Work: Today, I almost got fired from work because a customer complained... - FML

By MaddyN - 08/07/2014 04:26 - United States - Forest Grove

Today, I almost got fired from work because a customer complained that I "threw up gang signs" at him. I was blocking the sun from my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 560

You deserved it 3 467

Another great day to be alive

Compromises

Death wish

By Sad Nerd - 02/04/2014 08:20 - United States - Glendale

Today, I discovered that the laser disc player I used to have was not in fact a laser disc player but a Pioneer Laseractive. Broken ones sell on eBay for $200 and working ones sell for around $1000. I sold a working one for less than $100-worth of credit at a second-hand store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 458

You deserved it 18 332

By SINGLE - 23/01/2010 10:27 - Australia

Today, I planned my own wedding down to the very last detail, including favours for my guests, the sweets buffet and the bouquet of flower brooches I want. Too bad I'm still single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 836

You deserved it 37 695

By FMAhole - 12/02/2019 12:18 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, while at the office, a surprise Valentine's gift arrived for me, the first I've ever received. It was a box of heart-shaped cookies. From my mother. I'm 39. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 666

You deserved it 4 125

By kipper - 22/07/2019 12:00

Today, I took my 8 year-old daughter to an airplane museum to show her the kinds of aircraft I’ve worked on during my 30+ year career. In the first 15 minutes, I had grease on my new shirt, bumped my head, spilled coffee and cut my hand. Sums up my career. Only 10 more years to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 391

You deserved it 206

By Anonymous - 24/03/2016 15:23 - United States - Bellefontaine

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he's convinced wearing boxer briefs instead of panties makes me a lesbian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 460

You deserved it 4 219

By anonymous - 22/08/2011 11:04 - Australia

Today, I was stuck in a room with a man who was catching flies. That I could cope with, until he insisted on turning the lights out because it was 'stressing out' his flies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 534

You deserved it 2 381

By heartbroken - 08/02/2011 17:21 - United States

Today, after a huge heartbreak and a night of crying, I wake up to an empty house. I go in the kitchen to make breakfast and see a note on the counter saying "We heard you crying last night and didn't want to hear you complaining this morning, so we went to the mall. -Mom" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 440

You deserved it 8 339

By booste - 18/10/2009 04:06 - Canada

Today, I was written up because my manager heard me insulting a customer. How did I insult her? I called her grandma. Who did I say this to? My grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 671

You deserved it 2 253

By prayforme - 11/11/2009 01:52 - United States

Spicy

Today, I woke up next to the girl I had drunk intercourse with last night. Before we got it on, I noticed a package of birth control pills on her nightstand. Because of this, I felt no need to use a condom, or pull out. When I woke up, I noticed those "pills" were actually a makeup case. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 033

You deserved it 62 904

By helloimkylieee - 25/01/2016 01:04 - United States - Tracy

Today, I had to convince my parents to shut the door when they have sex. They have done this on multiple occasions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 642

You deserved it 1 540

By XxHinkaixX - 01/08/2010 02:28 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking through an old photo album of mine. I turned to a page with a picture of me on my last day of college. I thought the picture was quite nice. He turned to me and said, "Don't worry, I take bad pictures too." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 434

You deserved it 3 471

By CmS_1733 - 11/02/2016 18:59 - United States - Pottsville

Spicy

Today, after long day at work, I stopped by my parents' house to say hi. After 30 minutes into the visit, my dad turns to me and asks, "Did you really have to stop by while I was balls deep?" Apparently I interrupted my parents' sex time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 075

You deserved it 3 012

Check this out

By Anonymous - 03/06/2020 17:00

Today, I ran downstairs to meet the Amazon driver and threw on a shirt in a rush. Only after he left did I realise it was my shirt with artful rips in the design and I'd forgot to put on a vest under it. I'd flashed the driver my entire right boob with nipple piercing through one of the holes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 723

You deserved it 1 735

By Proposal Fail - 01/01/2015 05:47 - United States - Holbrook

Today, my proposal to my girlfriend was supposed to be exactly when the ball dropped at midnight. Unfortunately my mother called her at 11:55pm to ask her if she liked the ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 545

