By Anonymous - 13/07/2014 04:08 - United States

Today, I decided to tan naked in a secluded part of my yard, so I wouldn't get tan lines. I even felt adventurous enough to leave my bikini and towel inside. This idea backfired however when my mom stopped home from work, assumed I wasn't home, and locked all the doors before she left again. FML
I agree, your life sucks 46 610
You deserved it 15 714

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Time to go all Adam and Eve and grab a few leaves.

You should have left some sort of indication for people to know you're home. YDI

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You should have left some sort of indication for people to know you're home. YDI

"Hey, mom, I'm in the yard tanning naked so I can get rid of these dreadful tan lines. Don't lock me out, please!" A note would have caused her mom to look for her.

cryssycakesx3 22

so? she's just nude...

jack_jill05 14

in their own home, I dont think OP needed to tell anyone what they were doing. sorry OP, I hope you didnt burn waiting for someone to unlock the doors.

#22 While she is "just nude", I personally don't want my parents to see me naked.

cryssycakesx3 22

I just think having your mom see you nude is better than being locked out nude.

Honestly she sounded like she didn't know her mom was gonna stop by home. Plus if I was gonna do that I wouldn't think to leave a note either because you think the mom would check before she locks all the doors. And again she sounded like she didn't know so I'm pretty sure she's worried more about tanning naked than thinking "There may be a slight chance my mom will stop home so I should leave a note telling her I'm outside fully naked and tanning"

Respect101 17

It's kind of the moms fault. Back when I lived at home, if they thought I would be home and I wasn't. They would look all over the house for me, and then call me to see where I was and tell me to get my ass back home.

Maybe if you're an adolescent they can tell you to "get your ass back home," but OP could very well be an adult that doesn't have to take orders from her parents.

If you went outside to tan for a while thinking no one would be home, would you leave a note or something?

incoherentrmblr 21

Hopefully it doesn't rain and that she'll be back soon...

I'm not sure about the OP but I always have my phone with me, even when sunbathing. Personally I like listening to music. I would use my phone to call mom and tell her to come unlock my house cuz I was outside but I guess that won't work if OP doesn't have their phone

...or you could have just taken your house key with you out into the yard.

Chibitalia180 6

#78 Assuming OP tanned in a backyard rather than the front, he/she might not have a key for their backdoor. My backdoor is one of those sliding levers and they don't use a key

No one does that just because in case a parent comes home randomly from work and locks all the doors. Common buddy you're thinking way after the fact than before it.

not to mention, hot metal around many windows

Op, hoping you didn't have to climb into a window naked, it's hard enough with clothes and shoes on.

Followup please! - how did you you get in and how long did it take

Is it really that important to know? The "followup please!" comments are becoming extremely redundant.

Well it is kinda fun…

I'm failing to see how it's harder to climb through a window nude than with clothes on. You wouldn't have clothes or buttons catching on anywhere.

Or in her case, a very infectable vagina, if it gets scratched.

It may not be a "her". There isn't a gender at the top and nowhere in the post does it say anything toward either gender. I mean technically a man can wear a bikini... ;D

I was thinking of body parts catching. Also, in times I have had to do it, the jeans material helped keep the frame from digging directly into my stomach/thighs.

To be or not to be tomato?

I'm just going to guesstimate here and say i think he might be talking about if she burned or not?

#29 I hate to say this but I will because it really bugs me but that's completely the wrong use of guesstimate. You are only guessing; there's nothing to calculate (estimate)

That is exactly what I meant. I wanted a follow up hearing what she did, did she burn, yelled out to neighbour or did her mother come home shortly afterwards again.

Sorry, I don't see how "to be or not to be tomato" conveys any of that..

33- you're an idiot. whether that's the real "meaning" or not, I did really mean to say guesstimate. I thought I was on fml not "AmISayingTheRightWords R'Us."

"R'Us"? You're here to buy AmISayingTheRightWords? How nice of the other person to check your vocabulary for free.

Time to go all Adam and Eve and grab a few leaves.

She can always hook two small baskets together to make a bra.

This is ask.fm, things are allowed to be ridiculous;)

Last time I checked, this is FML, not Ask.fm lol

thecman25 14

butthurt much?

How mortifying! I guess in a way this is a lesson learned - bring a house key when you want to sunbathe nude... (What a strange sentence to say)

xosxo 3

so... How is your tan looking ..

iLike2Teabag 27

Let's go on google earth and find out.

Next time you feel adventurous, bring a spare key.

Or maybe a swimsuit/towel could help too.

Not with getting back into the house.

It seems you have no choice now. You're gonna have to live in your backyard naked forever. I hope you know how to make a fire without matches.

OP's adventure just got a whole lot bigger.

Yeah it's called friction she can start one with me ;)

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

Doesn't necessarily mean OP is young :)

Dodge4x4Ram 46

what about the key under the rock? or is that just my back up

alshygirl 14

Maybe they keep that in the front yard.

brb going to Dodge's house...I know where the key is.