Money: Today, I decided I would try this feature on my banking app which...

By Checkless chick - 08/05/2013 22:21 - United States

Today, I decided I would try this feature on my banking app which lets me deposit checks by sending a picture of it. The instructions say to rip the check after depositing. The deposit didn't work and now I've got a ripped up paycheck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 086

You deserved it 54 385

Money

Vulture

Kids these days…

Problematic language

By NotAParabola - 07/10/2009 04:39 - United States

Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend over webcam with a cute negligee. He was doing homework. Half an hour later, he finally noticed. Apparently pre-calc is more interesting than his girlfriend. I guess polynomials are just curvier than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 240

You deserved it 39 140

By what - 26/11/2010 19:17 - United States

Today, while shopping, a few giggling girls came up to me and asked why I was wearing a dress in public. Highly confused, I didn't answer. When they walked away laughing, I realized they thought I was a man. I'm a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 398

You deserved it 4 145

By jkbeynon - 03/03/2013 04:18 - United States - Canyon Country

Today, I told my mom that I heard something, and I think we have rats in the attic and should hire an exterminator. She looked at me and said, "Rats, huh? That's what the mom in The Exorcist thought, but it turned out to be the devil living up there." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 754

You deserved it 3 613

By Cowan - 06/08/2009 12:27 - Belgium

Today, I had to come back home early from my holidays. Why? I had asked my grandmother to water my plants, some of which are illegal. Instead of doing it herself, she asked her neighbor... who is a cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 819

You deserved it 125 168

By Anonymous - 13/11/2010 23:00 - Canada

Today, I found that my "lesbian" best friend and roommate is now dating the guy I've been trying to get a date with for weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 964

You deserved it 3 331

By clostar - 19/01/2016 20:17 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I had sex with a guy I met at a party and passed out in his bed. When I woke up at 3 am, he sat up and said, "You're still here?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 381

You deserved it 9 839

By justafriend - 28/05/2017 00:00

Today, I went to a bar with a close friend. She got drunk and was feeling sick, so I carried her to my car to take her to her house. Some stranger accused me of drugging her and tackled me with her in my arms. She threw up on me, and he took off running without an apology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 170

You deserved it 346

By serverdessert - 08/03/2009 21:02 - United States

Today, at the restaurant where I work, I served a table of 4 middle-age women. Before greeting the table, I was deciding between saying "Can I get you anything to drink?" and "Can I start you off with something?" My actual greeting? "Can I get you ladies off?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 480

You deserved it 19 254

By clarakipper - 25/09/2013 07:19 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I found out that the vacation my mom has been planning to "repair our relationship" was just an opportunity to change her Facebook profile picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 497

You deserved it 2 713

By NeedaNosePlug - 26/01/2012 05:19 - United States

Today, I had to have a discussion with my 54-year-old mother about showering. She thinks it's perfectly OK to shower only once a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 244

You deserved it 3 198

Breakfast innuendo

By Anonymous - 30/03/2021 15:30 - Canada - Kamloops

Today, I went to get a banana for breakfast and said to my mom, with whom I currently live at age 32 because of Covid, that I don't normally eat bananas, but it looked good. She looked at me and said, "You clearly need to get yourself a man." She's right, but jeez! Thanks mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 860

You deserved it 213

By spark - 27/08/2014 17:19 - United States - San Francisco

Today, after my windshield wipers being stolen twice in a row, I decided to hide in my car to catch the thief. I fell asleep. When I woke up, the new wipers were gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 874

You deserved it 10 018

By swana99 - 04/09/2013 20:39 - United States - Woburn

Today, I went to my first class of the year. The first thing the teacher said was, "I hate this f*cking school." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 299

You deserved it 3 093

By anonymous - 22/01/2016 01:55 - United States - Bellefontaine

Today, I met up with my dad for the first time in 7 years. We planned to go to a nice restaurant but he changed the place we were going to, to Chuck E. Cheese. I'm 18 years old. I waited an hour for him to show up. I then ended up babysitting his daughter the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 901

You deserved it 1 592

By Sh.H - 23/02/2009 04:09 - United States

Today, before a big formal banquet, I went tanning because I wanted to look good in my cocktail dress. I got out of the tanning bed only to realize that I had left my socks on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 771

You deserved it 55 823

By EllieS9311 - 16/02/2016 13:16 - United States - Montevallo

Today, my 13 year-old son had a seizure in the middle of his history class. We were at the hospital for three hours and several expensive tests later he informed me he faked the seizure so he could get out of a group presentation. He was so proud that he was such a good actor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 497

You deserved it 3 055

By new dog - 14/09/2014 03:38 - United States - Gaithersburg

Today, I realized that my dog is a pro at pooping directly in shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 364

You deserved it 3 949

By Kate - 05/04/2019 22:00 - United States - Exton

Today, my dog showed me her latest kill. Too bad it was the stuffed animals my dead grandmother had given me as a child that had a lot of sentimental value to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 080

You deserved it 381

By ouch - 27/01/2009 02:18 - United States

Today, my doctor called with my test results, which seem to tell him that there's absolutely nothing wrong with me. I'm still sitting here with an appendage that I'd swear was dispensing napalm, but now I have a $500 bill to go with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 369

You deserved it 2 135

Cheeky!

