Health: Today, I broke my leg. My mom told me I still have to go to tennis... - FML

By Ouch - 28/02/2015 02:25 - Hong Kong - Central District

Today, I broke my leg. My mom told me I still have to go to tennis class tomorrow because the course isn't refundable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 694

You deserved it 2 416

Mother of the year

Just a prank, bro

Bad omen

By Todd - 14/08/2012 16:14 - United States

Today, my dad got so drunk that he had an intense argument with the microwave, resulting in him threatening to ground me after I tried to calm him down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 758

You deserved it 1 956

By Anonymous - 12/02/2017 08:00 - United States

Today, I ordered some food to get delivered. When I opened the bag a fly flew out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 033

You deserved it 538

Prissy

By barfyshirt - 06/12/2009 05:25 - United States

Today, I got really sick at my boyfriend's house, and barely made it to the toilet in time to throw up. it got on my shirt so I asked if I could borrow one of his. He said I could wear one of his dad's shirts because he didn't want his to get too stretched out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 881

You deserved it 7 176

By Anonymous - 28/08/2009 13:30 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor about my bruised runners toes. She was inexperienced when It came to athletic injuries, so she googled my condition. I just paid to have her tell me exactly what I had already just googled before I left for my appointment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 102

You deserved it 4 758

By ladylol - 24/11/2012 13:54 - United Kingdom - Towcester

Spicy

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he'd rather play the new Assassin's Creed game or have a night of sex with me. He started crying from indecision. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 069

You deserved it 12 460

By blonde - 29/09/2010 07:08 - Australia

Today, I saw a crash on the highway. The police weren't yet there, so I pulled over to help because I know CPR. No one needed CPR, but I had locked myself out of my car. My roadside assist won't come to highways, so I had to get towed away in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 849

You deserved it 6 530

By Ugh - 27/02/2013 21:42 - United Kingdom

Today, my 20-year-old daughter staggered into my room at two in the morning, drunker than I ever thought a person could be, screaming for me to make pancakes for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 418

You deserved it 7 719

By iet_Wyrda - 04/10/2013 23:00 - France - Verneuil-sur-seine

Today, my dog tore up a single book from the dozens within his reach. That book was titled "How to Train Your Dog". FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 002

You deserved it 5 694

Snitches get bitches

By d for vendetta - 21/04/2021 23:00

Today, after weeks of asking my neighbor nicely to pick up his dog’s crap out of the common area, I got fed up and reported him to the landlord and the city. He’s now been given two options; either get rid of his dog or move out. He’s now sworn revenge on me, even though he was the one being gross. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 202

You deserved it 217

By Anonymous - 02/08/2012 14:12 - United States - Phoenix

Today, my daughter discovered that her Venus Fly Trap will not eat pieces of ripped-up scrap paper. Also today, I discovered that my daughter can't tell the difference between scrap paper and my monthly paycheck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 398

You deserved it 3 032

By zevil - 18/11/2008 16:54 - Peru

Today, I had a date with a girl. Wanting to make a good impression, I spend a lot of time getting ready and by the time I get to the place we were supposed to meet she isn't there anymore. I call her to see where she is. She's in bed with another guy and says "I was REALLY waiting for you". FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 721

You deserved it 9 675

Oversharing is caring

By Lauren - 12/10/2011 17:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my family. It was going well until my 23 year-old sister started telling him in detail about her constipation, and that if she doesn't take a shit in a few days, it's going to come out of her mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 373

You deserved it 2 846

By MorganRox26 - 31/12/2009 16:52 - Canada

Today, I was looking through pictures on Facebook. There was a picture of me and my friends with the caption "I love you guys!" below. I had been cropped out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 480

You deserved it 3 029

By Anonymous - 16/11/2018 13:30

Today, I was asleep in my back garden and woke up when a bird landed on my hat and took a big shit right in my open mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 875

You deserved it 440

By Anonymous - 23/09/2015 12:43 - Malta - Santa Venera

Spicy

Today, I came across the word "pegging". Not knowing what it meant, I googled it and got a very graphic explanation. Seconds later, I realised that the webpage URL actually included the sexual nature of the meaning. The IT department have logs of every page we visit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 846

You deserved it 8 013

By rubberduck1 - 16/11/2012 05:04 - United States - Mattoon

Today, I told my boss I could handle running the floor buffer. Thirty seconds in, I lost control and became pinned to the wall by its force. In my state of shock and embarrassment, I didn't realize the only thing keeping me trapped was my grip on the accelerator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 270

You deserved it 23 934

By Anonymous - 24/03/2013 21:33 - United States - Lutz

Today, a few months after my co-worker had stopped wearing her engagement ring, I decided to put on the moves and start flirting with her. I soon found out that her fiancé had died, and that she's nowhere near over him, despite her brave face. I feel like a total asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 075

