Are you sure he was drunk? I'm always up for an argument with inanimate objects.

Me: Obama is better than Romney!!!
Lamp: *short circuits*

7 - Your lamp is obviously smart and couldn't understand how people would be stupid enough to let idiot stay in office, to a point that it couldn't take it anymore and shorted.

Yeah I remember when my microwave didn't wave at me I got pretty mad.

Me: My bulb is hotter than yours!
Lamp: *short circuits*

I always have conversations with my microwave. Whenever My food is done the screen flashes "your food is done"... I'd feel like such a bitch without thanking it

I'm always having arguments with the tumble dryer. It's always the same problem, same issues, going round and round in circles.

I'm just worried which half :/

Who won the argument then?

The microwave obviously! OP's dad was getting stripped of his dignity!

I like to think that it went a little like this:
Dad: What are you lookin' at, you dumb microwave.
Microwave: I was thinking that you were as fatty as that pork you made me cook today, you swine. You need to go cold-turkey on the booze.
Dad: Whaddyou just say? Why I oughta... I'll give you some meat, you little shit. *Takes off pants and approaches microwave sluggisly.*
Microwave: What would you have me do with that? I've cooked coctail sausages bigger than that. I know it says "microwave" but that's my method of cooking, not a suggestion of size of portion! Let's not exaggerate here, that's not even a weiner.
Dad: You're in for it now! *starts punching microwave* Defrost that, bitch.
Microwave: *beeping, buttons being mashed* 1:00 min. Start. You always were a minute-man.
Dad: I'm sick of your half-baked insults! *Throws microwave to the floor and smashes it*

#32 - that was beautiful. I'm considering doing that as a monologue for theater.

What kind of theater piece involves a microwave and a drunkard?
Although it could be a cool idea for a sitcom.

Theater is a form of art and expression.. There are no limits.

The microwave was asking for it! Did you hear that tone it used when it beeped? It's lucky your father didn't give it the beating it deserved.

Stupid fucking smug appliances.

I love you man.

Better go break it up before it gets violent because apparently the microwave looked at him funny.

What the microwave didnt want to heat his meat?

It's because the microwave is on a different wavelength.

or the microwave came home baked.

I'm hoping it was the top half of him that was naked...

What was the argument about?

Always blowing up the tips of hot dogs.

Things are getting heated