Transportation: Today, from across the parking lot, I saw a woman break into... - FML

By hobbled - 17/06/2015 19:18 - United States

Today, from across the parking lot, I saw a woman break into my car and steal my "Handicapped parking" placard. Guess why I couldn't stop her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 160

You deserved it 1 993

There's no helping some people

Batman

Haters

Overreaching

By Anonymous - 11/05/2021 00:01

Today, I was told I can’t wear a nose ring at my new job because several customers "don’t like it." It’s a very small nose ring and the job is a shack that serves food through a window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 711

You deserved it 326

By snickerdoodles - 10/02/2010 21:19 - United States

Today, I was in class and noticed that it smelled strongly of cat urine. I smelled my shoulder and realized that my cat had peed on my sweater. I had six hours of classes left, and the smell had permeated my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 761

You deserved it 5 988

By Anonymous - 31/12/2013 23:38

Today, instead of spending New Year's Eve having a romantic night out with my fiancé as we'd planned, I'm spending it sitting beside him in the hospital because his friends convinced him to go off-road ghost-riding in the dead of night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 071

You deserved it 4 372

By Anonymous - 05/02/2017 13:00 - United States - Modesto

Today, the moment after hitting "confirm payment" for my boyfriend's valentine gift (along with some sexy lingerie for the occasion) on a shopping app, my period tracker app popped up to let me know I'll be well into my period on the 14th. I'm getting cockblocked by mother nature herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 329

You deserved it 1 101

By Anonymous - 09/02/2011 10:02 - Australia

Today, to give the illusion that I have friends, I wrote an outrageous status on Facebook, and then pretended it was the result of a friend hacking my page, all in the hope that it would get comments, likes or at least some attention. Nothing happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 469

You deserved it 46 474

By tootles - 22/05/2009 20:08 - United States

Today, I was kicked out of my parents house. I was sleeping in my truck bed because I had nowhere to go. I awoke to a "beep beep beep" noise. I was being towed while sleeping in the truck bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 817

You deserved it 6 220

By Username - 28/01/2012 19:47 - United States

Today, I was in a Zumba class with a young woman in her 20s and an older woman in her 80s. I couldn't keep up with either one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 048

You deserved it 6 765

By Sarge9774 - 20/10/2016 20:35

Today, I found out that my uncle does not like my step daughter because she likes Star Wars. He stated that Star Trek was better and went on to verbally attack a 6-year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 238

You deserved it 755

By Dumped - 06/04/2017 14:00

Today, at work, I went to place a small item on a shelf. The shelf fell on me, trapping my hand. While lifting it, the top shelf fell against my chest and the products all dumped on my face. I then realized the shelves were only held up by zip ties. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 780

You deserved it 340

By paytonallyce - 03/10/2016 02:32 - United States - Springfield

Today, I got a bug bite on my boob. I scratched it so much it started bleeding so I put a bandaid on it. Turns out the band-aid had latex in it and I got an allergic reaction to it. The bug bite is still bleeding and the top half of my boob is swollen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 798

You deserved it 1 294

The innocence of children

By Anonymous - 21/02/2020 01:00

Today, my 5 year old stabbed me in the back with a pencil because I stole her nose and wouldn’t give it back. My daughter has been sulking now for 3 hours and refuses to breathe until she has her nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 641

You deserved it 569

By Anonymous - 17/06/2017 22:00 - United States - Holland

Today, after an argument, my boyfriend called me a fart knocker and gave me a wedgie. Apparently, I'm dating an 10-year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 521

You deserved it 1 022

Slip up

By clumsyandhungry - 15/09/2010 04:24 - United States

Today, we were closing the restaurant early. I begin mopping as a couple walks in. The lady slips and falls, and to avoid a lawsuit, we offer them free food. After they left, I slipped on the freshly mopped kitchen floor with dishes in my hands. I didn't get free food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 901

You deserved it 8 705

By lamortdeshommes - 28/06/2011 17:03 - United States

Today, I sent my boyfriend to the store to get groceries while I was at work. Instead of what I listed, he came back with hot pockets, ice cream and beer. I'm lactose intolerant and pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 862

You deserved it 8 288

By hubby - 08/10/2013 17:57 - United States

Spicy

Today, my wife's pregnancy hormones got so bad that she freaked out and threw a tantrum, accusing me of always making important decisions for her. All I did was get her some food from Taco Bell as a surprise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 506

You deserved it 5 770

Awkward...

