Today, I asked my Mom to buy me new shorts. She bought fluffy... - FML

By - 29/1/2019 14:00 - Germany - Bad Frankenhausen

Today, I asked my Mom to buy me new shorts. She bought fluffy bubble shorts. I'm a 20 year old guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1253

You deserved it

2024

Tweet

Share

Understandable

Nice neighborhood

Compassion

By Anonymous - 4/11/2010 06:41 - United States

Today, I called a guy who had requested a free marketing consultation for his funeral home through the internet a couple of days ago. When I got through, the receptionist seemed a little taken back by me wanting to talk to him. He had died and was buried yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24369

You deserved it

2620

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 5/5/2020 02:00

Getting the point across

Today, I was discharged from hospital and I took a cab home. The driver drove really fast and made sharp turns that made me feel nauseous. As I opened my mouth to tell him to slow down, I threw up all over the back seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1552

You deserved it

108

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 5/2/2013 06:40 - United States - Northbrook

Today, after trying to convince my girlfriend to have sex for almost 16 months, she finally said yes. I couldn't get it up the second she said it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27053

You deserved it

39479

Tweet

Share

By fail - 21/12/2010 09:38 - United States

Today, an attractive guy told me he wanted to get to know me and see me again. When I told my boyfriend, in hopes of stirring up some jealousy, he said "he'll regret it when he finds out what you're like in bed, trust me." FML

I agree, your life sucks

23973

You deserved it

43004

Tweet

Share

By Somethingswrongwiththispic - 5/8/2010 08:17 - United States

Today, I was watching this show about fat people. I was wondering how people could let this happen to themselves. Then I looked down and saw a giant bowl of popcorn, ice cream, potato chips, and soda. I thus figured out how people do this to themselves. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10155

You deserved it

46775

Tweet

Share

By notyouraverage - 3/4/2018 19:00

Today, I was doing a PowerPoint presentation in front of my whole class, when I accidentally clicked on the folder that has zillions of pictures of my crush. He's one of my classmates. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2415

You deserved it

6679

Tweet

Share

By analeis - 25/3/2012 18:04 - United Kingdom - Liverpool

Today, I was vomiting after an evening of drinking. My boyfriend was kind enough to hold my hair back while I spewed chunks into the toilet. Apparently he got bored though, because his hands made their way down to my boobs, which he started jiggling while singing Jingle Bells. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17688

You deserved it

29265

Tweet

Share

By DemiRawrs - 1/5/2013 17:23 - United States

Today, my mom accused me of being pregnant. She wouldn't believe me when I told her I'm a virgin, and she challenged me to take a pregnancy test. It came back with a false positive. FML

I agree, your life sucks

64484

You deserved it

4679

Tweet

Share

By I Have Failed - 2/4/2014 20:10 - Spain - Madrid

Today, my 14-year-old son's pathetic rebellion came to a head. He ran away from home, leaving a note saying he hates me and was leaving forever to be part of a gang his friends had formed. He came back an hour later crying. His whole gang had gotten mugged, which he somehow blamed me for. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53997

You deserved it

6565

Tweet

Share

By Beva - 17/1/2013 05:03 - Sweden - Falk?ping

Today, due to technical problems, I had to call the company's IT-support as my computer went totally haywire. I explained via phone that I couldn't access anything. The support then tried contacting me by e-mail and got upset with me when I didn't answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32953

You deserved it

2376

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 12/6/2009 07:53 - Canada

Today, I was at my job at an old folks home, and I was cleaning off a table when one old lady looks up at me and says "I've been a dirty dirty girl" in a seductive tone, I thought she meant about the table so I said "yes you have" then she winked at me, I walked away fast. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50670

You deserved it

9595

Tweet

Share

By promposer - 4/4/2016 18:55 - United States - Dobbs Ferry

Today, I asked a girl to prom by having 5 friends hold up signs saying "P-R-O-M-?" while I snuck up behind her. She said yes... to my friend holding the "?", who she thought was the one asking her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26500

You deserved it

4433

Tweet

Share

By Noname - 15/3/2009 19:32 - United States

Today, I went for a jog in my neighborhood. While I was running I passed my girlfriend's parents who were out for a walk. Trying to make a good impression, I stopped to talk. When I got home I realized I was wearing a shirt that friends gave me as a joke. It said "Blow me, bitch. It's my b-day." FML

I agree, your life sucks

21071

You deserved it

78938

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 21/1/2015 14:34 - United States

Today, at Walmart, a crazy old woman bitched me out for being pregnant. She kept following me around, calling me a stupid teen slut and saying she hoped my baby died so I could live a "normal life". I'm 26 and just very short. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44485

