By twatstick - 21/08/2013 17:30 - United Kingdom - Worksop

Today, at work, I had to utter the phrase, "Sir, please stop rubbing yourself with the peas." It's exactly how it sounds. FML
I agree, your life sucks 47 747
You deserved it 3 362

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I hope you work at a grocery store. Otherwise this FML goes from kinky to truly bizarre.

ballettillidie 8

Please use the lotion instead.


It's better than having to say "Sir please stop rubbing yourself in pee"

Does that mean he was rubbing the inside if his bladder? Ouch.

Why not rub yourself with pee. I hear it's a healthy conditioner

ballettillidie 8

Please use the lotion instead.

Jake_Hale 7

Why? The peas is already itself a turn on. Better than 50 shades a grey I might say lol (oh my god I rhymed)

The lotion on his peanis? Sounds like an average night for me

MichellinMan 20

It puts the lotion on the skins or it gets the hose again.


You know, some people would pay more for Those peas.

#43. Deserves infinite downvotes

shaww 28

It sounds like he's masturbating with peas

Sherlock is that you?

Where is Watson? I always thought he was the mastermind.

I hope you work at a grocery store. Otherwise this FML goes from kinky to truly bizarre.

Cleanup on aisle 3

Or an old folks home. Crazy shit always happens there

It could have also potentially been in a restaurant. "Sir, please refrain from using your genitals to stir your split pea soup."

Corgidan 12

At least she was able to maintain a *adorns tinted lenses* PEASful situation!

I've always had such a problem trying to like vegetables. Now look at this guy! What a champ

true. I have always been told to eat my greens... never to play with my food though....

I am afraid to ask what kind of job you have lol. Hopefully an all natural lotion manufacture that uses peas? Maybe, probably not but oh god I dont know what to think.

yourmurderscenex 13

I guess a grocery store is out of the question?

Resturant? Nursing Home? Home Nurse? Stripper?

everton99 16

Loving the OP's name though.

Me too!

I need more information because my mental picture is a tad disturbing.

I don't think more details will make it less disturbing sadly.

Can i have your job? It seems so entertaining

It's probably in the New Zealand Beehive. :)

I Love your job!