Today, I attended my extended family's Christmas dinner. All throughout, my grandmother kept complaining about how the food tasted like crap, and making...

By Anonymous - 25/12/2011 20:38 - United Kingdom

Today, I attended my extended family's Christmas dinner. All throughout, my grandmother kept complaining about how the food tasted like crap, and making sexual remarks such as how "the stuffings were far better in my day, if you know what I mean." FML

I agree, your life sucks

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Today, at work where I'm a physiotherapist, I was helping a patient with lower back pain. While I was massaging him, he shat himself....

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By rattusrattus | 18

#3787969 - Monday 26 December 2011 2:13

Sex. Cocks. Stuffing her pussy. Good old-fashioned fucking. Rodgering passionately. Shagging. Intercourse. Possibly buttsex, if she was into that. Screwing. Pushing the box. Knowing each other in the Biblical fashion. In and out. Banging, boinking, bumping uglies. Smiting evil. Hanky panky. Pokey-poke. Makin' whoopee. Knocking boots. The nasty. Romp in the hay. Nookie. Making the beast with two backs.

Am I making myself clear?

By sugarandspice33 | 0

#3787779 - Monday 26 December 2011 1:32

Old people are always complaining...and that's because in "her day" she actually had teeth.

Comments

By mrs_bruno_mars | 14

#3787776 - Monday 26 December 2011 1:31

Pwned by an old woman, I see?

THE_A_TEEN | 27

#3787877 - Monday 26 December 2011 1:48

More like freaked out by a horny granny.

isitinmybedroom | 11

#3787986 - Monday 26 December 2011 2:19

Thumb up if u like tacos

isitinmybedroom | 11

#3788685 - Monday 26 December 2011 7:17

Thumb up if you like tacos

mrs_bruno_mars | 14

#3790972 - Monday 26 December 2011 22:21

It is close to the same thing, correct? Sorry, sometimes American idioms confuse me.

By sugarandspice33 | 0

#3787779 - Monday 26 December 2011 1:32

Old people are always complaining...and that's because in "her day" she actually had teeth.

eeppiicc | 8

#3787825 - Monday 26 December 2011 1:38

Back in her day she also had boobs that didn't sag to her stomach

EllyMo | 15

#3787841 - Monday 26 December 2011 1:40

Whats between a 70 year old woman's breasts that isn't between a 20 year old woman's breasts?

Her naval.

monkeysareyummy | 0

#3788005 - Monday 26 December 2011 2:24

But if she was complaining about the amount of "stuffing" then why would she need teeth? Teeth hurt.

n_epic_fail | 14

#3788164 - Monday 26 December 2011 3:19

old people, you can count on them always being toothless and horny (in no specific order).

AlaskanEskimo34 | 0

#3788566 - Monday 26 December 2011 6:23

yea my grandma always complains about teens having sex and babies so young, but if they had a "16 and pregnant" back in the old days, she'd star in it.

lilpowers | 3

#3791034 - Monday 26 December 2011 22:59

Back in the old days if you weren't 16 and pregnant there was something wrong with you.

By soccerguy2 | 11

#3787786 - Monday 26 December 2011 1:34

you can't expect to be with your family and have no complaining.

By choshaki | 8

#3787788 - Monday 26 December 2011 1:34

It's normal, my moms not even that old and she still complains. Get over it OP

AngrehPirate | 0

#3787851 - Monday 26 December 2011 1:41

But does your mum make sexual remarks about the things she is complaining about?

silentbutfunny | 0

#3790804 - Monday 26 December 2011 20:04

I can see an old skinny orange haired gramma smoking a cigarette making sexual remarks abouy stuffing. Not that hard to imagine

Brock13598 | 0

#3791167 - Tuesday 27 December 2011 0:34

What is OP?

golfer_boi | 10

#4458095 - Sunday 20 May 2012 5:19

Octagonal Penis clearly. Orangutan Pussy. Shall I continue?

trivel64 | 16

#5135604 - Saturday 10 November 2012 21:56

Outrageous Popcorn... don't listen to the other guy.

By FMLsOhilarious | 6

#3787789 - Monday 26 December 2011 1:34

What is your grandmother's comment supposed to mean? I don't get it...

AngrehPirate | 0

#3787835 - Monday 26 December 2011 1:39

Then you shouldn't be on here

fancyclown | 9

#3787885 - Monday 26 December 2011 1:51

She was obviously talking about taxidermies.

THE_A_TEEN | 27

#3787932 - Monday 26 December 2011 2:03

Someone doesn't understand sexual innuendo...

wilbiepig_fml | 0

#3787936 - Monday 26 December 2011 2:04

She's talking about... sex. Seems obvious to me.

rattusrattus | 18

#3787969 - Monday 26 December 2011 2:13

FMLsOhilarious | 6

#3788021 - Monday 26 December 2011 2:28

#26 I understand sexual innuendo just fine. I've just never heard it put that way before. Frankly comparing stuffing to sex is sickening to me...especially around the table with family whilst having Christmas dinner.

twinny_sc | 13

#3788076 - Monday 26 December 2011 2:38

38, Hence the FML.

A7X_LoVeee | 10

#3788167 - Monday 26 December 2011 3:19

Hmm 33 I still didn't get the message.

blackstar994 | 5

#3788212 - Monday 26 December 2011 3:36

I'm with 48. A few more and I might.

Monkeybuttcream | 4

#3788603 - Monday 26 December 2011 6:34

Grandma, tell us the story about the time you took on 12 cocks and won!

elk21dbm | 18

#3792212 - Tuesday 27 December 2011 6:15

U win just for actually saying "making the beast with two backs." I've only ever heard it twice

By raphanne_fml | 33

#3787800 - Monday 26 December 2011 1:35

She is like Joey Tribbiani, we always know what they mean...

DayAndNite | 8

#3790976 - Monday 26 December 2011 22:24

Pretty good if you know what I mean.

By rcloca | 10

#3787807 - Monday 26 December 2011 1:35

Grandma still got some swag I see.

patnix | 6

#3788569 - Monday 26 December 2011 6:23

Grandmas will always have swag

desireev | 17

#3791648 - Tuesday 27 December 2011 2:38

I've heard of S&M.. But not S&S.. Swag and Sag... Yeeeeaah!!! :D

By flockz | 19

#3787816 - Monday 26 December 2011 1:36

"that time with your grandfather wow. talk about roasting his chestnuts in front of an open fire. sex on a bearskin rug is amazing just to let you know."