By ewww - 26/08/2012 09:21 - United States - Seattle

Today, I accidentally decoded the system my parents use for talking about sex while I'm around. It's a substituion cipher, using literary references. As they're both lit. professors, this has me perpetually grossed-out and wondering, "Are they really talking about Anne Frank, or anal fisting?" FML
I agree, your life sucks 28 985
You deserved it 2 536

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I wish my parents were that smart so I didn't have to hear them talk about sex.

Start talking in their cipher. That will freak them out.


I you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything at all.

Fail first comment

lenamartinovic 13

Wow. Let them know, maybe?

blcksocks 19

"mom, dad, if you are talking about anal fisting, please stop" ???

Or "Mom and dad i have successfully spent hours decoding your secret sex language so please change it and I'll try to decode it again"

I think he decoded it wrong , it could have just bin ass *******, then again anal fisting wouldn't surprise me some ppl are real freaks

Or why would oP had to decode it lol now to feel awkward... Way to go oP :p have fun now haha & btw nothing happens accidentally like this lol

40 - 44 - I'm not a grammar nazi or anything; I don't have all the grammar knowledge some people have but if I need to read your comment twice to end up with the same conclusion twice : that it makes no sense, then don't pollute the Internet with such comments please..

66- Don't pollute the internet with your judgmental thoughts. That is all.

Don't pollute the Internet by judging other people's judgmental thoughts.

I'm sorry 66 I thought it was clear what I was trying to say but I'll try to make it clearer... I think he decoded it wrong, instead of anal fisting; Ann frank could have meant ass *******. Plz exuse my misuse of commas and what not I'm not very good at grammar

84, 66 was talking to 44

Does anyone know how to fix my profile do its not on private?

#66 : sorry to break it to you... But not everyone is born with english as a first language and guess watt!! I wasn't as well lol sorry for mistakes but didnt had enough recourse to get to a nice english school like all of you others... So yea pls bear it with me :p

Most people aren't born with a language at all

I wish my parents were that smart so I didn't have to hear them talk about sex.

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Smokingweenies 3

What the **** are 45 and 49 talking about??

Psych101 9

45/49- Where did he say that he thinks parents shouldn't have sex? He simply said they shouldn't talk about it in front of their children. And 45, it seriously took me like 10 minutes to figure out what your comment was saying. "Coz" isn't even correct SLANG. Were you using a cipher, perhaps?

I don't want to hear my parents talk about sex. I don't want to hear my friends talk about it. I sure as hell don't talk about sex in front of my kids. Do people have nothing that's private anymore? To clarify, I talk about sex-related things with others but I definitely don't go around telling others what I'm about to do to my husband. Some stuff is just between us.

45- It was never mentioned that parents should not have sex. Everyone should have the right to have sex, but they must be courteous to others around them. That means not talking about sex in front of others, or having sex when people can hear you. I think my dad and stepmom should take a hint from this.

45's dad should have pulled out.

45/49 just shoot yourselves

3. I know exactly what you mean. My dad is a gynecologist and he has no boundaries

#57 #58 #79 Sorry to break it to you guys... But not everyone is born with english as a first language and guess watt!! I wasn't as well lol sorry for mistakes coz didn't had enough recourse to get to a nice english school like all of you others... So yea hope u all assumpnist grammar terrorist killers would not mind to bear it with me :p #87 : about my dad pulling or not pulling out, it is already done.... But i hope ur kids either have atleast an open minded environment or u better pull out :) Where as #97: i wish i could shoot myself for being considerate of others too... Coz my parents had sex, that is why my presence is there, as well as its something natural and talking about it shouldn't be a big problem :) But just to clear i wasn't tryna say in my first comment that ass fisting or whatever is fine to talk about.... Coz talking about sex is fine but shouldn't go in detail ;) haha

You are way too defensive. People can't help that your comments are extremely hard to understand. You made bad points that a lot of people disagreed with as well, get over it and grow up. You are 24 and the constant winky faces and "haha"s or "lol"s make you seem like a 16 year old girl. That's not even an attempt at English. It's pure text talk. I'm not judging you, just telling you what everyone is thinking and we have a right to say it.

49, how does YOLO even apply to this situation?

why are they talking about anal fisting? I didn't know that was physically possible.

madgrinchhatter 12

Google. Use it.

eatdemcupcakes 4

50 Shades of Ga--I mean Gray.. of the many things on the Internet that I wish I didn't know were physically possible.

I love your blunt attitude! :)

outstandtacular 11

55 - everyone on FML is blunt, if you haven't noticed.

@18 - And while you are "in there", get the shit out of there.

It is possible... trust me... *coughs* Never mind.

Start talking in their cipher. That will freak them out.

reallytho3 11

they'll be horrified, it's the perfect prank lol

Mom and dad, I just want to thank you both for introducing me to Anne Frank! I showed it to a bunch of my friends and they love it too. Oh and by the way... We are out of lube and Crisco.

"Mom, Dad, Anne Frank is the coolest! It's so fun to learn about, and I watched this long video that featured Anne Frank yesterday. It kinda hurts though."

How do you 'accidentally' decipher a code? You obviously must of thought it out and connected it with sexual phrase. Just curious.

gmc_blossom 21

64- Now, was that really necessary?

I'm inclined to believe that it was accidentally stumbled upon for the simple reason that no one wants to hear their parents talking about sex or understand it if they're talking in code.

You'd be surprised for some people thing just seem to reveal themselves, you don't even try it just happens Myself included

AbstraktThoughts 13

I'm not sure if I'm the only one who noticed this, but both Anne Frank and anal fisting have the same initials? Haha maybe that's how OP deciphered his parent's code?

Wishez 12

93- that's the whole ******* point. Who wouldn't notice that Anne frank and anal fisting have the same starting letters?

eccentricchic 5

Either 93 is extremely sarcastic and comical or he's captain obvious ... Wait would that make me co-captain???

FirebirdF350 7

6, I know this is revolutionary, but some people are naturally inclined to connect things in certain ways, it's called deduction, sometimes these tiny little things you hear every day click and you have the amazing realization of the underlying workings of the world around you. It's also known as being observant.

70 - Yes, Yes it was.

AbstraktThoughts 13

My apologies! Next time i shall *sarcasm it. Have mercy on me fellow fmlers!

dirty minded people dont have to think things out and make connections to sexual acts our sub conscience does it for us. "HAHA he said " im coming" geddit"

Youre parents are awesome!! And i agree with 6. An accident? Highly unlikely

Can you shut the **** up please. Dont ******* correct me. Lol jk i made a typo

start randomly talking abut Moby dick around them and see what happens

Don't be a Charlotte Bronte, OP. Parents just wanna have fun.

Best to stop thinking about it lol

Don't worry, they're just talking about "another female".