By Why son, why? - 20/03/2013 11:07 - United States

Today, for the sixth time in a row, I was driving my kid to school and he made me late for work. Why? He was whacking off instead of getting ready. FML
I agree, your life sucks 49 686
You deserved it 6 793

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What did he say when you called him? I'm coming?

Well you know what they say, getting up (and ready for school) is the second hardest thing in the morning.


Make him walk to school or take public transportation O.o

then000bster 16

Yeah seriously.... Is morning wood that hard to get rid of?

Yeah! Make that wanker walk!

NioBerry 7

dude for real if he has time to wack it make him get up and walk it ( or catch the bus)

I pretty much agree with everyone's statements in this thread. OP, to answer your user name on your FML post, it is because he's probably going thru maturity and has discovered self satisfaction is the best feeling in the world, to him, at this point in his life. You need to sit him down and tell him to wake up earlier or he's walking or taking the bus because your work puts food on the table and a roof over his and your heads.

Yeah but he can do it at night or wake up earlier... I only do it if I have time in the morning... Not gonna be late for it

Yo, 73, thanks for sharing, man.

He needs to start taking pubic transportation

But he might get arrested for doing that in public... people don't wanna see that shit.

Sonfang 19

#60 I think you mean puberty, not maturity.

^Good catch, thanks! I think people understood what I meant.

Honestly. I don't know why you let him get away with this 6 times without any apparent consequences.

leezylvl3 3

You're funny lol

xeka 10

"Kid"? Oh goodness.. Well, at least he's keeping from liver cancer :b or whatever Science said it is.

zero4life123 7

I think you just gave me eye cancer....

Uh...what? I had to read through comment #2 several times to try to decipher it, and I'm still lost. Even my Idiot-English Translation Engine is powerless here.

Doc, I'm pretty confused too! I think the commenter was saying that by some how masturbating, he has a lesser chance of getting liver cancer of what ever the doctors have proven what masturbating can do to help not get a type of cancer or disease. Either way, I reread it multiple times and it gave me a headache.

So Doc, will wacking keep any kind of cancer away? What about for women? If true, I see an increase in masturbation taking ahold of the nation. Lol

Come on guys... We all know wanking causes blindness.

I don't know about anybody else, but if I got caught doing that, my Dad would make me walk to school.

insertnameherr 11

That kid needs to know when it's the right time to do that kind of stuff.

Lrigglez 7

Yea i agree

Success4444 12

I say whack him in the head.

CallMeMcFeelii 13

I'd say most fathers would have a hard time even looking at their son right after they caught them with their dicks in their hands. Just a strange situation..

I think OPs son is already on that, 82

Success4444 12

The pun was intended. I didn't think I had to say it.

iammeorami 25

Ya, he was really "hard"

Like father, like son...

I don't recall op saying anything about his chronic masturbation.

The son certainly has his priorities in order.

Well you know what they say, getting up (and ready for school) is the second hardest thing in the morning.

RpiesSPIES 27

I'd say getting up is the easiest, actually... If you know what I mean ;D

Caruci 7

At # 5 - Lol nice picture

Haha cheers Caruci

What did he say when you called him? I'm coming?

I wake my son up every morning with, "hands off cocks and onto socks". He's never made me late for work. Not yet...

ohmygosh, that's funny :D

KittenQuinn 6


That would work better if you're profile didn't say you are a girl...

He's relieving the stress from having to wake up every morning.

well it it does help you focus if you masturbate before hand.

Sir_ND_Pity 35

"I'm sorry, mom! The little bastard keeps on spitting at me so I've got to choke it and teach it a lesson!" Make him walk, OP!

Sir_ND_Pity 35