By skid kid - 10/03/2012 02:09 - Canada

Today, I angrily tweeted about having fruitlessly searched for over an hour for my car keys. Minutes later, some guy told me to check beneath the "stack of skid-marked underwear" on my bedroom floor. I'm not sure if it was a lucky guess, or if I should start carrying mace. FML
I agree, your life sucks 28 797
You deserved it 6 587

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Or just start washing your undies ^.^

Yeah, I'd probably start carrying around a mace. And a bat. And a gun. .... and a rape whistle.

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Or just start washing your undies ^.^

Or she could buy new undies. I wouldn't blame her. Hell, maybe even a diaper. :)

Better yet, she could just wipe her ass adequately. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

Thongs are a whole different ball game from mens undies though

And can we stop piling our underwear on the floor.

What is it with people not being able to clean their backsides lately? ever heard of the wiping and washing rile op? you should try it....

edit: rule

Get a tide stick and mace/a mace

94- love the profile pic. Lol!

Yeah, I'd probably start carrying around a mace. And a bat. And a gun. .... and a rape whistle.

She said mace as in pepper spray, not a medieval weapon.

doesn't mean #2 wasn't referring to a can of mace as well. 2 said "a mace" which is a strange way of putting it but collectively mace is a singular object in context that someone might carry it.

I agree. OP, next time you go out clubbing, bring a mace.

I'm not too sure someone would want to rape anyone with skidmarks... Or maybe it's just me.

And toilet paper

My jacket has a rape whistle on the zipper. I use it all the time. :)

No one listens to rape whistles/screams. Practice your yell of "FIRE!!!!!!!" and your crotch kick

i think a mace would be more effective than a can of mace

I'm sorry but Twitter is designed to let people stalk you. People on Twitter are desperate to be stalked. How narcissistic do you have to be to think normal people care what you're doing 24/7? I love hearing that my friend lost his keys or is out buying milk at 8:30 in the morning but www-who-gives-a-shit-dot-com you know what I mean? Cue thumbs down from the Twitter army in 3...2...1...

My friend had a rape whistle. Then, when some guy cornered her in the street when she was walking home, the guy took the whistle.

32 --- EXACTLY what i thought seriously do you have something wrong with you or are you a lazy tramp that dont wipe your ass ??? :(

I believe a Asp 16 inch retractable baton is better than any mace/pepper spray.

Mace is pepper spray.... You wouldn't carry around A mace you wou carry around A Bottle of mace

A mace is a weapon. Usually a longish stick with a round metal top sometimes it has spikes as well.

I don't see why people are hating on maces. I carry one around with me, it definitely keeps people away.

13- Technically, mace is in a can. Not a bottle...And it's *would*. Aaand you need to work on your punctuation and your capitalizing issues! It sucks to be corrected, doesn't it?

Actually, maces tend to be flanged. The ones with points are morningstars, which people tend to get mixed up with flails.

Personally I vote for carrying a mace vs a can of mace. The former makes a much better deterrent to crime... Though is likely more troublesome if you have to go through a security check.

Personally I like to carry a war hammer. it does an extremely well job at keeping rapists away

I just have sex with anyone who wants to sex with. It only takes a few minutes and saves me from being raped, beaten, killed or having to beat, rape, or kill.

43 - dont you have a bridge to go be under?

#83 thats the way I see it, though once they pass out I'd like to slit their throat for the thought of raping me in the first place.

Lol, 102 that was very mean. But she was being prettyyyyy bitchy. grammar sux.

Think you going to need more than a mace.. D:

13- Mace is not pepper spray; They are very different chemicals.(and niether are sold in bottles.)

I prefer the double headed axe

why do you have "skid stained underwear" and on your floor? aha! wow! uhmm carry mace and anything else that can protect you its not a coincidence!

I think that the skids were just the design. But I agree; MACE! That is very weird!! Haha FYL!

I can't tell if you two are dumb or trolling. /:

There was more to last night than you remember OP. Quite the party huh?

51, i hate that feeling. but in this case, i think it's legit stupidity

Whenever I lose something my stack of skid-marked underwear is always the first place I look.

The poor, defenseless keys lying there helpless under the poopy underwear. They had to hold their nose all night long. I bet they were scared and cold Oh, when will the insanity of key abuse end. And I hope op sanitized the keys before using them too much. Think some people shook their poopie key hand. Eeeewwwww.

Oh aha we all do (:

Because car keys and dirty underwear totally belong in the same place...

Skid-marked panties belong nowhere.

But the question is: Will it blend?

122, what do you mean?

Obviously they don't. Which is why she didn't think to look there

Why would you keep ur keys in a pile of dirty underwear?

why have a pile of underwear in the middle of the floor?

Gotta love those creepy underwear sniffers. Maybe he hid them under there so he could watch you bend down from a window.