Today, HR sent a review email to me asking me to anonymously... - FML

By jobless - 1/12/2015 04:01 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, HR sent a review email to me asking me to anonymously tell them about my boss. I decided to use this opportunity to tell them what a dick he was. I printed off the review, filled it out, then scanned and emailed it to myself. Or so I thought. Turns out I'd sent the review to my boss. FML

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Work name

Or he's just becoming an old goober

Vultures

By Unlovedchild - 21/3/2011 15:03

Today, I found out why my parents forgot my birthday. Facebook didn't remind them. FML

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By mc_dreamy - 21/8/2010 16:49 - United States

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

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By NotRussian - 3/10/2011 04:15 - United States

Today, I had a blind date with a really cute guy. Just when I was about to invite him back to my place for a nightcap, he took out a catalog of Russian mail-order brides and asked for my help in picking out the best one. FML

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By Anonymous - 11/10/2012 05:08 - United States - Amarillo

Today, my dog overturned and ate my trash, leaving coffee grounds and dog puke all over my floor. She also ate the broom. FML

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By gircos - 30/4/2014 00:10 - United States - Westerly

Today, I learned my girlfriend was cheating on me. After giving her a second chance and meeting her parents for the first time, her father said at the dinner table, "I like the other guy better." FML

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By Anonymous - 9/9/2019 00:01

Take a number

Today, the guy I've been flirting with for a week, and would be meeting in two days, sent me a message that he wouldn't be able to text me this evening because he'll be on a date. FML

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By myusofwe - 6/2/2016 01:33 - Puerto Rico - Caguas

Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with the guy I like. He couldn't get it up and awkwardly tried to stick his limp penis in. FML

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By ... - 27/11/2008 05:30 - France

Today, I was in India. At the airport, the men and women were being searched separately. The guy welcoming us pointed me towards the women's area. I had to explain to him that I was a guy. It took 15 minutes. FML

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By Anonymous - 17/10/2017 06:00 - United States

Today, I was getting a bikini wax to prove to my husband that I could be sexy despite being five months pregnant. As the woman was applying the wax, she said, "You know, if I wanted to, I'm in the perfect spot to reach in and steal that baby." FML

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By Anonymous - 12/10/2012 23:39 - United States - Salem

Experimentation

Today, I walked in on my brother sticking his erect penis through a donut. I doubt I'll ever be able to unsee this. FML

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By Anonymous - 15/1/2016 17:47 - United States - Winona

Today, I got pulled off a hugely important project, all because I accidentally spelled "country" as "cuntry" in an email to our client. FML

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By Shawty - 3/11/2009 03:41 - United States

Today, I went on a date, and within the first five minutes, he said, "Before we go any further and get anymore serious, you need to know a few things, I have kissed a guy drunk because it was a dare, and have a $400 silk rose Victoria's Secret blanket." FML

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By Username - 3/8/2011 14:33 - United States

Today, I got an anonymous letter, stating my condo's community and all my neighbors can hear me having sex. Not only that, but kids gather around my window to listen. FML

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By Anonyme - 22/6/2016 04:05

Today, my parents, who aren’t usually lenient, allowed me to have my boyfriend over. We started to cuddle, things got a little heated, but then my sister walks in and says, “You do my math homework, or I tell mom what you guys were doing.” I don’t remember middle school math being this hard. FML

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By Creepedout - 25/6/2013 01:27 - United States - Clearwater

Today, I walked in on my dad's poker game. He didn't know I was there, and was telling his friends what he would do to my girlfriend if I wasn't dating her. FML

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By Anonymous - 7/9/2019 14:00

Caddy Shack

Today, I've had people calling the golf course just to ask what the weather's going to be like tomorrow. I’m a golf professional, not the weather man. FML

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By devinbyrne - 5/3/2011 20:26 - United States

Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML

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By mel - 18/1/2011 07:05 - United States

Today, I had to blow my nose. Trying to be a considerate roommate, I tiptoed over to the bathroom in the dark, which would have been fine, if I hadn't tripped over a chair and crushed the art project that she's been working on for the past month. FML

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By Anonymous - 16/3/2017 22:00

Today, my boyfriend and I had a lovely dinner date. Our waitress was really sweet, so we talked about leaving her a big tip. When we got home, we discovered we both thought the other person had left it. FML

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By jesushelpme - 22/10/2012 19:08 - United States - Nixa

Today, I came home to find an almost completely devoured cheesecake, The Notebook playing on the TV, and a shoe thrown at my head. It's safe to say my girlfriend is just about on her period. FML

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By sorryyouweregone - 25/3/2013 13:13 - Japan - Tokyo

