Today, HR sent a review email to me asking me to anonymously... - FML

By jobless - 1/12/2015 04:01 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, HR sent a review email to me asking me to anonymously tell them about my boss. I decided to use this opportunity to tell them what a dick he was. I printed off the review, filled it out, then scanned and emailed it to myself. Or so I thought. Turns out I'd sent the review to my boss. FML

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Family values

Gas giant

Great guy

By kb - 18/11/2013 06:38 - United States

Today, my mother gave me a bottle of stool softeners as a gift at my baby shower. FML

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By Anonymous - 16/3/2019 16:00

Today, my wife who knows I am attracted to women with long hair -just like 95% of men-, instead of growing her hair long, she said she is going to stop being friends with any women who have long hair because she does not want me to be attracted to them. FML

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By DamnHippieSoap - 29/8/2018 17:30 - United States - Estero

Today, I discovered my washcloths smelled like mushrooms. As I'm allergic to mold, I panicked and spent all day washing every towel and sheet in the house. At last, I went to take a shower and discovered that the mushroom smell was actually emanating from my $5-a-bar organic soap. FML

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By killme - 29/12/2012 22:33 - United States - Lewiston

Today, I was at church, when my mom's phone went off during the sermon. As if that wasn't humiliating enough for me, her ring tone was set to the Bed Intruder song. FML

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By Dafawk - 19/6/2016 20:54

Today, I took my two-year-old out to dinner. During dinner, our son went to the bathroom three times. As we were getting ready to leave he kept saying he had to go potty. He had gone multiple times, so I thought he would be fine. As he stood up, a giant turd fell on the floor in front of everyone. FML

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By Imretarded - 24/5/2009 05:18 - United States

Today, I saw my mom naked as she came out of the shower. I realized that's the first time I've ever seen a naked woman. I'm a 24 year old guy. FML

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By BlueSteele220 - 22/3/2016 08:57 - United States - Coppell

Today, my family got mad at me for eloping and not inviting them to my wedding. Even though they admitted they wouldn't have gone anyway. FML

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By Olz - 22/1/2019 14:00

Today, I received my 12-month diet plan from an online coach. It said, “Eat less calories lol.” I just lost £175. FML

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By helprelou - 29/6/2016 22:12 - France - La Chevroli?re

Today, a guy who likes me a little too much, and who I asked to tone his advances down a little, sent me a message on Twitter, Facebook and by text message to apologize. FML

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By Anonymous - 24/8/2014 21:19 - Canada - Dartmouth

Today, I overheard my dad say "Last time I didn't use a condom, I ended up with Steven, so for god's sake use 'em." I'm Steven. FML

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By brittaneejanex - 2/6/2011 16:06 - United States

Today, while I was in the shower, my curious cat jumped in. She decided she really doesn't like showers and to avoid getting wet, used my naked body as a makeshift tree. FML

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By Anonymous - 26/6/2011 06:12 - United States

Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML

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By thatguythere858 - 13/8/2011 19:04 - United States

Today, I woke up with a foul stench forcing its way up my nostrils. It turns out our septic tank broke, and is now leaking into our backyard, and sadly, our basement. I live in the basement. FML

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By mirrorfad - 29/1/2010 05:49 - France

Today, my mum got upset with me for getting my first hangover ever after being of legal drinking age for over 6 years. She is a closet alcoholic in denial who hides red wine bottles around the house. FML

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By Zack - 11/3/2009 18:57 - Israel

Today, I tried to prove to my dad that he snores by secretly putting a tape recorder under his bed. I soon found out my parents had sex that night. Apparently, my mom likes to talk dirty. FML

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By Ashley - 14/10/2019 22:00

Fire…?

Today, two out of our three smoke detectors were going off. My grandpa won't call the fire department because he thinks our house will be condemned. The alarms are still going off. FML

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By anonymous - 13/4/2020 02:00

Keep fit!

Today, my girlfriend and I were on the phone. She heard I was out of breath and asked me, "Are you okay?" I didn't have the heart to tell her that she'd caught me masturbating, and I'm so out of shape it sounded like I'd ran a marathon. FML

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By Anonymous - 2/4/2009 22:51 - United States

Today, my fiancé turned 21. I stayed up and took care of him for 3 hours while he puked his guts out. When I FINALLY get him to bed, he jumps up and rips the lid off a plastic container on the floor and pukes in it. It was full of all my yearbooks, baby pictures, and childhood memories. FML

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By knzknz - 7/10/2011 00:40 - Canada

Today, I was asked if my bellybutton was an 'innie' or an 'outtie.' My bellybutton has been hidden by fat for so long that I couldn't remember. FML

