Today, during a lunch I said "It must be awful to realize that... - FML

By lovely-sweet - 27/11/2008 12:34 - France

Today, during a lunch I said "It must be awful to realize that you've been cheated on!". One of the men present had just found out that he had been. I then try to correct my tactlessness by saying "The worst must be when your wife leaves you for another woman". Which was also the case. FML

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Instadrama

In my day…

You snooze, you lose

By cassieono - 10/7/2014 21:28 - United States - Springfield

Today, I nearly had an anxiety attack trying to sneak up on my sister to silly-string her. FML

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By Lucachoo - 26/7/2015 00:22 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he wanted to go on a date with me tomorrow. His reaction was to pick up a banana and pretend that he was in the middle of a phone call. FML

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By pleasekillme - 19/4/2013 11:44 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, it has been over 3 months since my housemates ended their 1 month long relationship. He's still creepily obsessed with her. He picked the bathroom lock when I was in the shower and tried to get in, and then called me a "fucking c*nt" when he realised it was me in there, not her. FML

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By StillDrowsy - 9/10/2009 12:29 - United States

Today, I woke up in the hallway. I took a sleeping pill the night before to get a good sleep in for work, but it turns out it was too strong. I got dizzy and passed out on my way to my bed, fell in the hall and chipped my two front teeth, and slept there - straight through work the next day. FML

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By Pouponette - 16/6/2016 11:07 - France

Today, the pizza delivery guy saw me in my underwear. My boyfriend is so ashamed of me that he pointed out to the guy twice that we were just roommates. FML

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By Jenn - 16/8/2014 12:10 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I complained to my two roommates about housework not being done. They both put their hands over their ears and started screaming at the top of their voice. They do this pretty much whenever I say anything to them. FML

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By foxyreegan - 4/2/2012 05:22 - United States

Today, I choked on my saliva during a medical interview. FML

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By Anonymous - 18/12/2010 00:02 - United States

Today, I called my boyfriend's job to ask him a question. His co-worker answered the phone, and when I asked for my boyfriend, he assumed I was someone else. Who exactly would that someone else be? FML

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By thatsnotacat - 21/11/2013 17:52 - Australia - West End

Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML

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By creepedouthostess - 17/6/2009 07:12 - United States

Today, while working in a restaurant, I took an elderly man to his table under a red colored lamp. He asked me if this was "the red light district." I thought he was just kidding until when I was placing down the menus he leaned in and whispered creepily in my ear, "You know, you're really sexy." FML

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By Clorpy - 30/3/2018 07:00

#priceless

Today, I was at the Kings Avalanche game in Denver. Anže Kopitar scored a hat trick and people threw hats in. Someone ripped my own hat off my head and tossed it on the ice. It was a gift from my dead grandparents with my name stitched onto it. I’ve had it for 15 years. FML

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By Anonymous - 21/10/2019 14:00

Alas, poor Mickey

Today, I'm going to a cocktail event, except my dress is wrinkled and can't be ironed, so I got my steam cleaner from storage. I saw what looked like mold inside the water container. Turns out a mouse had got into the water container, drowned and started to decompose. My apartment now smells like death and my dress is still wrinkled. FML

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By mo - 19/12/2011 07:55 - United States

Today, my mother told me I looked like a hooker in my wedding dress. Thanks mommy. FML

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By Anonymous - 18/1/2011 18:35 - United States

Today, my extremely lazy roommate is in bed with the flu. Instead of getting up to get water, he's run the garden hose through his window, and instead of going to the bathroom, he's connected a siphon to his penis and run it to a 5-gallon bucket. I have to live with this idiot. FML

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By Anonymous - 6/8/2013 06:19 - United States

Today, I realized that my anger problems have gotten out of hand, when I shouted "Fuck you!" at my toaster. My mood swings and loneliness have also reached a new high, evidently, as my next actions were to apologize to the appliance and then continue talking to it. FML

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By Anonymous - 8/8/2012 16:00 - United States

Today, I was pitching at a fastpitch softball game. The other team chanted about the ball being too high and almost hitting the batter in the eye. After throwing the next pitch, the ball was savagely returned by the batter, straight into my eyes. FML

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By CA19oo - 20/3/2012 01:03 - United States - Buford

