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By Anonymous / Saturday 8 December 2012 19:30 / United States
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If you were distant, shouldn't you, oh I don't know, try to talk to her instead of looking at her diary? YDI

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If you were distant, shouldn't you, oh I don't know, try to talk to her instead of looking at her diary? YDI

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Kids should be able to trust their parents. I have to hide my diary inside of my sewing machine so my mom won't look at it.

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I think she could have talked to her about it instead. I'd be horrifically hurt and embarrassed if someone tried reading my diary.

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82 Ever think they lie because they don't trust their parents. Shit like this does cause this to happen and it just spirals out of control till one does something way out of line..

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124 - nice wording lol. But seriously I would just have asked my daughter if everything was ok or if she needed my advice on anything. Maybe even just have a normal conversation with her about things that interests her, to start things over.

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Maybe you shouldn't be putting your life story on paper happie, that way if someone did happen to get their hands on your diary you wouldn't be embarrassed. I keep everything locked away in my head, it's safer that way.

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As the victim of diary reading I can tell you it's devastating. I've never written one since, and the last thing I wanted to do was get closer to the person who did it. Poor form, OP

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I guess you get downvoted for trying to view the situation from OP's point of view. *shrugs* Such a fine exemplary community of tolerant people.

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Also, why write down something you'd never want anyone to read? Same as in, don't do anything you wouldn't want published as the headlines of the newspaper-- secrets leak and people in general can't be trusted. I wrote a diary once and it had all kinds of embarrassing and personal information it and I forgot it lying at the coffee table and my mom read it. Of course I got in trouble for it. I just don't think people should write down anything personal they wouldn't want falling in the wrong hand

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There are some things you don't want to tell people, so you vent it through writing. It's an emotional release without being more vulnerable than you feel comfortable with.

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Okay downvote fairies, get off my case. Would it make you downvoters mad if I mentioned I'm in med school while you're probably wasting your life away? Seriously, how pathetic do you have to be to downvote someone simply for viewing the other side of the story? If you don't agree, don't upvote, it's really that simple. Actually, you know what? Down-vote away. I'll start to give a fuck once it hurts my chances of residency. :D

Op why didn't you just try sitting down with your daughter and chatting with her or telling her that you feel like you two are getting distant?

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I feel that invading her privacy is actually more likely to drive you even further apart than simply saying “hello (daughters name). Lets chat.”

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I feel as if it was just a justification to snoop around. Every parent that does this has a "reason."

You could just ask to spend time with her like shopping. Or if she's a teenager she might like to be left alone. But either way don't completely stop communication!

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89 She stomped on the opportunity and blew it up.. She has almost no chance now, if her daughter heard it..

Did you never have a diary? it's the most personal thing a person can have. No one wants anyone to read it, especially their mom. You deserved it.

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I don't have a diary either but I do have a feeling book. It helps me get rid of bad/pissed/sad feelings. My grandma read it and I was really mad.

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It's not a secret book; it's just a book where you can write your thoughts to vent or ponder on events. When I was mad, I would write in the diary, explain the situation, and then close the book. After that, I wasn't mad anymore. I tell my mom almost everything; just not the small intimate details. She knows everything I do, but not the details that would embarrass both of us. I write in my diary to remember happy times as well before I forget; like times with my boyfriend, when we met, and how

YDI for invading her privacy and snooping instead of trying to talk to her. You're going to push her away more, because if she heard you do that, odds are she isn't going to be very trusting of you.

Today, feeling very distant to my daughter recently, I decided to risk becoming more distant and possibly her hating me by digging through her personal things and reading her diary. FML

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Yeah, I'm not sure how you thought this would help OP. Even if you did read something that helped you better understand your daughter it wouldn't help your relationship with her. You wouldn't be able to let on that you knew about what you read without risking her shutting her out of her life even more. I know if my parents went through my things, I would trust them even less.

Yes. Instead of just asking to take your daughter out for dinner and talk, you infringe on her privacy... Good parenting OP

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