By kise - France - Paris Today, drunk at a party, I leaned through a window to throw up. I was outside. FML I agree, your life sucks 10833 You deserved it 33511 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Youdontneed2knowmyname - United States Today, I was so bored I began practicing an irish jig. For two hours. FML I agree, your life sucks 11840 You deserved it 26568 66 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Far Rockaway Today, I was bitched out at 2am by my parents, for trying to "sneak out." I was sneaking out of my bedroom to take a crap. FML I agree, your life sucks 45927 You deserved it 3969 93 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By roommateprobssss:( - United States Today, my roommate pressed "snooze" on his alarm 14 times. I counted. FML I agree, your life sucks 26177 You deserved it 2626 121 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Cantunsee Today, I found out just how close my boyfriend has been getting to our new neighbour's teenage son. I came home from work to find them on my bed and my "straight" boyfriend head down ass up. FML I agree, your life sucks 4932 You deserved it 389 31 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Burlington Today, during a date, I discovered that if I cough with my mouth closed, snot will spray from my nose all over the place like some kind of mucus cannon. FML I agree, your life sucks 33382 You deserved it 6884 88 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia - Hurstville Today, an intoxicated gentleman stumbled into my shop requesting alcohol, which I do not sell. When I informed him of this, he expressed his disappointment by urinating on the floor. FML I agree, your life sucks 28259 You deserved it 2239 81 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By brittsters - Canada - Hamilton Today, I went to visit my mom and my 3-month-old sister. I picked the baby up, totally unaware that she had just eaten. As I went to give her a kiss, she vomited straight into my mouth. Let's just say she wasn't the only one who puked. FML I agree, your life sucks 23835 You deserved it 2950 45 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Homeless - United States Today, I got back to my apartment from being away for the past week on Spring break. I found the locks on my apartment changed and all my things on the curb, many of them broken or stolen. I ran to the leasing office to see what had happened. Turns out it was an accounting error on their part. FML I agree, your life sucks 96841 You deserved it 3508 93 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By I will find you and I will fucking fuck y - United Kingdom - Falmouth Today, I woke up from a short nap, only to find two waxing strips stuck to my eyebrows. I now have very little of my eyebrows remaining, and just as little idea which idiot in my family pulled this stupid excuse of a prank. FML I agree, your life sucks 43988 You deserved it 4944 67 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By thisrllysucks - United States Today, I was going to ask this girl I love to homecoming. I set up a scavenger hunt, and my friend led her through it. At the end of the scavenger hunt I had a note that said, "Homecoming?" She said yes and hugged my friend. When I told her it was me who was asking, she laughed and said no. FML I agree, your life sucks 49573 You deserved it 10606 169 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By oops - Canada - Okotoks Today, while packing for a trip, my mom bumped my bag and it started to vibrate. She flew into a huge rage calling me all sorts of colourful names, thinking it was a sex toy. It was my tooth brush. FML I agree, your life sucks 76389 You deserved it 5664 109 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By IMSERIOUS - United States - Anaheim Today, I told my parents I was thinking about joining the army. They looked at each other and laughed for about 10 minutes straight. I wasn't joking. FML I agree, your life sucks 45899 You deserved it 5779 142 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom Today, I discovered that I have developed an allergy to salt water on my face. Now, every time I sweat or cry, I come up in a bright red rash. I am allergic to my own bodily fluids. FML I agree, your life sucks 66691 You deserved it 3588 96 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By brokeasscollegelife - United States - Tallahassee Today, I biked to the store to buy a new lock, since biking is my only form of transportation. I left my bike unattended for the last time, only to come back with a new chain, but no bike. FML I agree, your life sucks 22516 You deserved it 3412 34 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - Canada - Saskatoon Today, it was report card day at swimming lessons. Because it was the last day, a little girl brought me flowers. She was the only kid in that class who didn't pass. FML I agree, your life sucks 45054 You deserved it 4083 72 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By smellslikeroses - 30/12/2020 05:00 - United States - Oxnard Good smell Today, while going to the bathroom, I noticed a smell lingering. It smelled good so I kept sniffing the air. And then it hit me. My poop! My poop smelled good and I'd been sniffing and enjoying it. FML I agree, your life sucks 619 You deserved it 1764 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By strangeprincess RIP, Moggie Today, I had to put my cat to sleep after she was in an accident. While I was crying hysterically, the vet asked me for $230. FML I agree, your life sucks 1731 You deserved it 266 18 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I got ice cream with a guy I'd met at a wrestling match a few days ago. When I got home, I found out that my mother had been sitting in the parking lot and watched us through the windows. FML I agree, your life sucks 30209 You deserved it 2800 132 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Chriso - Australia Today, I was finally discharged from hospital after being in there for one month, I arrive home to find a letter from a debt collection agency for my unpaid car insurance premium, and another letter from my car insurer to say that they aren't covering my accident due to non payment of premium. FML I agree, your life sucks 30276 You deserved it 3931 40 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, my neighbour's kitten got run over, so I bought her chocolate as comfort food. When I gave it to her she joked, "Now I'm going to get fat." It was at that moment that my brain stepped out and my mouth took over and I heard myself say, "You deserve it!" FML I agree, your life sucks 2325 You deserved it 820 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By RAB - 18/7/2020 02:02 Lovin' it Today, as the manager of a McDonald's, I had to ask a group of high school kids to