By MIB - 13/07/2011 16:26 - United States

Today, I awoke to banging at my door. It was my neighbor, accusing me of stealing her mail to spy on her, because apparently she thinks I must be some sort of secret agent. The cops don't believe me when I call, and she won't go away. FML
I agree, your life sucks 32 688
You deserved it 2 808

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Top comments

Tell her that she's blown your cover and that you're going to have to kill her

denvan 0

Tell her the aliens are coming for her


denvan 0

Tell her the aliens are coming for her

Tell her to stfu and let you make your next 007 film. Then request a sex scene with her for the "film." If she's ugly, ask for her daughter.

use your imagination, have fun.

tacocannon99 5

tell her your actually a Porno director. if he asks which one, just say: avrile lavigne and Emma Watson sex tape; the anal hammer. works every time.

Better buy a tuxedo.... doo roo doo do do rooooo

rallets 22

were they butt naked banging on your bathroom door?

Thunderbender 2

. . . Well are you a spy?

badud300. that's not the beat for 007 at all.

umm.. calling the cops is a bit drastic. and your neighbors a creep but at least she doesn't stalk you or something..

How is calling the cops drastic if the woman won't go away? If she's been asked repeatedly to leave and refuses than calling the cops seems like the best response. If she seems a bit crazy (as someone accusing you of being a spy might) it seems like the smart response.

bubbly31 0

I'm pretty sure if you call the cops they have to come

a_nutritionist 10

"there are 5 snipers trained on you as we speak, if you value your life you should turn around and walk away now. ill pretend this conversation never took place and wont need to tell my superiors the mission is compromised and to terminate the subject immediately."

3 fingers, were the 3 best friends that anyone can have.

WallyTheWombat 0

Hit her with a bat, she'll go away.

aubcope14 0

well, you know what they say...

Well I know what your mom said last night... would you like me to enlighten you?

im embarrassed for you 19......

lucas18xx53 0

lmfao 6 ahahaha

aubcope14 0

smart asses

What DO they say? Please tell cuz i am just NOT getting it!

are you an Austrailian?

aubcope14 0

lmao, I'm not.

Tell her that she's blown your cover and that you're going to have to kill her

That looks so awsome with that picture lol

Lumenoire 0

This must be the same neighbor that thinks that OP is trying to steal her husband..

#73 haha i was thinkn tha same thing

Lmao, I thought so too.

The name's Bond, James Bond, let me show you to my room and I'll explain everything...

that's actually funny. I'd play along and do spy-like stuff whenever she's looking, lol.

That's a good idea. Maybe she'll be so freaked out, she'll move away.

Or maybe she'll be freaked out and stab her. See not such a good idea.

who would stab a secret agent? Lol

who would stab a secret agent? Lol

oopsy, stupid iPhone double posting.

loooooooooool_fml 1

rainbo955, obviously the neighbour would stab him, because she's crazy enough..

well stop being a secret agent then

heartbrakej 0

what would happen if I hired two detectives to follow eachother?

scottishandrew1 0

you would find out who the better detective was?

They would keep looking out for each other then eventually both of them would follow each other in circles for awhile (I don't mean two feet away circles, I mean around the block circles) and would think each other were suspicious for doing that and might confront each other and find out your plan... then you're just screwed buddy.

ryanst 7

But what if you have a detective following a detective who's following a detective who's following the first detective?

And have you ever wondered how many bears could bear grylls grill if bear grylls could grill bears?

She knows too much. Kill her now.

CommonSenseKarma 17


Shut the door, and lock it. If the cops won't believe you then they can't blame you if she phones them cos you ignore her.

scottishandrew1 0

I'd have to set up a telescope in front of my window and point it at her house...... cause I'm gangsta like that!

just wantd to tell ya that ur pic is freakkkkyy