Today, I was at a goodbye dinner with friends before I move back to America. A friend called to cry over relationship problems she refuses to fix. While I was outside trying to politely get off the phone, my friends ate and drank everything I'd ordered and closed the bill. FML

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By anon - 2/1/2016 15:57 - Australia - Glenfield

Today, my boyfriend was so drunk at a New Years party that he approached me and asked me who I was. FML

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By Anonymous - 18/3/2020 08:09

Caring

Today, I was rummaging about in the pantry. When I turned to walk away, the heavy pantry door fell off, struck me in the back of the head, and the wood surrounding the doorknob cracked. When my mom came home, she accused me of "property damage." FML

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By Jill - 25/2/2010 01:26 - France

Today, a friend of mine commented that I "have a lot of confidence for a fat girl". Ummm... thanks? FML

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By oww - 5/4/2011 07:46 - United States

Today, I went to a baseball game. It was windy, so I decided to get my hat from the car trunk. When I opened it and reached in, loose papers started flying everywhere. Panicked, my dad slammed the trunk shut on my fingers. Entering the stadium, I discovered it was free hat day. FML

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By takinabreak - 10/7/2009 17:03 - United States

Today, I was taking a shower and I saw a new body wash that said "radiance ribbons." That sounded a little effeminate, but it smelled manly enough and the only alternative was normal soap, so I used it. Just now, I stepped out into the sun and found out what "radiance ribbons" means. I sparkle. FML

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By Brinty - 16/9/2009 02:43 - Australia

Today, I was napping with my boyfriend and his dog. The dog was making odd coughing noises, but my boyfriend refused to kick him out of the bed. A few moments later, I rolled onto my stomach, into a pile of dog vomit. FML

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By you can't win - 10/7/2017 21:00

A Lose-Lose Situation

Today, after months of being called paranoid, distrusting and over-possessive by my girlfriend for being suspicious of her, I learned that she really is cheating on me with her coworker. When confronted, she called me ignorant, gullible and naive for believing her. FML

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By an egg - 30/10/2015 13:43 - United States - Livonia

Today, when I went out to get some groceries with my mother, a small girl came up to me and said I was an "ugly egg" because I'm a bald girl. I had to shave my head in order to have brain surgery to relieve me of the symptoms of my neurological disorder. FML

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By gamerlaura - 21/7/2016 22:09 - United Kingdom - Blaenau-ffestiniog

Today, I went to the store to get groceries. After getting all the stuff I need, and was heading towards the checkout point, I heard a baby cry and instantly felt coldness on my shirt. Yes I was lactating, and yes it was noticeable. FML

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By Anonymous - 25/10/2018 08:00 - United States - Floral Park

Today, I was fired from the job I've had for 15 years. My boss recently hired his daughter as a senior manager and she made several cuts because, as she put it, the sales team was "too old and lame". I didn't know being a young bitch was a requirement to work at a furniture warehouse. FML

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By cheeseless - 11/8/2016 20:47 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, I sprained my wrist while trying to grate a block of frozen cheese. FML

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By - 31/12/2009 23:41 - France

Today, my girlfriend left a message on my phone. It was just the sounds of her having sex with somebody. FML

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By geniusdrunk - 9/8/2019 02:00

Today, after a month of sobriety, I woke up in my ex-girlfriend's house with absolutely no recollection as to how I got there. FML

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By EvictingItSoon - 8/3/2020 23:07

The miracle of barf

Today, what I thought was food poisoning is actually a baby. FML

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By spekledworf - 5/8/2014 23:46 - United States - Plymouth

Today, as I wandered through the streets of an unfamiliar city, I spotted a cop and darted across the street to ask for assistance. He kindly gave me directions as he wrote me out a citation for jaywalking. FML

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By ihatemyex - 23/5/2020 14:00

Who are you?

Today, a woman I’d never met came to my door asking if my kids were ready to go. Obviously I refused to send my kids with a stranger. Apparently she’s my ex's new girlfriend and "has his permission" to come get my kids. Now he’s threatening to take me to court for violating the visitation order. FML

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By Anonymous - 15/1/2012 09:44 - United States

Today, I took my car to a drive-through car wash. It wasn't until after my back seat was filled with foam and I had been squirted in the face that I realized my back seat window was rolled down. FML

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By Anonymous - 3/12/2011 18:11 - United States

Today, while I was putting up Christmas lights, my younger brother wouldn't stop pestering me. It seems he hadn't forgotten the time I gave myself an electric shock last year, and he wanted to see if I'd do it again. FML

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By Not dying. - 21/4/2015 07:55 - United Kingdom - Watford

Today, I started getting really bad chest pains at work. I googled it and the internet convinced me I was having a heart attack. Scared for my life, I started to dial for an ambulance when I let out the biggest fart you could ever imagine. Turns out it was trapped gas. FML

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Top comments

By Steve97 | 32

#6474983 - Tuesday 1 December 2015 14:54

Maybe your boss is hard on you because you make careless mistakes like this?