You deserved it 3 733

By akosirm - 25/09/2012 02:28 - Philippines

Today, I was going to a big concert at my university. I paid around a hundred twenty bucks for my ticket. Outside the venue, people were handing out the tickets. For free. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 268

You deserved it 13 428

By Rin - 15/01/2010 08:02 - United States

Today, I found some pictures of the boy I have a crush on online. Not only is he a crossdresser, but he's also a better looking woman than I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 444

You deserved it 6 159

Reefer madness

By Anonymous - 15/11/2021 12:59 - United Kingdom

Today, I told the coworker who sits next to me that I don't smoke weed anymore, after she brought a spliff to work. I then got called into the directors' boardroom to receive a warning for smelling like marijuana at work. I was only allowed one more warning before they were due to fire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 879

You deserved it 131

By dog_day - 19/12/2009 06:20 - United States

Today, I was asked by my mom if I could have a joint birthday party with her dog, because it would be the dog's "Big 1-0." She was completely serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 331

You deserved it 2 687

By catt - 17/10/2014 20:12 - Germany - Berlin

Today, my boyfriend tried to rid me of my hiccups. As he'd screamed at me and I'd pissed my pants, I just burst into tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 484

You deserved it 4 043

By Anonymous - 27/04/2011 17:34 - United States

Today, my landlord informed me that after 8 months, we are finally getting cable and internet in our house. I move out tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 749

You deserved it 3 788

By annoying - 10/01/2012 01:30 - United States

Today, I bought a key finder that responds to loud, high-pitched, annoying tones. It beeps every time I talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 153

You deserved it 22 519

By Cat lover - 23/12/2017 01:30

Today, after 25 years living with my dad, who is highly allergic to cats, I was finally able to adopt two kittens to live in my new place, just like I have always wanted. Guess who else is highly allergic to cats? Me, it seems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 446

You deserved it 964

By Beardedlady - 27/09/2018 23:00 - United States - Madison

Today, my mom told me that I need to shave my beard because it's getting too long. This wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the fact that I'm a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 568

You deserved it 387

By Anonymous - 04/10/2011 04:48 - United States

Today, at work I got an urgent message from my boyfriend that there was an emergency and I should come home immediately. I took my last personal day of the month and drove the half-hour home. The emergency? The cat had vomited on the comforter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 392

You deserved it 3 565

By lunarboy - 17/02/2009 00:24 - United States

Spicy

Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 687

You deserved it 68 738

By IceMage - 18/01/2010 00:57 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to sneak into the shower at her house while her parents went out to eat and a movie. Half way through our shower we heard a knocking at the door, it was her mom. We had left all of our clothes downstairs. Safe to say I won't be allowed there any more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 607

You deserved it 39 262

First of all… why?

By Brown Sandman - 25/12/2021 16:59

Today, I learned that there is no way to talk your way out of getting caught drunkenly wiping your ass on your best friend’s sister’s pillow, even if you yell, “SURPRISE!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 158

You deserved it 1 655

By unlucky - 11/12/2014 13:26 - Hong Kong - Central District

Today, I thought it'd be fun to kick open one of those unisex bathrooms in my workplace. I'm not sure who was more surprised, me or my boss who was in there taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 311

You deserved it 39 569

So no one told you life was gonna be this way

By MandiJo - 19/02/2021 11:01

Today, my fiancé/son’s father’s death anniversary is in a few days. I asked my closest friends if they’d hang with me so I could try and keep my mind off it, and so I wouldn’t be alone (my son will be with fiancé’s parents). They couldn’t be bothered and want to go away for the weekend instead. Without me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 139

You deserved it 124

Whoomp whoomp

By Anonymous - 01/04/2009 04:17 - United States

Today, I stopped by the gas station. As I was filling up I noticed a cute guy at the pump next to me. When I was done, I gave him a wink before opening my car door. It was locked. I had to call my Dad to bring my spare keys. The guy was laughing the whole time as I waited for my Dad to show up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 675

You deserved it 54 385

By just hangin - 17/01/2017 12:00

Today, as I was pulling wire for an addition to my boss's house, I was on a ladder drilling a hole when my coworker kicked the ladder out from under me and left me hanging from a rafter twenty feet in the air. To make matters worse, I had to pee. I'm now in my car with dead arms and wet pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 858

