Today, I completely lost it when I found out my mom was driving...

By wtf mom?!

Today, I completely lost it when I found out my mom was driving around with my 20-month-old daughter not sat in a car seat. She told me I was overreacting, and that everything was fine since she “prayed for a safe journey.” FML

I agree, your life sucks

2578

You deserved it

208

Favorite

Commando

They're everywhere

Clean break

By ggbhghggg - United States

Today, I missed my bus. I had to ride my bike 2 miles. Once I left, some jerk nearly hit me. I flipped him off and shouted obsceneties. It was my dad, offering me a ride. He left. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9641

You deserved it

42441

Favorite

By Seriously - United States

Today, my son's homework was to write a story about what he wants to be when he grows up. He wrote that he plans on being unemployed and living at home until we throw him out, then he'll live under a bridge. He's only 12, but already planning for a future as an unemployed bum. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39201

You deserved it

8469

Favorite

By Darla - United States - Arcadia

Today, I realized that at age 54, I'm no longer young enough to go commando anymore. Every time I sneezed today, I peed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21668

You deserved it

12886

Favorite

By Catnip - Germany - Michelstadt

Today, I sent my boyfriend a selfie where I used the Snapchat face-swap to put my best friend's face on mine. My boyfriend didn't notice and texted back, 'Wow, so beautiful!' FML

I agree, your life sucks

12173

You deserved it

3265

Favorite

By Anonymous - Norway - Rakkestad

Today, my daughter proudly showed me her new tattoo sleeve, which is made up of an angry cupcake, hemp leaves, and a My Little Pony character. She's almost 30, still unemployed, and still lives in my home. I now have no hope of her ever becoming a productive member of society. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30204

You deserved it

8307

Favorite

By WentInABush - United States - Portland

Today, while in my room on the computer, I had a sudden urge to pee. I got up to use the loo and started hearing some disturbing noises from inside. Apparently I was so quiet my parents thought I was gone and decided to have sex in the shower. It's been an hour and my bladder is about to burst. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36301

You deserved it

3215

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my mom got drunk and started crying at my after-wedding party, after promising she'd behave herself. She thinks my husband is an awful person who'll drag me into a life of sin, all because he has a tattoo and an ear piercing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29961

You deserved it

2886

Favorite

By fired - United States

Today, my boss was being a total asshole. While in the bathroom, he turned his back on me, so I gave him the finger, mouthed obscenities, and pantomimed stabbing him with a knife. He was looking in the mirror and saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10176

You deserved it

65183

Favorite

By Anon - United States

Today, I shattered my iPhone screen. Pieces of glass are chipping out and can easily slice up any idiot who slides their finger across the screen. Unfortunately, I was that idiot. There's blood in the cracks of my screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16363

You deserved it

6664

Favorite

By Noname - United States

Today, at lunch, I told a bunch of people how I had been in love with this guy since freshman year. I made a bunch of jokes about how I was going to marry him and our kids would be so attractive. He was at the table next to mine and looked back at me as soon as I finished. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20095

You deserved it

18237

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26948

You deserved it

59082

Favorite

By elizabethyeo - Australia

Today, I was speaking to an old friend and I asked her how her mother was. She replied, "She passed away, you came to her funeral last month." FML

I agree, your life sucks

10414

You deserved it

46121

Favorite

By dumbblonde

Today, I figured out that the roommate who I let move in with me on Sunday is probably a prostitute. I’m a lawyer. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1625

You deserved it

371

Favorite

By GoogleOFF - 7/7/2020 08:08

Alexa, fuck off

Today, my Google Home decided the TV told it to play 'Despacito'. It didn't. Google then decided I wasn't yelling at it to turn it off. I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1122

You deserved it

318

Favorite

By Grace - 14/11/2020 23:02

Don't touch me, bitch

Today, I found out that when you try to pick up my cat, its response is to let out the most stinky fart it can. FML

I agree, your life sucks

664

You deserved it

163

Favorite

By NeverLookingAgain - United States

Today, I faced my fears. I've always had a weird fear of looking out of windows at night, afraid a face would suddenly appear. When I heard a strange noise outside, I looked out the window. Sure enough, the face of a man suddenly appeared. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26332