calm down after several complaints from other guests. Their rational response was to pour soda on my head and throw burgers at me. Upon returning from chasing them out, I sprained my foot. FML I agree, your life sucks 1827 You deserved it 138 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Wolf Today, I went to my local bank after getting an email from them concerning unknown purchases. Four hours later, I was still in police custody. Someone had been using my account to purchase guns and drugs. FML I agree, your life sucks 2929 You deserved it 131 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ohaifml - United States Today, my dad got into an argument with the cashier about how overpriced the scented tampons were. FML I agree, your life sucks 32397 You deserved it 2807 189 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 27/9/2020 08:03 - United Kingdom - Bristol New skills Today, I lost my virginity. Today, I also learned how to fake an orgasm. Twice. FML I agree, your life sucks 959 You deserved it 1000 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom - London Today, I took my daughter on her first visit to the zoo. While we were watching the lemurs, some kid thought it would be funny to start shouting "MONKEY CUNTS" at them at the top of his voice. Now my daughter refuses to stop repeating the same phrase. FML I agree, your life sucks 34961 You deserved it 3096 65 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By L_M_AND_R_L - United States Today, I asked my mom not to bring her dog to my wedding, since he's a real pain in the ass. She told me not to worry about it because she didn't feel like going anyway. FML I agree, your life sucks 14884 You deserved it 1164 32 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By nilssonfan - United States Today, I bought one of my favorite albums from when I was growing up. When I looked at the liner notes, I learned that my favorite song on the album wasn't about taking a bath, but about going to a brothel. My second-favorite isn't about moving, but about suicide. My childhood just shattered. FML I agree, your life sucks 27703 You deserved it 5863 118 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Kali - United States - San Francisco Today, I got a call from a potential employer. They spent five minutes explaining job duties and I listened with anticipation. Then they spent five minutes explaining why I wasn't the right person for the job. FML I agree, your life sucks 31038 You deserved it 2272 40 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia Today, I finally found the words to describe how I felt after 2 years of depression. I asked on Yahoo Answers what I should do next. The most 'helpful' answer told me to go on a picnic. FML I agree, your life sucks 13532 You deserved it 27857 119 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By smh - United States - Milltown Today, my sister called me up extremely excited because she found out Flo Rida is from Florida. She's 22. FML I agree, your life sucks 42327 You deserved it 3959 103 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - New Zealand - Hamilton Today, we got my dad an iPad for his birthday. I had to repeatedly reassure him that he could in fact touch the screen without being shocked. FML I agree, your life sucks 41468 You deserved it 3947 63 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By dirtythief - Philippines - San Juan Today, I placed an order at a fast food joint, when the elderly lady behind me cussed me out for ordering the same thing she wanted. She ranted that I was a "dirty thief", while everyone else glared at me as if I was holding up the line. What the fuck? FML I agree, your life sucks 49477 You deserved it 3050 69 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By becca1417 - United States Today, I was at the mall in a store looking at movie posters. I turned around and suddenly saw a creepy guy smiling at me, holding his arms out wide. I screamed "holy shit!" really loudly, causing everyone to stop and stare at me funny. Then I realized the creepy man was a cardboard cutout. FML I agree, your life sucks 14699 You deserved it 45187 134 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By JD - United States Today, while I was making love to my wife, she looks up and says, "I'll paint the ceiling white." FML I agree, your life sucks 22414 You deserved it 4036 42 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia - Greensborough Today, I was sitting on a bench outside a supermarket waiting to be picked up, when a old lady walked out of the shop. She hadn't noticed me and sat on the bench beside me. She looked around and saw me, rolled her eyes, got up and moved to a different bench. FML I agree, your life sucks 39512 You deserved it 3822 74 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By brokedad - United States Today, I was questioned by police for forcing a 12-year-old to get in my car. That 12-year-old is my daughter, who refused to get in until I agree to buy her a highly expensive purse just to become popular. FML I agree, your life sucks 58521 You deserved it 7318 179 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - United States Today, I had a volleyball game against our rivals. I hit myself in the face with the ball 3 times, fell flat on my face against the court, and later had an asthma attack with no inhaler in sight. We lost the game. FML I agree, your life sucks 28636 You deserved it 6708 158 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ohEw - United States - Pasadena Today, while doing my laundry, I found a very clean but presumably used ribbed condom in my freshly washed and dried sheets. It was not mine. FML I agree, your life sucks 3890 You deserved it 242 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Username Today, after we'd let an author rent out our cabin, we read in the book of poems he wrote while staying that he'd described how he enjoyed sitting on our table naked. The same table we often eat off. FML I agree, your life sucks 32305 You deserved it 5129 68 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By wearashirt - United States Today, I had to take a test that's required to pass the class. The test administor told us that those of us who were wearing hoodies would have to take them off. I would have taken mine off, but I was only wearing a bra underneath. There's no other days I can reschedule the test. FML I agree, your life sucks 36909 You deserved it 14397 213 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today, whilst getting ready, I decided to have a strong coffee. Followed by the runs. My hook up arrives in half an hour. FML I agree, your life sucks 266 You deserved it 108 2 Comments
Today, I got my period. I was going to have my first threesome tomorrow. FML I agree, your life sucks 752 You deserved it 336 4 Comments
