Today, I decided to look at the pictures my mom took during my... - FML

By Anonymous - 3/5/2012 23:35 - United States - Wichita

Today, I decided to look at the pictures my mom took during my birthday a couple of weeks ago. Every single one is of my sister. Her lighting the candles, her watching me open presents, and her eating cake. The only pictures of me are in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32736

You deserved it

1946

Tweet

Share

Family values

Delayed proposal

Abuse

By tim12345 - 25/7/2011 16:08 - United States

Today, my friends and I rented a party bus, which broke down on the highway 45 minutes into the ride. I paid the guy for the whole four hours. He said he was going to flag down a car to get someone to help us. We saw him get into a car and leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33047

You deserved it

3547

Tweet

Share

By WartCream - 18/8/2013 00:27 - United States - Olathe

Today, I was watching TV with my boyfriend, when a weird wart-removal ad came on. He watched in disgust as the lady's wart said rude things to her. Then he looked at me and said seriously, "I'm glad yours don't talk..." FML

I agree, your life sucks

44537

You deserved it

4817

Tweet

Share

By grovage - 3/5/2012 00:43 - United States

Today, a repairman came to fix my couch, which is under warranty because the frame had broken in multiple places. To ensure I got a new couch out of the deal, I stabbed multiple holes into the cushion. The guy fixed the frame, but said there was nothing he could do about lacerations on the sofa. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5721

You deserved it

80076

Tweet

Share

By Lulu - 5/12/2013 23:39 - United States - Imperial

Today, I came home to a noise complaint letter taped to my apartment door. I haven't been home in over a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41125

You deserved it

2362

Tweet

Share

By hannamacintosh - 28/6/2016 17:30 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I knew my relationship was basically over when my boyfriend invited me over, and I was more excited about seeing his dog than seeing him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10631

You deserved it

1551

Tweet

Share

By Geez - 19/10/2009 17:02 - Netherlands

Today, I finally got intimate with my girlfriend, the girl of my dreams. I undressed and, ready to step in bed with her, I see her staring at 'it'. Which was quickly followed by laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29956

You deserved it

3723

Tweet

Share

By CollegeGirl - 1/5/2009 21:15 - United States

Today, I did my laundry in my dorm. After dragging 2 hampers down 4 flights of stairs, my ID card with money on it was rejected. After dragging it back upstairs, I scrounged up enough quarters from friends. 30 minutes after finally starting my laundry, I realized I forgot to add detergent. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26688

You deserved it

48760

Tweet

Share

By alephnull - 2/2/2011 21:07 - Canada

Today, I drove a friend to the emergency room because he thought he had appendicitis. While sitting in the waiting room, I got puked on by a child. My friend's diagnosis? Gas. So he also farted all the way home. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30953

You deserved it

3102

Tweet

Share

By okaykk - 5/9/2018 13:00

Thanks babe...

Today, after having hardly any sleep the whole weekend, I was woken up at 3:30 am by the sound of running water. I opened my eyes to find my fiancé peeing in my favorite water bottle. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2367

You deserved it

193

Tweet

Share

By ColdStones - 20/10/2014 08:50 - Norway - Bergen

Today, I was skating in the city when I slipped and fractured my arm. As I was lying in pain, a guy walked up to me, frisked my pocket and took my wallet. He then said: "It's nothing personal." FML

I agree, your life sucks

41212

You deserved it

3428

Tweet

Share

By theunluckylifeofme - 26/6/2013 20:33 - United States - Gilroy

Today, while I was working the drive-thru, a couple came through. As I was handing back their change they began giggling. I looked down to see the man's sex-nose fully erect. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46603

You deserved it

5071

Tweet

Share

By budapesthungary - 21/12/2009 05:16 - United States

Today, at my job as a cake decorator in a bakery, I put the finishing touches on the wedding cake of the man who left me at the altar 3 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49913

You deserved it

2784

Tweet

Share

By nottoosmall - 3/4/2013 16:57 - United States

Today, I was buying condoms at Walmart. I grabbed the XL size, and the cashier commented, "Ahh, you'll definitely need a smaller size." FML

I agree, your life sucks

37660

You deserved it

15563

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 6/5/2017 02:20

Today, as I was pulling out of my apartment complex, I was rear-ended. When I got out of my car to see how bad the damage was, I wondered why the other guy wasn't getting out of his. As it turns out, he was busy pleasing himself. I found out when I approached his car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7745

