Miscellaneous: Today, I almost crashed my car because I was checking out an... - FML

By Creepster - 13/01/2010 06:31 - United States

Today, I almost crashed my car because I was checking out an Old Navy mannequin wearing a bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 574

You deserved it 50 826

Mother of the year

Good kid

They're all eggheads to me

BIKES!

By Anonymous - 22/06/2021 08:01

Today, I’m doing the 5 km bike ride to the grocery store. As always, I'm well equipped: Shopping bags, shopping list, pen, sunglasses, hat, sunscreen, raincoat, tampons, tissues, lip balm, water bottle… Anything I forgot? Aaah, yes. Money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 826

You deserved it 237

By killerxdeagles - 23/12/2014 02:22 - United States - Wichita

Today, I was t-boned and my truck was rendered useless. I was given a ticket even though the man who hit me ran a red light. Why? Because there was dirt on my license plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 463

You deserved it 3 080

By Nicoli - 10/11/2011 18:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of five years was in a bad car crash, and ended up with a concussion. He didn't remember me. At all. But he remembered his other girlfriend he had cheated on me with for two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 828

You deserved it 3 966

By I said whaat - 18/12/2012 16:50

Today, I was in the mall for the second day in a row with my 7-year-old brother. As we walked past Santa he asked me, "Why does Santa look different today"? Not thinking, I said, "Because each mall has a different Santa." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 143

You deserved it 36 763

By thatsasquee - 21/05/2011 06:42 - Canada

Today, I called my mom and I got voicemail: "Hello, this is Joyce. I'm not here at the moment, so leave a message and I will call back as soon as possible. Except if it's Sophie. If it is, get the hell out of my life, biiitch." I'm Sophie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 266

You deserved it 5 759

By Spudzy - 11/04/2012 16:46 - Australia - Gold Coast

Today, I tried hitting on the new receptionist at work. After a few flirtatious comments and subtly hinting that I thought she was bangable, she informed me that she's married to our boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 409

You deserved it 44 767

Advice time

By Anonymous - 15/02/2010 10:02 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my grandmother gave me a sex talk on how I should take "precautions", right in the middle of a packed bus station. I'm 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 018

You deserved it 2 254

By Anonymous - 21/08/2009 04:52 - United States

Today, everyone in my department got a raise except for me. Last week, I had been the one who asked for a raise for me and my fellow department members. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 623

You deserved it 3 391

By easily amused - 12/10/2013 05:40 - United States

Today, I discovered my 10 month old is terrified of my laugh. Every time I start to laugh, she screams in terror. It's getting depressing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 951

You deserved it 4 448

By 242795 - 24/09/2016 06:12 - United States - Buies Creek

Today, after finally deciding to push past my extreme shyness, I talked to the person beside me in class. I was so nervous that when I went to take a sip of my coffee, it slipped out of my hand and splashed all over both of us. Not only did I ruin her white dress, but I also gave her mild burns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 197

You deserved it 1 397

By Meggie - 05/11/2009 05:06 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my dad and his new "girlfriend". A couple days ago I realized that my sexy clothes that my boyfriend had bought me for our anniversary was missing. Guess who was wearing it? FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 048

You deserved it 2 172

By hurts - 04/05/2009 18:48 - Canada

Today, I was helping my friend wash dishes. As I went to grab some tongs to dry them I impale my forearm on a knife that's sticking blade up. My friend wanted to finish the dishes before taking me to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 575

You deserved it 4 974

By StUbbY - 09/07/2009 14:01 - Canada

Today, I was waiting in line for breakfast at the McDonalds drive-thru. After getting so fed up that the line hadn't budged for 10 mins, I decided to pull out of the line just to realize I was waiting behind 2 parked cars that were just to the left of the drive-thru lane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 793

You deserved it 59 097

Busted

By Anonymous - 01/09/2013 05:06 - United States - El Paso

Spicy

Today, I, for some reason, was talking to my mom about money. I jokingly said that the reason we're short on cash is because of her internet porn addiction. She replied, with a straight face, "How did you know?" I'm still not sure if she's joking or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 560

You deserved it 5 747

By Anonymous - 02/07/2013 16:25 - United States - Burlington

Today, I was at another long swim-meet, when my daughter shaved 15 seconds off her record swim time. When I asked her how she did it, she replied, "Well someone told me to swim as fast as I can." She's just been taking her time all these years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 402

You deserved it 5 592

Vandals!