You deserved it 504

Explain yourself

By Embarassed - 13/08/2021 18:01

Today, I received pictures on my phone of my husband leaving a hotel with a young lady. Upon confronting him about it, he told me it was his “twin brother.” When I brought up that he was an only child, he said, "Stop believing shit people tell you unless it’s coming from me" and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 146

You deserved it 89

By RoommateWanted - 10/09/2013 21:02 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, my roommate unexpectedly came home with a new puppy. I'm severely allergic to dogs. When I reminded her of this, she explained that the puppy was her family now and if I didn't like it I should move out because blood is thicker than water. My roommate is my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 862

You deserved it 3 350

By Anonymous - 03/06/2009 01:33 - Australia

Today, my bank card was skimmed (copied electronically) and my account was totally cleaned out. I had only just got paid and don't get paid again for 4 weeks. The bank says it will take 21 days minimum to resolve. They offered me a credit card with a huge interest rate to help me get by. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 272

You deserved it 2 684

By pwndbykidz - 09/08/2009 23:54 - Canada

Today, I found out the hot girl I'd been flirting with on Facebook is actually 3 10-year-olds who created a fake profile to see how many desperate losers would try to hook up with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 745

You deserved it 68 179

By Dogmom - 18/12/2018 17:30

Today, I couldn’t tell that my puppy had an upset stomach before I left for work. I came home to her covered in shit inside her crate. After cleaning her up and almost being done with the mess, my husband found where she had tried to lick herself clean and then vomited it up in our bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 203

You deserved it 258

By claira - 08/10/2018 13:30

Today, my mom made me take a pregnancy test since I missed my last 4 periods. It came back positive and my mom grounded me. I’ve never had sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 714

You deserved it 363

By NoUsernamHere - 03/06/2015 13:25 - United States

Today, I was working on a project in my schools library when a group of teenagers came in and began loudly talking and laughing. When I asked them to please quiet down, the librarian asked me to leave for being too loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 801

You deserved it 2 444

Fight yoga, try stress

By Dawn - 12/08/2021 08:01

Today, I went to a yoga class, thinking it would be good for my stiff calf from running. I pulled my back out doing the downward dog. Now can't get out of bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 726

You deserved it 123

By lostmystuff - 07/07/2013 06:35 - United States - Livermore

Today, I was moving to my new apartment. I left some furniture outside as I drove to dump the first load at my new place. When I got back, everything was gone. Apparently, today is the day the donation truck was coming around to take everything we don't need. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 626

You deserved it 25 090

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

CrikOgresmasher 19

Send a private message

Tuesday 8 July 2014 11:36

I once was accused of being a Nazi for the same reason

PiinkVanilla 15

Send a private message

Tuesday 8 July 2014 11:35

Next time, block the sun with your middle finger. That'll really impress! :D

Comments

Send a private message

Tuesday 8 July 2014 11:34

Damn sun! That ain't worth gettin fired up about!

reneetlovesyou 30

Send a private message

Tuesday 8 July 2014 12:52

Clearly, this person is blinded by their prejudice. I'm glad things worked out for OP before the situation for heated.

jerryj 27

Send a private message

Tuesday 8 July 2014 18:19

Perhaps the customer should have warmed up to the thought that OP simply had no burning negative feelings toward him.

incoherentrmblr 21

Send a private message

Tuesday 8 July 2014 19:28

It's just one of those days...

Send a private message

Wednesday 9 July 2014 4:34

Too bad the customer is always right..

PiinkVanilla 15

Send a private message

Tuesday 8 July 2014 11:35

Next time, block the sun with your middle finger. That'll really impress! :D

martialart1st18 19

Send a private message

Tuesday 8 July 2014 11:52

Send a private message

Tuesday 8 July 2014 12:51

When you flip upon a star...

Send a private message

Tuesday 8 July 2014 15:24

Caught on to what 21 was saying right after I thumbed down.

CrikOgresmasher 19

Send a private message

Tuesday 8 July 2014 11:36

I once was accused of being a Nazi for the same reason

jigglypuff34 16

Send a private message

Tuesday 8 July 2014 14:30

It probably didn't help yelling "Heil Hitler."