By Sunny - 12/09/2018 07:30 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, I went to this coffee shop in town that has a fire pit outdoors with my boyfriend. I threw out the idea of sitting by the fire together, and he responded by telling me that his father and dog died in a house fire when he was young. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 750

You deserved it 252

By Too fast. - 07/12/2016 05:54 - Uruguay - Montevideo

Today, I got told by my classmates to slow down because I put too much pressure on them. I'm taking a class in accounting for the first time in my life, we are all over 25 and so far we are doing basic math. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 134

You deserved it 767

By cjay2200 - 28/08/2011 21:25 - United Kingdom

Today, my son was eating a plum. I was busy in the kitchen, and he came running in saying "Mummy my plum is wet", I told him it was fine and bit a bit off to prove it. He looked at me and said "No Mummy! Can you wash it please, I dropped it in my potty". I feel ill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 112

You deserved it 9 878

By Anonymous - 16/01/2014 01:57 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, it was my first day at my new school. I've never been the new girl before, so I asked my best friend for advice. She said, "Whatever you do, do not, under any circumstances, be yourself." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 109

You deserved it 5 468

By Anonymous - 22/10/2010 02:25 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me on facebook to stop calling/texting her because she lost her phone. Right under her post was "sent from facebook for iPhone." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 373

You deserved it 4 639

By nurse - 03/11/2010 12:08 - Reserved

Today, I'm training to be a nurse in a hospital. Our teacher asked for a volunteer to demonstrate how bed restraints work. After I was shackled to the bed she said, "Now let's make sure they work. Are you ticklish?" My entire class tickled me until I screamed, cried and nearly wet my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 417

You deserved it 5 302

By Anonymous - 04/01/2014 21:31 - Ireland

Today, I've had my tenth "Christmas" dinner since Christmas last took place. My mum has gone nuts and keeps playing Christmas music, making these dinners, and refusing to let me take down the Christmas decorations. My dad is too whipped to save us from this hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 157

You deserved it 4 670

By Anonymous - 12/07/2013 05:24 - United States - Oakland

Today, I had my driver's test in rural Maine. I hit a cow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 766

You deserved it 14 595

By Carolina R-h - 20/06/2019 04:45

Today, after driving 900 miles, the tongue on my trailer broke ten miles away from home. I was stuck on the side of the road for 3 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 655

You deserved it 123

By Anonymous - 11/09/2010 23:36 - United States

Today, I talked to my boss about scheduling my urgently needed surgery. She asked me to wait until after Christmas, and told me that I should use vacation time instead of sick leave. She's also not going to give me the total paid time off my contract specifies, because it's "inconvenient." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 957

You deserved it 2 331

By jessiegirl - 22/08/2010 03:32 - United States

Spicy

Today, I called my boyfriend to tell him how sweetly the main character on my favorite tv show proposed to his girlfriend. He told me to hang on a second, and later forgot about me while he told his brother about the hot blonde he slept with last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 026

You deserved it 6 451

By fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuc - 02/04/2014 21:22 - Denmark - Herning

Today, the girl I've been dating for two weeks brought up the topic of marriage, then started asking me when we're moving in together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 041

You deserved it 6 859

By Anonymous - 21/01/2011 06:38 - United States

Today, I hit a dead deer that had been left in the middle of the road. My car started to make a funny noise and smell, so I pulled over to check it, thinking I blew the tire on some antlers. The deer got stuck in my front wheel, and I'd dragged it more than a mile. And it wasn't actually dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 047

