Miscellaneous: Today, during a lunch I said "It must be awful to realize that... - FML

By lovely-sweet - France

Today, during a lunch I said "It must be awful to realize that you've been cheated on!". One of the men present had just found out that he had been. I then try to correct my tactlessness by saying "The worst must be when your wife leaves you for another woman". Which was also the case. FML

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By amandapurple - United States

Today, I finally won an ongoing battle with my family to go to a restaurant I like, rather than a restaurant I hate with a passion. Now I'm throwing up, and my back is killing me. I'm the only one who got food poisoning. FML

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By BigHelp - United States - Grand Junction

Today, my new antidepressants finally kicked in. I switched to them to try to control my anxiety. Turns out that the most common side effect, funnily enough, is nervousness. Guess I should've done more research. FML

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By hugedissapointment - United States

Today, I had a girl come over to my house that I had been texting for four days. I asked her what she wanted to do and she replied "take a nap". Becoming really excited I lead her to my bedroom and went to the hiding spot for my condoms, she was serious about the nap. FML

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By I Tried - United States - Burton

Today, I went out clubbing and hit the dance floor, hoping to impress some girls with my moves. All I got was a bunch of weird looks and was told by one girl that I'm the "whitest black guy" she's ever seen. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, a guy drove straight into an intersection, running a stop sign and narrowly missing my car. I had to swerve into a snow bank to avoid him. He stopped long enough to see that I had a toddler in my car, before flipping me off and driving away. FML

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By Username - United States

Today, I was asked how far I've gone with a guy. My answer? Eye contact. I'm 19. FML

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By Hungry

I am hungry

Today, I thought my mother was coming into my room to give me lunch. She gave me cleaning supplies instead. FML

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By katsaysner - United States - Unity

Today, I got the best grade in class on my economics midterm. Rather than tell me I did a good job, my professor criticized me in front of everyone about how I was working "too hard". FML

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By madiison09 - United States

Today, I got a letter from Yale law school saying I got a 4 year full scholarship. I called my dad crying and read the whole thing... even the bottom, which said, "April fools! Love mom and dad." FML

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By juvenile friends suck - Germany - Tangstedt

Today, I was in the elevator, when a big bearded guy stepped in, wearing a dress. It's not an uncommon sight where I live, but my friend cracked up and asked him if he was wearing underwear. He took it as a challenge, and I can safely say that no, he was not. FML

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By -_- - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I did a photoshoot with my boyfriend and his buddy. We drove out to the countryside and set up on top of a hill. My boyfriend kept having me move further and further back. I eventually fell and rolled down the steep hill, while he and his buddy high-fived each other. FML

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By fatty - United States - Gloucester

Today, my parents gave me fat burner pills for my birthday. FML

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By kill me

Today, while serving at my restaurant, a mother acted as a wing-woman for her son by insisting I read a note he'd written, asking for my number. I had to awkwardly reject the guy in front of his entire family, before having to keep serving them for another hour. FML

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By no one - United States

You've got a friend

Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML

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By hitandrun - United States

Confess!

Today, I hit a parked car and fled because I was so scared. Four hours later, the cops showed up at my house so I broke down crying confessing everything. Turns out, they weren't there about the car I hit. They were alerting me about the string of burglaries in my neighborhood recently. FML

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By FML - United States

Today, I found out that when you kick another man in the snowglobes and he smiles at you, there's something creepily wrong. FML

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By Char - United Kingdom - Falkirk

Today, I walked downstairs with a couple of bags full of stuff, in preparation for a sleepover at my friend's house. My nine-year-old cousin looked at me and said, "Where're you going? Fat camp?" FML

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By hoboman - United States

Today, I was turned down from my dream job at a graphic design firm. Before the interview, concerned about my hobo style would not impress the company, I shaved, cut my long hair, and even bought a suit. They said I wasn't "free-spirited and creative enough." FML

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By Anonymous - 19/3/2021 13:59 - United States - Malvern

Chub rub

Today, I was pooping in a public toilet and a kid had walked in on me. I then heard him tell his dad, "It's okay, I didn't see anything, he was fat so his chubby legs hid it." FML

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By Embarrassed - United States

Today, I had to sneeze really bad in a restaurant. To avoid sneezing on everybody's food, I turned my head to the side and sneezed, it just so happens a waitress was there serving a table. My nose went straight into her ass. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Broken Arrow

Today, I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. My mom's reaction was, I shit you not, to tell me to "walk it off". FML

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By Anonymous - 13/8/2020 23:01

Catching up

Today, I got a message from my crush, with whom I had a one night stand with a few months ago. I was really surprised and excited to see his name pop up on my phone. Turns out, he only messaged me to accuse me of giving him mono, and then he blocked me. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Bellerose

Is that even possible?

