By Anonymous - 08/12/2012 19:30 - United States - Long Beach

Today, feeling very distant to my daughter recently, I decided to sneak a peek in her diary to see what was on her mind. The book was apparently one of those that play the sound of a woman screaming when opened improperly, and alerted everyone in the house to my actions. FML
I agree, your life sucks 6 765
You deserved it 62 081

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If you were distant, shouldn't you, oh I don't know, try to talk to her instead of looking at her diary? YDI

Say hello to trust issues and an even greater distance..

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If you were distant, shouldn't you, oh I don't know, try to talk to her instead of looking at her diary? YDI

Kids should be able to trust their parents. I have to hide my diary inside of my sewing machine so my mom won't look at it.

As much as I disagree with what OP did, maybe she was trying to find out what issues her daughter is dealing with so she could have something to talk about to her? But I do agree that OP went about it the completely wrong way.

I think she could have talked to her about it instead. I'd be horrifically hurt and embarrassed if someone tried reading my diary.

The daughter may only be accurately represented by the diary, kids DO BS their parents often.

Just because some kids lie, that doesn't mean every one does.

82 Ever think they lie because they don't trust their parents. Shit like this does cause this to happen and it just spirals out of control till one does something way out of line..

I do lie to my mom because I don't trust her. I have to hide my drugs, even though I take them for a legitimate reason, not because my life is an endless abyss of sadness or some shit.

I totally agree with dat

This person is such a buttnugget.

124 - nice wording lol. But seriously I would just have asked my daughter if everything was ok or if she needed my advice on anything. Maybe even just have a normal conversation with her about things that interests her, to start things over.

Maybe you shouldn't be putting your life story on paper happie, that way if someone did happen to get their hands on your diary you wouldn't be embarrassed. I keep everything locked away in my head, it's safer that way.

As the victim of diary reading I can tell you it's devastating. I've never written one since, and the last thing I wanted to do was get closer to the person who did it. Poor form, OP

I guess you get downvoted for trying to view the situation from OP's point of view. *shrugs* Such a fine exemplary community of tolerant people.

Also, why write down something you'd never want anyone to read? Same as in, don't do anything you wouldn't want published as the headlines of the newspaper-- secrets leak and people in general can't be trusted. I wrote a diary once and it had all kinds of embarrassing and personal information it and I forgot it lying at the coffee table and my mom read it. Of course I got in trouble for it. I just don't think people should write down anything personal they wouldn't want falling in the wrong hands. Write poetry, pen a novel, but nothing that can actually be traced back to you. People can take advantage of that.

There are some things you don't want to tell people, so you vent it through writing. It's an emotional release without being more vulnerable than you feel comfortable with.

Okay downvote fairies, get off my case. Would it make you downvoters mad if I mentioned I'm in med school while you're probably wasting your life away? Seriously, how pathetic do you have to be to downvote someone simply for viewing the other side of the story? If you don't agree, don't upvote, it's really that simple. Actually, you know what? Down-vote away. I'll start to give a fuck once it hurts my chances of residency. :D

99 - Could you please explain? I would like to see if all those thumbs down on your comment were justified.

Hahaha buttnugget lmao hehe

Kids have sewing machines?

What are you, new here? Kids don't talk to their parents if they're being distant. I never did.

YDI it for invading her privacy bitch

Op why didn't you just try sitting down with your daughter and chatting with her or telling her that you feel like you two are getting distant?

OP thought sneaking and being nosey was a better approach. Way to distance yourself more OP.

Shouldn't have invaded on her privacy, maybe try talking to her next time?

I feel that invading her privacy is actually more likely to drive you even further apart than simply saying “hello (daughters name). Lets chat.”

I feel as if it was just a justification to snoop around. Every parent that does this has a "reason."

You could just ask to spend time with her like shopping. Or if she's a teenager she might like to be left alone. But either way don't completely stop communication!

I don't feel like this is a YDI because we don't know the full relationship between the mother and daughter. The only person who should really care is the daughter. Just explain to her that you don't have a good connection and you'd like to change that.

89 She stomped on the opportunity and blew it up.. She has almost no chance now, if her daughter heard it..

Say hello to trust issues and an even greater distance..

Well, you no longer need to feel that you are distant. You now managed to distance yourself even more.

Did you never have a diary? it's the most personal thing a person can have. No one wants anyone to read it, especially their mom. You deserved it.

I've never had a diary. I don't really have anything to hide. Why do I have to put my secrets in a book?

I don't have a diary either but I do have a feeling book. It helps me get rid of bad/pissed/sad feelings. My grandma read it and I was really mad.

It's not a secret book; it's just a book where you can write your thoughts to vent or ponder on events. When I was mad, I would write in the diary, explain the situation, and then close the book. After that, I wasn't mad anymore. I tell my mom almost everything; just not the small intimate details. She knows everything I do, but not the details that would embarrass both of us. I write in my diary to remember happy times as well before I forget; like times with my boyfriend, when we met, and how he courted me. Without my diary, I would not remember the conversations we had.

YDI for invading her privacy and snooping instead of trying to talk to her. You're going to push her away more, because if she heard you do that, odds are she isn't going to be very trusting of you.

Today, feeling very distant to my daughter recently, I decided to risk becoming more distant and possibly her hating me by digging through her personal things and reading her diary. FML

Yeah, I'm not sure how you thought this would help OP. Even if you did read something that helped you better understand your daughter it wouldn't help your relationship with her. You wouldn't be able to let on that you knew about what you read without risking her shutting her out of her life even more. I know if my parents went through my things, I would trust them even less.

Yes. Instead of just asking to take your daughter out for dinner and talk, you infringe on her privacy... Good parenting OP