You deserved it

428

Tweet

Share

By teach - 5/2/2009 00:40 - Canada

Today, at the elementary school where I teach, the kids all voted for their favorite teacher. I was the only one to receive zero votes. When I asked a small group of students why no one voted for me, one boy replied "because you're the ugliest". FML

I agree, your life sucks

52671

You deserved it

4088

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 19/5/2009 08:40 - Canada

Today, I was in my Cosmetic Application class, and we were about to apply foundation to our models. I walk over to my friend and say "Wow, that foundation is really orange and blotchy." Then the model turns to me and says "Actually, we haven't started yet... that's just my skin." FML

I agree, your life sucks

15885

You deserved it

58200

Tweet

Share

By Antoine Karam - 27/6/2019 04:30

Today, I was invited to an engagement. My crush is getting engaged next month to a man she told me she hated. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1618

You deserved it

213

Tweet

Share

By dummy - 22/5/2009 05:12 - Canada

Today, my grandpa took out the family for dinner and paid for everyone. He paid the bill and my family and I were waiting by the door. I realised I probably should thank him for dinner. I turn around without thinking and give him a big hug and say thanks for dinner Grandpa. It wasn't my grandpa. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15232

You deserved it

44760

Tweet

Share

By Nora - 12/11/2015 21:21 - United States - Fargo

Today, I went to the doctor for the second time, because I've had a cough for about six weeks. In my first appointment, the nurse said it was just allergies and condescendingly gave me a brochure with a recipe for salt water. Turns out it's pneumonia. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26911

You deserved it

1630

Tweet

Share

By aldfgadfklbg - 13/3/2011 23:08 - United States

Today, I had a seizure. My dad responded by saying it always happens with my disease. I never have had a disease. Now I have to wait for my dad to stop yelling at my mom about not telling me, so I can ask what I have in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49016

You deserved it

3110

Tweet

Share

By jacquelle - 25/2/2010 18:12 - United States

Today, I came home to find that my roommate had done the laundry. At first, I was very appreciative. However, I wasn't so thankful when I found out she brought home the wrong basket from the laundromat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25363

You deserved it

2269

Tweet

Share

By busybee - 10/5/2009 03:38 - United States

Today, I went to the zoo with a guy I like, when we were there we saw a swarm of bees. I told him that if I got stung he would have to watch me because my dad is deathly allergic to bees and I have never been stung. Jokingly, he nudged me into the bush and said "let's see". We did. I'm allergic. FML

I agree, your life sucks

65550

You deserved it

5806

Tweet

Share

By enriquegay - 28/3/2009 17:17 - United States

Today, my girlfriend dropped me off for a class and I accidentally closed my exceptionally baggy pants in the passenger door. She didn't notice and started to drive away. I spent the next fifteen seconds being dragged across rough pavement with my pants around my ankles. FML

I agree, your life sucks

59036

You deserved it

37420

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 12/3/2010 21:44 - United Kingdom

Today, I spent all day and last night in the bathroom. The seafood I'd been keeping in the refrigerator apparently had gone bad, and is now intent on finding its every possible route to the Great Porcelain Whirlpool. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20854

You deserved it

8161

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 9/10/2010 04:06 - United States

Today, I found out that my current girlfriend has dated all of my friends at one time or another. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27848

You deserved it

5157

Tweet

Share

By special-ingredient - 2/8/2009 03:41 - Canada

Today, I came home tired and hungry from work. I put my feet up and sat down with a big bowl of chips and salsa. I thought I must have been really hungry because my regular no-name salsa tasted way better than usual. I looked down to examine the jar. Looks like I like the taste of mold. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36885

You deserved it

13880

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 1/1/2011 05:29 - Canada

Today, I went out for New Year's. When I got back, I found my house had been broken into. I found a note saying, "Happy New Year, sucker." FML

I agree, your life sucks

35918

You deserved it

2898

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 20/9/2011 07:24 - Canada

Today, I walked in on my daughter trying to tan herself with her regular desk lamp. She won't believe that it wouldn't give her a tan. She's 16 years old. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34131

You deserved it

5119

Tweet

Share

By thegreatcometofawayhamilton - 20/10/2017 01:48

Today, I twisted my ankle and fractured my wrist while dancing. I audition for a performing arts school in one week. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3077

You deserved it

256

Tweet

Share

By Noname - 20/2/2009 23:42 - United States

Today, I drunk dialed my mom and told her I was so high and drunk that I thought the KGB was coming after me. When I woke up this morning, my mom told me that she's no longer paying for college. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20379

