Today, I cleaned my toilet. I had forgotten it was white. FML

By Anonymous - 5/12/2011 00:40 - United States

I agree, your life sucks

8204

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48975

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Miscellaneous

Dangling modifier

Trip Advisor says no

Lockdown is driving us down

By Anonymous - 23/10/2009 16:12 - United States

Today, they are pumping out the septic system in the building next door. I am three months pregnant, suffering from morning sickness, and can smell everything within a three-mile radius. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38139

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3801

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By Anonymous - 22/8/2018 12:30 - United States - Missoula

Today, I found out that I was misdiagnosed with ADHD 10 years ago and instead have bipolar disorder. For the last 10 years I have been taking meds that helped me focus on my manic / depressive state. FML

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2866

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159

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By Sod's Law in action - 17/3/2018 01:30

Today, I turned up to my job interview ready for any question, with impeccable references and previous work experience. Then I saw that one of my interviewers was the lady I accidentally hit with my bicycle last week. She still has stitches in her cheek. No job for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3863

You deserved it

1089

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By Anonymous - 4/9/2014 06:44 - United States - Saginaw

Today, I tried to blink out a small speck of dirt that was caught in my eye. Instead, I learned what it feels like to suffocate a small, angry spider with your eyelid. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47443

You deserved it

3823

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By quadropheniac - 9/6/2009 16:18 - United States

Today, I walked into the bathroom and found my sister cleaning her vibrator. With my toothbrush. FML

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128147

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8072

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By stuckass - 5/4/2016 09:02 - Pakistan

Today, our office had a mock audit before the real thing. I got warning note for not maintaining proper databases for last year's activities. I only joined a few months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20864

You deserved it

1492

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By anon - 15/9/2012 05:35 - United States - Rocklin

Today, I woke up to the sound of my neighbor pleasuring himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30250

You deserved it

2703

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By Redbeard - 24/1/2020 05:00

Who taught him

Today, while we had my husband's boss over, my 3-year-old son decided to burst into the living room naked and yell, "Mum, look! Penis!" and wiggle it around. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2050

You deserved it

332

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By Tweenmom - 13/4/2017 16:00

Today, my tween daughter found an exciting new book series to replace her two-year obsession with Harry Potter. Hello, Team Jacob. FML

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4636

You deserved it

521

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By Anonymous - 6/11/2018 14:00

Today, a mad woman squirted me with a water gun filled with paint as we were leaving the church where I just married my husband. As I was staring at this mad bitch in my ruined dress, wondering why she would do something so horrible, she ran off crying and shouting, "Sorry wrong wedding!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

4340

You deserved it

178

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By yeueid - 31/3/2016 22:24 - Estonia

Today, I found out that whenever I text my boyfriend something cute, he texts his friends and asks what to say in his reply. Basically, I've been talking to his friends all the time. FML

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19408

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1719

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By Anonymous - 17/1/2014 18:38 - United States - Spring Hill

Today, my new calculus teacher taught everything using nothing but soccer terms and analogies, just so the resident idiot meatheads would understand. I didn't learn a thing. FML

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44089

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5361

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By milly - 20/12/2011 10:43 - Norway

Today, my mother commented "loser" on my Facebook profile picture. She got 41 likes. FML

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40084

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6582

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By - 31/12/2009 03:21 - France

Today, my first (and only true) date ended with the girl saying "Thanks for dinner, I was hungry - and oh, by the way, I'm a lesbian". FML

I agree, your life sucks

33940

You deserved it

2470

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By fd - 16/1/2009 13:36 - United States

Today, my partner and I were informed by the man we had a three-way with, the first one after having finally screwed up the courage to do it, that he has mono. I don't feel so good. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12441

You deserved it

38240

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By myleghurts - 12/11/2012 06:50 - Australia - Strathfield

Today, on my way to school, I was shouted at by an obnoxious businessman for sitting down on the train when a "full fare paying passenger" was standing. I would normally have given him the seat straight away, except I have a broken leg. I showed him my leg and crutches. He still made me get up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30326

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3475

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By Oops - 18/11/2018 21:00 - United States

Today, I had diarrhea and shit myself. During my wedding. In my wedding dress. FML

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3764

You deserved it

227

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By Anonymous - 16/8/2009 17:14 - United States

Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML

I agree, your life sucks

62990

You deserved it

10915

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By Tony - 17/4/2012 00:57 - United States

Today, my fiancée informed me she'd invited her ex-husband to our wedding at her parents' request. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27760

You deserved it

2129

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By Daughter of a Dork - 14/9/2018 17:30 - United States - New York