Today, I found out what it feels like to get hit in the head with a bat. Not the wooden kind though. The one that bites and claws you when it gets stuck in your hair. FML

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By disgusted - 13/12/2015 07:45 - United States - Logan

Today, I confessed to my coworker that I'm interested in her romantically. She turned me down, saying that I'm a great guy, but that she basically doesn't want mixed-race children. She said she isn't racist, though, so I guess it's all okay, right? FML

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By someone - 1/4/2014 19:21 - United States - Point Pleasant

Today, I resorted to the oldest prank in the book: laxatives in the food. Except it wasn't for a prank, but just a desperate attempt to get my clingy boyfriend to leave me the hell alone. I think I'm going to hell. FML

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By Anonymous - 18/4/2017 12:00

I miss the hungry years…

Today, my cat let a mouse sit on his paws for several minutes, then just sat and watched as it scurried into a crack in the drywall. My cat is only 4. FML

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By cryface - 7/2/2014 04:48 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend he was like an animal in bed. He responded saying I was like a dead animal in bed. FML

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By Anonymous - 5/4/2014 15:27 - United States - Iola

Today, a week after moving into my new house, I'm seriously considering suing the previous occupant. He failed to mention how the neighbor has his own band and rehearses every other day until 2am. Their music is so bad, it sounds like the wailing of a cat being tortured to death. FML

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By obese_chicken - 6/11/2009 06:59 - Australia

Today, I went out to celebrate my birthday with a big group of friends. After waiting in line to get into a club, the bouncer looked me up and down and said, "No fat chicks." My friends went into the club without me and left me to take a $100 taxi home alone. FML

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By noyodel - 4/7/2009 04:04 - Italy

Today, I had been planning a family trip for months. My father had all his bags packed, ready to go in the car. He had my grandmother's ashes in his suitcase, and planned to spread them on a mountain. This morning our car was broken into and everything was stolen. The thief stole my grandma. FML

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By WrongPlaceWrongTime - 25/6/2016 18:51 - France

Today, my girlfriend came to my workplace to tell me she was breaking up with me. My boss, who was passing by, fired me for "chatting with friends" during work hours. FML

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By life// - 8/1/2013 23:56 - Canada - Fort Mcmurray

Today, I was walking my dog when he decided that he was too lazy to continue walking. It ended up with me looking like a crazy dog lady carrying my medium-sized dog home. FML

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By coughcough - 14/7/2013 05:35 - United States

Today, after recovering from pneumonia and a severe asthma attack caused by my dad's fiancée's cat, he chose to keep the cat. I can't go to his house without having to go to the hospital later. FML

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By Anonymous - 21/11/2010 05:39 - United States

Today, I learned the hard way that if you're going to pour bleach on bugs to kill them, you need to be prepared for them to fly up and try to attack your face. FML

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By Anonymous - 13/9/2009 21:23 - United States

Today, I was helping my dad move into his new house. It's a 4-bedroom house and he has three kids so it's perfect. I was wandering around and noticed that the first bedroom is his, the second is my older brother's, the third is my younger sister's, and the fourth is an office. I have no room. FML

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By Anonymous - 4/6/2015 09:08 - Maldives - Male

Today, I overheard my wife telling my mother-in-law I was diagnosed with a learning disability earlier this week. She replied, "I always knew he was a retard. Why did you ever marry that idiot?" All my wife did was mutter "I don't know." FML

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By Anonymous - 19/1/2012 19:45 - United States

Today, I spent two hours filling out an online application and questionnaire for a potential employer. The application stated that there were no right or wrong answers and to answer truthfully. I was automatically rejected. FML

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By JoeyDizz - 6/5/2009 03:41 - United States

Today, while masturbating at the computer, I was interrupted by a flash of light out of the corner of my eye. As I turned to face it, I realized I forgot to close the blinds. Standing at the window in the appartment across the street were two girls, one had a camera and was snapping a second shot. FML

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By emeraldapostle - 17/5/2019 01:59

Today, both a coworker of mine and my boss agreed that I fit the profile of a serial killer. I don't know what's worse, the fact that they think that low of me, or the fact that this isn't the first time someone's said I remind them of a serial killer. FML

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By cookyourowndamndinner - 17/4/2017 06:00 - New Zealand - Hamilton

