By perfectmoment - 30/11/2009 00:47 - Canada

Today, I called my boyfriend to have a shoulder to cry on because my grandpa died. As soon as I told him, he started crying and telling me how much he missed his grandmother, who died six years ago. I spent the majority of the phone call listening to him wail. FML
I agree, your life sucks 33 496
You deserved it 5 972

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You add the 'who died six years ago' as if that changes how much it sucks to lose someone. Sometimes my friends' facebook statuses say something about their grandmas/grandpas/other close family dying, and I get really upset thinking about my grandma that died in a car accident 2 years ago. And anytime anyone tries to talk about a car accident they were in, I get upset as well. Some people are sensitive and it's possible that your boyfriend was really close to his grandma, or that he bottled up his emotions after her death and has a hard time dealing with them now. It sucks that you didn't exactly get the comfort you wanted, but at least you have someone who can relate to you and help you. When my boyfriend and I met, we got to talking about the car accident I was in (the one my grandma died in) within the first week of dating - it was only 7 months after it happened and I started getting kind of upset talking about it. My not-yet-boyfriend then told me that he had lost his grandpa earlier in that year - it helped me to know know that I now knew someone who had been through what I had been through in some sense. Try to be understanding and arrange a day for your boyfriend and yourself to get together and talk about memories and such - I'm sure it will be helpful for both of you. I'm very sorry for your loss. I suggest finding a grief group - they're really helpful sometimes.

so? I know somebody who's grandma died when they were 4 (they're 22 now) and they are still sad sometimes. So its ok for you to cry but not for him? And let me guess: you weren't sad anymore?

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Lol, that sucks. You both need help.

He was probably showing you how fucking annoying it is for someone to call you with the sole intention of complaining about their problems. Now, if you called him "to inform him that your granfather had died" he would've been more cooperative, but if he answered to "MY GRANDAD JUST DIED NOW I'M GONNA KILL MYSELF I HAVE NOBODY LEFT WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH" yeah...I'd probably be a dick to.

sounds like you already are.

awwww cry together!!!!

now u know how he feels

u need help for missing someone who died? what stupid. it's ok if u miss someone

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That may be a little much. We don't know the relationship dynamic he had with his grandma and well fuck, some people just never get over it and break down easily.

Amen to that, #4... my math teacher was talking about his father dying in class one day and I went to talk to him after and I started crying because of remembering what it was like to lose my grandma. Over a year after she died.

What does it say about me that I would've hung up during that conversation? (Had I been OP) I mean seriously, it's his responsibility to help her during this time.

Wow #2, you're a bit of a bitch aren't you? For someone with "karma" in their username you'd think you'd watch out what you're saying before making dumbass comments like this. And OP, why not be supportive? At least you two can connect here and help each other out with something like this. Isn't that what you do in a relationship? Support your partner?

Self-absorbed shitbirds like the OP's boyfriend are what made me a "bitch". And that's "MS Bitch" to you, Maurice.

Amen #84. All this is is someone coming into a situation open and in need of help from someone who should provide it, and the other person making it all about themselves.

awww does someonr need a shoulder to cry on? (no sarcasm)

Yeah screw u buddy you don't know there lives.

84,89 both of y'all are a bunch of shit tards. I don't really need to say anything else.

So in a way, your saying that the OP is what you said about her boyfriend? Cuz they both did the same thing

I think he was trying to help you up. I mean perhaps he missed his grandma dearly. So maybe you should have listened to what he was trying to tell you, rather than what he's saying. Sometimes people don't go, "there, there, everything is going to be alright." Perhaps he was just trying to tell you based on experiences. People who "cheer you up" usually didn't go through the same pain and suffering, unless they're over it completely.

so it is ok for op to listen while she just got horrid news and she should shut up while her bf who had 6 years to mourn should be comforted? wow. just wow. thats so selfish. ive lost people too, but i never turn it over to my pain when friends go through this as their pain is fresher and hurt more than mine. tell me, if this was you, would you think it was ok? i know i would feel like he didnt give a shit about me and the world spins around him.

You add the 'who died six years ago' as if that changes how much it sucks to lose someone. Sometimes my friends' facebook statuses say something about their grandmas/grandpas/other close family dying, and I get really upset thinking about my grandma that died in a car accident 2 years ago. And anytime anyone tries to talk about a car accident they were in, I get upset as well. Some people are sensitive and it's possible that your boyfriend was really close to his grandma, or that he bottled up his emotions after her death and has a hard time dealing with them now. It sucks that you didn't exactly get the comfort you wanted, but at least you have someone who can relate to you and help you. When my boyfriend and I met, we got to talking about the car accident I was in (the one my grandma died in) within the first week of dating - it was only 7 months after it happened and I started getting kind of upset talking about it. My not-yet-boyfriend then told me that he had lost his grandpa earlier in that year - it helped me to know know that I now knew someone who had been through what I had been through in some sense. Try to be understanding and arrange a day for your boyfriend and yourself to get together and talk about memories and such - I'm sure it will be helpful for both of you. I'm very sorry for your loss. I suggest finding a grief group - they're really helpful sometimes.

Thank you for writing this, Cati.

I was going to type something similar, but you said everything I was going to say and more. It's very possible that the tables will be turned someday on the original poster and she will find herself breaking down when someone else brings up a lost loved one.

That's terrible. But at the same time you probably could have made it about both of you again so that you could grieve together.

What I was thinking too.

so? I know somebody who's grandma died when they were 4 (they're 22 now) and they are still sad sometimes. So its ok for you to cry but not for him? And let me guess: you weren't sad anymore?

OP deserves it for being a bitch!!!

OP deserve's it? Thats ridiculous. Put yourself in her position. Her boyfriend was being selfish, although i'm sure it wasn't on purpose and it's not really his fault, it doesn't sound like he really tried to be there for her. OP, i'm hoping he will realise he wasn't much help to you and be there for you from now on. At least this is something you can deal with together! All that aside, i'm sorry for your loss.

How was he being selfish? OP was the one who called to be cheered up. And it's even more selfish that she put up an FML because he talked about his dead grandmother and she didn't get to talk about her dead grandfather.

riku3220, my thoughts exactly. Do you think your boyfriend is this guy is always going to make YOU feel better? While most guys are assholes, they have feelings too if I were you, I would of went to his house, hug and cry together. Not write about it on fml how your life sucks Normally I think people are too harsh to the OP in all these. But this one, your whiny bitch. Sorry about your grandma, but grow up and take care of your boyfriend. At least he wasn't a dick and asked for a beer or something after you told him. Sorry your boyfriend has feelings

My grandpa died 11 years ago, when I was 6, and my nan died when I was 11. I still get upset about it, even though it was years ago. So I don't get why the OP thinks he should be over it?

Because, now SHE’s upset, and that’s more important than other people’s pain. Also, her trauma is more recent, so she gets infinity sorrow/pity points.

how is it more important than other peoples pain?

In the very simple way that sarcasm needs to be declared out loud next to every comment you make apparently.

Because op kinda deserves room for her experience as well? Sharing grief is one thing, shifting it all to you is wrong.

Who fucking cares? He at least trusts you enough to open up to you. Grow up.

He is a drama queen