You deserved it

124753

Tweet

Share

By beckbr - 2/2/2009 00:51 - United States

Today, I asked a little old lady in line at my work why she wasn't out enjoying the beautiful day with all her friends. Her response, "I'd love to, but they're all dead." FML

I agree, your life sucks

18038

You deserved it

29266

Tweet

Share

By ayw329 - 31/1/2009 13:51 - United States

Today, I have been reading FML for 12 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44249

You deserved it

16989

Tweet

Share

By mlove - 6/9/2010 08:35 - United States

Today, my future mother-in-law finally admitted that I'm "not the girl for her son" and that she will do anything to break us up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39289

You deserved it

2883

Tweet

Share

By brigie - 1/5/2013 08:21 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my boyfriend of two and a half years left me. To clear my head I decided to go for a drive. My car broke down on the way. The only mechanic I have ever used and trusted with my car is my boyfriend. Yes, I had to call him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51403

You deserved it

8115

Tweet

Share

By Churizmo - 19/7/2009 18:52 - United States

Today, I was at a party and I really had to use the bathroom. There were 30-40 people talking outside the door, so I thought it would be ok to make some noise. Just as I'm about to begin having explosive diarrhea, everyone falls silent as my dad begins to pray for our meal. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51579

You deserved it

5429

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 24/12/2012 06:37 - United States - Conover

Today, a woman at work was complaining about her weight. She looked pretty thin, so to make her feel better, I said that she looked small. She said "Well, you haven't seen me naked." For some reason, I replied, "Not that you know of." FML

I agree, your life sucks

17812

You deserved it

40087

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 10/10/2013 05:25 - United States - Long Beach

Today, I had a new client on my massage list. Two of my fingers got stuck in the thick coat of hair covering his back. I had to stop myself from making grunting noises whilst extricating them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41295

You deserved it

3201

Tweet

Share

By ewwww - 6/4/2011 19:31 - United States

Today, I discovered that an unmentioned side effect of my new medication is body zits. I now have zits on my neck, my ear, and inside my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36262

You deserved it

3387

Tweet

Share

By smooth - 31/12/2015 01:39 - United States

Today, my coworker pointed to our nervous new intern and asked who he was. I jokingly said, "Can't you tell? He's our new slave." I then quickly realized how bad that sounded, given the intern is black. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30481

You deserved it

18393

Tweet

Share

By goo - 10/2/2017 18:00 - United States - Louisville

Today, while having fun between the sheets with my boyfriend, his allergies got the best of him and his nose started running. Every time he kissed me he'd drip snot onto my face. When I complained, he said I was being insensitive. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7542

You deserved it

1091

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By TheZee | 12

#4389714 - Friday 4 May 2012 8:22

What the hell is wrong with your mom o_O?

Edit: I say on her anniversary offer to take pictures and make sure it's all of your dad and your mom is in the background :D!!!

By jerseyboy732 | 16

#4389730 - Friday 4 May 2012 8:30

who the hell takes photos of someone watching another person open presents?

COMMENTS

By hellogoodbye1996 | 6

#4389713 - Friday 4 May 2012 8:22

Time to be a brown noser..

Reply

noto_fml | 0

#4389760 - Friday 4 May 2012 8:40

Did you just find out what that phrase means and was so eager to use it that you jumped at the opportunity???

You probably can't think that up, you just wanted to be first so bad and chose a new fancy phrase you heard.

Reply

lukep135 | 6

#4389793 - Friday 4 May 2012 8:48

U mad bro?

Reply

hellogoodbye1996 | 6

#4389798 - Friday 4 May 2012 8:48

Hatres gon' hate

Reply

Cloudberry | 10

#4389808 - Friday 4 May 2012 8:51

*haters

Reply

hellogoodbye1996 | 6

#4389810 - Friday 4 May 2012 8:51

*haters

Reply

hellogoodbye1996 | 6

#4389825 - Friday 4 May 2012 8:53

It's cute how much haters hate over a clever first comment, and then all the ones to come after it.

Reply

Cloudberry | 10

#4389835 - Friday 4 May 2012 8:55

That was a clever first comment? You must be new.

Reply

hellogoodbye1996 | 6

#4389842 - Friday 4 May 2012 8:56

Thanks for proving my point. (: keep hating, your jealous brightens my day.

Reply

teague95 | 16

#4389844 - Friday 4 May 2012 8:56

1 - the FML in your photo seems familiar. Hmm........