Today, I realized my sleepwalking habit has reached new heights. How? I woke up in the bathroom. On a plane headed to California. FML

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By Anonymous - Australia

Today, my boss sent out an email with the subject line "Urgent". He accidentally left the body of the email blank. I replied to all staff "You're firing blanks Peter". I later heard that his wife once got drunk and told everyone that they couldn't have kids because he has a low sperm count. FML

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By Anonymous - 18/7/2020 23:02

Delayed proposal

Today, my girlfriend found the engagement ring I bought and assumed it was a late birthday present. She’s now wearing it on her right hand like a signet ring and she somehow hasn’t figured out it’s a diamond and not a Swarovski. I'm now waiting for her to figure it out before I pop the question. FML

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By kill me now

Today, I realised I've sucked dick to every Simon Pegg movie. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Norwalk

Today, I felt so lonely that I asked Siri to read me Wikipedia articles so that I could pretend I was having a conversation with a real human being. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, it's my 18th birthday. Last month was my best friend's 18th birthday. She spent the night with me, and the next morning, my mom and brother gathered in my room and sang "Happy Birthday" as they handed her pancakes with a candle on top. Today, I was woken up by screams to take the trash out. FML

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By Alexis - United States

Today, my dad looked me dead in the eyes and told me that if I wanted to join the Lingerie Football League, I would have his approval. His drunken friends nodded in agreement. FML

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By Razz - Australia - Lilydale

Today, I got fired, apparently for being racist to black people. When I told my boyfriend, he couldn't stop laughing. He's black. FML

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By Anonymous - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, my doctor finally prescribed me some medication for my arthritis. The cap was insanely well-secured, and my hands were too racked with pain to get it off. FML

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By leogs23 - 7/3/2021 14:02

Nighty night

Today, I got into trouble for sleeping at work. FML

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By Anonymous - 14/12/2020 17:58 - Canada - Moncton

Thanks, babe

Today, it’s my birthday. My boyfriend of almost 4 years completely forgot. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was perusing my mom's Facebook. I noticed she has an album of pictures for each member of the family, except me. The dog has an album. FML

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By Alex - Belgium

Today, I was notified that I've been going to the wrong courses for 4 weeks. A friend of mine was the only person to tell me that the administration had taken the privilege to change my courses. I have now failed 5 courses due to absences and have been suspended from college for 6 months. FML

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By LadyGore - Canada

Today, I realized the $40 iPhone case I bought to keep my new phone from getting scratched, scratched my iPhone. FML

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By ariana - 8/3/2021 21:30

Relatable

Today, after a full year of absolutely zero social interaction, I realized that I don’t miss it. At all. FML

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By Anon - United States - Southbury

Today, I was laughing at a girl who really sucks at badminton. Turns out she has anger issues, and a really good aim when she's mad. I've never been hit so hard in the crotch before. FML

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By Brianna Michelle Ferrell

Mixed signals

Today, my boyfriend took me out to a fancy dinner. Halfway through, he said he wanted to break up. I started crying, but the whole restaurant thought he'd proposed, and started clapping. FML

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By Ackbar - United States

Today, I fell out of the shower. It was still on. Bracing my fall, I reached into the toilet. It wasn't flushed. FML

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Top comments

By ConfusedGuy | 0

#3511 - Wednesday 18 February 2009 21:23

Dude, fuck his life.

By GhettoWangstuh | 0

#1027 - Tuesday 10 February 2009 9:05

im a friends addict, and that just made me crack up omg

nice one hahah

COMMENTS

By GhettoWangstuh | 0

#1027 - Tuesday 10 February 2009 9:05

im a friends addict, and that just made me crack up omg

nice one hahah

Reply

givemediamonds | 7

#6241197 - Monday 23 March 2015 16:36

Same here

Reply

Host2phats | 21

#6479314 - Monday 7 December 2015 17:21

does OP mean Tastelessness?

By ConfusedGuy | 0

#3511 - Wednesday 18 February 2009 21:23

Dude, fuck his life.

By pinkfrenchrose | 5

#30912 - Saturday 14 March 2009 4:59

WOW

By ILIEKGIRLS | 5

#86595 - Monday 6 April 2009 11:35

Lesbian?
wat.

By xocassylovesyou | 0

#269229 - Friday 5 June 2009 6:59

Sucks for that little wimp of a man. He deserves it for not having any backbone, and being so pathetic his woman leaves him got another woman.

Also, being tacful isn't always the best answer. Be blunt. At least then you are actually being honest. Tactfulness is for pussies.

---Cassy

Reply

jrkardamis | 0

#3003806 - Saturday 30 July 2011 20:29

You have issues

Reply

Googolman | 29

#5014073 - Sunday 7 October 2012 6:21

Where on the FML did it say that the man was acting like a wimp? Also, where does it say it was the man's fault the woman left him? You don't know all the details, so quit being such an ignorant child.

By Moggetlova | 0

#348279 - Sunday 28 June 2009 6:32

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

By brie3 | 0

#377999 - Wednesday 8 July 2009 7:30

Ouch. Poor guy.

By Jari | 0

#388416 - Sunday 12 July 2009 0:03

Ouch. That sucks. But seriously, learn the meaning of "quit while you're ahead". Also, how the hell does saying that help the situation?

Voting both FYL and YDI here.

Reply

Googolman | 29

#5014078 - Sunday 7 October 2012 6:22

OP didn't know the man's wife left him for another woman, and tried to make the man feel better by saying it could have been worse.

By 88sforlife | 0

#1053641 - Friday 2 July 2010 7:55

Lol

By welly_ellie | 0

#1093459 - Thursday 15 July 2010 14:54

dude just shut up and walk away next time