Today, my dad demanded that I break up with my cheating boyfriend. With that revelation, I did some investigating on my own. The other woman is apparently my boyfriend's "cute little" Marshadow that slaughtered my dad's "godlike" Incineroar in a 3DS battle they had. FML

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2672

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235

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By Anonymous - 30/6/2020 14:01

Stalker vibes

Today, a woman who has a history of being horrible came into my work. I had to help her, so I was determined to be so nice that she couldn't possibly complain about me, like she has about several co-workers before. Apparently, I was too nice. Now she loves me and wants me to help her every time she comes in. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1371

You deserved it

326

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By ktreens - 19/10/2012 04:06 - Canada - Brandon

Today, I was getting out of the car when I saw a dark figure approaching me from behind a shed. I screamed and threw my bag. It also threw its bag, due to the fact that it was my shadow on the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9762

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26275

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By kutekittykatz - 10/7/2013 08:58 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, while ironing some shirts, my cat decided to hop up and investigate. To prevent him from burning himself, I instinctively moved the iron away and placed it flat on my other hand. FML

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47178

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14544

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By wowgranny - 22/12/2016 20:08 - United States - Tooele

Today, my grandma told me that I'm starting to look like my sister. I jokingly replied, "Uh-oh I'm in trouble then." She gave me a very disapproving look and said, "You should be happy. She's beautiful, unlike you." FML

I agree, your life sucks

8586

You deserved it

1245

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By orilykid - 31/10/2012 17:23 - United States - Richmond

Today, I was cleaning out my roof's gutter, which was full of leaves. There was an especially big pile, and when I started scooping it up, I felt something squishy. Turns out those leaves were covering the remains of a rotting squirrel. I can't stop smelling it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25966

You deserved it

1941

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By Wowfmylife - 19/8/2009 03:59 - United States

Today, my ex showed up at my door with chocolates and flowers. I've liked him since I was 13, starting dating him when I was 15. He proposed when I was 22. I am now 24, and yesterday was our wedding day. He didn't show. FML

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77069

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4206

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By Anonymous - 30/11/2016 01:48

Today, I discovered that when my doctor said my new medication "may cause sensitivity to sunlight" what he meant was "sit in total darkness during the day or your skin will feel like its burning off." FML

I agree, your life sucks

10216

You deserved it

558

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By AngryLittleMan - 23/4/2012 03:00 - United States

Today, I discovered something more dangerous than drivers who text: drivers who break your car windows with a bat while stopped at a red light. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27484

You deserved it

2184

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By Anonymous - 3/5/2012 11:37 - Australia

Today, I called my mum, crying because of my low self-esteem. She interrupted my sobs by saying, "Can I hang up now? The phone's getting hot." FML

I agree, your life sucks

24986

You deserved it

5927

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By Sfg_926 - 26/6/2016 05:02 - United States - Newberg

Today, I told one of my coworkers that she looked really cute today. Later she sent an email to me and cc'd the entire office saying "It really makes me feel uncomfortable when you say things like that to me. And I shouldn't have to feel that way at work." FML

I agree, your life sucks

14298

You deserved it

3106

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By sam - 17/1/2011 03:32

Today, I watched as a guy hit my car, laugh when he saw me running towards him, and drive away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28080

You deserved it

2224

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By - 1/1/2009 03:45 - France

Today, my wife and I both have blond hair and blue eyes, we just had a red headed son. FML

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42857

You deserved it

9149

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By Anonymous - 17/10/2019 22:00

Love is strange

Today, I learned that, just like in the movies, your ex-boyfriend can eventually wind up being your stepfather. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1988

You deserved it

125

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By mammasboy - 21/5/2013 18:30 - United States - Springfield

Today, my mom scolded me and threatened to ground me for coming home past midnight. Normally, it wouldn't be unreasonable, except for the fact that I'm 24 years old, and that my parents live with me, in my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56785

You deserved it

5340

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By Kevin - 9/9/2011 12:10 - United Kingdom

Today, I wrote a fake phone number on my neck to make it look like someone had hit on me. FML

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10173

You deserved it

42748

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By um... what the fuck, miss? - 2/8/2013 20:23 - United Kingdom

Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML

I agree, your life sucks

62602

You deserved it

6029

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By jshum - 13/9/2016 15:02 - Australia - South Yarra

Today, I bought a new phone. It's shock proof, water proof, you name it. Just not kitten proof, it seems. That's $400 down the drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13119

You deserved it

1916

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By twinkie2 - 21/1/2011 08:35 - United States

Today, I treated myself to a cheeseburger. I left it on my coffee table while I grabbed a napkin from the kitchen. While I was gone my dog ate it. Then puked it up all over my carpet. Which I then had to clean up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24924

You deserved it

13808

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By jobless - 10/11/2009 19:16 - United States

Today, I got an invitation to my "going away lunch" the company is throwing for me. I didn't know I was leaving. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34589

You deserved it

1941

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By TheSaddestSpiceMeatball - 30/10/2019 16:00

Happy Reset Day!

