By oxymorons - 05/09/2011 21:37 - United States

Today, I checked the camera I set up to find out who has been stealing my prescription painkillers: my wife, my daughter or my son. Turns out they all are. FML
I agree, your life sucks 34 454
You deserved it 3 138

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Wow, looks like you could start up a family drug business!

Can I has some? :D


Wow, looks like you could start up a family drug business!

YourEvilHero 12

they're probably taking them to get high and not selling them. but pretty crazy wife is doing it along with the kids

jillianmathers12 13

Get a divorce and let her keep the kids!

LiveLaughFML 10

this sounds like something that would happen on Family Matters. hehe. "did I do thaaat?" :D

Time for family rehab.

The newest ABC show: it's like Weeds, but less exciting! We call it: Druggie Family!

the new MTV series meet the dopers

Looks like you drugged them into the situation. Huh-hah!

Steal your wife's dildo, wear your daughter's thongs, use your son's condoms.

Almost makes you wish you could trade places with the kid whose grandma shows and tells restaurants to kiss her ass....

HomelessMuslim 0

The all new oxymoron drug cartel!

I hope OP doesn't keep his medicine in the medicine cabinet... right beside the toilet.

they can all get high together.

enonymous 8

Hey flintstones vitamin chewables are fucking delicious... tell your doc you need more refills.

y would they do that?

monkeys1315 0

Maybe you should hid them, thats what we gotta do at my house

It doesn't work that way with opiates. In the vast majority of cases, you have to sign a pain management contract. Standard in those contracts is a clause that says if you will not get extra medication...even if your meds are lost or stolen. Chances are, no matter how much he needs them, he won't get more meds until his next monthly refill.

Oxymoron = a self contradictory sentence or statement... In light of this, how does your comment make sense?

Time to slap some bitches

They can't start a business selling drugs if they are always using their product.

More like buyers than sellers

andrewjt 3

Not what they meant by family medical.

shiawase_fml 3

what are they doing with them?

Why's everyone thumbing down 94? He has a good point, because if the meds were in the cabinet next to the toilet, it'd mean that OP would have been filming whatever went on in there.

@126 I think that depends on where you live. I've been on Opiates many, many, times and for large lengths of time and have never had to sign any contracts about them. That's including when I was on the really freaking strong stuff. I've even actually had to have them refilled after someone stole a bunch from and not one person has ever said anything about it.

Can I has some? :D

chester75 5

you should switch the painkillers with sugar pills and see if they notice.

Call Dr. Drew.

No consider Dr greenthumb

13 they might go through withdrawal, which is not fun at all!!

cali_dude 5

No one can hook you up better than the family.

cali_dude 5

No one can hook you up better than the family.

marpay 11

69- if they are stealing drugs from someone who needs them they deserve to go cold turkey and have some withdrawals.

I agree marpay!!! I hope they have horrid DTs from it!

kiran_fml 5

I agree with 13, you should consider doing it and see what happens

Delirium tremens is due to alcohol withdrawal, and it is potentially fatal. Narcotics withdrawal sucks, but you don't die from it.

Well that's true if they are stealing them, you're right, I don't know what I'd do if someone stole my medicine, I have some strong narcotics. I had to go 2 days without them, OMG!!! that was awful!!!

They'll only go through withdrawl symptoms if they have been on them a long enough time and if they are strong enough. OP, you are at fault here. You need to treat these drugs as you would cash. Keep them hidden where none of them can find them. This is one of the reasons why docs are having to put refill restrictions on pain meds. Please for everyone's sake, be responsible :)


Obviously if op only thought one person was stealing them they must not have gotten too much each so making them go cold turkey wouldnt be that bad no matter what they were.

Lightbulb830 4

I'm selling some percs and oxy for cheap :D

90- please for everyones sake, shut the hell up

GuessWhatKids 13

Anyone else think 2 looks like McLovin?

magnetic_aura 26

He should be able to trust his wife to not steal medication from him.

You can really trust them now

...says the upside-down sleepy kitten.

jallred254 4

The cat can def kick the shit outta your dog

It's not sleepy it's yelling a battle cry GOSH!

So the battle crying kitteh has a dirty old uncle who is also a dog hm lol

Hide the prescription, stupid.

Or he can switch them with like vitamin pills or something (: I'd so do that :D

sxe_beast 11

I think he needs a fucking family intervention. Dear science. This is horrible.

ShroomsOnAcid 16

He should switch them with Ambien.

rebekahah 7

Switch them with laxatives and lock all the bathroom doors >:)

Matias_Says_FML 4

Maybe those painkillers are making you hallucinate!

He has it on camera. He's not hallucinating. BTW, pain meds don't generally cause hallucinations. HTH!

Matias_Says_FML 4

Yes, I am aware that he saw it on camera. I was being a bit facetious you know.

je_suis_fml 11

107- Hi, my name is Joke.. it's time we become familiar with each other..

Understood. Unfortunately, pain patients are often treated more like junkies or criminals than patients, and we can get a little fed up with it. Sorry for not giving you the benefit of the doubt.

siickman 7

lol scrubs use final stand at least ...

For that, you get -10 internets.

siickman 7

lol i was just kidding guys final stand sucks dick....copy cat is were its at (y) lmfao!!

Time for an intervention.

jillianmathers12 13

Drug family!

This all sounds ridiculously suspicious..

This all sounds ridiculously suspicious..

My deepest apologies for posting twice

bizarre_ftw 21

It takes this to tell you that? If your family steals each other's drugs I can only assume there have been other obvious hints to the dysfunction that is them