You deserved it 46 084

By Aw522 - 30/05/2012 23:07 - United States - Columbia

Today, I was cutting the grass, it was really hot and I fainted. I woke up to see my mom standing over me. I thought she was going to freak out and call an ambulance. Instead she said, "Good, you're up. Now you can finish." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 739

You deserved it 2 508

By wantontsu - 11/09/2010 18:59

Today, I had diarrhea in a Walmart bathroom for 15 minutes. Apparently, so did the guy in the stall next to me. He attempted to make small talk to pass the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 634

You deserved it 3 618

By tmi. - 01/11/2012 13:52 - Australia

Today, a customer smiled, looked me in the eye and described to me in graphic detail the swelling that occurred to his nuts after his vasectomy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 990

You deserved it 1 892

By notamathematician - 07/03/2010 10:27 - United States

Today, I told my mom I was 3 months pregnant, expecting her to be happy. Instead, she screamed that I was no longer her daughter and she never wanted to see me again before throwing me out of her house, because I got pregnant out of wedlock. Nice math mom. I've been married for 5 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 480

You deserved it 2 776

By Stupid - 22/04/2013 06:58 - United States - Post Falls

Today, after a few weeks of my friends pestering me to spend time with a mutual friend, I realized we had a lot in common. We both love shoes, peanut butter, and it appears that my boyfriend of three years is her boyfriend of four years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 008

You deserved it 5 235

By not jacked - 20/04/2016 11:35 - United States - East Hartford

Spicy

Today, my friend spotted for me while I was lifting a barbell. He thought it would be hilarious to tickle my armpits as I lifted it all the way up. I can still taste vomit in my mouth and it hurts to breathe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 066

You deserved it 1 541

By Anonymous - 06/07/2009 20:27 - United States

Today, my girlfriend came over to talk. She just got back from a small vacation. She asked me to feed her dogs while she was gone, so I did. I even stayed with them at times so they wouldnt get lonely. My girlfriend had come over to break up with me. She didn't do so earlier because she needed her dogs fed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 893

You deserved it 3 215

By Anonymous - 31/07/2015 18:55 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was changing my clothes with my dog in the room. As I took off my shirt, he looked at me, ran into the corner, and threw up. Well that's a confidence booster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 620

You deserved it 2 777

By computergeek - 26/01/2010 21:25 - United States

Today, my parents got me a new computer for my birthday. They also took the liberty of throwing out my old computer, with 8 years of photos, videos, music, documents, emails, and bookmarks on it. But that's okay, I had a backup. They threw that out too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 278

You deserved it 2 425

By Anonymous - 02/11/2011 15:15 - United States

Today, my mom learned how to use the text messaging on her smartphone. I've received 37 already, and she calls after every single one to make sure I understood her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 096

You deserved it 3 247

By wish.was.single - 25/01/2012 18:33 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend kept whining at me, asking why I wouldn't have sex with him, seemingly not caring that my parents were in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 864

You deserved it 5 645

By notbrowsingnow - 08/05/2014 23:46 - United States

Today, I was bored at work, so I started browsing the Internet. While I was on my Facebook page, my boss tagged me in a status: "I've been standing behind you for ten minutes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 741

You deserved it 51 242

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Thursday 18 June 2015 8:01

At least you aren't mentally handicapped like that bitch

ArtemisRwill 22

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Thursday 18 June 2015 7:58

What a bitch. Hopefully the cops will get her. Sorry OP.

Comments

ArtemisRwill 22

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Thursday 18 June 2015 7:58

What a bitch. Hopefully the cops will get her. Sorry OP.

OysterPearls 33

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Thursday 18 June 2015 9:58

Are there records kept for handicapped placards, so you could report it stolen just as you would if the car itself were stolen?

niallo 23

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Thursday 18 June 2015 15:16

You are exactly right. I have a tag, and it is registered to me. I have seen cops enter the number into their car computer and check them out. Absolutely report it.