Today, it was mine and my fiancé's 4 year anniversary. What did he get me? Nothing, but I did find out he's been cheating on me with multiple women. Guess I’m back to 0 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1968

You deserved it

141

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Top comments

By Arrangements | 4

#3685880 - Monday 5 December 2011 8:36

That's nasty, keep your bathroom clean. Trust me, it's important.

By ninjuh_wingman | 29

#3685914 - Monday 5 December 2011 8:43

How dirty are you that you didnt remember what color your toilet was?

COMMENTS

By mcdaidjoel | 1

#3685878 - Monday 5 December 2011 8:35

Shitty deal.

n_epic_fail | 14

#3685923 - Monday 5 December 2011 8:45

Holy shit.

kbtoyz69 | 9

#3686012 - Monday 5 December 2011 9:06

hahaha grooooossss!!!! diareah! diareah!

boofgall | 16

#3686045 - Monday 5 December 2011 9:29

Diarrhea, you mean. But why?

jonan1212 | 5

#3686508 - Monday 5 December 2011 13:17

Holy shit stains, Batman!

gojira666 | 7

#3686834 - Monday 5 December 2011 14:53

You shit on the outside of the bowl as well or.....

kidtoronto | 5

#3687644 - Monday 5 December 2011 19:03

Dude, thats effing gross.

CalCommando | 6

#3688430 - Monday 5 December 2011 23:18

It's ok OP, tomorrow we'll work on colors.

kidtoronto | 5

#3688903 - Tuesday 6 December 2011 1:48

yo purple panda pride!

AliCat18 | 12

#3694294 - Tuesday 6 December 2011 22:59

bit of a shit situation...

By Arrangements | 4

#3685880 - Monday 5 December 2011 8:36

That's nasty, keep your bathroom clean. Trust me, it's important.

Meme1988 | 18

#3686171 - Monday 5 December 2011 11:09

True, you can easily get sick if its not clean!
I Mean.. You wrote a fml because you forgot the color?! not because you forgot to clean?!

krisymisy | 0

#3788252 - Monday 26 December 2011 3:57

My thoughts exactly!

By leztg | 0

#3685883 - Monday 5 December 2011 8:36

That's just nasty.

yumyumpoptart | 16

#3687460 - Monday 5 December 2011 17:57

*cleveland brown voice*

By abbytequiere | 9

#3685902 - Monday 5 December 2011 8:40

Let's just all get it out of our systems. Yes it's a shitty situation. Moving on now.

jamalaska | 2

#3685966 - Monday 5 December 2011 8:54

xSonic | 9

#3691300 - Tuesday 6 December 2011 8:43

Why are people thumbing all this down? Do they like unoriginal comments? Oh no, now I'm going to get buried ?

By ninjuh_wingman | 29

#3685914 - Monday 5 December 2011 8:43

How dirty are you that you didnt remember what color your toilet was?

By lajaynay | 15

#3685915 - Monday 5 December 2011 8:43

Nasty ass.

By onlychildFTW | 33

#3685920 - Monday 5 December 2011 8:44

You deserve it for not cleaning your toilet more. That's pretty gross if it got to the point of not being white anymore.

By BrianAlarcon | 0

#3685922 - Monday 5 December 2011 8:45

cochino

drawmesunshine | 17

#3686920 - Monday 5 December 2011 15:42

Sucio.

killak41 | 9

#3687516 - Monday 5 December 2011 18:14

Serio.

alex6946 | 10

#3689836 - Tuesday 6 December 2011 4:50

Hola.

stephanieeDawnx | 0

#3689871 - Tuesday 6 December 2011 4:56

Taco
^_^

EvilCupcake8361 | 9

#3690656 - Tuesday 6 December 2011 8:30

C-C-C-COMBO CACHÓN!!!

babysittingfail | 0

#4639269 - Monday 2 July 2012 1:02

Ohhhhhh its Spanish!!!

By emsdashkova | 10

#3685927 - Monday 5 December 2011 8:45

that's disgusting. did it not smell?

By yeti0718 | 8

#3685929 - Monday 5 December 2011 8:46

Gross. Just gross. I hope you never have company over for goodness sakes.