By Anonymous - 03/08/2014 05:16 - Australia - Perth

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 107

You deserved it 23 574

By allinicolesmh - 08/08/2011 16:03 - United States

Today, my dad said he can't go to my graduation because he has to work. He got fired a month ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 198

You deserved it 2 688

By Anonymous - 28/11/2012 06:32 - United States - Madison

Today, my husband quit his job as a university professor and picked up the graveyard shift at a rat farm so he could have more time during the day to play World of Warcraft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 639

You deserved it 3 374

By melissa - 10/02/2009 23:41 - United States

Today, my sister teased me about being a mistake baby. When I told my mom what my sister said, her response was "I still love you anyway". FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 447

You deserved it 3 762

By Don'tjudgeabook - 05/04/2017 20:00

Today, a man reminded me five times how much of a "nice guy" he was during our first conversation, saying also that I seem the sort to date the "bad guys" because I looked sweet and innocent. Then, without waiting for me to say something, he sighed and walked away, muttering that he always finished last. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 745

You deserved it 335

By meens42 - 30/09/2013 08:04 - United States

Today, my dad asked me to stop calling him "dad" because it’s too weird for his girlfriend’s kids to hear, because they call him dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 146

You deserved it 2 821

By Anonymous - 01/04/2009 03:10 - United States

Today, I was volunteering at a school, as I walked past the swings these two girls smiled and said "wow, you are so pretty!". I smiled back and said "awww, well thank you!." As I walked past I hear them laughing, "she actually believed us." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 439

You deserved it 5 131

Don't worry dad

By Anonymous - 02/02/2020 18:00

Today, my daughter had just left for a date with her boyfriend. All of a sudden, she runs back in the house screaming "I forgot to take my birth control!" That is not something a father wants to hear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 177

You deserved it 470

By Anonymous - 02/09/2013 17:03 - United States - Gladewater

Today, my boyfriend admitted to me that the reason he won't have sex with me is because "condoms are too expensive." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 080

You deserved it 6 391

By sam - 15/12/2010 20:11 - United States

Today, I got a text just before class that my partner didn't finish their half of our 30 page research paper because "That class is stupid". FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 775

You deserved it 4 081

By Natasha - 29/10/2015 08:58 - United States - Seattle

Today, I got so desperate for cash that I decided to start selling my used panties online. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 667

You deserved it 7 230

By Username - 27/06/2011 08:56 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came before I'd even unbuttoned my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 356

You deserved it 7 737

By JWhite - 24/11/2011 08:42 - United States

Today, my dad got drunk and thought it would be a great idea to clean up the yard by dumping gasoline all over the leaves and lighting our entire front yard on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 056

You deserved it 2 649

The wrong end of the stick

By poodlesoup - 21/12/2020 22:58 - United States

Today, I actually feel good about my decisions and my life. I've even started running to improve my health, and recover from self harming. My girlfriend is convinced I'm running to hurt myself, and won't let me near any health food or the treadmill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 882

You deserved it 73

By Anonymous - 18/05/2011 07:26 - United States

Today, I ate some hardboiled eggs for breakfast, not knowing they were practically rotten. My whole day has consisted of vomit-inducing sulfuric farts and diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 314

You deserved it 9 303

By Anonymous - 19/08/2010 06:32 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend of a year exclaimed 'Oh my god!' for the first time during sex. Nope, I haven't improved in bed, I recently moved a tv into my room and something exciting happened on the show she was watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 380

You deserved it 13 691

By down trodden - 05/09/2013 07:45 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 364

You deserved it 3 295

By tiffylueg - 21/06/2016 13:38

Today, my allergies are killing me. I took a Benadryl to help, but the allergies are still here. I'm now chugging Mountain Dew at 9:30 in the morning to keep from falling asleep at my desk. Thanks for nothing Benadryl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 178

You deserved it 1 487

By sandra - 20/09/2010 06:13 - United States

Today, I was working with some shelter puppies transporting them to the vet's. I got all of the puppies in but one, and when I went to pull him out, I realized he had gotten car sick. Before I could stop it happening, he wagged his vomit-covered tail and hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 665

