Miscellaneous: Today, I brought my 90-year-old grandfather into school for a...

By Class - United States - Newton Center

Today, I brought my 90-year-old grandfather into school for a project that required to bring in "a first-hand account" of the Great Depression. He started off by telling the class how in his day, they "threw rocks at black people." FML

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Miscellaneous

Rock, hard place

Added flavor

Wait, what?

By Pururururin - 11/6/2020 08:08

Sounds bad

Today, I accidentally deleted an audio file for my first professional video project. Impossible to do a retake, because the production budget was so tight. The audio from the camera sounds bad and file recovery program still can't help. Also, the deadline is this week. FML

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By suspended - Australia

Today, while I was working customer support, a lady hung up on me mid-sentence, and I trailed off, saying "…aaannnddd you hung up on me like a bitch." Turned out she was still on the line and had just accidentally hit mute. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I learned the hard way that if you're going to pour bleach on bugs to kill them, you need to be prepared for them to fly up and try to attack your face. FML

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By herestowaiting - United States - Detroit

Today, I'm officially a week overdue. I went to the hospital, thinking I was in labor since I was in so much pain. Turns out it was just gas. The nurse couldn't hold back her look of pity as she told me this. FML

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By Oli974 - France - N?ves-parmelan

Today, it's job interview day. In the elevator on the way there, I overheard potential candidates talking about the boss of the company, mocking his alleged lack of credibility. Who's the boss? Me. They don't know that yet. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to my first day of work in over 2 years. As I approached the boss, he asked me what my name was. Turned out they hired the wrong person. FML

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By Blanerd - United States

Today, I was in a work meeting because our clientele is unhappy with our service. I was in there because I don't correct our customers when they get my name wrong. My name is Blane, but "Blair", "Blake", "Lane", and "Glenn" got rave reviews. No one picked up on this. I hate my job. FML

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By DemCherries - United States - Overland Park

Today, at my job as a police officer, I had to arrest my own girlfriend for having sex at Walmart. She tried to get me to let her out on the grounds of being "pretty" and dating me. She wants to continue the relationship. FML

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By xCZ75x - United Kingdom - Potters Bar

Today, my best friend on Snapchat is my mum. FML

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By anon - Australia - Glenfield

Today, my boyfriend was so drunk at a New Years party that he approached me and asked me who I was. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco

Today, I woke up to fresh coffee, pancakes, and the sight of my dad digging a grave in the backyard for my dog. FML

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By Terminator101101 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be funny to go to the Apple store and log me on to Facebook on every single computer. FML

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By Pandy1031 - United States - Crofton

Today, as I was shampooing my hair in the shower, the power went out. Since my house has well water, no power means no water. FML

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By 404: sense not found - United States - San Francisco

Today, some pig slapped my ass as he passed me in the street, then looked back at me with a dirty grin. His grin turned to horror when he realized that I'm actually a guy, then to anger as he bitched me out for "tricking" him by "looking like a chick". FML

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By tulisa - United States - Alexandria

Today, I witnessed the beautiful sight of a tiny baby bird struggling to take flight from its nest. "You can do it," I muttered, which I guess my asswipe of a cat heard as "Quick, go kill that bird and scar me for life, please." FML

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, my best friend of 10 years told me she had slept with a man who had a girlfriend. I told her that it wasn't that bad. She then informed me that it was my boyfriend. FML

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By justawallflower - United States - Elyria

Today, my mom told me that her vagina is "as cute today as it was twenty years ago." FML

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By poor_college_kid - United States - Tucson

Today, I found out that I owe my college a little over $10,000. Why? Because, due to a slight misspelling of my name, the scholarship that I have been going insane trying to meet the requirements for is not actually giving me any funding. FML

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By yuen - Australia

Today, I went to take a shit and found my boss shaving in the toilet. While in the cubicle, he asked me about my work and the conversation lasted 15 mins. I stayed in there even though I finished shitting after 5 mins, during which 3 people heard my progress report while shitting next to me. FML

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By Anonymous - 3/3/2021 05:01

Lookin' good

Today, I was sitting in the bus station when an old woman looked over at me, then said to her friend, "Young women are so pretty these days." Her friend looked up at me and said, "That's because makeup is so cheap these days." FML

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By ana9 - France

Today, my mother bought me Mickey Mouse shaped burgers for my dinner. I'm 19. FML

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By sysadmin:~# rm -rf / - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, my self-esteem sank so low that I sabotaged my workplace's corporate network, then fixed it, just so I could feel needed. FML

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By TheCrackerNinja - United States

Today, after weeks of my girlfriend telling me to be romantic, I decided to make a romantic bath for us, complete with oil bath beads. After we get ready to take the bath, she puts her hand in the water and says she won't get it because 'it feels slimy'. I enjoyed a romantic bath alone. FML

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By LonelyBoy - United States

Today, I realized my girlfriend has way more friends than I do. How did I realize this? She called me to tell me she was at the beach with her friends and how much fun she was having. I was playing WoW in my room, and my friends don't answer my texts. FML

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By mediocreboobs - United States