You deserved it

2668

Tweet

Share

By Ana - 14/8/2018 01:30

Today, while fighting with a girl I hate, my nose piercing got a little loose and I ended up snorting it in. That same girl had to take me to the hospital for surgery. She told everyone afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2025

You deserved it

1069

Tweet

Share

By CDeVeney92 - 17/3/2012 04:37 - United States

Today, I got threatened with a gun through the drive thru speaker because I didn't offer some guy any pies to go with his meal. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28867

You deserved it

3164

Tweet

Share

By Harejordan - 4/2/2009 16:44 - United States

Today, I was driving and stopped behind a person at a stop sign. Their car didn't move for about 1 minute. I got out of my car yelling at the person. It was an old woman. She wasn't breathing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20062

You deserved it

36273

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 23/10/2013 16:04 - Canada - Richmond

Today, I witnessed my boyfriend taking a dump in the litter box. He said he wanted to know what it felt like for the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49365

You deserved it

5809

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 13/10/2011 23:25 - United States

Today, my dad took my phone away. This would be fine if I was 14. I'm 22 and pay for all of my own bills. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34959

You deserved it

4809

Tweet

Share

By cbarebo - 11/10/2009 17:21 - United States

Today, I went in my room to play my guitar. I found my Les Paul on the floor with all the strings missing. I later found out my grandma cut them off because I was playing "Devil's Music." FML

I agree, your life sucks

49595

You deserved it

3678

Tweet

Share

By crybaby - 28/6/2016 17:54 - United States - Seattle

Today, I went to let my puppy out, and I turned around to see her peeing on the carpet. After getting her outside, I saw my little sister pooping on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11557

You deserved it

805

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 16/12/2009 12:09 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years confessed that he was sleeping with me and 5 other girls while we first started dating. He told me he numbered us and rolled a die to see which one he would date. I guess I won. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39401

You deserved it

3811

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 6/7/2011 11:06 - United Kingdom

Today, I was the designated driver. It was also my birthday party. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43081

You deserved it

5388

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 13/8/2014 14:18 - United Kingdom - Paignton

Today, a potential customer was looking at a treadmill at the fitness warehouse I work at. Once he was done testing it out, I asked him if he'd like me to order it for him. His reply? "Nah. I only had a go on it 'cause it looked like fun. Hey, but you could order one for yourself, huh, chubs?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

44777

You deserved it

5279

Tweet

Share

By epictothemax - 10/3/2009 20:40 - United States

Today, I went home for my grandma's 95th birthday. While there she noticed my new tongue piercing and asked why I would get it done. Before I could reply, my cousin says "So she can can make the boys happier when she's sucking on them." She's 9 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks

60729

You deserved it

13050

Tweet

Share

By Zoe123 - 19/3/2009 06:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were at his house having sex. After about 30 minutes, his mom came home and was knocking on the door asking "What are you doing?" Thinking I might have a chance to sneak out, I got dressed real quiet. Then my boyfriend answers, "Zoe. I'm doing Zoe." FML

I agree, your life sucks

89975

You deserved it

16595

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 17/1/2015 00:37 - United States - Mantua

Today, I told my dog to give me the stick he had in his mouth so I could throw it for him. After I picked it up I realized it was a dried-out piece of shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24827

You deserved it

13217

Tweet

Share

By secretsant4 - 3/11/2017 14:00

Today, at an 8 a.m. spin class, I knelt on the floor to set up my bike. The bike next to me was too close, and while the girl on it was pedaling to warm up, she pedaled down hard onto my heel, breaking my ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3754

You deserved it

437

Tweet

Share

By middleagednurse - 4/10/2017 23:37

Today, I spent 5 hours in the emergency room for what I thought was heavy bloody diarrhea. After having various implements and doctors' fingers shoved up my ass, it turns out I was only shitting out the family-sized bag of red spicy cheese curls I had eaten for lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1508

You deserved it

3706

Tweet

Share

By cheated - 23/11/2011 17:03 - United States

Today, I came home from a weekend trip with some friends, and walked straight in on my girlfriend cheating on me. She burst into tears and began apologizing. Her exact words were "I'm so sorry! I thought you were coming back tomorrow." FML

I agree, your life sucks

49191

You deserved it

3011

Tweet

Share

By lunab123 - 31/12/2015 20:59 - United States - Potomac

Today, I got a letter from my long time boyfriend asking me to meet him at the place we first met for a "surprise". I can't remember where that even is. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30491

You deserved it

12829

Tweet

Share

By Carnage23 - 22/11/2014 10:16 - Germany - Essen

Today, my coworker and I announced that we are spending our holidays together, because we both have kids. My boss announced he is coming with us. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33016

