35
By married to a nerd - / Thursday 7 June 2018 20:30 /
Add a comment
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Create my account Sign in
Top comments
By  Ali Alexandrea  |  16

you may have married a nerd, but that nerd married a suspicious creeper. seriously be an adult and just have a conversation if you think somethings up, dont follow your spouse in secret as if you don't trust him.

By  BurnInDemonFire  |  23

I know there will be a lot of support for your husband from FML's nerd community, and someone commenting that OP "didn't want her husband's D20, so he went to get fun elsewhere", or some other nonsense, but I have to ask... Why didn't this guy tell his wife where he was going? What if something happened to her, and there was no one around to look after the kid?

Comments
By  BurnInDemonFire  |  23

I know there will be a lot of support for your husband from FML's nerd community, and someone commenting that OP "didn't want her husband's D20, so he went to get fun elsewhere", or some other nonsense, but I have to ask... Why didn't this guy tell his wife where he was going? What if something happened to her, and there was no one around to look after the kid?

Reply
  routerere  |  10

Considering Op's username is "married to a nerd" it doesn't seem like she holds "nerds" in high esteem. Likely that the husband didn't tell her because he didn't want to be judged for a hobby he enjoys. Not saying he's fault free. You should be open about your hobbies and interests to your partner and not marry someone you can't be yourself in front of.

Also doesn't seem like he was keeping this that much of a secret since the daughter even knows the name of his character.

Reply
  routerere  |  10

Considering Op's username is "married to a nerd" it doesn't seem like she holds "nerds" in high esteem. Likely that the husband didn't tell her because he didn't want to be judged for a hobby he enjoys. Not saying he's fault free. You should be open about your hobbies and interests to your partner and not marry someone you can't be yourself in front of.

Also doesn't seem like he was keeping this that much of a secret since the daughter even knows the name of his character.

Reply
  routerere  |  10

For the second part of your question, it sounds like they were both at home. OP wouldn't be able to follow him if he had already left. OP probably heard her husband leaving and hence the question and subsequent stalking.

Reply

People can be quite judgemental so sometimes they hide stuff from people they're dating...then after a while it gets harder and harder to admit it to them, particularly if they disapprove of it.

Reply

If playing D&D makes OP think any less of her husband, then she should be as ashamed of that as he appears to have been about enjoying the game. However, I think the name reflects frustration at him keeping a secret from her, more than it shows that she disapproves of nerds. At least, I hope that's the case.
Also, the daughter knew the name "Zoe". OP makes no mention of her kid saying or implying that Zoe was only a character in a game, and not another woman. This issue wouldn't exist if OP's daughter had said Zoe was a character.

Reply
  Callyn  |  44

The daughter is 4. She doesn't understand what a character is, is incapable of understanding it. OP and her husband just need to actually talk to each other.

Reply

And what makes you think he didn’t tell her? Maybe he told her he was going out with his friends (you need a group to play D&D) and op forgot. No one tells their SO that they’re going off to cheat.

By  azouwa  |  26

Listen, rule of thumb: If you're going to cheat on your spouse... never tell the children. They repeat everything. Next time save yourself the trouble and ask him. Don't accuse... just ask.

By  Ali Alexandrea  |  16

you may have married a nerd, but that nerd married a suspicious creeper. seriously be an adult and just have a conversation if you think somethings up, dont follow your spouse in secret as if you don't trust him.

Reply

Calling OP a "suspicious creeper" for not being able to sit twiddling her thumbs for an undetermined amount of time, waiting for her husband to come home from "having fun with Zoe", is way off the mark. She acted thinking her family was at risk of falling apart, so she went to stop it. If she had waited, the anger and paranoia would have built up inside her, causing it to be unleashed on him the second he got through the door. He would have been under fire for "cheating", until he admitted what he was really doing, and then she would have to explain why she suddenly didn't trust him. Imagine all of this going on, with their kid in the middle of it, and then tell me which decision you would have made.

Reply

You can lie about where you are, and what you're doing when using a cell phone. Face-to-face confrontation gives you a chance to gauge reactions to your questions from body language. Unless the person being questioned is a sociopath.

Reply

My god you’re a twit. Yes she did act like a creeper. The poor person who is in a relationship with you. Not having friends they could cheat with. That’s called being controlling and paranoid, a very unhealthy relationship. My brother and his girlfriend are in a good relationship, but she and I have fun together. Because we share some interests.

By  Joshwarrior  |  36

Well not much trust to see here folks, you can keep on moving.

Honestly though just ask unless there were other tells, but still you should start with a conversation.

By  DragonMaiden7  |  15

Maybe instead of stalking him, you should have just talked to him about it first. A marriage built on zero trust is going to fail, and the fact that both of you felt the need to sneak around on each other shows neither of you trust the other. He doesn’t trust you to be his true self around you (a DnD nerd) and you don’t trust him (being unfaithful).

I think you should go to marriage consoling to work out this issue, or else it’s just going to get worse from here

Loading data…