Intimacy: Today, I decided to spend a night of love with my darling, so...

By vaness@ - 06/12/2008 04:54 - France

Today, I decided to spend a night of love with my darling, so I arranged to meet him in a very classy hotel, gave him the room number and waited in a super-sexy outfit. There was a knock at the door, so I opened it enticingly, convinced it was him. It was room service. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 381

You deserved it 11 910

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
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Same thing different taste

Bang for your buck

By Anonymous - 24/08/2022 06:00

Today, feeling attractive, I got dressed up and took myself to a trendy bar to enjoy some cocktails. A muscular, handsome man approached me and we began to flirt. He recommended that we get a hotel room, which we did. After we had the most amazing sex of my life, he started to tell me his price. He was an escort. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 902

You deserved it 556

Sexy surprise

By perfectmoment - 10/10/2009 22:22 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend called me and told me he wanted me to stay the night. I decided to wear my sexiest outfit for him so I put on my kinky nurse outfit and drove over to his house. I let myself in his front door, to which I found 40 of my closest friends staring at me for my surprise birthday party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 309

You deserved it 21 311

By nnnaaazzz - 24/10/2009 12:20 - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to pay a suprise visit to my boyfriend's house. I let myself in, walked up to his bedroom and found him dancing around. In the dress I had left the other weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 332

You deserved it 6 217

By Shobz - 26/10/2009 16:04 - United Kingdom

Today, I went home early from a business trip to find my house covered with rose petals. Thinking it was a romantic notion from my boyfriend, I went up to the bedroom. I opened the door to find him lying there, getting it on with my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 623

You deserved it 2 744

By notsohot - 25/08/2019 00:01

Today, I showed up at my boyfriend's house with nothing under my coat but some sexy lingerie. He told me he was working on an assignment, and made me wait three hours before he'd have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 314

You deserved it 2 272

By seminole711 - 20/09/2009 14:17 - United States

Today, I put my sexiest lingerie on, lit candles, put some sensual music on, and got my bed ready to surprise my boyfriend when he came home. I positioned myself in the sexiest pose possible. He came home and didn't come in my room for 20 minutes because of a football game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 112

You deserved it 6 963

By Anonymous - 13/12/2010 14:57 - United States

Today, I'm spending the night with the guy I've been interested in for a while. Instead of sleeping in the same bed together, he insists that I sleep in another room because he "doesn't want to be tempted to do anything." So, I'm alone, in my best lingerie, in his little brother's room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 549

You deserved it 8 573

The best laid plans…

By A drunk walks into a bar and says NO SEX TONIGHT - 22/07/2022 16:00

Today, while trying to spice up our marriage, we decided to get a hotel room and roleplay as strangers who meet in a bar and have a one night stand. By the time I got there, he was engrossed in the football and on the beer. He didn't notice me arrive and when he did, he was too drunk to get the roleplay right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 444

You deserved it 275

By Stranded - 17/07/2009 07:58 - United States

Today, I got back from a romantic vacation at a fancy hotel with my boyfriend of 6 months. After a steamy love session, I confessed that I was in love with him. Later, when I got out of the shower, all his stuff was gone and I was stuck with the entire week's hotel cost and no ride home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 867

You deserved it 6 734

By Anonymous - 30/07/2013 01:10 - United States

Today, my boyfriend took me to dinner. There was a beautifully decorated table with rose petals and a huge bouquet and he told me he had ordered all this for me. I'd never felt so special. That is, until I had to get up for the couple whose table it actually was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 248

You deserved it 3 694

Lubinduba 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 23:46

hotel employees see weirder stuff than this all the time it's no biggie

iamtenyearsago 0

Sunday 5 April 2009 7:09

"A night of love with my darling." That made me laugh a lot D:

Comments

Squeezee 0

Friday 29 May 2009 3:01

Haa I woulda been like heey babyy;)

Michellesaid 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 1:03

I laughed out loud. Good job

drinkupgorgeous 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 9:18

HAHA IT LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE HIT YOU IN THE FACE.

izak_fml 0

Sunday 28 June 2009 8:13

haha Good ftw

Alefaye 0

Thursday 23 July 2009 14:38

meh, i'm sure they see stuff like that all the time

pulpfiction_fml 3

Friday 21 August 2009 8:41

YDI for using the word Darling.

myvenusdoom 0

Monday 12 October 2009 4:15

so the question is, did he eventually come or not?

mariahrawks 0

Saturday 27 February 2010 18:37

this isn't an fml. unless he never showed.

marleytooyou 0

Wednesday 24 March 2010 2:08

aww poor room service guy

kekelala3 0

Monday 5 April 2010 3:03

Did it not have a peephole? What happened to,"Who is it?" This is a crazy world we live in now. This isn't the 70's anymore.

Keywords

Dentist Sadness Health Lonely Abuse Work Awkward Parents Miscellaneous Birthday OCD Relatable Mental health Housework Love Cute Cleaning Argument Kids Animals Cats Underwear Intimacy Bikes Camping Friends Vacation Boredom Music Transportation

The Top

Today, after work, I was saying goodbye to my last remaining friend I worked with because she was going to be leaving for college. My manager saw me talking and made me clock back in and work, because, "If you have time to talk, you have time to work." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 644

You deserved it 1 250

Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 951

You deserved it 28 265

The Top

Today, I really realised how bad my anxiety had gotten when we got our corporate photos done for work. My smile was shaking so much the guy couldn't take my photo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 628

You deserved it 247

Today, I asked my husband if it was a good time to think about having kids. His response was, "ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NEVER." I’ve always wanted to be a mom and he knows that. I feel like I’ve wasted my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 521

You deserved it 592

Today, after being unnecessarily cruel and smearing me in court, my ex had his first weekend with the kids since our split. He has texted me no less than 38 times, wanting play by play directions on how to take care of them. I wanna tell him to go fuck himself but I’m worried my kids will suffer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 097

You deserved it 139

Today, I was talking to a guy on the phone. I told him I'd be right back. I thought I'd put him on mute. Turns out he heard everything as I took the biggest dump I've ever taken. We haven't talked since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 626

You deserved it 44 296

Today, I was eating a hot fudge sundae and said that the fudge was at the very bottom and I couldn't reach it with my spoon. My husband muttered, "Fat girl problems." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 069

You deserved it 13 162

Today, I finally gave my mum an expensive designer dress I spent months saving to buy for her as she had been very depressed. However she has gained so much weight from stress eating she ripped it when trying to put it on, and now won't talk to me because, "I wanted to make her feel fat". FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 658

You deserved it 1 140

Same thing different taste

Bang for your buck

Sexy surprise

The best laid plans…

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