Wtf? Parents can't discipline their children either? lol guess your parents just gave you a "stern talking to" when you did bad stuff

It's funny how children are the only people on this planet that otherwise civil people think it's okay to hit when they make you mad. Take a few child development courses and learn about what that kind of stress can do to the young mind. I see kids who are hit all the time in my work. Some end up okay, others not as much. But I will tell you one thing: a child who's parents set boundaries without violence is almost always better off.

Theres a difference between abuse and spanking for discipline. One hurts, the other helps. Trust me, I know from personal experience.

From what I've seen, the kids who don't get hit, end up having control over the parents. OP's kid is a perfect example. She didn't starve or neglect her child, she was just going to sit/lay down real quick. There's a difference between beating them up, and hitting them. I'm not for hitting kids, but I was raised in a Spanish home, most Spaniards believe hitting their kid is a normal process. One curse word and I'd get slapped across the face. I didn't die, and to this day I hardly curse. This is why many children are now whiny and ungrateful. If I would have threatened my mum with calling the cops, the response would have been, 'Go ahead, I need a vacation, but trust me I'll be hitting you until they get here.'

All children are different, and not all children react the same way to certain kinds of discipline. Some respond better to lectures, some respond better to spanking, some respond better to time outs, etc. In my opinion, there's nothing wrong with spanking your child as long as s/he isn't bruised or severely hurt because of it.

I believe I said the phrase "boundaries without violence". If someone is so uncreative that they cannot think of any form of firm guidance that doesn't involve smacking a child, I believe that they should not have kids. The child was most likely very young. He probably wasn't doing it to spite his mother or anything like that. He has probably learned "there is something wrong, call the cops". This is what we tell them, right? It make sense in the mind of a very young one. You may say that there is a big difference between spanking and abuse, but from a neurobological spanking is not only ineffective but also harmful. Cortisol (a stress hormone like adrenaline) is released and damages neurons. After a while, damage becomes permanent. In effect, spanking makes kids stupider and unable to learn while in a panicked state (the same state that people claim children "learn their lesson" in whilst spanking). I know this from not only textbooks and my the knowledge of my mentors, but also personal experiences with children.

Funny, I was spanked as a kid, and I didnt become an abusive parent. I have kids, some of which were adopted out of foster care. Guess that makes me such a bad parent that I should never be able to adopt kids because I spank? Watch the classic TV show "Leave it to Beaver", they spanked in the 1950's. amazing isn't it, did those kids all grow up to be abusive parents? Nope. Jeffrey Dahmer was not spanked as a child, so what turned him bad? Neither was John Wayne Gacy, so why did he become a bad person?

hay I used to get spanked until bled never repeated the same mastake twice ever since

So what to do to a kid who doesn't respond to lectures, explanations, yelling, grounding, taking stuff away, etc? You let them do whatever they want because spanking is wrong? I've been hit so many times, and I'm not "stupid". If anything I have more self control and better manners than most people my age; because I got hit, I did well in school. My mum tried the "talking" thing which just drove me to do stupid things. Like Bianca said, kids respond differently; some kids do need to be hit in order to understand.

.... I never said anything about being spanked making you sure to be "abusive" towards your own children, though you are more likely to think that spanking and abuse is a-okay if you've been spanked. I was as a child spanked, and I against it. It does tend to make you dumber, because if you are spanked on a regular basis it kills your neurons. How much dumber? Who knows. There are other factors involved when it comes to individual intelligence, but I can tell you that spanking does not help. As far as whether your children should be taken away, it depends on other conditions as well, such as if you are otherwise a loving and nurturing parent. The way I phrased my position was extreme. Besides, my personal beliefs alone do not dictate legislation. I know nothing about Danmer and am being a bit lazy as far as research for the sake of this discussion, but Gacy was abused verbally by his father, which is just as bad if not worse. Whether you turn out to be a killer or a shining beacon of society is a multi-faceted subject, but spanking and abuse are more likely to sway you to be the former. I've been up since early, so I hope I'm making sense ...

You didn't answer my question. What are we to do with the kids who don't respond well to any other method? You simply said you exaggerated. I'm not exaggerating. I'm not saying beating a kid up, starving him, drawing blood, and so on is okay. All I'm saying is, some kids do need to be spanked to get the point across. If the parent was loving, but hit their kid once in a while when they disobeyed is that okay? You're not getting your point across very clearly. "The way I phrased my position was extreme."