Send a private message

Tuesday 8 July 2014 16:45

Misunderstandings. He saw an accident about to happen and screamed "he'll hit her!"

Send a private message

Tuesday 8 July 2014 20:30

you probably did nazi that coming

Send a private message

Tuesday 8 July 2014 11:39

Some people are just...stupid.

CallMeWindSock 24

Send a private message

Tuesday 8 July 2014 11:40

How stupid can a person be?

Send a private message

Tuesday 8 July 2014 20:32

Have you ever been to Earth? It's like a rule of life, if stupidity can be applied, then it will eventually be applied to such an extreme it will hurt your mind.

strawberrywine22 27

Send a private message

Tuesday 8 July 2014 11:42

Some people are just...stupid. I mean, how stupid can a person be?

noisyboy4000 23

Send a private message

Tuesday 8 July 2014 11:48

No don't ask that! Some people mind take that as a challenge -.-

illegalbeagle69 23

Send a private message

Tuesday 8 July 2014 14:38

Challenge Accepted

Send a private message

Tuesday 8 July 2014 14:47

I'm unaccepting the challenge on 34's behalf. It's too early in the morning for anyone to properly deal with stupidity.

Send a private message

Tuesday 8 July 2014 15:45

I suggest everybody in the challenge play GTA for a couple minutes before starting.

Send a private message

Tuesday 8 July 2014 11:44

Nah son he was talking about the new sun gang hitting the streets that's why you were almost fired.

strawberrywine22 27

Send a private message

Tuesday 8 July 2014 11:45

The fuck?

Send a private message

Tuesday 8 July 2014 11:47

That's messed up. I remember a while back about cops roughing up or shooting a deaf fella cause they thought he was using gang signs.

Send a private message

Tuesday 8 July 2014 14:28

They couldn't recognize Sign Language?

Send a private message

Tuesday 8 July 2014 11:50

I suggest carrying sunglasses on you for now on! Lol

LifeAlertTwerk 14

Send a private message

Tuesday 8 July 2014 14:44

OP may not be allowed to carry sunglasses if his work's dress code prohibits it.

Send a private message

Tuesday 8 July 2014 15:01

With sunglasses on, OP can start making one liners to... make light of the situation.

martialart1st18 19

Send a private message

Tuesday 8 July 2014 11:51

Just because they're so ghetto that they expect everything to be gang related doesn't mean you should be fired

sammyjanette 17

Send a private message

Tuesday 8 July 2014 12:55

This comment is completely ignorant. Someone from an impoverished area with a lot of gang activity, or as you like to call it the "ghetto" would know better than to think that shading your eyes from the sun is a gang sign. The customer in this FML sounds like the type to label any and everything as gang-related or ghetto......

martialart1st18 19

Send a private message

Tuesday 8 July 2014 22:45

Are you fucking stupid? That's exactly what happened. They mistook OP shading her eyes as a gang sign. And as you said in your last sentence, the customer in this FML sounds like the type to consider all things gang related, which is what I said in my comment you dumb fuck.

sammyjanette 17

Send a private message

Wednesday 9 July 2014 2:43

The only stupid person here is you, you idiotic waste of skin.

martialart1st18 19

Send a private message

Wednesday 9 July 2014 9:07

Haha damn bro I'm a waste of skin because of a comment I made on a website? You take this stuff way too serious lol. And to the other I guy, I get what you were saying,". You we're saying that anyone from the ghetto would know if it was a gang sign or not right?

Nearly

Today I ripped my lovely £50 coat on barbed wire, what I only worn a hand full of times, ended up having to spend £10 to get it repaired, have to wait till Friday to pick it up, it’s only Tuesday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11

You deserved it 14

Today, a tech came to repair my cracked phone screen. He told me to remove my case and took it to his van in my driveway to fix it. Thirty minutes later, he rings my doorbell and hands me my phone back. He says he fixed the screen but tripped and dropped it walking back to my house, and completely shattered the back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 4

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I spent all day waiting for an unlikely follow up text from the girl from Tinder I let peg me on the first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 1 062

Today, I swear I'm off men for good after my latest dud date wanted me to pee on his chest to turn him on, and we were only 20 minutes into the first date. The entire male gender are disgusting pigs, no matter how nice they pretend to be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 839

You deserved it 1 207