Today, I accidentally sent a screenshot of my Tinder conversation...

By Oopsie

Today, I accidentally sent a screenshot of my Tinder conversation to my mom, instead of my friend. Yes, it was dirty. FML

I agree, your life sucks

877

You deserved it

2095

Favorite

Mystery

Man spitting truth bombs over here

Mystery message service

By Anonymous - United States - Anchorage

Today, after putting in so much effort to forgive my husband for his affair, we had sex. Not even 2 minutes into it, he called me by the other woman's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54275

You deserved it

12303

Favorite

By fail - United States

Today, at the library, somebody left themselves logged in to Facebook on a public computer after they had left. Trying to teach them a lesson, I updated their Facebook status to something outrageous. That's when they came back to the computer after getting something from the printer. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7557

You deserved it

67805

Favorite

By Trainer Calypso - United States - Schofield

Today, I went to celebrate Thanksgiving with my family. I watched as my uncle and his girlfriend snuck off to the bathroom together, where they stayed until someone else tried to get in. When they came out, she was wiping her mouth. I need new eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42905

You deserved it

4064

Favorite

By Aryah - United States - Irving

Today, I found out why the temps were not invited to the company Christmas party. The company paid for the regular employees to go to a nice restaurant, gave them nice presents, and handed out substantial bonuses. They keep telling me they can't hire me on because the company can't afford it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7231

You deserved it

788

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Elmwood Park

Today, I was at a diner with friends when we decided to put our phones in the middle of the table on the basis that whoever looks at theirs first has to pay. It was going well, until someone rushed up behind me, slammed my face into the table and ran out with our 4 phones. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44773

You deserved it

5823

Favorite

By Trimacle - United States

Today, I went to the House of Horrors at Universal Studios. People dressed up as monsters would jump at us, and I was so freaked out that I tripped. My equally terrified mom fell on top of me. Frankenstein's monster was nice enough to ask us if we were alright. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22495

You deserved it

15784

Favorite

By Gribby - United States - Branson

Today, I was accused of shooting drugs at work. I was only feeding a baby bird that was tucked into my arm using a medicine syringe. I've been smuggling it to work because it has to eat every 2 hours or it will starve. Now everyone there thinks I'm a hardcore dope fiend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49490

You deserved it

8753

Favorite

By Anonymous - 14/5/2021 14:31 - India - Delhi

Bladdered

Today, while playing cards, with my dad, mom and sister, I excused myself to go to the bathroom several times just to secretly chat with my crush. I laughed so hard at a joke that I wet my pants. My family thinks I need to see a doctor because I was going to the bathroom so often between card games. FML

I agree, your life sucks

145

You deserved it

898

Favorite

By wellthisisawkward80 - United States

Today, I was attending my bachelor party. I watched a very attractive young girl dancing on a pole, giving me a seductive look. As she walked up to me, I realized it was my soon-to-be wife's younger sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34532

You deserved it

17908

Favorite

By mia - United States - Wakefield

Today, I told my mom that I think I'm lactose intolerant, and that I should go to the doctor to get checked out. She said that I was probably just gassy, and then ordered us a pizza for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8480

You deserved it

901

Favorite

By wmkaz - Canada - Sault Sainte Marie

Today, I am six months pregnant and have been lactating. When I noticed this and pointed it out to my husband, I jokingly stated that I felt like a cow. He then replied. "Oh, you're not a cow. At most you're just a fat pig." He still has no clue why I'm upset. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30058

You deserved it

5005

Favorite

By MDWilde - United States - North Pole

Today, my husband and I found out that our daughter's chronic stomach aches are due to gluten intolerance, so we need to cut all wheat out of our diet. We're bakers. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37281

You deserved it

3071

Favorite

By tired of my job - Canada - Surrey

Today, I was at work, stocking shelves. A customer got mad because I was in the way of her "shopping time" and knocked down all the work I had done. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23989

You deserved it

1363

Favorite

By Anonymous - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I went to the funeral of my friend's brother. It was the first funeral I'd gone to, and I was really nervous. When the service finished, everyone went to pay their respects to the family. After I paid mine, they said, "Thank you for coming." I instictively replied, "My pleasure." FML

I agree, your life sucks

42459

You deserved it

18406

Favorite

By Anonymous - 14/9/2020 08:01

Sliced and diced

Today, our sons, who we thought were asleep, came barging into our room in the middle of the first blowjob my wife has given me in weeks. She was so shocked, she bit down and pulled away at the same time, tearing the big vein on the top of my cock. I had to go to hospital for blood loss and stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1994

You deserved it

190

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was having computer problems, so I let my friend have remote access to fix them. We were video-chatting on Skype at the time, and so he thought it'd be hilarious to load hardcore porn in my browser the moment he saw my mom enter the room from behind me. I'm now grounded. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26379

You deserved it

3383

Favorite

By TGIkaty - United States

Today, I told my mom I loved her and she asked if I was going to kill myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43599

You deserved it

3466

Favorite

By schooyou101 - United States - Prairie Village

Today, my crush finally agreed to spend the night with me. I told my parents to act normal for one night. Apparently, "normal" is strutting around naked and acting like a chicken. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31028

You deserved it

6113

Favorite

By foreveralone - United States

Today, it was the second anniversary of the day I met my girlfriend. I had to go to work, but I set an engagement ring and a letter on my pillow for when she woke up, and left breakfast for her on the counter. When I got home, she and all of her things were gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

63844

You deserved it

9458

Favorite

By JealousBratMuch - Canada - High River

Today, my eldest daughter has 'officially' removed herself from our family and will no longer communicate with any of us. Apparently it's my fault that her younger sister is having a baby before her, and she can't be part of a family that 'treats her so unfairly'. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48171