Today, my roommates sat me down and said we need to have a serious chat. I was worried, until they asked me if I could quit my new night job. When I asked why, they said it was because I wasn't home anymore to cook them dinner. FML

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By Anonymous - 3/4/2020 14:00

Hard to bare

Today, I was showing my boss a picture on my phone. I didn’t expect her to take my phone from my hand and continue to flip through photos. I anxiously motioned for her to give my phone back, only to realize she had already swiped to my nude picture. FML

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By engaged - 29/3/2009 14:03 - United States

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in the food court at the mall. When she said "yes", the entire food court broke out in applause, and my girlfriend and I were escorted out of the mall for "starting a riot". I never knew clapping was a crime. FML

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By derranged - 22/4/2009 18:24 - China

Today, I was the best man at a wedding and I was flirting with a cute bridesmaid. Then this old guy decides to give the newlyweds a toast. He made a crappy joke and barely anybody laughed. So I say to the girl, "Wow that sucked, who the hell does he think he is?" The girl replies, "That's my dad". FML

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By Anonymous - 25/1/2013 00:28 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I learned my dog had eaten a roll of vet wrap, which is like a long strip of bandage. I learned this when she tried to pass it in the yard today, and could only do so with my help. It seemed to never end. FML

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By Anonymous - 25/6/2019 05:00

Today, I was running with two other women when a guy started tailing us in his car and catcalling. I quickly got fed up and gave him the finger. Turns out, he's the husband of one of the women I was running with. For the next half hour, I had to listen to her go on about how adorable he was. She totally saw what I did. FML

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By evecamp - 10/2/2010 05:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of 11 months told me that she's been faking her orgasms the whole time. Just to make me "proud" of myself. FML

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Top comments

By ConfusedGuy | 0

#3511 - Wednesday 18 February 2009 21:23

Dude, fuck his life.

By GhettoWangstuh | 0

#1027 - Tuesday 10 February 2009 9:05

im a friends addict, and that just made me crack up omg

nice one hahah

COMMENTS

By GhettoWangstuh | 0

#1027 - Tuesday 10 February 2009 9:05

im a friends addict, and that just made me crack up omg

nice one hahah

Reply

givemediamonds | 7

#6241197 - Monday 23 March 2015 16:36

Same here

Reply

Host2phats | 21

#6479314 - Monday 7 December 2015 17:21

does OP mean Tastelessness?

By ConfusedGuy | 0

#3511 - Wednesday 18 February 2009 21:23

Dude, fuck his life.

By pinkfrenchrose | 5

#30912 - Saturday 14 March 2009 4:59

WOW

By ILIEKGIRLS | 5

#86595 - Monday 6 April 2009 11:35

Lesbian?
wat.

By xocassylovesyou | 0

#269229 - Friday 5 June 2009 6:59

Sucks for that little wimp of a man. He deserves it for not having any backbone, and being so pathetic his woman leaves him got another woman.

Also, being tacful isn't always the best answer. Be blunt. At least then you are actually being honest. Tactfulness is for pussies.

---Cassy

Reply

jrkardamis | 0

#3003806 - Saturday 30 July 2011 20:29

You have issues

Reply

Googolman | 29

#5014073 - Sunday 7 October 2012 6:21

Where on the FML did it say that the man was acting like a wimp? Also, where does it say it was the man's fault the woman left him? You don't know all the details, so quit being such an ignorant child.

By Moggetlova | 0

#348279 - Sunday 28 June 2009 6:32

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

By brie3 | 0

#377999 - Wednesday 8 July 2009 7:30

Ouch. Poor guy.

By Jari | 0

#388416 - Sunday 12 July 2009 0:03

Ouch. That sucks. But seriously, learn the meaning of "quit while you're ahead". Also, how the hell does saying that help the situation?

Voting both FYL and YDI here.

Reply

Googolman | 29

#5014078 - Sunday 7 October 2012 6:22

OP didn't know the man's wife left him for another woman, and tried to make the man feel better by saying it could have been worse.

By 88sforlife | 0

#1053641 - Friday 2 July 2010 7:55

Lol

By welly_ellie | 0

#1093459 - Thursday 15 July 2010 14:54

dude just shut up and walk away next time