Transportation: Today, at work, I helped out an employee who was having trouble....

By peachesthepigeon - United States

Today, at work, I helped out an employee who was having trouble. I even bought her a bottle of water. After the production manager decided to fire her on the spot, she went out in the parking lot and broke into several cars, including mine. FML

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30053

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Transportation

Understandable

Cut her off

Thanks for the miracle

By raidered - United States

Today, my three year old nephew was pointing at the TV screen and saying "Uncle, Uncle!" He thought it was me on the screen. It was Rosie O'Donnell. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30425

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By Super Confused - United States - Fremont

Today, I got my graded essay from my teacher. Earlier, he'd said that it was "too specific", and that I should change it to be "more general and debatable". Now that I've got it back, the first comments on the paper are, "Your thesis is too general, be more specific." FML

I agree, your life sucks

14652

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By anti88 - United States

Today, I reached the point in my life where Target is the "expensive" store. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37961

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By FML - United States

Today, I blushed when a fortune cookie said "You have the attitude of a winner." My self esteem is so low. FML

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27677

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By preggo eggo

MAKE UP YOUR MIND

Today, after months of my fiancé begging me to have a baby with him, I found out I’m pregnant. He doesn’t want a baby anymore. FML

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4026

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By Anonymous

Today, my husband told my 5-year-old daughter that if I swallowed a watermelon seed, I would get pregnant. Tonight, she dropped one in my mouth while I was asleep. FML

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5212

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By Mmm - United States - San Francisco

Today, my girlfriend asked me to get her a pregnancy test. After using it, we couldn't find how to tell if she was or wasn't pregnant. After about 10 minutes of waiting, Google searching, and tension, I realized I had bought an ovulation test. FML

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13331

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By Tagged - United States

Today, I accidentally left the tag on the new pants that I wore to work. Nobody had brought it to my attention for the whole day until finally, before I was about to go home, every single employee and my boss let me know by yelling in unison and laughing as I left the building. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34142

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By Anonymous - United States - Lombard

Today, I found out that my daughter has been stuffing my push-up bras and lipstick into her backpack, putting them on at school, and taking them off before she gets home. She's 9. The only reason I found out is because her teacher reported me to social services. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55437

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By fuck you with a bacon cock - United Kingdom - Forres

Today, I got up early in the morning to get a snack, only to walk in on my "vegan" housemate eating a turkey sandwich. This bastard harasses me every other day about my meat-eating, but all he could do after he noticed me was drop the sandwich and claim he'd been sleepwalking. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43172

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By ouch. - United States - Stamford

Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2632

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327

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By alii2349 - Canada - Brandon

Today, I yelled at my boyfriend's cat for staring at me, then cried about it for an hour. Pregnancy life. FML

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48363

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband pooped the bed for the second time since we've been married. We've been married a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51733

You deserved it

5425

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I went on a date to the zoo. I soon found out that my date had eaten several hash brownies before entering. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27974

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4198

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By I don't know, son - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was lying beside my 5-year-old son to help him get to sleep. He turned his head and asked, "Daddy, why do you suck so much?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

49734

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By gamerlaura - United Kingdom - Blaenau-ffestiniog

Today, I went to the store to get groceries. After getting all the stuff I need, and was heading towards the checkout point, I heard a baby cry and instantly felt coldness on my shirt. Yes I was lactating, and yes it was noticeable. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12606

Phew, glad it wasn't me

1450

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By ouchouchouch - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I was adjusting my nose piercing from the inside. My mother saw and thought I was picking my nose, so she slapped my hand away, tearing my nose ring out in the process. FML

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34406

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By tacky_unrefined - United States

Today, my boyfriend of four months broke up with me via text message. He spelled my name wrong. FML

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51393

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4060

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By reallyhighschool - United States - Torrance

Today, I got nominated to sit in a chair in the middle of the gym during a high school rally while the entire school got to throw paper balls at me. FML

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45905

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4650

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my younger brother called me saying he's getting married. Now, I have to attend my ex's wedding. I'm the best man. FML

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40850

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By Anonymous - Canada - Toronto

Front line workers

Today, my partner and I got called out to a domestic disturbance. Things turned ugly while we were en-route. Long story short, I now know how many grown men it takes to lift a nearly 400lb shit-covered woman onto a stretcher. I almost reconsidered my choice of career. FML

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22800

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By Nope - China

Today, I defended the dried up things in the cup noodles as being real vegetables, just so that it would appear that I do actually eat vegetables. FML

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7367

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By traumatised

Today, I went to make my morning coffee as usual. When I opened the container for the coffee grounds, I saw it bubbling. Perplexed, I looked closer. This is how I discovered that maggots can actually bubble what they ingest. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1971

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253

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By HeSucks - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me a box of chocolates for Christmas. I thought it was sweet until I noticed the heart drawn on the back. It's the same box of chocolates I gave him for Christmas. Christmas last year. FML

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34004

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By veiny - United States - Kingsport

Today, my nurse girlfriend told me she's more attracted to the veins in my arm than any other part of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31540

You deserved it

3758

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By lightblue - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend is an active member of the suicide forum. He told me I should make an account too. FML

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31578

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3256

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I managed to staple my finger while showing my kindergartner class how to properly use one. FML

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11344

You deserved it

24144

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By Yousaidyouweremoving - United States

Today, I saw my ex-boyfriend at Wal-Mart. This would have been fine had he not broken up with me because he was "moving to Canada." FML