You deserved it

4108

Favorite

By Snuffles

Today, while eating a BLT sandwich, I unexpectedly sneezed a lump of bacon up the back of my nose. It has just taken 6 hours of unpleasantness to snort the lump back out. Not how I wanted to spend my day off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1855

You deserved it

212

Favorite

By morethanablondemoment - United States - Redding

Today, after working 8 hours and immediately packing my house for another 6 hours to prepare for moving, I was extremely exhausted and more than ready to brush my teeth and go to bed. I tiredly brushed my teeth with my mascara. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24297

You deserved it

4317

Favorite

By thoughthewasjoking - United States - Bessemer

Today, while walking to work, I saw a homeless guy with a funny "NEED MONEY 4 BOOZE" sign, so I gave him a few spare dollars for his humor. On my way back home, he was out cold on the sidewalk with several empty bottles beside him. Whoops. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21126

You deserved it

39965

Favorite

By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I had to console my drunk dad over his girlfriend breaking up with him. When he said, "You know why we broke up don't you?" I replied, "Yeah, you were fighting a lot, right?" Wrong. I then had to explain to him that his erectile dysfunction wasn't something to be embarrassed about. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37969

You deserved it

3465

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I got a mass text message from a friend saying she's sorry she can't meet up with our group of friends for drinks because she's busy tonight. This is the first I've heard of any bar-crawling. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27312

You deserved it

2582

Favorite

By hoolabaloo - India - Ahmadabad

Today, I finally got the courage to confess my feelings to the guy I have loved for a year now in a long note. He called half an hour later and said, "I'm not going to read this crap, just tell me what it says". FML

I agree, your life sucks

36624

You deserved it

8042

Favorite

By properpissed - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was talking to one of my British friends online, and he told me to say "yew anchors" a few times really fast. I'm a fairly stupid person, and wasn't very focused, so I did as he said. When I finally figured what the words meant, my dad had heard and grounded me for cursing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35370

You deserved it

10122

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, we had bingo. Three rounds into it a group behind me started to yell, "BINGO, BINGO!". I looked around and saw no one was coming to verify that they had a bingo, so I turned around and said "Stand up." The girl was a midget, she was standing up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39215

You deserved it

14399

Favorite

By kerdersty - Canada

Today, I was snowboarding when a skier cut me off, resulting in me colliding with a 12 year old girl. The girl was totally fine, and I was alright except for a slight nose bleed. I apologized to the girl, then her mom hit me over the back with a ski pole as I snowboarded away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36440

You deserved it

3763

Favorite

By liberatedwoman - Oman

Today, my mother sat me down to tell me that since coming home from college, I sounded like "a liberated woman". She was disappointed and disturbed by this and said that I should stop having strong opinions and ideals because it would make finding a husband for me difficult. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55974

You deserved it

7351

Favorite

By Megan - United States - Fayetteville

Today, I was doing my laundry and I saw a dollar bill at the bottom of the washer. I excitedly dove in to retrieve the money, and promptly hit and broke my nose on the washer. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10731

You deserved it

25908

Favorite

By clu - United States

Today, while eating dinner, a car alarm went off outside for 15 minutes and was driving me crazy, until I realized it was my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9775

You deserved it

37002

Favorite

By aylla - Canada

Today, I was diagnosed with vertigo. It's like being perpetually drunk, but without any of the fun bits. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28871

You deserved it

2389

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I went out drinking with my friends. At the end of the night I got a cab ride home. I must have passed out because when I woke up I wasn’t at my place, but my parent’s house, which is the address on my license…120 miles away. The fare was $220. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14999

You deserved it

45422

Favorite

By Medfail - United Kingdom - Bath

Today, at the age of 27, I learnt that your tonsils aren't the dangly bit at the back of your throat. I work in healthcare. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7628

You deserved it

13561

Favorite

By Anonymous - France

Today, while I was out shopping, my pants decided that they just didn't have enough holes in them, and ripped a new one in the crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24786

You deserved it

5437

Favorite

By zetuga - United Kingdom - Luton

Today, my girlfriend asked me to take my belt off as the buckle was hurting her leg. I didn't have a belt on. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28385

You deserved it

5332

Favorite

By whitechocolate - United States

Today, I found out that even though my parents have been married for 21 years, our "family friend," who routinely accompanies us on family vacations, completes their threesome. Everyone in town has known for years, except for me and my older brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54783

You deserved it

2863

Favorite

By cammy - 8/5/2021 05:59

How not to raise 'em right

Today, I learned that my 13 year-old daughter has been wearing the same pad for a week “because there’s no blood on it.” When I told her that it's still disgusting, she tried to defend herself be saying that, "no one ever told her how long she could wear it." FML

I agree, your life sucks

291

You deserved it

2522

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Ewa Beach

Today, my neighbor came over and yelled at me for traumatizing her kids. What did I do? Nothing. Her kids entered my back yard, dug up my 1-month-dead hamster and freaked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49802

You deserved it

3416

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By bloopaloop | 27

#7806658 - Monday 27 May 2019 21:06

Did she send a screen shot of hers back?

By RichardPencil | 30

#7806661 - Monday 27 May 2019 21:36

Cue up the porno music.

“Accidentally,” Oedipus? Really?

COMMENTS

By bloopaloop | 27

#7806658 - Monday 27 May 2019 21:06

Did she send a screen shot of hers back?

By RichardPencil | 30

#7806661 - Monday 27 May 2019 21:36

Cue up the porno music.

“Accidentally,” Oedipus? Really?

By HistoryHasEyes | 19

#7950518 - Sunday 8 November 2020 6:17

Why would you share you dirty tinder messages with your friend?