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The microwave was asking for it! Did you hear that tone it used when it beeped? It's lucky your father didn't give it the beating it deserved. Stupid fucking smug appliances.

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7 - Your lamp is obviously smart and couldn't understand how people would be stupid enough to let idiot stay in office, to a point that it couldn't take it anymore and shorted.

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I always have conversations with my microwave. Whenever My food is done the screen flashes "your food is done"... I'd feel like such a bitch without thanking it

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I'm always having arguments with the tumble dryer. It's always the same problem, same issues, going round and round in circles.

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I like to think that it went a little like this: Dad: What are you lookin' at, you dumb microwave. Microwave: I was thinking that you were as fatty as that pork you made me cook today, you swine. You need to go cold-turkey on the booze. Dad: Whaddyou just say? Why I oughta... I'll give you some meat, you little shit. *Takes off pants and approaches microwave sluggisly.* Microwave: What would you have me do with that? I've cooked coctail sausages bigger than that. I know it says "microwave&q

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What kind of theater piece involves a microwave and a drunkard? Although it could be a cool idea for a sitcom.

The microwave was asking for it! Did you hear that tone it used when it beeped? It's lucky your father didn't give it the beating it deserved. Stupid fucking smug appliances.

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