You deserved it 3 100

By wahwah - 23/10/2009 06:51 - United States

Today, I had to complete a project for my course in Italian. We had to write a little paragraph about a friend. I had to make one up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 126

You deserved it 6 255

By Juiced - 26/09/2012 18:46 - United States - Denver

Today, my boyfriend excitedly showed me his new juicer, and used up all the fruit in the house making new concoctions. It was adorable until later on, in the middle of getting frisky, he asked if we could go to the grocery store to buy more fruit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 407

You deserved it 3 361

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Top comments

maskedman 9

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Thursday 9 May 2013 9:25

So we all know to rip the check after CONFIRMING the deposit was made. Thanks, FML.

Fluffydemise 18

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Thursday 9 May 2013 9:24

Haha, checkmate. Banking app 1 Customer 0

shadowedpixie 19

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Thursday 9 May 2013 9:24

Some technology is just not as good as the traditional way.

Sekkaichi 12

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Thursday 9 May 2013 9:27

More like better safe than sorry. Sorry OP but I think YDI.

DyslexicPanda 12

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Thursday 9 May 2013 10:32

I'm pretty sure OP just didn't fully read the instructions because most say to keep the check for 14 days

ButterflyLadyBug 14

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Thursday 9 May 2013 14:20

she deserved it. she stated rip up the check AFTER the deposit. i would take that as confirm the money is there and then rip. im guessing she ripped first then went to confirm. idk OP. call your job to cancel that check and have them reprint another one !! well next time you know

TexasBitch 13

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Thursday 9 May 2013 15:47

Technology is fine if you're not an idiot.

bugmefmlnotnow 7

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Thursday 9 May 2013 15:48

I've done this through ING, Capital One, and Paypal. They ALL say to leave the check alone until it clears.

raufintoff 15

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Friday 10 May 2013 4:37

You're not supposed to rip it for five days Or at least until you're sure it went through!

sexyboi1985 27

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Friday 10 May 2013 5:45

I am sure u mean cheque ?*

Fluffydemise 18

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Thursday 9 May 2013 9:24

Haha, checkmate. Banking app 1 Customer 0

AbstraktThoughts 13

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Thursday 9 May 2013 9:54

More like bank: $9954689531579742 Customer: -9863689874578999853235789

maskedman 9

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Thursday 9 May 2013 9:25

So we all know to rip the check after CONFIRMING the deposit was made. Thanks, FML.

OscarDV 8

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Thursday 9 May 2013 10:06

Yeah.. this is more of a common sense thing. FML just shows that there are people that screw up. a lot.

grahmagog 14

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Thursday 9 May 2013 9:25

This is how SkyNet will begin its rise

rt567 15

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Thursday 9 May 2013 9:25

technology man..,

MatteKudasai 17

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Thursday 9 May 2013 9:58

There's nothing wrong with technology. Heck, without it, how would you see these fantastic FMLs?

annie_nk 22

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Thursday 9 May 2013 11:52

I love Technology Man! Saving the day with the power of apps!

rt567 15

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Thursday 9 May 2013 11:53

very true! love fml app

peacefully84 19

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Thursday 9 May 2013 9:25

Since you had never done it before, you probably should have made sure it worked before ripping up the check.

rosenkrieger223 21

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Thursday 9 May 2013 9:55

This.

CharresBarkrey 15

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Thursday 9 May 2013 11:54

That?

Danielle7994 18

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Thursday 9 May 2013 11:54

18, She's right

VeganVampyre 26

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Thursday 9 May 2013 13:16

He'll, even if you HAD done it before you should still wait to make sure it worked this time. Because even if it worked for you 50 times before, the one time you assume and don't wait to see would be the one time it wouldn't work.

Enslaved 36

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Thursday 9 May 2013 13:38

"It's like this and like that and like this and uh" "So just chill, til the next episode"

imyy 20

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Thursday 9 May 2013 14:24

#57 - Dr Dre, hell yeah!

rosenkrieger223 21

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Thursday 9 May 2013 17:42

42, I was agreeing with the comment I replied to.

Danielle7994 18

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Saturday 11 May 2013 11:26

Oh 92. Seemed like you were trying to correct her grammar.

toxophilia 6

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Thursday 9 May 2013 9:26

How could you possibly think tearing it would be a good idea? YDI for not waiting until it's confirmed.

noreallywhat 17

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Thursday 9 May 2013 9:26

So the thought maybe I should wait and make sure it has gone through first, that didn't cross your mind? Just talk to your work they will replace the check. Until that happens I am sorry I hope it comes through before your bills are due.