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Thursday 18 June 2015 23:44

Most places should also have surveillance cameras watching their parking lots

SassyCassy19 12

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Friday 19 June 2015 0:56

So sorry OP. Hopefully you either get it back, or get a replacement soon :/

catherinecas 30

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Friday 19 June 2015 23:26

In my state at least everyone is given their own number at the DMV and is issued a handicap license with a their picture and the number of their hanging placard.

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Thursday 18 June 2015 7:59

FYL OP, that just sucks. Don't worry, karma's gonna be a bitch to her

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Thursday 18 June 2015 10:39

Agreed. On that same note, why would anyone say that this individual "deserved it"?

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Thursday 18 June 2015 14:29

Miss clicks mostly I think. Hopefully she will either get caught or someone hobbles her.

beantownchivette 8

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Thursday 18 June 2015 17:37

If you are browsing FML via the app, the FYL button can glitch and clicks can appear as YDI(happened to me last night)

Indiantrolledd 16

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Sunday 21 June 2015 16:03

That happened to me. Sorry OP!

deviousangel89 13

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Thursday 18 June 2015 7:59

Wow, what a douche! Karma will come back to get her soon enough...

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Thursday 18 June 2015 23:30

Hopefully a prison sentence for theft and damage of personal property, or worse. All this grief caused for a painted plot of tar....

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Thursday 18 June 2015 8:00

Wow, that is a new level of low

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Thursday 18 June 2015 8:01

At least you aren't mentally handicapped like that bitch

angelalalalalala 9

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Thursday 18 June 2015 9:03

I think morally handicapped would have been a better term.

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Thursday 18 June 2015 8:02

That is so screwed up.

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Thursday 18 June 2015 8:02

That's a really bitchy thing to do

Phooey 22

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Thursday 18 June 2015 8:02

I'm curious how you were across the parking lot when the handicap parking are always closes to the building.

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Thursday 18 June 2015 8:28

its possible that they didnt park in the disabled park (you know assholes always take thise) maybe not, but it is a theory.

cheesetothepower 7

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Thursday 18 June 2015 14:22

Where the handicap parking space might depend on where the ramp is. In older buildings or particularly small lots the handicap ramp might have to wrap around the building, making the closest parking spot to the ramp not necessarily the absolute closest parking spot to the building.

littlekellilee 45

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Thursday 18 June 2015 16:54

At my local coffee shop, people always park in the handicapped spot to "run in to grab a quick coffee", forcing me to park across the lot when I need the spot. I usually put my placard up anyway as a passive way of being mad. This FML is making me reconsider that move.

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Saturday 20 June 2015 14:41

Maybe she was at Walmart? Where the handicap parking is near the entrance, but then the exit is on the whole other side of the building lol

4WheelBurnout 14

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Thursday 18 June 2015 8:04

It sounds like you haven't invested in a rocket powered wheel chair yet.

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Thursday 18 June 2015 8:05

Sorry OP! That woman is not mentally stable. Call the cops if you can describe her

Nearly

Today, I was diagnosed with anorexia. My mother still keeps on calling me a fat fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20

You deserved it 3

Today, I found out my mother listens to my therapy sessions. She’s the reason I need therapy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18

You deserved it 1

Spicy

Spicy

Today, my college fuck buddy started sending my wife our dirty chat logs. Not only have I not spoken to her in years, but the logs are time/date stamped from when Obama was still President. She's never met my wife and I have no idea what she hopes to get out of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 815

You deserved it 109

Today, I’d been bicurious for years but always much too shy to seek out a woman to attempt intimacy. Well, I finally hooked up with a girl I’ve had a crush on for a while. Not only was it an amazing, mind-blowing experience, she also left me with a crotch searing yeast infection from hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 205

You deserved it 291