By Anonymous - 02/04/2012 05:01 - United States - Portland

Today, I came home from work to find a burglar in my house. He then said that he was just leaving, and went back out of the broken window. FML
I agree, your life sucks 30 831
You deserved it 2 394

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that sucks, but I couldn't help but giggle.

He was polite enough to wait for you to get back. Good man!


that sucks, but I couldn't help but giggle.

Did he take anything?

No, he was just visiting.

He was actually just watching the house for you. Ge was worried someone would try to break in while you were gone. Ha!

Those guys tend to be idiots. Last fall a dumbass teenage neighbor of mine broke into my house through the bathroom window when I was home. His excuse: "I was just cutting through your yard"

FML? Be thankful he just left and didnt hurt you

Youre so lucky!!! You got a visit from Santa Claus!! :D x3

um, okay random much

Why didn't he use the door?

hey I'd have broken a different window and left through that one

3- wild pic lmao

at least he didn't hurt you

50 I died of laughter.

Hey, on the bright side, he was LEAVING. You didn't have to deal with him!

This is true. OP, I don't know if you realise how lucky you are. You could've been seriously hurt. Most burglars prefer to avoid violence but a cornered rat is likely to do anything to escape.

Exquisite metaphor! :)

He was polite enough to wait for you to get back. Good man!

Indeed! Should've offered him some tea before he left.

. . . and biscuits. Can't have tea without sugar biscuits!

Call the police, throw something at them! Poor OP, I hope you didn't lose too much/didn't get ransacked. I've had my house broken into it sucks, and windows are expensive to replace!

Bad idea. There is no need to turn a mon-violent situation violent just to protect some replaceable stuff. Nothing is that valuable. Just remember what he looked like and call the cops.

I will deal with robbers how I like, gtfo. :)

Lol read my comments lol. Santa Claus just came by to collect some things that needed fixing x3 he'll be back in oh next year x3

So, 127, you want people to respect your ways, but when somebody disagrees, you get POed? Wow, you are an idiot.

I would sarcastically offer him something to drink.

That's when they sarcastically stab you...

And sarcastically rape you..

Then sarcastically sodomize you with a fruit or vegetable they found in your fridge while reciting Scripture in a nasally high-pitched voice.... Too much?

I think that's still considered rape...

And then you wake up, and find out the burglar was actually trying to save you from the.... Umm.... One fish that was crawling around your genitals, by hitting it with fruit... And err.... Was checking your temperature rectally after you collapsed on the floor, because he was concerned about your safety!! Yay! I lightened up this dark, weird... Sadistic thread with a perfectly logical explanation. ;)

Interesting fact: logic is the number one killer of humor.

That seems logical

At 73- you didn't lighten up anything you killed the joke

62 sodomy is a totally different crime to rape.

Ooonly in america!!!

No, this doesn't happen only in America.

10 - Oooooonly a stupid assumption!

No, that is only in the South.

Im in the South and I don't own a shotgun.... I own a rifle though...

28- Right, because in the north we only have rifles.

I live in yankeeville and still have guns. 12 gauge justice served hot with a side of birdshot.

Yeah ya know people in europe don't get robbed or anything...•_•

This reply is even dumber than the comment...

Now only if he jizzed all over the place the cops would have a real shot at catching this guy!

Yeah, because he's randomly going to jizz EVERYWHERE while robbing a house "Ohhh, look at that fine china, mmm!"

I do that every time I break into a house. Just trying to be a good Samaritan and help fill in those holes in the drywall, you know?

At least you'll be able to identify him during the line up.

What if he was wearing a traditional robbery mask?

It's always nice when robbers wear the traditional clothing. Did he bring a black bag?

No, I was wearing a black ski mask and the bag was taupe.