By Anonymous - 23/06/2013 10:38 - United States - Fountain Valley

Spicy
Today, I decided to go buy myself a dildo to use on my lonely nights. Once at the adult store, I also grabbed a birthday card to make it seem the dildo wasn't for me. At the register, the cashier looked at me and said, "For God's sake, save yourself some money. I already know it's for you." FML
I agree, your life sucks 64 503
You deserved it 25 436

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Instead of buying a card, use the money on extra batteries.

Why do people bother trying to lie like this? You think you're the first girl to buy a dildo? It's like the guy who buy a Penthouse and condoms. "No, the Penthouse is for my, uh, girlfriend. She likes the articles."

Comments

lol she knew

It surely wasn't the first time the cashier saw a cover-up like this.

challan 19

of course she did! First time I went into an adult store with my girlfriends we made up this elaborate story of throwing a bachelorette party. Total BS. Then it gets easier once you realize everyone is in there to diddle or wank.

How are we so sure the clerk is a she?

DyslexicPanda 12

Does it matter, 60?

Instead of buying a card, use the money on extra batteries.

Vibrators and dildos are different things. A dildo doesn't need any batteries.

I would think the female would know more about plastic dicks, what a world.

Whoops...I totally misread that! I know the difference between a dildo and a vibrator. Enjoy your new dildo!

It does if it vibrates too...

ravenh1979 13

Absolutely right!! Heehee lol

Who is sending this?

You jnow quiet well huh.. :p

some dildos do vibrate..

I'm not going to ask how you knew the difference #9

kdbernie10 3

Gotta give the guy some props. If that wasn't for you that would have been awkward as hell. You should have denied it just to make him feel like a dick.

Life_sucks_13 6

Lol woulda been funny. OP could have just said "it's for a gag gift. Ever heard of it?" Lol

No, Op should have said, "i already have one and its a nicer model"

Why do people bother trying to lie like this? You think you're the first girl to buy a dildo? It's like the guy who buy a Penthouse and condoms. "No, the Penthouse is for my, uh, girlfriend. She likes the articles."

I would think you'd rather get tissues to go with the penthouse than condoms ;-)

People will do anything to cover shame; no matter how petty the excuse, if it gives the mind ease, it's fair game. "No honey it's not what it looks like, I slipped and fell in!" "No mom, it's not what it looks like, the sock is because I'm cold there!" "No cashier, it's not what it looks like, this dildo is for my friend!' See? Lies people tell others, but mostly themselves.

The condoms are to trick yourself into thinking it's someone else. They go well with sitting on your hand, eh?

Jlow17 4

I just eat my cum no need for tissues

"No, but it's sterile and I like the taste."

MerrikBarbarian 9

I've never understood the logic. I mean, honestly... A place that sells sex toys sees a lot of people buy them. Most shop owners are in the business because they like toys themselves. They have likely used many kinds if toys themselves and are great at explaining how they work, pros and cons, etc. I love trading notes with shop owners as I make custom toys. People should not be embarrassed by it... Or if you really find it that mortifying to admit you are human and have urges- order online. :p

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Lol you basically said I hope you find some dick soon

Well that's obviously what she needs.

But, for now, she's taking matters into her own hands.

And her own... Uhhhh... Never mind...

ravenh1979 13

Lmao!! Yep.. Poor thing :(

NagainaFier 16

What, 61? A girl can't be happy without a man? Damn, I must miserable then!

Martinez0285 28

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kxxjoejoexxk 8

Get out

So did you deny it?

gloooooria 14

Why purchase one if you're embarrassed? Buy it and own it. Shit, buy two with a smile on your face!

Amen! Knowing what turns you on and gets you off makes for better sex overall- solo or with a partner. But if you're really that bashful, order it online and save yourself the trouble of an alibi!

ravenh1979 13

Agreed!! :)

MerrikBarbarian 9

Amen to this! How can you tell a partner why turns you on if you aren't comfortable with yourself? I suggest in person buying to newbies just because shop owners are usually amazing, helpful people who will be sure you get what you will enjoy. Online is fantastic not just for the bashful but you can get unique items or better prices sometimes.

True, got my blue dolphin from Spencer's. walked in, got it, got grin from hot cashier (shoulda asked if he could help me haha). Own it!

Might as well just save the money and be honest, you might not look lonely the cashier probably see's this a thousand times a day and says it to everyone getting a dildo and a B-day card.

I would like this comment but I don't want to take it off of 69 likes... lol

shaww 28

awkies...