By volvo_owner - 10/02/2021 02:01 - Germany - Harsefeld

Today, I wanted to go shopping in my new car that I bought just a month ago. When I stepped outside, I saw someone had smashed the driver side's window. They didn't even steal anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 46

By Starchaser - 16/04/2017 19:23

Today, I helped my children dye Easter eggs. They did great. My husband, however, is covered in dye spots and glitter from "helping." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 305

You deserved it 608

By Leijabug - 21/04/2019 18:00

Today, my best friend and I decided to dye our hair blue. We didn’t mean to also dye the ceiling, walls, shower, or floor. We DEFINITELY didn’t mean to dye our faces the day before school pictures that cannot be rescheduled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 870

You deserved it 2 986

Butterface

By khfhjfsb - 05/02/2014 00:41 - United States - Downers Grove

Spicy

Today, the guy I was sexting asked me to stop including my face in the pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 919

You deserved it 22 492

By Clumsy Clumsy - 16/04/2016 16:27 - Canada - Spruce Grove

Today, I ran up to my boyfriend to kiss him when he got home from work. I tripped and I fell on him, and he fell backwards. He ended up hitting his head on the sidewalk and had to get stitches. He also had a concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 429

You deserved it 3 216

By anonymous - 18/06/2010 17:25 - United States

Today, I was on an airplane and had to go to the bathroom. The guy next to me was asleep and blocking the aisle. I tapped him on the shoulder, and he responded by punching me in the stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 234

You deserved it 3 760

By Marty - 10/10/2017 13:00 - United States - Irving

Today, I bought a small bottle of liquor to share with my husband to celebrate our move. It took 3 hours at the store as the cashier, manager, GM, and a police officer checked my ID believing it was fake. I'm 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 106

You deserved it 283

By Tiredoftrying - 11/02/2019 10:00 - Australia

Today, I received my fourth rejection email from McDonald's after applying for one position with them a few weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 021

You deserved it 303

By catlady - 09/01/2012 16:56 - United Kingdom

Today, it's my anniversary. I've been a single cat-lady for exactly one year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 725

You deserved it 8 488

By gedderdunn - 24/05/2010 06:13 - Reserved

Today, I went on a first date, where my date managed to fall in a creek, take me to his house and measure my height, show me family pictures, and perform the Soulja Boy dance in his living room. All while wearing swim trunks because his pants were drying and he didn't have extras. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 076

You deserved it 7 742

By okaythen6 - 09/12/2009 11:13 - United States

Today, I showed up on set for a film that I booked a role in weeks ago. At the time of the audition, the script was being rewritten, so today I was so excited and eager to be told what my role would entail. When they handed me the script, my character was described as a fat, ugly, awkward girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 135

You deserved it 5 039

By collegegirl90 - 09/03/2009 20:52 - United States

Today, my best friend resolved things with her boyfriend after he had admitted to cheating on her. I felt really guilty because I drunkenly hooked up with her boyfriend last month. She said, "I felt better when he told me that the girl was extremely ugly and bad in bed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 868

You deserved it 111 336

By linn - 27/09/2012 20:14 - United States

Spicy

Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I came back, I overheard my dad telling my mom that I'm so unpopular, the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 997

You deserved it 3 166

By parkinglotslayer - 11/06/2009 02:28 - United States

Today, my family and I were parking downtown when my sister yelled to watch out for a man approaching our car. I see him pull something from his pocket. I yell "It's a knife, don't roll down the window!" It was a pen, he was the parking attendant and the window was already rolled down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 991

You deserved it 47 648

By Fml24609 - 09/08/2010 08:29 - United States

Today, I misspelled the word "failure" in front of all my co-workers. Now I'm not given any writing tasks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 787

You deserved it 32 554

Had any calls lately?

By Anonymous - 17/10/2019 06:00

Today, I noticed that all 200 remaining business cards out of the 500 that I had made have the wrong phone number on them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 779

You deserved it 1 302

By allbrokeup - 01/12/2012 23:54 - Norway - Stavanger

Today, while I was removing my makeup with my boyfriend watching, he mentioned that he used to think girls were prettier without makeup on, but he'd now changed his mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 376

You deserved it 3 301

By Dump Tump - 29/03/2019 22:00

Today, my flute broke. I have an exam coming tomorrow and all repair shops are closed. I guess I’ll have to lose £150. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 716

You deserved it 159

By Anonymous - 19/06/2018 20:30

Today, my excruciating ear pain turned out to be a bastard maggot eating away at all the vital things behind my eardrum. The doctor pulled it out, but I’m now permanently deaf in that ear and can’t balance. I fall if I try to stand or walk further than 5 feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 814

You deserved it 274

By in debt - 01/11/2018 13:30

Today, a tree fell on our 3-month-old family car. Today, I also learned that my husband never insured it. It's probably scrap, and we still have to pay it off for the next 5 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 962

You deserved it 546

By notaman - 11/02/2016 18:12 - United States - Marion

Today, I found out my insurance company denied my claim because they had me marked down as "male" and yet also pregnant. I now have to prove to them that I'm actually a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 413

You deserved it 1 368

By Anonymous - 22/03/2009 03:38 - United States

Today, my parents and I were looking through old photos. My dad comments, "Wow you were chubby back then. But that's ok, it was baby fat." Then he turns to me and asks, "What's your excuse now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 456

You deserved it 11 341

By Alex - 26/06/2014 21:13 - United States - Honolulu

Today, I was at my mom's funeral. My sisters and I were sitting in the front row. The funeral director, whom we had met with twice before, was going around greeting everyone. When she got to us, she asked where our mom was. Seriously? FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 790

You deserved it 3 400

Kinda sweet

By cakegirl - 26/05/2009 01:15 - United States

Today, my boyfriend invited me over, so I went, not thinking anything of it. To my surprise, he broke up with me. I was pretty upset, and as I was leaving his mom handed me a box. When I got home, I opened it. His mom had baked me a break-up cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 371

You deserved it 3 798

Rude!