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By hangman - 1/8/2013 18:25 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my boss suspended me for laughing too hard at my desk and causing a big scene in front of our customers. I was laughing because he'd forwarded me a hilarious email. He was practically smirking as he handed me my official warning. FML

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By Anonymous - 6/9/2020 16:01 - United States - Saint Paul

Dash and dine

Today, I was on a dinner date. Went really well. She said she was excited to have date number two. It came to paying. I went up to pay. Turned around. She had gone. Number blocked. FML

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By jameen - 25/8/2013 12:50 - United Kingdom - Tadley

Today, whilst out shopping with my crush, I decided to jokingly try on a silly-looking dress in an overly-expensive shop. Apparently I took the wrong size as I couldn't get out. Not only did the shop assistants have to publicly cut me out of the dress, I had to pay for it. FML

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By Anonymous - 16/1/2010 16:44 - United States

Today, I lost my virginity to my amazing boyfriend. As we were getting dressed, I realized I had lost my bra. After intense searching I finally found it and put it on. It wasn't mine. FML

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By loveless - 18/10/2009 10:30 - Australia

Today, I realised that the last three people to see my intimate parts these last weeks were my beautician, my doctor and the lady who did my check up ultra sound. Oh, and I'm married. FML

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By Anonymous - 6/4/2016 16:59 - United States - Meriden

Today, my girlfriend wanted to try having sex despite her serious body image issues. Unfortunately, I couldn't get it up due to how utterly terrified she looked. Now no matter what I say, she thinks it's all because her body is hideous. FML

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By lalibear - 3/5/2009 16:07 - United States

Today, I left the sliding glass door to our townhouse open because it was such a beautiful day. Our new puppy, whom we have been potty training, peed in the yard and I praised him relentlessly. He then walked inside the house, pooped on the carpet, and ran back outside. FML

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By Anonymous - 22/8/2018 12:30 - United States - Missoula

Today, I found out that I was misdiagnosed with ADHD 10 years ago and instead have bipolar disorder. For the last 10 years I have been taking meds that helped me focus on my manic / depressive state. FML

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By Jade - 22/8/2013 00:09 - United States - Reseda

Today, my wackjob roommate decided to sit next to me on the couch, basically make out with her pet rabbit, and baby-talk to it. Key highlights involved giggling while the bunny licked up inside her nose and then commenting on the rabbit's "pronounced nipples". Why? FML

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By Anonymous - 16/4/2020 20:00

Stuck in a rut

Today, I realised my wife has been slowly phasing out most elements of our previously active and inventive sex life. These days, it's missionary once a month or she tells me to whack one off by myself in the bathroom. When did we get so boring? FML

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By Username - 13/9/2010 23:19 - France

Today, I found out my grandmother doesn't wear underwear when she bent over in front of me in her inappropriately short nightgown. FML

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By me - 23/10/2011 02:06 - United States

Today, I came home from work to my 3 year old daughter sniffing the rug in the living room. When I asked her what she was doing she said "Daddy smell this." So I went, got on my knees and bent down to smell it and she pushed my face in the dog crap smeared in the rug. FML

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By handyman13 - 25/7/2011 05:43 - United States

Today, I found out that I have a warrant for my arrest, because I was fishing without a fishing license. FML

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By ccat209 - 20/12/2016 04:05 - United States - Riverton

Today, my parents finally realized that I've been sneaking vodka when they weren't home. Note to self: don't let them freeze vodka that's actually 75% water. FML

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By StantheMan93 - 2/2/2015 23:59 - United States - Perrysburg

Today, my wife's boyfriend learned that you can't flush condoms. FML

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By Anonymous - 26/10/2010 02:43 - United States

Today, I felt really depressed so I decided to go to McDonald's, get a sundae and cheer myself up. I got pulled over by the cops on the way, and was given a ticket for an expired registration. McDonald's was closed. FML

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By sickkid - 23/11/2009 18:05 - United States

Today, I found out that my dad hides his Viagra from my mom by keeping it in an Aspirin container. Now I have a terrible headache and a boner. FML

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By disfordiploma - 25/3/2009 04:12 - United States

Today, I found out that I'm failing this semester because I've missed too many classes. I've missed the classes because I've been having panic attacks, a symptom of my anxiety disorder. I got the anxiety disorder because I was so afraid of failing school. FML

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By WTF - 14/7/2013 20:08 - United States - Ann Arbor

Today, my girlfriend of six weeks dumped me when she learned that Macedonia, where I was born, is in Europe. Apparently, she thought that I was "Asian" and she doesn't want to date a "white guy." Yeah, I'm totally confused too. FML

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By barman - 17/7/2010 20:51 - Australia

Today, while working at the bar, I was having a flawless night. Every pour was perfect, every shot expertly measured. I saw my manager for the first time that night, turned to greet him, and knocked over a tray of 30 or so glasses. Two remained unbroken. FML

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By purple - 29/1/2010 11:22 - France

Today, I went to a camp my friend invited me to, thinking we'd just be roasting marshmallows all day and hanging out outside. Nope. It was a soul searching, "get closer to Jesus" camp. The first five hours were spent repeatedly praying and singing. I'm not a Christian. FML

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Top comments

By Steve97 | 32

#6474983 - Tuesday 1 December 2015 14:54

Maybe your boss is hard on you because you make careless mistakes like this?