You deserved it

2007

Favorite

By JoannaG25 - Netherlands

Today, I was told that in order to be considered for more jobs, I should remove my college degree from my resume. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36553

You deserved it

3968

Favorite

By lala - United States

Red circle gang

Today, my boyfriend and I were flipping through magazines and got on the topic of how airbrushed the girls were. My boyfriend then pointed out all of the flaws on my body that would need to be airbrushed away if I was in a magazine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30585

You deserved it

4705

Favorite

By thyisnothorses - United States - Scituate

Today, I was grounded by my mom because I had slept in past 11, when she wanted me to wake up at seven to do chores. According to her logic, I should have seen the note she left on the counter earlier this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32126

You deserved it

3067

Favorite

By "Sam Fazackerley"

What a shame!

Today, I dropped my phone in the toilet while sitting on it using the phone, I have a stomach bug and diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1553

You deserved it

879

Favorite

By stoopidRUnner - United States

Today, I was running by a school and saw that a deer had caught his antlers in the fence. I felt bad for it so I tried to help it free. Finally, he became unstuck. Then he rammed his antlers into my hip. Now I can't run in the marathon I have been training for a year to race in. FML

I agree, your life sucks

65514

You deserved it

13457

Favorite

By ManInPain - United States

Today, I was walking down the street to go to the movies, when I got punched in the back of the head. When I turned around, a stranger said, "HAHA! It's punch a random person day!" When I asked him why he chose me, he replied "You're ugly." FML

I agree, your life sucks

42029

You deserved it

4894

Favorite

By Raprotcommander - United States

Today, I used my AA handbook as a beer coaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12260

You deserved it

54203

Favorite

By Anonymous - Russian Federation - Lipetsk

Today, I was back home from work drinking coffee when I heard someone open the door with a key. It was my boyfriend, who obviously didn't expect to see me home. We don't live together, and I never gave him a key. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51800

You deserved it

4096

Favorite

By Lt. Dan - 10/12/2020 05:01 - Germany - Castrop-rauxel

Management

Today, I told my boss to choose between A and B, with A achieving his longterm goal, and B producing a quick win, but not leading to anywhere near A. He told me to come with a "hybrid" approach." FML

I agree, your life sucks

672

You deserved it

142

Favorite

By Ah piss - United States

Today, my roommate let me know he "bumped" another car with mine. What he really meant was that I need a new rear quarter panel and the very angry BMW driver he hit has all of my information. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27033

You deserved it

3875

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Portland

Today, I was making love to my fiancée, when she dug her nails into my back and told me to "choke" her like I did last night. I was at work last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks

89844

You deserved it

6142

Favorite

By aloneagainnaturally - Denmark - S?borg

Today, we were all put in groups to make a presentation together. And by "together" I mean I pulled an all nighter to finish it by myself. My group criticized my work. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24371

You deserved it

2110

Favorite

By Ldp56 - United States

Today, I got a call from my daughter's school. Apparently, she was learning about the food pyramid and when she was asked to identify what she had eaten the day before, she said "dog food". FML

I agree, your life sucks

32935

You deserved it

4571

Favorite

By Lemonhead - United States

Today, I came home from living in Spain for 2 years. My mom made dinner for me, and she had forgotten about my allergy to citrus, because she made lemon chicken. After using my EpiPen, and calling 911 for myself, I heard my mom say to my dad, "She always did have to be the center of attention." FML

I agree, your life sucks

65844

You deserved it

3782

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, it was my co-worker's birthday but she told me not to mention it. Feeling bad for her, I went out to buy her a card, a present, and even a small cake. It turns out that there was actually a party during our lunch break, and I was the only one in our office not invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40911

You deserved it

3548

Favorite

By Eh... - Ukraine

Today, my boss asked me if I know anything about those tattoos that girl put on their lower backs. "You mean Tramp Stamps?" I responded. He looked at me with hatred in his eyes and said that his 18 year old daughter just got one. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53283