You deserved it 25 767

Breakdown

By JulesBlues - 09/07/2019 06:00

Today, I sat in my doctor's office and broke down, crying and shaking, with a blood pressure of 190, getting off my chest everything that has gone wrong in my life lately. To which the doctor, well into her sixties, replied, "My goodness, I've never met anyone with so many problems!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 823

You deserved it 347

By Anonymous - 12/10/2009 20:57 - United States

Today, the 86 year old guy next door told me I needed three things in life to succeed: a cook book, a boyfriend, and a boob job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 156

You deserved it 4 854

By Anonymous - 10/02/2016 16:57 - United States - Avon

Today, there was an issue with the sewage system at work. It smelled like somebody took a turd, left it in the sun to marinate, threw up on it, then put in the air conditioning to fill the store with nauseating stink. I nearly threw up multiple times because we weren't allowed to leave early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 236

You deserved it 1 365

By boardwalk the fuck out of my resturaunt - 17/06/2019 00:01 - Netherlands - Amsterdam

Today, I received a tip in Monopoly money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 784

You deserved it 126

By lesousterre - 15/07/2015 18:06 - United States - Lees Summit

Today, my grandpa still receives more mail than me. He's been dead for three years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 816

You deserved it 2 628

By Blerp - 22/01/2017 10:00

Today, I got chewed out by my boss for not doing my job. Turns out what's described in my job description, contract, and job title isn't my job. My real job is outlined in the footnote of my contract. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 691

You deserved it 572

By DJ - 11/12/2011 01:01 - United States

Today, my creepy, stalker ex-girlfriend was given an anonymous love letter. She's convinced it's from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 125

You deserved it 2 845

By Rachel247 - 01/08/2009 23:13 - Israel

Today, we had a hike at my camp. We hiked in a line. I suddenly felt things hitting me at the back of the head. After a few minutes I finally turn around, only to discover a bunch of older guys throwing tampons at my head. They were my tampons, falling one by one out of my unzipped bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 297

You deserved it 9 972

By eric4 - 23/05/2013 20:11 - United Kingdom - Cheltenham

Today, my roommate decided to splash out on a prostitute. When my expensive watch and the contents of my wallet turned up missing in the aftermath, his only comment was, "Shit happens, bro." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 352

You deserved it 4 346

By ironies a b*tch - 13/04/2013 05:04 - United States - Chatham

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 069

You deserved it 21 702

By Char - 24/09/2017 19:00 - United Kingdom - Gravesend

Today, whilst at work, I had a woman come in with a problem with the seat in her car not moving backwards or forwards. There was a dildo stuck in the chair rail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 773

You deserved it 262

The Ex

By unKnown621 - 18/06/2021 11:01 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, my (now ex) boyfriend and I had a fight, during which he said, "This is why I talk to other girls." I called him out for admitting to cheating and he told me I was toxic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 866

You deserved it 184

By Cogibbt - 03/08/2019 12:00 - Canada

Today, my mom found out that paper is made from trees. She read it on a garbage truck. I then had to explain to her how it's made. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 473

You deserved it 115

By Anonymous - 22/11/2009 04:12 - United States

Today, I got diagnosed with stomach ulcers. They are very painful, and I have been throwing up blood. On my latest trip to the toilet, I was heaving and the pain was making me beat the floor with my fist, the toilet lid decided to come crashing down on my head, giving me a minor concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 715

You deserved it 3 951

By Anonymous - 24/01/2015 18:33 - Romania - Campina

Today, it's been 3 months since my dog scratched my 9 year old granddaughter after she walked over and repeatedly kicked him. My daughter has disowned me and won't let me see my own grandchildren until I have my companion of 11 years "destroyed". FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 215

You deserved it 2 894

By Anonymous - 03/12/2009 02:37 - United States

Spicy

Today, I would rather pound to porn than have sex with my wife, because trying to get her in the mood is too much hassle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 075

You deserved it 12 678

By veggiedude - 08/05/2014 03:01 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my girlfriend suggested we try something new and spontaneous. Excited to find out first-hand what she had in mind, and ready to fool around, I hurried over to her place. Turns out she's just taken up vegan cooking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 642

You deserved it 6 595

By bob the builder - 08/11/2012 14:36 - United States - Ridgeland

Today, I'm at work on a construction site for a high rise building, on the 12th floor today. I've developed a severe case of the runs, causing me to need to rush to the nearest toilet periodically. Luckily for me it's conveniently located on the ground floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 319

You deserved it 1 725

By BroadwayBaby1997 - 17/09/2016 15:26 - United States - Mission

Today, I've had more crushes on fictional characters than actual people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 349

You deserved it 2 557

Freaky

By Marie - 20/01/2021 05:01

Today, I have been finding long black hairs all over my bathroom. My hair is short and blonde, and I live alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 029