By MikaykayUnicorn | 36

#6474967 - Tuesday 1 December 2015 14:35

Yeah, you're pretty anonymous now OP. Great job!

Comments

By moodyreallyrocks | 27

#6474965 - Tuesday 1 December 2015 14:35

So sorry OP!

Reply

photographer49 | 22

#6475031 - Tuesday 1 December 2015 16:28

#1 I'm not. If I was sending an email like that I'd make damn sure it was to myself.

Reply

moodyreallyrocks | 27

#6475034 - Tuesday 1 December 2015 16:30

Thanks for the feedback, I was just sorry for the whole situation with OP..

Reply

chillaxed | 14

#6475036 - Tuesday 1 December 2015 16:36

no this bitch disrespectin. NO RESPECT!

Reply

MegasaurusRex89 | 28

#6475070 - Tuesday 1 December 2015 17:55

#22, your comment doesn't seem to fit your name. Calm yourself.

Reply

chillaxed | 14

#6475116 - Tuesday 1 December 2015 19:07

dont tell me what to do you whore

Reply

Brandi_Faith | 33

#6475120 - Tuesday 1 December 2015 19:11

I still feel really bad for op. Yes he made a mistake, but this mistake will probably cost him his job. And it sucks to lose a job. So yes, I do feel bad for him/her.

Reply

niiickk_ | 7

#6475224 - Tuesday 1 December 2015 22:16

#36, his name for the FML is 'jobless', so he indeed lost his job

Reply

helptheorphans | 17

#6475371 - Wednesday 2 December 2015 2:10

lol "little mirror"

By Lemonhead1510 | 17

#6474966 - Tuesday 1 December 2015 14:35

Damn FYL

By MikaykayUnicorn | 36

#6474967 - Tuesday 1 December 2015 14:35

Yeah, you're pretty anonymous now OP. Great job!

Reply

beeferjay | 34

#6475039 - Tuesday 1 December 2015 16:40

p.s. they don't let email noobs join the real anonymous

Reply

shupwhup | 18

#6475225 - Tuesday 1 December 2015 22:17

#23, I hope you're joking.

By SebastianCT | 14

#6474968 - Tuesday 1 December 2015 14:35

Rule #1- Boss always wins

Reply

GreyJedi | 10

#6474984 - Tuesday 1 December 2015 14:55

I thought rule 1 was The Doctor lies?

Reply

Rainbow_Rhinos | 23

#6475020 - Tuesday 1 December 2015 15:56

#8 Nope, rule 1: Don't wander off

Reply

niceguy123 | 17

#6475056 - Tuesday 1 December 2015 17:27

I thought rule #1 was cardio

Reply

UH60 | 26

#6475098 - Tuesday 1 December 2015 18:40

I though the first rule of Fight Club is: You do not talk about Fight Club?

Reply

jhs578650 | 9

#6475245 - Tuesday 1 December 2015 22:58

Rule number 1 is obviously "Never let suspects stay together".

By Tacogamer20 | 14

#6474975 - Tuesday 1 December 2015 14:44

I feel like telling them sooner be being proactive about it would have been better than waiting for this email, but mistakes do happen. Hopefully you can find another, better job.

Reply

gobiteme2 | 34

#6475078 - Tuesday 1 December 2015 18:04

I'm sure this will look good on a job resume

By aruden | 25

#6474981 - Tuesday 1 December 2015 14:53

Always... always double check when it comes to sending a negative review about your boss or anyone who controls your work life.

Reply

mds9986 | 24

#6474997 - Tuesday 1 December 2015 15:11

You should always double check. Not just in this situation.

By Steve97 | 32

#6474983 - Tuesday 1 December 2015 14:54

Maybe your boss is hard on you because you make careless mistakes like this?

By pedinhuh | 23

#6474987 - Tuesday 1 December 2015 14:57

YDI on this one, sorry but how you didn't make sure that a message like that wouldn't reach your boss's e-mail? Should have double checked to be sure.
Well I hope you can get another job soon though.

By hpandher | 16

#6474991 - Tuesday 1 December 2015 15:06

Be careful with your next boss...

By Silk_Routes | 14

#6474999 - Tuesday 1 December 2015 15:15

run run & run