Today, I was home alone tanning in my backyard which is fairly secluded. I took my top off and laid there for awhile before I looked over and saw the UPS guy standing at my gate with a package because nobody answered the door. I looked horrified and he said not to worry, he'd seen better. FML

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By Brian - United States

Today, I had my first real meeting with my girlfriend's parents. We had dinner at a pretty upscale restaurant and everything was going great. When the check came, I offered to pay and I stood up to take out my wallet. When I opened it, 3 condoms fell out on the table in front of them. FML

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By JJAnd - United States

Today, I woke up at 7am next to the man I swore I'd never get intimate with again. After trying to get back to sleep despite my shame and disgust, he ripped the loudest fart ever. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I was performing a show about pirates for a youth program. A child started crying because I wasn't a real pirate. A little girl took my defense: "He's a real pirate, his teeth are all yellow!" FML

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By Kate - United States - Kansas City

Today, my boyfriend is seriously mad at me for telling his cat what he got it for Christmas. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - London

Today, I heard that my ex-girlfriend was spreading scurrilous rumours about me all over our university. It appears that I distribute white supremacist propaganda, and that my sexual fantasies involve animals and vegetation. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was chatting with a cute guy on Omegle. He seemed really friendly and interested after I had showed him a picture of me. When I mentioned that I play music, he seemed even more interested, so I gave him the link to my music Myspace. I waited patiently. He disconnected. FML

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By sexandanxiety - Canada - Stittsville

Today, my mother was trying to have yet another "helpful" conversation about how to fix my anxiety. My sister's insightful comment? "I think your problem is that you need to get laid." My mom agreed with her. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was chopping weeds with a weed whacker. I heard something get caught in the blades, and realized it was a frog when the leg hit me in the eye. The rest of the chopped frog ended up on my face. FML

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By j - United States

Today, my wife told me alcohol gives me "increased confidence without increased ability." FML

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By WhyAppleWhy - United States - Sarasota

Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that the loving nickname my Chinese mother has been calling me my entire life essentially translates to "little retard". FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my car got keyed because I was parked in a handicapped parking spot. I'm handicapped. FML

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By MIND BLOWING - Canada - Toronto

Today, after waking up from a drunken night, I realized the burning sensation I had from the lube during sex was because I used hand sanitizer. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend informed me that in the event of a zombie apocalypse, he'd kill me before I got infected. FML

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By brittbrat4 - United States

Today, I was jamming out in my car, tapping my fingers on the wheel and bobbing my head. At the next stoplight, I happened to look over and the passenger of the car next to me was holding a sign in the window saying, "I bet you don't have a boyfriend, do you?" FML

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Top comments

By agm77 | 9

#4423394 - Saturday 12 May 2012 8:25

Although that's horribly racist, I gotta admit, that's pretty hilarious.

By Nilla_Please | 12

#4423400 - Saturday 12 May 2012 8:26

Well he was just explaining how they couldn't afford anything so they used rocks.

COMMENTS

By CryMoreFMLs | 14

#4423361 - Saturday 12 May 2012 8:22

That is just plain horrible.

auzz1_pride | 9

#4423473 - Saturday 12 May 2012 8:45

That's how it was back in those days, only thing that has changed is it goes both ways now.

auzz1_pride | 9

#4423478 - Saturday 12 May 2012 8:45

That's how it was back in those days, only thing that has changed is it goes both ways now.

CryMoreFMLs | 14

#4423499 - Saturday 12 May 2012 8:49

Even so, throwing rocks is above and beyond . Calling them names I can understand, but throwing objects?

auzz1_pride | 9

#4423530 - Saturday 12 May 2012 8:56

25) How do you think monkeys settle disputes? They fling poo(I think) so why should we be any different with rocks?

boofgall | 16

#4423550 - Saturday 12 May 2012 9:05

25- Oh REALLY? You can understand them calling black people names? Huh.

By mhopper | 13

#4423374 - Saturday 12 May 2012 8:23

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

By lilmonster51 | 4

#4423375 - Saturday 12 May 2012 8:23

Racist!!!!! Lol

redmane | 21

#4423438 - Saturday 12 May 2012 8:35

Of course not. That's not racist at all. I see absolutely no racism in this FML.

Yes it's racist. It's apparent from the information in the text.

By HassanImran | 0

#4423377 - Saturday 12 May 2012 8:23

Sucks for you, sorry you had to deal with that.

By breeY0 | 7

#4423379 - Saturday 12 May 2012 8:24

ugh, how awkward for any african american person present in your class

By cuppycakeslove | 20

#4423381 - Saturday 12 May 2012 8:24

Now go find a hiding place.

By agm77 | 9

#4423394 - Saturday 12 May 2012 8:25

Although that's horribly racist, I gotta admit, that's pretty hilarious.

By spiff77 | 0

#4423398 - Saturday 12 May 2012 8:26

You should go hide.. probably run...

By Nilla_Please | 12

#4423400 - Saturday 12 May 2012 8:26

Well he was just explaining how they couldn't afford anything so they used rocks.

By mrtjawesome | 14

#4423404 - Saturday 12 May 2012 8:27

lol racist old people are funny especially the ones who say it in public and its awkwardly funny