You deserved it

3979

Tweet

Share

By Anon. - 28/3/2009 08:07 - United States

Today, for my girlfriend's birthday, I got her an external hard drive and my grandmother's engagement ring. When she opened both boxes, I took her hand and looked deep in her eyes and told her to pick whichever she wanted. She took the external hard drive, even though she already has one. FML

I agree, your life sucks

72608

You deserved it

14503

Tweet

Share

By - 22/2/2020 18:00

My dear neighbor

Today, I had a very sweet and romantic love note brutally scratched into the door of my brand new car. It was addressed to Cindy. Cindy lives next door. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2083

You deserved it

108

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 8/7/2011 15:46 - Belgium

Today, I went into hospital for knee surgery. When I awoke, I was surprised to find a bandage wrapped around my throbbing head. The nurse explained that a student observer had fainted in the operating room and his head had smashed against mine on the way down. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44320

You deserved it

2672

Tweet

Share

By Madagascar - 19/12/2009 10:18 - Australia

Today, when my boyfriend and I were becoming intimate, his cat decides to jump onto the bed and lie right in between us. He then informs me that he wanted to stop to "preserve his cat's innocence." FML

I agree, your life sucks

30772

You deserved it

4855

Tweet

Share

By KillahCam - 26/1/2010 00:15 - United States

Today, my ten year-old brother told me that his thirteen year-old friend took one of my bras and two pairs of my underwear a few weeks ago. Apparently he took them out of my room, put them on, and has been sleeping with them ever since. He's coming to give them back tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33866

You deserved it

2567

Tweet

Share

By me - 15/7/2009 08:02 - United States

Today, at 3:00 am, I sat with my 3 year-old adopted daughter while she tried to go back to sleep. She had had a nightmare, and I read that "not leaving" was the most important thing a father could do. My wife woke and called me a pervert for sitting there. FML

I agree, your life sucks

69200

You deserved it

3312

Tweet

Share

By fuckface moron - 20/6/2020 02:17

Face value

Today, it was was my first day back at work as an esthetician. My first client refused to remove her face mask so I could perform the service. She demanded I just do her forehead, and that she’d only pay a third of the price since she’s only getting that part done. I refused and was written up by management. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1389

You deserved it

215

Tweet

Share

By mrs.nerd - 23/10/2011 12:38 - United States

Today, my husband and I were getting intimate when a notification for a game popped up on his iPad. He immediately shoved me aside so he could take care of his baby dragon. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37934

You deserved it

4512

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By davidfong | 14

#7760952 - Tuesday 29 January 2019 14:30

I think this is her way of telling you that you need to buy your own clothes. Your an adult buy your own clothes.

By xicor | 1

#7760949 - Tuesday 29 January 2019 14:25

Why can't you buy your own damn shorts. You're an adult

Comments

By xicor | 1

#7760949 - Tuesday 29 January 2019 14:25

Why can't you buy your own damn shorts. You're an adult

By Wobba1470 | 11

#7760950 - Tuesday 29 January 2019 14:25

Why didn’t you do this?

Reply

Jr Malvitz | 15

#7761139 - Wednesday 30 January 2019 2:01

could be they had the money on them and mom was leaving the retail store and asked her to buy them and he pay her back

By davidfong | 14

#7760952 - Tuesday 29 January 2019 14:30

I think this is her way of telling you that you need to buy your own clothes. Your an adult buy your own clothes.

By mike3775 | 32

#7760964 - Tuesday 29 January 2019 15:30

I don’t by my adult kids clothes, except as gifts for birthday/Christmas, and even then, only when that’s what they tell me they want.
At 20, you should be buying your own clothes. Enjoy the fluffy bubble shorts, you deserve it

By EinVoegelein | 8

#7760971 - Tuesday 29 January 2019 15:54

How is that a FML? Either start buying your own clothes or get over your insecurities about what people think of your shorts.

By whiskey'swino | 15

#7760973 - Tuesday 29 January 2019 16:04

Grow a pair, then go purchase a pair like a grown man.

By RichardPencil | 28

#7760991 - Tuesday 29 January 2019 17:15

Wear the damn shorts!

Mom usually has better fashion sense than you, so look sharp stylin’ your new, hot look!

By IrieStorm | 9

#7761004 - Tuesday 29 January 2019 18:15

You're a 20 year old guy, you can buy your own shorts.

By Sinshine | 27

#7761068 - Tuesday 29 January 2019 21:19

Buy your own clothes and you get the clothes you want.

By Paul ven | 7

#7761138 - Wednesday 30 January 2019 1:56

what a baby