By nextcontestant16 - 19/11/2012 15:12 - United States

Spicy
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by waking him up with a blowjob, because he had always told me that it was a sexy fantasy of his. When he finally woke up, he got pissed off, rudely accused me of interrupting his beauty sleep, then soundly lay back down and fell asleep again. FML
I agree, your life sucks 41 367
You deserved it 5 060

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Don't trust men who value sleep more than a BJ. I would give up my sleep for that any day

He never saw it cumming!

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Don't trust men who value sleep more than a BJ. I would give up my sleep for that any day

If it is past 8:00Am then What is the problem? I hate sleeping through breakfast whether I eat anything or not because I would wake up and the day would be half over.

Damn, I wish my girlfriend did that...

Or because she was in his lovely dream

Let's not forget that some people don't think rationally for a while immediately after waking up.

I don't remember stuff that I did after waking up if go back to sleep shortly after and people tell me afterwords that I said things I totally would have never said if I was completely awake.

Yeah I can sleep when I'm dead lol

I agree with 7. I don't mind being woken up by my boyfriend with suprise sex after I've had enough sleep, but when he does at 7am after I get home from work at 2am I am not a happy camper

Ya damn right. That guy must be an idiot. I would live to have a girlfriend and to wake up with her doing that and I would be more than happy to return the pleasure

Yeah! I was with a guy I would so give him a BJ to wake up to! But I'm single!),: I think BJ's are hot! I also have a Oral Fix so that also has something to do with me wanting my mouth full!(;

Lol you get an E for effort and an F for Fuckin creepy.

He never saw it cumming!

Enough with the puns, they suck!

This thread blows.

I bet most of us already saw these puns cumming

I will try HARDER next time. I didn't want my post to be too LONG...Dicks.

Can you spell long dick? L-O DICK!

54 - Go back and read the replies to your original comment again. Take a second to think about what they might mean. Then facepalm yourself.

The OP that didn't expect that outcum.

63- take everything you just said and apply it to 54's comment. Then facepalm yourself.

88 - Won't be necessary. I saw 54's puns but he made it clear that he hadn't seen 17 and 23's when he called them dicks.

unknown_user5566 26

91- Pretty sure "dicks" was part of the joke.

Of course it was... but it also read as an insult directed at 17 and 23.

He didn't want it to happen at 3 am.

Cuz he wasn't making a joke...

I couldn't help but think, "Oh boy, 3 a.m.!"

Thats a win for you

She obviously enjoys giving head. So it's not a win for her.

Maybe he is on his period?

unknown_user5566 26

No.

My mommy told me guys don't get periods! My life is a lie!

Although men don't have drastic periods that women do, it has been scientifically proven that men do have 'periods' at certain times of the month, where hormone levels shift and minor mood swings can occur.

I did the same thing with the same result! I was left laying there thinking, "WTF?" Plus my ex was incredibly rude about it, almost yelled at me. Needless to say I didn't try it again. FYL indeed!

My husband did that to me too except without the rudeness. Screw the morning sex, I'll just handle it myself.

6 - thank goodness he's an ex then:)

unknown_user5566 26

6- Similar situations have happened to me with my husband. The worst part about being rejected is that it makes me scared to ever try anything new. We can talk about things to try now, but it sucks losing the "spur of the moment" aspect during sex.

Depending on how it's done, being woken up for sex can be annoying/upsetting. Especially if the person isn't ready to wake up yet. I jump my hubby whenever I get the chance, but the couple times he's tried to wake me up with sex I've almost broken his nose (and then not remembered any of it 'cause I was never actually awake)...

I appreciated the few times I've been lucky enough to have this happen. But the two most recent were when I was on zero sleep after she kept me up all night and I had to wake up for work early. But unlike the OP's bf I kept my cool and didn't unnecessarily blow my top.

Exactly! There's also a reason why he's my ex at that....no reason to be rude when I was doing what he wanted. And it was around 8am but on a Saturday so I was interrupting his sleep in time. Uggggh!

Where is the "he does not deserve it" button???

Seriously.. That would be like my dream come true. Please disregard the fact that I am female.

I've wanted to try that same thing, but my ex tried for 4 years and never woke up before me.

"Beauty sleep?!?!?" Girlfriend, I think he's mad because you're the wrong gender, if you know what I mean.

Haha wrong gender!

No, who could possibly tell what you mean if you're going to be so subtle about it?

#13, if you don't know, you don't need to know. Shout out to my peeps in 305!

I love pitbull! "305- mission world wide- MIAMI!"

83-Obviously you don't love him enough to know it's *Mr. WorldWide., not Mission World Wide.

#85, he could love Pitbull and just have bad hearing. I still think it's "I sense the rains down in Africa."

Approximately 581 comments ago.

Sounds like he should be taught a lesson.... Perhaps cut him off for a month or so to make him more appreciative

unknown_user5566 26

Holy overreaction, Batman. I agree that sex shouldn't be used as a weapon, but I'm fairly certain the original commenter was at least partly joking. As for the "sexual assault" bit, are you kidding me? If the boyfriend told OP that was his fantasy, then I'm willing to bet he WANTED it to happen. I'm guessing he reacted that way because he was woken up during a deep sleep.

44: I am so, so glad you're not my SO. You sound like a nightmare. How on earth can you even suggest that doing something her boyfriend said was a fantasy of his might be 'sexual assault'? If you don't want your partner to do it, don't tell them it's your fantasy. Or at least state the fact you want it to be kept as a fantasy and not reality. Crying rape over something like this is deeply insulting to people who've actually been assaulted and scarred. Grow the fuck up. I'm so sick of people pulling the sexual assault card when it's just not the case.

44/79, are you high? When is the last time you heard of a man filing sexual assault charges because his girlfriend have him head, whether he was awake or asleep? He would be laughed out of the police station, and I'm sure several officers would have asked for her number.....

Gave, not have..... Stupid autocorrect!

Well, TECHNICALLY, it would be legally classified as sexual assault because a sleeping person can't legally consent to sexual activity of any kind. However, the law tends to be very black and white when reality is grey. OP's boyfriend shouldn't have gotten mad at her for doing something he had basically told her he would want her to do. Also, it's not as if she kept going even after he told her to stop. But he might have just overreacted because he was woken up when he was very tired and not in the mood. Some people are extremely grumpy when woken up. Still, I say FHL because she tried to do something to please her boyfriend and it backfired.

you clearly dont know how dudes are. its lame the guy even half bitched about it. you dont yell at the manager a pizza hut for throwing in free bread sticks.

As a straight male i can safely say that unless she tried a back door type of thing there isnt really any way he can be sexually assualted... Its just part of being male, any guy that dissagrees is lying.