By skid kid - Canada
Today, I angrily tweeted about having fruitlessly searched for over an hour for my car keys. Minutes later, some guy told me to check beneath the "stack of skid-marked underwear" on my bedroom floor. I'm not sure if it was a lucky guess, or if I should start carrying mace. FML
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Top comments
  muzy  |  23

What is it with people not being able to clean their backsides lately? ever heard of the wiping and washing rile op? you should try it....

  LouisianaBob  |  9

doesn't mean #2 wasn't referring to a can of mace as well. 2 said "a mace" which is a strange way of putting it but collectively mace is a singular object in context that someone might carry it.

  msl1333  |  4

I'm sorry but Twitter is designed to let people stalk you. People on Twitter are desperate to be stalked. How narcissistic do you have to be to think normal people care what you're doing 24/7? I love hearing that my friend lost his keys or is out buying milk at 8:30 in the morning but www-who-gives-a-shit-dot-com you know what I mean?

Cue thumbs down from the Twitter army in 3...2...1...

  desireev  |  17

13- Technically, mace is in a can. Not a bottle...And it's *would*. Aaand you need to work on your punctuation and your capitalizing issues!

It sucks to be corrected, doesn't it?


Personally I vote for carrying a mace vs a can of mace. The former makes a much better deterrent to crime... Though is likely more troublesome if you have to go through a security check.

  rubberduckie94  |  13

The poor, defenseless keys lying there helpless under the poopy underwear. They had to hold their nose all night long. I bet they were scared and cold Oh, when will the insanity of key abuse end. And I hope op sanitized the keys before using them too much. Think some people shook their poopie key hand. Eeeewwwww.