I agree, your life sucks

10282

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732

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend, only for her to slap me, throwing the "fake ring" away and storming off, convinced it was a cruel joke. FML

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42897

You deserved it

3737

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, my parrot won't stop repeating my boyfriend's name. The problem is we broke up days ago and my parrot won't shut up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31345

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4909

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By tedfragle - United Kingdom - Bournemouth

Today, I realised that as I get closer to home, I drive slower and slower so I'm away from my husband for longer. FML

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11568

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By fappy dog - United States - Granite City

Today, and for the past week, my dog started barking at my door when I start masturbating. I think my mom is starting to suspect. FML

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50482

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By dumb - United States

Today, my new subletter moved in. Within 6 hours one of my cats took a dump on her pants. I freaked out, lit some candles to hide the smell and threw her pants in the washer. When the cycle was done I found her cell phone at the bottom of the washing machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41912

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I was trying on a shirt and asked my boyfriend if he liked it. He replied, "If I say no, can we still have sex tonight?" FML

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34221

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By Unloving - United States

Today, a man proposed to me in classic style on one knee. Unfortunately, I have been telling this man for the last two months that I don't even want to date him. He thinks I'm playing hard to get and is not giving up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35906

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By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco

Today, I found out the hard way that blood-filled deer ticks can look a lot like black jelly beans. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33925

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - United States - Torrance

Today, I was given the following pearls of wisdom: "My grandmother always told me, if you've got nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all. Anyway, she was a cunt and so are you." Thanks, dad. Thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21486

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By bad blood, no shit - United States

Today, my husband and I went to my overbearing mom's 57th birthday party. He opened his gift in front of her and said smugly, "The makeup's for your face, and the prayer book's for the fat rolls." Any hope of family peace is now lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26833

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By Anonymous - United States - Jasper

Today, I finally finished a gruelling shift at the hospital. I hadn't slept in over 30 hours, so I was happy to get out. I was quickly rushed back in after I collapsed in the parking lot and cracked my head open. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13435

Phew, glad it wasn't me

1142

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By Posty - United Kingdom

Today, on the way to work, I pulled over at a postbox to post a letter. I walked up to the box with the letter in one hand, car key in the other. Guess which one I posted. FML

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Top comments

By x_Cupcakes | 0

#1987163 - Wednesday 19 January 2011 23:57

What an ungrateful b!tch!

By perdix | 29

#1987345 - Thursday 20 January 2011 0:50

A bottle of water is not a good enough bribe to prevent a car break-in.

A bottle of Jack might have done the trick!

COMMENTS

By x_Cupcakes | 0

#1987163 - Wednesday 19 January 2011 23:57

What an ungrateful b!tch!

foshizzle33 | 0

#1987260 - Thursday 20 January 2011 0:20

oh wow you bought her a bottle of water, you deserved to be robbed from

Juliaa15 | 6

#1987332 - Thursday 20 January 2011 0:42

^my thoughts exactly.^

Bobissmall | 13

#1987389 - Thursday 20 January 2011 1:08

If you're angry enough to break into cars as revenge, you probably don't pay attention to whos care it is. So FYL, but when she realises she will probably feel bad... if that helps...

Falcon_My_Life | 0

#1987613 - Thursday 20 January 2011 3:23

Sue

TheRealFamilyGuy | 5

#1987650 - Thursday 20 January 2011 3:39

reminds me of how I helped robert downey jnr get drugs. how does he repay me? by buying me a transsexual hooker...

By ThatsAfurry | 9

#1987168 - Wednesday 19 January 2011 23:58

thats terrible, she should get put into some serious anger management classes

By theybebitchin | 4

#1987178 - Thursday 20 January 2011 0:00

pim slap her!

m0tl3ycru3qwr | 0

#1988449 - Thursday 20 January 2011 10:23

who's pim?

jaqie | 0

#1989435 - Thursday 20 January 2011 16:42

tha girl from Phil of the future

By Cjw1220 | 0

#1987191 - Thursday 20 January 2011 0:03

Show her who's boss. Break into her house and light her bed on fire.

SirEBC | 7

#1987231 - Thursday 20 January 2011 0:12

Eminem?

By SirEBC | 7

#1987204 - Thursday 20 January 2011 0:04

Anger is a bitch.

By spoo | 24

#1987206 - Thursday 20 January 2011 0:05

call the police. get stuff back (+ any repair expenses +time lost)... not the end of the world.

By machiko_fml | 0

#1987220 - Thursday 20 January 2011 0:07

I mean if you call the police you'd get your stuff back.. right.?

burritosrgood | 12

#5906454 - Sunday 6 April 2014 6:34

Turd

By McMan | 23

#1987243 - Thursday 20 January 2011 0:17

Come on people you should realize by now with all the other FMLs like this, karma is the type of asshole who won't return the favour. FYL.

By honeybunches88 | 5

#1987271 - Thursday 20 January 2011 0:23

I love all the bitchy comments on here complaining about the OP's coworker being a bitch. :)

McMan | 23

#1987307 - Thursday 20 January 2011 0:31

I do believe the OP's coworker acted in an inappropriate manner that could only be described in a one way and please do forgive me, a bitch. Better? :P

By Mirorbo | 26

#1987278 - Thursday 20 January 2011 0:24

No good deed goes unpunished, darling. That's why I prefer a life of crime myself. Karma screws you either way!~

ohsnapsnoudidnt | 0

#1987440 - Thursday 20 January 2011 1:29

So breaking into OP home, having your way with her.....
Would that be so bad for the stuff that she took from you