Today, I awoke to banging at my door. It was my neighbor, accusing me of stealing her mail to spy on her, because apparently she thinks I must be some sort of secret agent. The cops don't believe me when I call, and she won't go away. FML
Add a comment - Reply to : #
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Create my account
Sign in
Top comments
By
olii_fml
| 0
Tell her that she's blown your cover and that you're going to have to kill her
By
denvan
| 0
Tell her the aliens are coming for her
COMMENTS
By
denvan
| 0
Tell her the aliens are coming for her
Reply
urdirtyolduncle
| 15
Tell her to stfu and let you make your next 007 film. Then request a sex scene with her for the "film." If she's ugly, ask for her daughter.
Reply
whyXD
| 12
use your imagination, have fun.
Reply
tacocannon99
| 5
tell her your actually a Porno director. if he asks which one, just say: avrile lavigne and Emma Watson sex tape; the anal hammer. works every time.
Reply
baddud300
| 6
Better buy a tuxedo.... doo roo doo do do rooooo
Reply
rallets
| 22
were they butt naked banging on your bathroom door?
Reply
Thunderbender
| 2
. . . Well are you a spy?
Reply
goaliemkl123
| 8
badud300. that's not the beat for 007 at all.
Reply
dolphincheddar
| 10
umm.. calling the cops is a bit drastic. and your neighbors a creep but at least she doesn't stalk you or something..
Reply
ChibiChibi_fml
| 27
How is calling the cops drastic if the woman won't go away? If she's been asked repeatedly to leave and refuses than calling the cops seems like the best response. If she seems a bit crazy (as someone accusing you of being a spy might) it seems like the smart response.
Reply
bubbly31
| 0
I'm pretty sure if you call the cops they have to come
Reply
a_nutritionist
| 10
"there are 5 snipers trained on you as we speak, if you value your life you should turn around and walk away now. ill pretend this conversation never took place and wont need to tell my superiors the mission is compromised and to terminate the subject immediately."
Reply
ceepevoy
| 0
3 fingers, were the 3 best friends that anyone can have.
Reply
WallyTheWombat
| 0
Hit her with a bat, she'll go away.
By
aubcope14
| 0
well, you know what they say...
Reply
KaySL
| 24
No, but please feel free to enlighten us.
Reply
NomOnShroomz
| 14
Well I know what your mom said last night... would you like me to enlighten you?
Reply
atthegates
| 0
im embarrassed for you 19......
Reply
lucas18xx53
| 0
lmfao 6 ahahaha
Reply
aubcope14
| 0
smart asses
Reply
sydneyaval
| 9
What DO they say? Please tell cuz i am just NOT getting it!
Reply
sydneyaval
| 9
are you an Austrailian?
Reply
aubcope14
| 0
lmao, I'm not.
By
olii_fml
| 0
Tell her that she's blown your cover and that you're going to have to kill her
Reply
jonathanje2
| 0
That looks so awsome with that picture lol
Reply
Lumenoire
| 0
This must be the same neighbor that thinks that OP is trying to steal her husband..
Reply
brittiboo1
| 0
#73 haha i was thinkn tha same thing
Reply
ArentICute
| 0
Lmao, I thought so too.
Reply
daisy963
| 4
I second that
By
jenzan
| 8
The name's Bond, James Bond, let me show you to my room and I'll explain everything...
By
rainbo955
| 0
that's actually funny. I'd play along and do spy-like stuff whenever she's looking, lol.
Reply
hellokat1
| 0
That's a good idea. Maybe she'll be so freaked out, she'll move away.
Reply
NomOnShroomz
| 14
Or maybe she'll be freaked out and stab her. See not such a good idea.
Reply
rainbo955
| 0
who would stab a secret agent? Lol
Reply
rainbo955
| 0
who would stab a secret agent? Lol
Reply
rainbo955
| 0
oopsy, stupid iPhone double posting.
Reply
rainbo955, obviously the neighbour would stab him, because she's crazy enough..
By
satanic_fml
| 13
well stop being a secret agent then
By
heartbrakej
| 0
what would happen if I hired two detectives to follow eachother?
Reply
OkayImSorry
| 0
Who cares...
Reply
scottishandrew1
| 0
you would find out who the better detective was?
Reply
MrSassypants
| 32
They would keep looking out for each other then eventually both of them would follow each other in circles for awhile (I don't mean two feet away circles, I mean around the block circles) and would think each other were suspicious for doing that and might confront each other and find out your plan... then you're just screwed buddy.
Reply
sydneyaval
| 9
i dunno
Reply
ryanst
| 7
But what if you have a detective following a detective who's following a detective who's following the first detective?
Reply
raphanne_fml
| 33
And have you ever wondered how many bears could bear grylls grill if bear grylls could grill bears?
By
OkayImSorry
| 0
She knows too much. Kill her now.
Reply
CommonSenseKarma
| 17
NO WAIT, OKAY IM SORRY I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING
By
unluckiestperson_fml
| 14
Shut the door, and lock it. If the cops won't believe you then they can't blame you if she phones them cos you ignore her.
By
scottishandrew1
| 0
I'd have to set up a telescope in front of my window and point it at her house...... cause I'm gangsta like that!
Reply
brittiboo1
| 0
just wantd to tell ya that ur pic is freakkkkyy