By leahtortilla - 21/11/2021 11:01

Today, I was at Universal Studios. Beetlejuice said to me, "Glad to see they're letting the Weasleys out of Harry Potter Land!" I'm a redhead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 692

You deserved it 267

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Top comments

perdix 29

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Wednesday 13 January 2010 15:14

Let me save you the trouble -- they've got ugly nipples. And they are not as perky and clever as the ones in the commercial. It kinda ruins the mood when you're popping off her bra and she's going on and on about "The Gap sucks this" and "The Gap sucks that." You know -- sour grapes. And it's almost impossible to get it on when kids are walking by and saying, "Mommy, why does the man fixing the mannequin have no pants?" I thought the Old Navy mannequins were hot, but that was a big disappointment.

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Wednesday 13 January 2010 12:49

The real FML is that you were looking in the general direction of an Old Navy. (Sorry, I just really hate Old Navy)

Comments

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Wednesday 13 January 2010 12:05

You allow people just hitting puberty to drive these days? Or is OP really a woman trying to make a "ooh those silly men tehe"-FML for fun? 'Cause no man actually likes breast and bras that much, especially not on a mannequin. You've learned that from TV. In reality men are much more graphic than that but I won't go there since kids are reading this :D

justdancebbyx3 7

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Wednesday 13 January 2010 21:57

I bet you don't have a GF. And I bet it wasn't even a bra the mannequin was wearing. I bet it was a bikini >.> In Florida (where I live) our Old Navy mannequins don't model in only bras.

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Thursday 14 January 2010 6:58

it was a bra. a sports bra. i work at old navy and right now we're having an active wear sale, which includes old navy sports bras, some of which are modeled by the super model-quins =D

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Wednesday 20 January 2010 7:42

You deserve it, those mannequins are creepy. I work at Old Navy, and those things freak me out.

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Wednesday 27 January 2010 4:49

agreed. fake boobies are in no way shape or form worth checking out. ever. especially whilst operating a motor vehicle

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Sunday 28 February 2010 5:11

key word: almost. who cares

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Friday 2 July 2010 21:34

Ever heard of the 80's film 'Mannequin'?

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Saturday 14 August 2010 7:25

can u say desperate,

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Monday 8 August 2011 8:21

Loved that movie

Rocyer 0

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Wednesday 13 January 2010 12:06

I'm totally missing the point of the website here. I should get a damn clue and stuff.

ultravioletfoil 0

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Wednesday 13 January 2010 13:20

That's not the FML. The FML is that he gets so little action he actually gets turned on by an Old Navy mannequin.

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Wednesday 13 January 2010 12:12

First!

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Wednesday 13 January 2010 12:39

haha .... time you learned counting .... lolz ... FYL

saranottelling 7

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Wednesday 13 January 2010 23:02

No, third. Way To Suck! :)

Foxracingluver 0

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Wednesday 13 January 2010 12:15

Still if u have to check out a manequin then get a life:)

Link5794 18

Thursday 13 December 2012 17:35

Or a computer.

lucifer69_fml 0

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Wednesday 13 January 2010 12:33

hahaha number 3 darling, your a fuckwit get a job

24788 6

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Wednesday 13 January 2010 12:46

Shiiiiit.

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Wednesday 13 January 2010 12:49

The real FML is that you were looking in the general direction of an Old Navy. (Sorry, I just really hate Old Navy)

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Wednesday 13 January 2010 12:50

might understand if its a chick with massive tits and cleavage.. but a mannequin? pft.

waterynuggets 0

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Wednesday 13 January 2010 12:58

This was funnier on Seinfeld, also with a real girl.

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Wednesday 13 January 2010 13:16

that's just sad.

Nearly

Today, I spent my 25th birthday crying alone in my room with my baby, because no else seemed to care it was my birthday. My partner and I had a fight the night before and we haven’t spoken or seen each other since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22

You deserved it 6

Today, I live in Turkey and the dollar has risen to 13 lira. Just turks understand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34

You deserved it 8

Spicy

Spicy

Today, my wife announced she wants to incorporate a saddle into our lovemaking. This might be fine, except she wants me to wear an actual 30-pound saddle, and I have bad knees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 64

Today, my daughter finally learned that you can’t sleep your way to success, after she tried and failed to seduce her married boss, was sacked, and blacklisted as a potential lawsuit throughout every company specialising in her chosen career field. FML

I agree, your life sucks 755

You deserved it 228