Work: Today, I attempted to make a good impression amongst new coworkers...

By EmployeeOfTheMonth - 09/06/2013 23:33 - United States - Montpelier

Today, I attempted to make a good impression amongst new coworkers by volunteering to be the designated driver at my work party. What did that get me? A backseat full of puke and some idiot too drunk to remember where he lived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 433

You deserved it 9 123

Work

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ironichalibut 24

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Monday 10 June 2013 9:14

At least you're all alive though, although it sounds like most will wish they weren't in the morning

GemmaStyles 14

Monday 10 June 2013 9:14

Hey on the bright side you won't be the one with the hangover in the morning

ironichalibut 24

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Monday 10 June 2013 9:14

At least you're all alive though, although it sounds like most will wish they weren't in the morning

jerzjay 17

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Monday 10 June 2013 10:04

I live for those hangovers in the morning, means I had a successful night.

GemmaStyles 14

Monday 10 June 2013 9:14

Hey on the bright side you won't be the one with the hangover in the morning

alyssawatters 7

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Monday 10 June 2013 9:16

Lesson learned: never volunteer to be the Designated Driver.

CharresBarkrey 15

Monday 10 June 2013 9:45

DD's usually get free soda at most bars, too! It's not all bad.

twaumat 28

Monday 10 June 2013 9:16

that's not how you make friends...

Mr_Satan 11

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Monday 10 June 2013 9:17

Next time tell them if they have enough money to drink, they have enough to pay for a cab.

demonwolfmaster 26

Monday 10 June 2013 19:27

Or, be smart and not use your own car. It's the first rule of DD never use your own car.

chabelo 10

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Monday 10 June 2013 9:18

well if you wanted to make a good impression there are some other ways that don't involve taking care of drunk people

dead_insects 18

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Monday 10 June 2013 9:20

seems like they left an impression of their own...

baseballdude1283 18

Monday 10 June 2013 9:20

Always a good story atleast :P

Drifting 21

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Monday 10 June 2013 9:21

I hate when good intentions fail...sorry OP

SirTalkaton 22

Monday 10 June 2013 9:24

Oh the joys of being the DD. Sorry OP, now you know not to do that again.

Nearly

Today, I struck out with two potential girlfriends, and then found out Jason David Frank died. I grew up with Power Rangers. Both types of heartbreak on one day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45

You deserved it 25

Today, I ate an apple. It was good. It was red. inside was not red. red is cool. cool things are red. I like pizza. pizza is good. pizza has the letter Z in it. Z is a cool letter. I like Z. I wonder why zzz means sleeping. Sleeping has an S and not a Z. I like winning. Winning is good. Losing is bad. Bad is not good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8

You deserved it 53

Spicy

Today, I hooked up with a man for the first time since my divorce. The sex was mind-blowing. His pillow talk then began with something like, “A cabal of Hollywood celebrities and political insiders want to rape your children…” I’m so dry now, I think I hit menopause. FML

I agree, your life sucks 200

You deserved it 53

Today, I woke up to find my 8 year-old on my phone, reading explicit messages between my boyfriend and me. Apparently, having a password that is a jumble of random letters and numbers is too easy for her to guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 288

You deserved it 145

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