That is so individual that you should try to come up with something yourself that suits that particular child and their situation. What is their living situation? Their temperament? Do they have handicaps? Instead of thinking about punishment, how can you relate to them? Do you yourself "model" appropriate behavior? Are you explaining in terms they understand? In general, if you were spanked a lot, you're stupider than you would be. Not stupid, necessarily. But it is a fact that the less neurons you have, the worse off you are in the intelligence department. I don't like to question other peoples personal experiences, but the only possible reason people are "better-mannered" is because they were taught to be afraid of making mistakes. This fear tends to inhibits free-thinking, creativity, and the ability to question. Whether you actually did better in school academically is unlikely, though you probably never made a teacher mad.

That other reply was not directed at you. I can't exactly respond to three comments simultaneously.

I agree with the first part of your post. The third part, I don't agree with. Every kid reacts differently to punishments. I made PLENTY of teachers mad. I still get them mad. I get kicked out because I question everything. My mother didn't say "thinking and question" was wrong. She simply hit me when I came home drunk or high or whatever. I'm not saying you're wrong, but I'm not saying you're right. Your side is true when it comes to certain children, but my side is true when it comes to other types of kids. If my mother would have tried to the approach you're trying with me, I would have shrugged her off. I did need to be hit in order to understand what I did wrong. My brother needed it to be explained to him. She hardly hit him, but she hit me often. He understood when it came to lectures, and groundings. I didn't.

I'm getting pretty tired (it's my about my bedtime where I am currently), but I have a question before I go: how old are the children you're talking about? My expertise lies in kids ages 0-6, where the child in the OP's post almost certainly is in age. Anyway, I guess we have come to a stalemate. I do believe that every child requires a different method, but I just cannot accept spanking as one of them. I've just never seen a case where a child really needed it because there was no other way. If on the off chance you want to look into what I am saying at all, I would recommend "Born to Love" by Dr. Bruce Perry. He goes into much more detail than I every could about neurobiology behind the connections with stress and intelligence and about why children misbehave. There are other works as well, but names aren't coming to me. With that, I bid you goodnight. :)

this whole cortisol causingbrain damage argument is stupid, no truth in it whatsoever.

55- you just helped the saying of hitting makes them dumber. "hay" and "mastake". wow

I've seen plenty of the opposite situation. Kids who's parents did not spank under any situation. Almost without exception, their kids were bratty, selfish, undisciplined, and just mean. I have two kids, one of which is hardly ever spanked. The other kid is the kind that constantly pushes boundaries. Timeout doesn't work when the kid gets up and walks out into the street. Reasoning doesn't always work with children who dont always respond to reason. There is a place for positive reinforcement, reward system, and negative reinforcement (spanking). It should never be done in anger, but it does have its place.

"Stupider"? You don't understand what you are saying here, you are merely puking up a recitation. I had all forms of punishment as a child: the explanation on why it was wrong, timeouts and groundings and the spankings. I hold multiple degrees and today I can say I have never had a "violent episode" and I believe I am a good member of society - meaning of course that I don't rape, steal or pillage. This leftist view of "non-punishment" is creating a society of kids that murder their friends and parents. Since when is an open palm to the arse such a bad thing?!

sometime what a brat needs is a good spanking let's them know they aren't the shit

Seriously. People who don't spank their children need to open their eyes. I was always spanked as a child when I was bad, BUT I was also rewarded when I was good. I couldn't be more grateful for how my parents raised me. It taught me to always have respect and to treat others the way you want to be treated. Your were probably spoiled as hell.

Sir, I agree and applaud u @thesyndrome for standing up for that. Spanking does nothing but hurt and confuse kids. I was as a child an all it did was piss me off an make me think hitting was ok

I'm so. you're an idiot. your basis for the whole cortisol being released is dumb: pain is a very useful tool. it teaches us not to get too close to fire, watch where we are going, and generally pay attention to what you're doing. it's a safety mechanism! from there you should understand I'm not an abusing "advocate" or anything. some kids are visual learners. some aren't. same principle there too. think about stuff before you waste our time with many lengthy comments.

Except some people on here are gentlemen. I'm pretty sure the male species does not deserve in any way to be mothers.

I am assuming u don't have any children of ur own...

WTF this is fml bot a fnning mothers club

True, but that's no reason to throw grammar and spelling out the window.

#22, YOU obviously don't deserve to be a mother

Are you a guy or a girl? This is to 22.

I think IT is a troll.

Agree with #100. Please stop feeding the troll, people.

That would involve more work than opening the fridge, gg.

You make a good point.