Reply

Roevera | 14

#4389848 - Friday 4 May 2012 8:58

Its pretty bad when you're so proud of your first comment you make it your profile picture..

Reply

hellogoodbye1996 | 6

#4389852 - Friday 4 May 2012 8:59

Roevera..my picture is of me and my friend?

Reply

teague95 | 16

#4389860 - Friday 4 May 2012 9:01

32 - now it is, it was a screen shot of this FML and your first comment

Reply

Roevera | 14

#4389864 - Friday 4 May 2012 9:01

Cause you just changed it dipshit. Obviously the comment above me noticed it too.

Reply

hellogoodbye1996 | 6

#4389869 - Friday 4 May 2012 9:02

Guys, just leave me alone. You're acting like children..it's just a first comment on fml..

Reply

teague95 | 16

#4389881 - Friday 4 May 2012 9:05

yes it is just a first comment and you made it your picture that's why we're laughing at you

Reply

hellogoodbye1996 | 6

#4389886 - Friday 4 May 2012 9:07

K

By TheZee | 12

#4389714 - Friday 4 May 2012 8:22

What the hell is wrong with your mom o_O?

Edit: I say on her anniversary offer to take pictures and make sure it's all of your dad and your mom is in the background :D!!!

Reply

katiedoll6 | 7

#4389927 - Friday 4 May 2012 9:31

Exactly see how she likes it

Reply

Michael_92 | 20

#4390012 - Friday 4 May 2012 10:55

Sorry to thread jack and look like a d-bag, but how do you edit comments? I don't see anything when I am on the computer. Thumb me down if you wish but I was jw.

Reply

Michael_92 | 20

#4390047 - Friday 4 May 2012 11:13

And all this time i thought it was hard.

Reply

CanWeMicrowaveIt | 11

#4390487 - Friday 4 May 2012 16:14

Ge caJust a thought, but it's been a few weeks, it's very likely she exported the pictures of you and deleted them off the camera? It's an automatic process controlled by a checkbox when importing them to a computer so it's highly possible!

Reply

mrmerino | 0

#4390630 - Friday 4 May 2012 16:43

No no. Anniversary involves mom and dad. Offer to take pictures of the anniversary, and be sure to capture your aunt or something.

Reply

Talkryz | 7

#4390667 - Friday 4 May 2012 16:51

Or of himself and her in the background

Reply

alexisrocks16 | 0

#4398290 - Sunday 6 May 2012 20:01

Ahah that will show her -_-

Reply

djsammyc | 19

#5767653 - Monday 25 November 2013 15:13

this is a very good idea

By Ekh0es | 36

#4389719 - Friday 4 May 2012 8:25

Well. At least you got cake and presents?

By felisaa | 5

#4389720 - Friday 4 May 2012 8:25

Aww i'm sorry op, what a horrible thing for your mom to do on your birthday. :(

By VictoriaSchultz | 8

#4389729 - Friday 4 May 2012 8:29

Damn. I'd be mad if my mom only cared of the memories of my sister rather than my own. Especially on my birthday!!

By jerseyboy732 | 16

#4389730 - Friday 4 May 2012 8:30

who the hell takes photos of someone watching another person open presents?

Reply

Michael_92 | 20

#4390015 - Friday 4 May 2012 10:57

Stalkers

Reply

jannielovesjack | 0

#4390154 - Friday 4 May 2012 12:35

Someone who must not like their child whom is receiving the presents, and in this case it was OP.

Reply

guitarbeast | 22

#4391245 - Friday 4 May 2012 20:24

At least she wasn't making a video while commenting things like "awe look a her watch her sister open presents" "look at her watch her sister blow out the candles"

Reply

pokefan813 | 16

#4393761 - Saturday 5 May 2012 14:25

Apearently op's mom does. xD

Reply

fantasyworld | 37

#6003517 - Thursday 10 July 2014 2:00

A picture of a bored person just sitting there, that picture would be boring.

By IcyWeiner | 0

#4389733 - Friday 4 May 2012 8:31

Should've had your own party. Jello shots beat cake any day, hands down.

Happy belated birthday :-/

By LookOnBrightSide | 12

#4389740 - Friday 4 May 2012 8:34

Solution: Photobomb all your sister's pictures when it is her birthday. OP, I'm sorry you didn't get any pictures taken, but just remember that you take the cake in the better sibling contest.

By kickuwithmyfist | 1

#4389745 - Friday 4 May 2012 8:38

Was the cake good!?

By lilmissepicfail | 0

#4389754 - Friday 4 May 2012 8:38

yikes