By MikaykayUnicorn | 36

#6474967 - Tuesday 1 December 2015 14:35

Yeah, you're pretty anonymous now OP. Great job!

COMMENTS

By moodyreallyrocks | 27

#6474965 - Tuesday 1 December 2015 14:35

So sorry OP!

Reply

photographer49 | 22

#6475031 - Tuesday 1 December 2015 16:28

#1 I'm not. If I was sending an email like that I'd make damn sure it was to myself.

Reply

moodyreallyrocks | 27

#6475034 - Tuesday 1 December 2015 16:30

Thanks for the feedback, I was just sorry for the whole situation with OP..

Reply

chillaxed | 14

#6475036 - Tuesday 1 December 2015 16:36

no this bitch disrespectin. NO RESPECT!

Reply

MegasaurusRex89 | 28

#6475070 - Tuesday 1 December 2015 17:55

#22, your comment doesn't seem to fit your name. Calm yourself.

Reply

chillaxed | 14

#6475116 - Tuesday 1 December 2015 19:07

dont tell me what to do you whore

Reply

Brandi_Faith | 33

#6475120 - Tuesday 1 December 2015 19:11

I still feel really bad for op. Yes he made a mistake, but this mistake will probably cost him his job. And it sucks to lose a job. So yes, I do feel bad for him/her.

Reply

niiickk_ | 7

#6475224 - Tuesday 1 December 2015 22:16

#36, his name for the FML is 'jobless', so he indeed lost his job

Reply

helptheorphans | 17

#6475371 - Wednesday 2 December 2015 2:10

lol "little mirror"

By Lemonhead1510 | 17

#6474966 - Tuesday 1 December 2015 14:35

Damn FYL

By MikaykayUnicorn | 36

#6474967 - Tuesday 1 December 2015 14:35

Yeah, you're pretty anonymous now OP. Great job!

Reply

beeferjay | 34

#6475039 - Tuesday 1 December 2015 16:40

p.s. they don't let email noobs join the real anonymous

Reply

shupwhup | 18

#6475225 - Tuesday 1 December 2015 22:17

#23, I hope you're joking.

By SebastianCT | 14

#6474968 - Tuesday 1 December 2015 14:35

Rule #1- Boss always wins

Reply

GreyJedi | 10

#6474984 - Tuesday 1 December 2015 14:55

I thought rule 1 was The Doctor lies?

Reply

Rainbow_Rhinos | 23

#6475020 - Tuesday 1 December 2015 15:56

#8 Nope, rule 1: Don't wander off

Reply

niceguy123 | 17

#6475056 - Tuesday 1 December 2015 17:27

I thought rule #1 was cardio

Reply

UH60 | 26

#6475098 - Tuesday 1 December 2015 18:40

I though the first rule of Fight Club is: You do not talk about Fight Club?

Reply

jhs578650 | 9

#6475245 - Tuesday 1 December 2015 22:58

Rule number 1 is obviously "Never let suspects stay together".

By Tacogamer20 | 14

#6474975 - Tuesday 1 December 2015 14:44

I feel like telling them sooner be being proactive about it would have been better than waiting for this email, but mistakes do happen. Hopefully you can find another, better job.

Reply

gobiteme2 | 34

#6475078 - Tuesday 1 December 2015 18:04

I'm sure this will look good on a job resume

By aruden | 25

#6474981 - Tuesday 1 December 2015 14:53

Always... always double check when it comes to sending a negative review about your boss or anyone who controls your work life.

Reply

mds9986 | 24

#6474997 - Tuesday 1 December 2015 15:11

You should always double check. Not just in this situation.

By Steve97 | 32

#6474983 - Tuesday 1 December 2015 14:54

Maybe your boss is hard on you because you make careless mistakes like this?

By pedinhuh | 23

#6474987 - Tuesday 1 December 2015 14:57

YDI on this one, sorry but how you didn't make sure that a message like that wouldn't reach your boss's e-mail? Should have double checked to be sure.
Well I hope you can get another job soon though.

By hpandher | 16

#6474991 - Tuesday 1 December 2015 15:06

Be careful with your next boss...

By Silk_Routes | 14

#6474999 - Tuesday 1 December 2015 15:15

run run & run