You deserved it

8015

Favorite

By prisym

Today, I found the $3,200 engagement ring I dropped in my yard. I ran over it with my lawnmower. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3306

You deserved it

754

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Houston

Today, at my retail job, I tried on one of our hats. My co-worker told me I shouldn't because I could get lice. I laughed it off and told her I didn't believe her. Man, do I believe her now. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18496

You deserved it

8475

Favorite

By kkt - United States - Granbury

Today, my 15-year-old brother got busted for selling pills at school. The officer said they were reddish pink, so we searched the house for that kind of pill. Turns out it was my dog's medicine from over 4 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48666

You deserved it

4527

Favorite

By idiot - France

Today, my son stuck coins in our DVD player. It would be cute if he wasn't 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39463

You deserved it

5836

Favorite

By bastards - Netherlands - Den Haag

Today, I babysat the brattiest and most foul-mouthed 8-year-old I've ever met. After I survived three hours of it, his parents finally came home. He claimed I'd invited a boy over and that we did "stuff" on the couch all evening. They believed him. I didn't get paid, to say the least. FML

I agree, your life sucks

57908

You deserved it

4195

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Redding

Today, I found out that someone I once babysat got a girlfriend before I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13200

You deserved it

1584

Favorite

By boring - New Zealand

Today, I fell asleep and dreamed that I had won $500,000. In my dream, I used this money to buy a new MP3 Player, and then put the rest in a term deposit. Even in my dreams, I'm the most boring person I know. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33651

You deserved it

7953

Favorite

By Anon - United States

Today, while at work I passed out due to my blood sugar not being normal. Despite the fact that it took 10 minutes to wake me, no one thought I was in any sort of danger. After the episode, I then got fired for "sleeping on the job." FML

I agree, your life sucks

46098

You deserved it

2939

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By colderthanyou | 15

#7790372 - Saturday 6 April 2019 13:47

Holy fuck I don’t think I’d ever leave my child in her care again. That is SO dangerous!!

By Dave_Davington | 33

#7790374 - Saturday 6 April 2019 13:52

See, this is why you should not just "respect their beliefs", rather than treating religion like the harmful bullshit that it is.

COMMENTS

By MidnaLink | 32

#7790349 - Saturday 6 April 2019 12:48

…
…
…
…
… Is she higher than 50 kites or something?

By davidfong | 14

#7790371 - Saturday 6 April 2019 13:47

Wow your mother’s crazy. But not as crazy as the guy I saw driving while holding a baby. But I lived in NYC, so I wasn’t totally surprised.

By colderthanyou | 15

#7790372 - Saturday 6 April 2019 13:47

Holy fuck I don’t think I’d ever leave my child in her care again. That is SO dangerous!!

By Dave_Davington | 33

#7790374 - Saturday 6 April 2019 13:52

See, this is why you should not just "respect their beliefs", rather than treating religion like the harmful bullshit that it is.

Dave_Davington | 33

#7790417 - Saturday 6 April 2019 17:15

And here we have Exhibit B.

tounces7 | 27

#7790611 - Sunday 7 April 2019 3:39

Her retardation directly ties in with her beliefs.

By melisssa87 | 30

#7790382 - Saturday 6 April 2019 14:31

Can’t your mom pray for superpowers or eternal life? Now that would have been much cooler

By TxKitten79 | 10

#7790408 - Saturday 6 April 2019 16:48

Yeah. It's time to ban your mother from driving your daughter around. I'd be livid too!

By RichardPencil | 29

#7790422 - Saturday 6 April 2019 17:36

I hope her prayers to not get pulled over by a cop work.

By Yudith | 20

#7790437 - Saturday 6 April 2019 18:33

At least OP's mother didn't forget the baby somewhere.

By acmariner99 | 24

#7790451 - Saturday 6 April 2019 19:09

Well I guess thoughts and prayers make it all ok.

By Caleb Billings | 16

#7790517 - Saturday 6 April 2019 21:07

I beilive prayer is a good thing and can help sometimes but that's just stupid