You deserved it 57

Wiped out

By STIgary - 17/07/2021 16:01 - United States

Today, while at work, I had to poop. While wiping, I somehow managed to get the back tail of my shirt in between my butthole and the toilet paper, effectively wiping my ass with my white dress shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 925

You deserved it 248

By achoo-plop - 30/11/2015 01:17 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I learned that the only way for me to have a complete bowel movement is to blow my nose at the same time. However, I learned this while standing in my girlfriend's kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 526

You deserved it 1 972

Keeping it in the family

By Anonymous - 12/10/2021 15:01 - Jordan - Amman

Today, my dad tried to hook me up with someone. It wouldn't be so bad if she wasn't my cousin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 819

You deserved it 68

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Top comments

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Saturday 28 February 2015 14:40

Protest and raise a racquet until she relents.

bethanyhopkins 49

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Saturday 28 February 2015 14:48

What exactly does she expect you to do when you're there...?

Comments

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Saturday 28 February 2015 14:38

Lol just remember she loves and cares about you ??

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Saturday 28 February 2015 16:24

Why would she send her daughter to tennis in spite of a broken leg then?

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Sunday 1 March 2015 3:49

It's a play on the word "Love" which I believe is a score of 0 in Tennis.

Masift 21

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Monday 2 March 2015 14:29

no.... that's not what it is at all

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Saturday 28 February 2015 14:40

Burn your mom in fire.

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Saturday 28 February 2015 14:46

Urm really?..

bethanyhopkins 49

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Saturday 28 February 2015 14:49

I don't think that would be advisable

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Saturday 28 February 2015 14:56

Well that escalated quickly.

siggy_mcsigx 22

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Saturday 28 February 2015 15:50

Alright, Stewie.

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Saturday 28 February 2015 18:09

That may be slightly illegal

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Saturday 28 February 2015 14:40

Protest and raise a racquet until she relents.

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Saturday 28 February 2015 15:12

Violence is not the answer. In the words of Bob Marley, "one-love".

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Saturday 28 February 2015 15:16

There's a good "take her to court" pun somewhere here for the "you should sue crew".

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Saturday 28 February 2015 17:12

Good joke, but one-love is impossible because tennis goes by 5s.

patrickalamo 47

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Saturday 28 February 2015 14:41

You can learn from watching.

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Saturday 28 February 2015 17:15

true. OP could still learn techniques and tips

JHam12 14

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Saturday 28 February 2015 14:42

Some people love money more than safety.Besides you can't play also

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Saturday 28 February 2015 14:43

Damn, sorry op!

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Saturday 28 February 2015 14:44

lmfao

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Saturday 28 February 2015 19:17

Well aren't you just phenomenally insightful.

Masift 21

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Monday 2 March 2015 14:32

I absolutely despise people like yourself. You laugh at someone else's bad situation. I once wrote a really nice comment to a guy on youtube talking about something shitty that happened to me and people replied to me "LOL" and "haha" like honestly what the fuck is wrong with you?

bethanyhopkins 49

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Saturday 28 February 2015 14:48

What exactly does she expect you to do when you're there...?

Tthug 34

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Saturday 28 February 2015 14:53

Break a leg of course!

Noelletakumi 36

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Saturday 28 February 2015 16:10

Well, you can be glad it's not something like track or cross country...

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Saturday 28 February 2015 17:18

She probably just wants op to go. I guess she doesn't really expect him to play, but she expects him to go because it's been paid for. He'll probably just sit and watch

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Saturday 28 February 2015 17:49

#26, tennis runs a lot also. Just like xc or track. And 90% of the time, the running is in short sprints, constantly

Brandi_Faith 33

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Saturday 28 February 2015 21:51

I imagine op's mom is thinking that it's better for him to learn from watching then to miss everything. However if op just broke their foot they're probably really uncomfortable and the mom should totally give them a break and let them lie around for a few days. (No pun intended.)

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Sunday 1 March 2015 4:24

Obviously play with some balls...

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Saturday 28 February 2015 14:51

Hide the car keys so no one can go anywhere.

KhaleesiDannie 26

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Saturday 28 February 2015 14:58

Does she know how tennis works? You're not going to get much out of the lesson like that but maybe they can reschedule the lessons till after your leg heals

Nearly

Today, it has been 7 years of me submitting FML’s. I don’t know what worse, that I’ve submitted so many of that none have never been featured. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13

You deserved it 9

Today, I spent my 25th birthday crying alone in my room with my baby, because no else seemed to care it was my birthday. My partner and I had a fight the night before and we haven’t spoken or seen each other since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 16

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I found out I’m going to be a father, twice over, with two different women. Sisters, in fact. Only one of those sisters is my wife. Should I flee abroad, or walk calmly towards the firing squad straight away? FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 2 065

Today, my boyfriend finally told me after over two years together that the reason we only have sex once a month is because my stomach is, “off-putting”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 855

You deserved it 191