next to me. I panicked and tried to move back to get a 6-foot distance, but in my panic I didn’t realize there was a stand behind me. I almost fell over, so I gasped super loud. Everyone looked at me like I was crazy. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my purse was stolen. Too bad it had all of my money and my passport. My flight is tomorrow, and the embassy is closed until Monday. Guess who gets to stay in a foreign country with no money and no identification for the next 3 days. FML

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By tbanana95 - United States

Today, I got my crush's phone number. I started texting him and once I told him who it was, he stopped replying. FML

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By Anonymous - 2/2/2021 07:58

Simps gonna simp

Today, I just found out that I was missing almost $500 from my debit card. Turns out my brother used my card to simp on a streamer. When I confronted him, he said, "But you would have simped on her either way." FML

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By Username - France

Today, I decided to have a midnight snack. I figured I knew my own house well enough to leave the lights off so my mom wouldn't wake up. Chuckling at the brilliance of my plan, I walked straight into a doorframe and bust up my nose. FML

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By CB4 - United States

Today, I woke up to my car covered in shaving cream and tampons and the word CHEATER written on my windshield in lipstick. The guy a few doors down from me in my dorm has the same car as me. I'm a virgin. FML

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Top comments

By snapper89768 | 7

#5932221 - Friday 2 May 2014 0:49

YDI for not listening to it first.

By larrena2377 | 26

#5932222 - Friday 2 May 2014 0:50

That's why you ALWAYS pay attention when you're doing important things...YDI

COMMENTS

By snapper89768 | 7

#5932221 - Friday 2 May 2014 0:49

YDI for not listening to it first.

Reply

curlytop101 | 23

#5932226 - Friday 2 May 2014 0:52

Maybe you should pay a little more attention next time... I wonder what your grade was because of that haha

Reply

ohcheriecherie | 20

#5932238 - Friday 2 May 2014 1:02

YDI for still listening to gangnam style

Reply

Uglyfeet | 23

#5932359 - Friday 2 May 2014 3:28

I hardly ever press YDI on purpose, but it goes beyond me on this one, I can't imagine an excuse to agree that your life sucks. So much pain and disgrace, accompanied by Psy singing... tell us your grade on a follow up if you can ;)
PS: instantly favorited!

Reply

Sirmrcrowley | 12

#5932407 - Friday 2 May 2014 4:44

I think that's awesome and I'd love to watch it!!!

Reply

lexiieeex3 | 32

#5932593 - Friday 2 May 2014 8:48

57- You're sick.

Reply

incoherentrmblr | 21

#5933400 - Saturday 3 May 2014 4:48

At least you didn't use any Metal, such as Megadeth, Slayer, Gwar, Cannibal Corpse, or Napalm Death...

Reply

AloysiusWeasley | 15

#5936774 - Tuesday 6 May 2014 20:40

Good lord, that. Proofread your work, or proof-listen, in this case.

Please upload though.

By larrena2377 | 26

#5932222 - Friday 2 May 2014 0:50

That's why you ALWAYS pay attention when you're doing important things...YDI

By PassiveAggresive | 12

#5932223 - Friday 2 May 2014 0:50

That's awful! But I have to say that situation must have been pretty funny (not the graphic scenes).

By gabriellag96 | 12

#5932224 - Friday 2 May 2014 0:51

Why do you still have gangnam style in the first place

By Jellybellybeanz | 22

#5932227 - Friday 2 May 2014 0:53

That's horribly hilarious. But YDI for not checking!

By imyy | 20

#5932230 - Friday 2 May 2014 0:55

Oppan Gangnam style!

Reply

OysterPearls | 33

#5933485 - Saturday 3 May 2014 7:12

Nope, nope, nope, nope, OP Gangnam style.

By cwl727 | 32

#5932231 - Friday 2 May 2014 0:55

At least you admitted that you didn't pay enough attention.

Reply

BoltTheSuperdog | 22

#5932622 - Friday 2 May 2014 9:42

Isn't that step one (admitting that you have a problem)?

By Joshwarrior | 39

#5932232 - Friday 2 May 2014 0:56

At least you probably got the attention of the ones dozing off

By steve31789 | 8

#5932233 - Friday 2 May 2014 0:56

Should have started dancing to it, play it off haha

Reply

cryssycakesx3 | 22

#5932274 - Friday 2 May 2014 1:44

there's not much to do to play other off. unless it was about the Korean war.

Reply

dman1997 | 5

#5932396 - Friday 2 May 2014 4:31

I think that would have worsened the situation.

By Yeshua_fml | 19

#5932234 - Friday 2 May 2014 0:56

Tell them it's a Post-Moderist critique of the commodification of war.